Massage Parlor Reports

[Murrican]

Haha! This is also true and makes me realize how much social context you pick up in this hobby. Unspoken rules and procedures. And there are so many more.

Those signs on the wall say no illicit offers are laughable.

You will meet many girls named Coco. That is not their real name.

You will occasionally misjudge a place as a rub shop when it's legit and you'll feel bad. They will be fine. The last time somebody made this mistake was like five minutes ago. They probably even wonder if they should just take the money.

You will be disappointed in the quality of provider. Repeatedly. Both looks and attitude. Surprise: in this business Yelp is not a thing.

Speaking of which, bad Yelp reviews means it's a tug shop.

To add one more thing to all this excellent advice: The cheaper the sign out front, the more accommodating the place. If they have a fancy, illuminated sign, with a custom logo and the name of the spa, it is more likely to be legit. The best places are the ones with the simple "Massage" sign on the building, or even better, a canvas / vinyl sign, held on by grommets. It's pretty much an open admission that they expect to be shut down. Best of all are the places with no sign at all. Maybe just decals on the glass windows. An amazing place I once went to in Chatsworth had no sign at all. You had to know it was there. The windows were blacked out with film. I don't think they lasted six months, but it was fun while it lasted.

[GeezerX]

To add one more thing to all this excellent advice: The cheaper the sign out front, the more accommodating the place. If they have a fancy, illuminated sign, with a custom logo and the name of the spa, it is more likely to be legit. The best places are the ones with the simple "Massage" sign on the building, or even better, a canvas / vinyl sign, held on by grommets. It's pretty much an open admission that they expect to be shut down. Best of all are the places with no sign at all. Maybe just decals on the glass windows. An amazing place I once went to in Chatsworth had no sign at all. You had to know it was there. The windows were blacked out with film. I don't think they lasted six months, but it was fun while it lasted.

To add to this excellent advice:

Don't lie. If they ask, yes, it's your first time there. You don't have to say first time ever, just first time there.

A gentle caress on her leg will help put her at ease, and let her set the pace for the session.

Book the thirty min. If they only offer an hour, or try to upsell, walk.

Bring. 6 for HJ. That should be good if that's all you are after. You may get some negotiations about upper or lower access, and, like the rest of us, you play that by ear..

[PlayerN818]

You'll understand when you go your first time, but with your expectations literally anyplace will do. These places are largely interchangeable or this forum wouldn't exist? Pick a place with an awkward sounding name, a neon Open light out front, and a holding area up front that someone has to unlock to get to the massage rooms. Strip naked and put the towel on yourself. And just wait for the words "turn over. ".

To add to this excellent advice:

Don't lie. If they ask, yes, it's your first time there. You don't have to say first time ever, just first time there.

A gentle caress on her leg will help put her at ease, and let her set the pace for the session.

Book the thirty min. If they only offer an hour, or try to upsell, walk.

Bring. 6 for HJ. That should be good if that's all you are after. You may get some negotiations about upper or lower access, and, like the rest of us, you play that by ear.

Deep breaths, because you're going to be nervous as fuck.

Good luck.

[Murrican]

Looking for the best spot to get a decent massage and a HJ. My expectations are pretty low as it will be first time so looks don't matter too much since I'll be excited as fuck. Noob friendly places?

Thanks!

You'll understand when you go your first time, but with your expectations literally anyplace will do. These places are largely interchangeable or this forum wouldn't exist? Pick a place with an awkward sounding name, a neon Open light out front, and a holding area up front that someone has to unlock to get to the massage rooms. Strip naked and put the towel on yourself. And just wait for the words "turn over. ".

[GmJuan]

Looking for the best spot to get a decent massage and a HJ. My expectations are pretty low as it will be first time so looks don't matter too much since I'll be excited as fuck. Noob friendly places?

Thanks!

[LAKoreanMonger]

Anyone got a good MP spot that has pretty latinas?

I have had disinterested sessions with Latinas in the area, they don't usually seem to care.

[PlayerN818]

I have to agree with you on this one. I'm even hesitant to pay MP girls via electronics payments. Hence they have my cell phone number and real name and usually what follows with that is a picture of you on their phone. If LE ever gets a hold of that phone they will be making a phone call to you or me or anyone else on her phone for a statement and bank records.

Call me paranoid (Okay, You're paranoid!) but:

Data base hack? Something happened to one of the girls and there is an investigation?

Cash, masks, and a worry free drive home.

[Christophe1]

Fellow Massage Lovers.

Who was that guy that visited a West side location on Sunday and interrupted my lunch? Gilfy said that you requested for me to be the first of the day to run the front and back course. Just want to say, thank you! She said, you like to hear what's going on, so we did the PSE and I got all a-hole in 1. Left it creamy for you. I didn't know the old gal had it in her. We literally banged the massage table across the floor as I tested the front and back course repeatedly.

Hope it helped.

[FishyHunter]

Yeah. I'm there too. It's in their interest to maintain discretion and confidentiality. But it's also in their interest to cooperate for a lower sentence and turn over all their records. I don't think I'll be giving anyone my personal info and a record of my indiscretions.

So. Back to the aamp hag shack lottery I go.

I have to agree with you on this one. I'm even hesitant to pay MP girls via electronics payments. Hence they have my cell phone number and real name and usually what follows with that is a picture of you on their phone. If LE ever gets a hold of that phone they will be making a phone call to you or me or anyone else on her phone for a statement and bank records.

[Murrican]

Wow. That's a lot of info for a hobby best kept anonymous.

Yeah. I'm there too. It's in their interest to maintain discretion and confidentiality. But it's also in their interest to cooperate for a lower sentence and turn over all their records. I don't think I'll be giving anyone my personal info and a record of my indiscretions.

So. Back to the aamp hag shack lottery I go.

[PlayerN818]

The verifying process is not that hard and I appreciate that they have alternatives other than references. Just moved to LA from a dry land and is relatively new in this area. Contact lakangels and was asked to provide name, age, race, phone number, and 2 references.

As I do not have recent reference, I was asked to provided Humaniplex handle, and a login screen shot, and a photo taken in the day with date on the photo, then they let me in and made the first appointment.

Enjoy.

Wow. That's a lot of info for a hobby best kept anonymous.

[Jude Bright]

Fair enough.

I've been wanting to get into the KGirl game. The girls seem much hotter and younger, unless people exaggerate the truth on the internet, which never happens of course.

You know how to get into that game? My understanding is you can't just call and make an appointment. They need to vet you somehow.

The verifying process is not that hard and I appreciate that they have alternatives other than references. Just moved to LA from a dry land and is relatively new in this area. Contact lakangels and was asked to provide name, age, race, phone number, and 2 references.

As I do not have recent reference, I was asked to provided Humaniplex handle, and a login screen shot, and a photo taken in the day with date on the photo, then they let me in and made the first appointment.

Enjoy.

[Fruit Cake]

Anyone got a good MP spot that has pretty latinas?

[PriscillaM]

Fair enough.

I've been wanting to get into the KGirl game. The girls seem much hotter and younger, unless people exaggerate the truth on the internet, which never happens of course.

You know how to get into that game? My understanding is you can't just call and make an appointment. They need to vet you somehow.

First off, I would encourage you to not use the k girl option. The pictures are all fake, the mongers are all completely beholden. Kind of like our media. Instead of having a state run media, we have a media run state. Read the reviews and set your expectations completey to zero.

That being said, if you want to joint the NPC crowd, you need to get an in with the bookers. I cannot speak with expertise on whether joining humaniplex / here are our server logs mr. Us attorney will help you. There apparently is an asian tranche at that travesty. To get in, you should just start mass texting all of them. They will want your I'd. Do not even bother to argue out of it based on your employment with the CIA, FBI, cleveland browns, or kroger. You have to give them your I'd. I think I texted like 6 of them and only got responses from two. It was I think ktwownescort, sweetasiangem and now I get texts from 2pop.net. Once you get a green light, you will be given the address of a building in k town with no parking or a building on sawtelle in west la where the bedroom carpet has burn marks from the traction of monger's bare feet.

You will then either do what I did, give a great review about how fun it was to shower with an asian woman that looks like she came over on the mayflower, hoping that the next girl will be better. At some point you will just give up. The only excpetion ever was this girl at parkasian in 2006 who was actually from roanoake or norfolk virginia.

[PropLA]

Yes, this is the spa on Huntington. It's been a reliable spot in the past, but not the other night. What gives?

Is this the Angel on huntington?