Escort Reports

**Coochie Eater** · 06-04-13 10:47

Big tits? Sure I like them, who doesn't? Big round booty? Of course! Can't get enough! Clean, tasty cooter? Man, I'm there.

But, HOLY FUCKING SHIT THE BED! I think I've found my perfect girl!

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Now just so you know, she has big tits and a big round booty too.

Digits for seniors and traders.

Cooch.

God bless you all.

**NewAgain** · 10-27-12 14:43

Nuguy ventured west from the New England area. Was feeling stressed looking for a smaller bbw that supposedly like to kiss and cuddle. Big freaking mistake. Cuddle doesn't do either. Was talking a mile a minute, rambling etc. Most likely could have done a decent BBBJ, as soon as she started that, then went to put on the shield, her rambling made Nuguy JR go away. Had to go through it again for the shield to stay. The southern regions had a not horrible, but not freshly clean smell. Ended up doggy just to get it over with, and the 30 min apt took all of about 15. Do not call this girl, she claims she runs 5 girls out of her house, but also says she is moving to Chicago soon. Who the hell knows. Just telling you, don't make the call.

http://madison.backpage.com/FemaleEs...ion-25/6343373

**Howard5354** · 10-07-12 09:46

I made a last minute appointment with her right before she was leaving. Everything was packed. She may return but she is gone. Now I am searching for her replacement. Lexis, her former partner is here, but she is not a viable replacement. I have been knowing M for about two years, have even got a booty call on credit. Any potential candidates?

Originally Posted by Coochie Eater [View Original Post]

Howard, you are absolutely right. Not only stay with the ladies you know, but stay with those that are highly reviewed.

If we could do that, we'd all be sticking with our wives, girlfriends, significant others, nieces, kid's babysitters or whatever. Unfortunately we're mongers. We got to fuck some strange pussy, even if it's just a little stranger than the pussy we just fucked. Take Mercades for example. Is there a cuter girl with a more bangin' body that's freaky, loves what she does and loves what you do? FUCK NO! None, nada, zip, zilch. Once you sample her bodacious booty, lick that delicious coochie, watch her squirt as she cums the 5th time for you, and takes every opportunity to rock your world, why would you ever look anywhere else?

Because you saw the next b1tch in a strip club! Another was walking down Badger with no bra on. Because she posted on backpage using fake pics. Because she WASN'T Mercades.

Don't ask me why I do it, but I believe that's the one constant amongst all mongers. Got to hit the stray stuff. Sure, there may be a few guys out there that stick with one, but I bet they're few and far between as far as hobbyists go. So I'll keep TOFTT and writing about it here.

Cooch.

God bless you all.

PS I'll keep on danglin' my worm in unknown waters hoping to catch the one that got away, but I won't complain that they're using fake pics.

**Howard5354** · 09-04-12 04:59

Originally Posted by Coochie Eater [View Original Post]

Howard, you are absolutely right. Not only stay with the ladies you know, but stay with those that are highly reviewed.

If we could do that, we'd all be sticking with our wives, girlfriends, significant others, nieces, kid's babysitters or whatever. Unfortunately we're mongers. We got to fuck some strange pussy, even if it's just a little stranger than the pussy we just fucked. Take Mercades for example. Is there a cuter girl with a more bangin' body that's freaky, loves what she does and loves what you do? FUCK NO! None, nada, zip, zilch. Once you sample her bodacious booty, lick that delicious coochie, watch her squirt as she cums the 5th time for you, and takes every opportunity to rock your world, why would you ever look anywhere else?

Because you saw the next b1tch in a strip club! Another was walking down Badger with no bra on. Because she posted on backpage using fake pics. Because she WASN'T Mercades.

Don't ask me why I do it, but I believe that's the one constant amongst all mongers. Got to hit the stray stuff. Sure, there may be a few guys out there that stick with one, but I bet they're few and far between as far as hobbyists go. So I'll keep TOFTT and writing about it here.

Cooch.

God bless you all.

PS I'll keep on danglin' my worm in unknown waters hoping to catch the one that got away, but I won't complain that they're using fake pics.

Its in the blood.

**Coochie Eater** · 09-03-12 18:28

Originally Posted by Howard5354 [View Original Post]

Stay with the ladies you know are real and stop trying to find Helen of Troy. Remember, she got the Trojans fucked up.

Howard, you are absolutely right. Not only stay with the ladies you know, but stay with those that are highly reviewed.

If we could do that, we'd all be sticking with our wives, girlfriends, significant others, nieces, kid's babysitters or whatever. Unfortunately we're mongers. We got to fuck some strange pussy, even if it's just a little stranger than the pussy we just fucked. Take Mercades for example. Is there a cuter girl with a more bangin' body that's freaky, loves what she does and loves what you do? FUCK NO! None, nada, zip, zilch. Once you sample her bodacious booty, lick that delicious coochie, watch her squirt as she cums the 5th time for you, and takes every opportunity to rock your world, why would you ever look anywhere else?

Because you saw the next b1tch in a strip club! Another was walking down Badger with no bra on. Because she posted on backpage using fake pics. Because she WASN'T Mercades.

Don't ask me why I do it, but I believe that's the one constant amongst all mongers. Got to hit the stray stuff. Sure, there may be a few guys out there that stick with one, but I bet they're few and far between as far as hobbyists go. So I'll keep TOFTT and writing about it here.

Cooch.

God bless you all.

PS I'll keep on danglin' my worm in unknown waters hoping to catch the one that got away, but I won't complain that they're using fake pics.

**Howard5354** · 09-03-12 05:25

Stay with the ladies you know are real and stop trying to find Helen of Troy. Remember, she got the Trojans fucked up.

Originally Posted by Coochie Eater [View Original Post]

My god! Someone using FAKE PICS on an escort ad? Call the Better Business Bureau or Dunn & Bradstreet and get that wh0re's rating downgraded.

Get the Tineye or Google plug-in. If you can't figure that one out, stop mongering. When you see pics you like, just click on them, and VOILA! A little dialog box jumps up that says "Yep, there's 300 sites with these pics on them" or "Zero other sites." If you get zero, then you know the woman is posting her own pics, or at least has doctored the pics enough to fool Tineye and Google.

Regardless, you call the b1tch up and in your conversation with her, you ask "Are your pics real? " She of course says "YES!" You say,"I'm coming to see you, but if the pics aren't accurate, I'm walking. " She'll then give you some bullshit like "Oh, the pics are me, but their old." or "Yeah, they're me, but I had my hair different." or "The pics are of my sister, but she looks like me."

REMEMBER. The pics could be of her, but if they're 10 years old and 3 babies ago, she aint going to look the same. So again you say,"Whatever, but if these pics aren't accurate, I'm walking. "

Keep in mind that a wh0re knows that when your little head gets in control, your big head might as well be in Little Knife, or Lizard Lick or at home watching TV. So you go to the door with NO MONEY! That's right. NONE! Everything is in the trunk of your car. EVERY FUCKING PENNY.

One of three things will happen:

1. The pics are accurate and she looks great: "Just a sec, I'll be right back! "

2. The pics aren't accurate, but she looks great anyway: "Just a sec, I'll be right back. "

3. The pics aren't accurate, but she looks less than great. Anywhere from not-what-you-expected To Fuck-she-looks-like-my-grandmother-with-her-teeth-out: "Just a sec, I'll be right back. "

If number 3. Occurs, this gives you a chance to walk to your car and do some thinking. Maybe you like fucking your granny, so you get your shit and dive back in. Maybe the fact that she posted fake pics pisses you off, and you jump in your car and take off. You were expecting Cindy Crawford, and this b1tch looks like Angelina Jolie. Fuck that. At least you have time to reconsider. At any rate, no hooker is going to do the deed, then let you leave for cash, so you always have time to let the horniness factor pass.

So stop being pissy about fake pics. Be pissy about something you can control, like this summer's drought or the economy in Greece. It's just like the chat lines. Man, on the phone they all say they look like Beyonce. You get there and Precious answers the door. Learn to deal with it.

**Aczdad** · 09-03-12 00:51

This is a fucking hilarious Mongering 101 from the great Coochie Eater! Thanks dude.

Originally Posted by Coochie Eater [View Original Post]

My god! Someone using FAKE PICS on an escort ad? Call the Better Business Bureau or Dunn & Bradstreet and get that wh0re's rating downgraded.

Get the Tineye or Google plug-in. If you can't figure that one out, stop mongering. When you see pics you like, just click on them, and VOILA! A little dialog box jumps up that says "Yep, there's 300 sites with these pics on them" or "Zero other sites." If you get zero, then you know the woman is posting her own pics, or at least has doctored the pics enough to fool Tineye and Google.

Regardless, you call the b1tch up and in your conversation with her, you ask "Are your pics real? " She of course says "YES!" You say,"I'm coming to see you, but if the pics aren't accurate, I'm walking. " She'll then give you some bullshit like "Oh, the pics are me, but their old." or "Yeah, they're me, but I had my hair different." or "The pics are of my sister, but she looks like me."

REMEMBER. The pics could be of her, but if they're 10 years old and 3 babies ago, she aint going to look the same. So again you say,"Whatever, but if these pics aren't accurate, I'm walking. "

Keep in mind that a wh0re knows that when your little head gets in control, your big head might as well be in Little Knife, or Lizard Lick or at home watching TV. So you go to the door with NO MONEY! That's right. NONE! Everything is in the trunk of your car. EVERY FUCKING PENNY.

One of three things will happen:

1. The pics are accurate and she looks great: "Just a sec, I'll be right back! "

2. The pics aren't accurate, but she looks great anyway: "Just a sec, I'll be right back. "

3. The pics aren't accurate, but she looks less than great. Anywhere from not-what-you-expected To Fuck-she-looks-like-my-grandmother-with-her-teeth-out: "Just a sec, I'll be right back. "

If number 3. Occurs, this gives you a chance to walk to your car and do some thinking. Maybe you like fucking your granny, so you get your shit and dive back in. Maybe the fact that she posted fake pics pisses you off, and you jump in your car and take off. You were expecting Cindy Crawford, and this b1tch looks like Angelina Jolie. Fuck that. At least you have time to reconsider. At any rate, no hooker is going to do the deed, then let you leave for cash, so you always have time to let the horniness factor pass.

So stop being pissy about fake pics. Be pissy about something you can control, like this summer's drought or the economy in Greece. It's just like the chat lines. Man, on the phone they all say they look like Beyonce. You get there and Precious answers the door. Learn to deal with it.

**Coochie Eater** · 09-02-12 16:15

Originally Posted by Gloo 01 [View Original Post]

I told you guys 2 years ago, watch out for fakes. I reported that from wisconsin to texas, the same girl posted her ad and the same message and pictures. She may be houdini but she can't be in 5 states at the same time. If you don't beleive me after going to craigs or backpage just check out other states and see if they are listed there. Suprise. The octopus lady is multitasking.

My god! Someone using FAKE PICS on an escort ad? Call the Better Business Bureau or Dunn & Bradstreet and get that wh0re's rating downgraded.

Get the Tineye or Google plug-in. If you can't figure that one out, stop mongering. When you see pics you like, just click on them, and VOILA! A little dialog box jumps up that says "Yep, there's 300 sites with these pics on them" or "Zero other sites." If you get zero, then you know the woman is posting her own pics, or at least has doctored the pics enough to fool Tineye and Google.

Regardless, you call the b1tch up and in your conversation with her, you ask "Are your pics real? " She of course says "YES!" You say,"I'm coming to see you, but if the pics aren't accurate, I'm walking. " She'll then give you some bullshit like "Oh, the pics are me, but their old." or "Yeah, they're me, but I had my hair different." or "The pics are of my sister, but she looks like me."

REMEMBER. The pics could be of her, but if they're 10 years old and 3 babies ago, she aint going to look the same. So again you say,"Whatever, but if these pics aren't accurate, I'm walking. "

Keep in mind that a wh0re knows that when your little head gets in control, your big head might as well be in Little Knife, or Lizard Lick or at home watching TV. So you go to the door with NO MONEY! That's right. NONE! Everything is in the trunk of your car. EVERY FUCKING PENNY.

One of three things will happen:

1. The pics are accurate and she looks great: "Just a sec, I'll be right back! "

2. The pics aren't accurate, but she looks great anyway: "Just a sec, I'll be right back. "

3. The pics aren't accurate, but she looks less than great. Anywhere from not-what-you-expected To Fuck-she-looks-like-my-grandmother-with-her-teeth-out: "Just a sec, I'll be right back. "

If number 3. Occurs, this gives you a chance to walk to your car and do some thinking. Maybe you like fucking your granny, so you get your shit and dive back in. Maybe the fact that she posted fake pics pisses you off, and you jump in your car and take off. You were expecting Cindy Crawford, and this b1tch looks like Angelina Jolie. Fuck that. At least you have time to reconsider. At any rate, no hooker is going to do the deed, then let you leave for cash, so you always have time to let the horniness factor pass.

So stop being pissy about fake pics. Be pissy about something you can control, like this summer's drought or the economy in Greece. It's just like the chat lines. Man, on the phone they all say they look like Beyonce. You get there and Precious answers the door. Learn to deal with it.

**Sky Flyer** · 09-01-12 22:31

Mercades is still posting on Madison Backpage. Did she decide to stick around?

http://madison.backpage.com/FemaleEscorts/21/5554068

**Gloo 01** · 08-27-12 23:44

I told you guys 2 years ago, watch out for fakes. I reported that from wisconsin to texas, the same girl posted her ad and the same message and pictures. She may be houdini but she can't be in 5 states at the same time. If you don't beleive me after going to craigs or backpage just check out other states and see if they are listed there. Suprise. The octopus lady is multitasking.

**Howard5354** · 08-25-12 21:58

Gabby.

http://madison.backpage.com/FemaleEscorts/5-star-hot-part-time-model-ready-to-play-new-and-hot-limited-time-in-town-26/6566728

The real girl is Jessica Marie

http://h8torade.com/2010/07/29/rando...jessica-marie/

http://h8torade.com/2010/07/29/rando...jessica-marie/

**Howard5354** · 08-25-12 14:59

Originally Posted by Heialak [View Original Post]

How do you know they are fakes?

This is how I know!

Here is your girl on the Don Chavez web site:

http://donchavez.com/blog/2009/12/08...-dress-dumper/

Here is your girl as Valerie:

http://www.**************.com/escort...k-latin-female

Here is your girl as Candy in Texas.

http://www.**************.com/escort...k-white-female

Makayla in North Carolina.

http://www.**************.com/escort...h-white-female

Kendra in Kentucky.

http://www.**************.com/escort...h-white-female

The booty has 37 hits!

**Andy54** · 08-25-12 12:49

Originally Posted by Howard5354 [View Original Post]

Those are fakes.

How do you know they are fakes?

**Howard5354** · 08-24-12 06:05

Originally Posted by Sunsolaris [View Original Post]

Much appreciated for any feedback you be able to provide.

http://madison.backpage.com/FemaleEs...w-o-20/6543741

Those are fakes.

**Andy54** · 08-23-12 11:03

Originally Posted by Torque6969 [View Original Post]

Man, you need to let that ripoff go. It happens in this hobby and I would suggest just learn from it and it should be less likely to happen again in the future.

Why would I let it go? She has promised me a freebie to make up for what her sister did. Not only for me, but to clear her name. Pretty honorable thing to do don't you think? That should show that she is trustworthy. It is her sister that is the crook. I don't want to recommend anyone because apparently I am not the best judge of character.