Massage Parlor Reports

[StarsTunna]

For the most part, AMPs give a crappy to mediocre massage for about 10-15 minutes, then flip over and straight to the main event. LMPs aren't a whole lot different. After 30 years of mongering, the only massages I've had that I'd call a "good" massage were from independents. I used to see a provider in NoHo who gave an hour nude massage in her private apartment. And even that, while being closer to a massage that you'd get in a legit spa, still wasn't what I'd call CMT quality (although it wasn't far off). I'd call it a top notch massage by this hobby's standards, but at the low end for a legit spa that employs CMTs. What I could say about it was it was a nice massage for a full hour from a young pretty blonde who got completely naked right away and finished with sort of a "matter of fact" HJ with limited touching. She'd let me rub her butt while she was finishing but not much more contact than that. I used to enjoy seeing her just for the view and the finish, but she disappeared from the scene years ago.

I'm pretty much over the AMP scene just because they're all pretty much the same drill: 10-15 minutes of crappy to mediocre massage, sometimes a little bit of ball teasing, flip, jackhammer to get you off as quickly as possible, and you're in and out the door in 15 minutes. If I could find someone like my previous NoHo provider I'd be a happy camper. Don't need or want FS, just an unrushed service with an attractive provider who takes everything off.

Thanks, I knew the prices didn't make sense but this lacking service is just backwards. The providers are spoiled and the guys keep coming back for basically nothing.

[Jbjb1983]

Didn't know they reopened them, started my first session at Aroma Thai Spa near SM blvd and Bundy. I got Pia the Tranny! WTF!! Massage was good nice and strong like a dude but I declined a happy ending. Unsatisfied I didn't want to visit Mary that's not to far, so I went to Massage time off Robertson. Got a older fake blonde Asian named Jenny. FS $20. Switch doggy, worst mistake pussy was rancid! Damn! These girls were out so long their pussys were rotting, I guess I got Karma for not going to Mary because I didn't want to risk a smelly pussy because all the loads she takes. Next time I'll stick to Mary at Chen's! I would've continued on my tour but I had to be places.

[Grimmy23]

If you need a finger up the old ass, try the san Fernando valley forum, there is a Tina there who apparently will put her finger, her tongue, and her spare hair dryer up there.

On the west side, try Mary / Jenny (same revolting hag) at Chen's. From the reviews, she lets you stick your dick up her ass, and tell her that you would prefer she stick a finger up yours.

Hmmm, rimjobs are heavenly, but tbh I'm not sure how much I want a girl's tongue up my ass who had her tongue up some other guy's ass 10 minutes ago. And I especially don't want her putting my member in her mouth after having her tongue up some other guy's ass 10 minutes ago. I used to get rimjobs all the time when I traveled to Shanghai on business, but there they make both you and the girl brush your teeth and rinse with a special mouthwash right before the service, and the girl spends a good 30 minutes giving you a sponge bath that includes her thoroughly scrubbing your asshole with soap and water before it gets to that point (god I miss those days. There's nothing anywhere remotely close to the Shanghai sauna experience around here). You sit in a chair that has a split seat so she has full access to all of the crevices. I always felt pretty safe there.

I've only seen 3 providers ever who gave a proper prostate massage, and by proper prostate massage I mean not just shoving a finger in and wiggling it around, I mean actually massaging the prostate until you have an orgasm from it. One of those was in Shanghai. A girl I used to have come to my hotel room. One was Christy, the Scandinavian in Anaheim who did a good job with the prostate and provided unrushed service, but is grossly overweight and spends the session talking about bizarre conspiracy theories, and the other was Zelda who gives an absolutely amazing, mind blowing prostate massage, but is in her mid-50's and not attractive (but worth visiting just for the experience). I've seen plenty of others that just shoved a finger in and called it prostate massage, but once you've had it properly done there's no going back.

[PriscillaM]

I've been craving a good prostate massage lately. Does anyone know of any providers who do that service? Preferably someone reasonably attractive who takes most or all of her clothes off? I've seen Zelda (the OC Walnutsaver) a couple times. She really knows how to get a guy off and gave me the biggest, hardest orgasm I've had in my life, but she's "different" to say the least. She's in her 50's, not that attractive, and she doesn't remove any clothing (nor do you really want her to). Seeing her is more of a clinical experience, but OMG if you want to cum so hard that you have to lay there another 10 minutes before you can get back up on your feet, she's the one to see. I've seen Christy / Kastina (Scandinavian women in Anaheim who advertises on Bedpage). She does a decent prostate job but she's unattractive and a little wacko. A number of people have told me about Chantara but she's apparently not taking new clients.

If you need a finger up the old ass, try the san Fernando valley forum, there is a Tina there who apparently will put her finger, her tongue, and her spare hair dryer up there.

On the west side, try Mary / Jenny (same revolting hag) at Chen's. From the reviews, she lets you stick your dick up her ass, and tell her that you would prefer she stick a finger up yours.

[DannyFknKay]

Aren't you thinking of WeHo Jenny at Chen's as Mary?

This is definitely a different Jenny, perhaps even a Jennifer, and not a Jenny at all. I can't remember her exact name. I've seen both this Jenny / Jennifer and WeHo Jenny / Mary. I saw this one at True Life. She is similar in age but a BBJCIM specialist vs the BBGreek specialty of WeHo.

It's not that critical. I just thought I read something on here that she was back and I was going to be in that area and thought I'd swing by for a quick BBJCIM.

[Grimmy23]

I've been craving a good prostate massage lately. Does anyone know of any providers who do that service? Preferably someone reasonably attractive who takes most or all of her clothes off? I've seen Zelda (the OC Walnutsaver) a couple times. She really knows how to get a guy off and gave me the biggest, hardest orgasm I've had in my life, but she's "different" to say the least. She's in her 50's, not that attractive, and she doesn't remove any clothing (nor do you really want her to). Seeing her is more of a clinical experience, but OMG if you want to cum so hard that you have to lay there another 10 minutes before you can get back up on your feet, she's the one to see. I've seen Christy / Kastina (Scandinavian women in Anaheim who advertises on Bedpage). She does a decent prostate job but she's unattractive and a little wacko. A number of people have told me about Chantara but she's apparently not taking new clients.

[Grimmy23]

Hello everyone,

Are there any places with excellent service all around, or are they all just overpriced one trick poneys that don't even give a massage beforehand?

For the most part, AMPs give a crappy to mediocre massage for about 10-15 minutes, then flip over and straight to the main event. LMPs aren't a whole lot different. After 30 years of mongering, the only massages I've had that I'd call a "good" massage were from independents. I used to see a provider in NoHo who gave an hour nude massage in her private apartment. And even that, while being closer to a massage that you'd get in a legit spa, still wasn't what I'd call CMT quality (although it wasn't far off). I'd call it a top notch massage by this hobby's standards, but at the low end for a legit spa that employs CMTs. What I could say about it was it was a nice massage for a full hour from a young pretty blonde who got completely naked right away and finished with sort of a "matter of fact" HJ with limited touching. She'd let me rub her butt while she was finishing but not much more contact than that. I used to enjoy seeing her just for the view and the finish, but she disappeared from the scene years ago.

I'm pretty much over the AMP scene just because they're all pretty much the same drill: 10-15 minutes of crappy to mediocre massage, sometimes a little bit of ball teasing, flip, jackhammer to get you off as quickly as possible, and you're in and out the door in 15 minutes. If I could find someone like my previous NoHo provider I'd be a happy camper. Don't need or want FS, just an unrushed service with an attractive provider who takes everything off.

[StarsTunna]

Hello everyone,

Are there any places with excellent service all around, or are they all just overpriced one trick poneys that don't even give a massage beforehand?

[PriscillaM]

Thank you all for taking up my recommendation, she is basically never available.

[PriscillaM]

The fucking levels of service and the labels for each are hilarious.

How much for a hand job? How much for penis in vagina?

There are levels of girls here - 1 and 2 it is 245 for a handie. 3 and up is 255. Some ask for more money. There is a tantra option which just means you get to sit across from the girl with her covered pussy about 20 centimeters from your dick to start the sesh. Not worth it.

There is no fucking. That is reserved for the girl's loser boyfriends who are unemployed in the field, being in a band, smoking weed, or robbing a bank on a vespa.

They keep their panties on and they do not suck dick.

This is not a Rosemead cumdump. It is high end fuckery ripoff stuff for us westside plebs who can pay 250 and up for a weak handbook.

[JuJu256]

Is it true that Coco Aroma closed down?

[Dlee9753]

Right now temple of bliss has some absolute fucken hogs. You will not find a more wretched hive of scum and villany. That being said, here are the jedis:

https://templeofbliss.com/therapists/lucy-luv/

I have to laugh at her resume. Essentially, she has been eating kale for over a decade. But her bullshit history of organic living is insignificant next to the power of the force in her handjobs. She uses her great tits. Probably not organic. To get you off. She is smooth and has a great fucken body.

https://templeofbliss.com/therapists/leela-suri/

If ever there will be peace in the middle east, this Arabic pixie is the one. Puffy nipples, great movements on the handjob, and a fantastic slim body. Consistently has me shooting the moon.

https://templeofbliss.com/therapists/isabella-moon/

The only bat orchid in a sea of lilies. Has a shit attitude, but the body makes up for it.

https://templeofbliss.com/therapists/tiana-moon/

Has a very poor deportment. I am guessing she is kind of not happy about having to give handjobs to older men given her delusions of self beauty. But her body and tits are good.

The rest of the bunch are for shit.

The fucking levels of service and the labels for each are hilarious.

How much for a hand job? How much for penis in vagina?

[Ydi77]

Right now temple of bliss has some absolute fucken hogs. You will not find a more wretched hive of scum and villany. That being said, here are the jedis:

https://templeofbliss.com/therapists/lucy-luv/

I have to laugh at her resume. Essentially, she has been eating kale for over a decade. But her bullshit history of organic living is insignificant next to the power of the force in her handjobs. She uses her great tits. Probably not organic. To get you off. She is smooth and has a great fucken body.

https://templeofbliss.com/therapists/leela-suri/

If ever there will be peace in the middle east, this Arabic pixie is the one. Puffy nipples, great movements on the handjob, and a fantastic slim body. Consistently has me shooting the moon.

https://templeofbliss.com/therapists/isabella-moon/

The only bat orchid in a sea of lilies. Has a shit attitude, but the body makes up for it.

https://templeofbliss.com/therapists/tiana-moon/

Has a very poor deportment. I am guessing she is kind of not happy about having to give handjobs to older men given her delusions of self beauty. But her body and tits are good.

The rest of the bunch are for shit.

I second what is said about Lucy. Expensive, but excellent.

[PriscillaM]

Right now temple of bliss has some absolute fucken hogs. You will not find a more wretched hive of scum and villany. That being said, here are the jedis:

https://templeofbliss.com/therapists/lucy-luv/

I have to laugh at her resume. Essentially, she has been eating kale for over a decade. But her bullshit history of organic living is insignificant next to the power of the force in her handjobs. She uses her great tits. Probably not organic. To get you off. She is smooth and has a great fucken body.

https://templeofbliss.com/therapists/leela-suri/

If ever there will be peace in the middle east, this Arabic pixie is the one. Puffy nipples, great movements on the handjob, and a fantastic slim body. Consistently has me shooting the moon.

https://templeofbliss.com/therapists/isabella-moon/

The only bat orchid in a sea of lilies. Has a shit attitude, but the body makes up for it.

https://templeofbliss.com/therapists/tiana-moon/

Has a very poor deportment. I am guessing she is kind of not happy about having to give handjobs to older men given her delusions of self beauty. But her body and tits are good.

The rest of the bunch are for shit.

[Hofi35]

It happened once. I didn't believe any of it, and nothing happened. Don't worry, they're scammers. I'm just getting sick of the scam texts and emails. Fuck all the scammers. I hate my time being wasted by morons who send me texts that my Amazon account has been hacked or that I can get extended warranty coverage on my car. I get at least 10 scam texts a day and my phone company says nothing can be done. I've blocked the numbers and they just keep coming. How the fuck do they get my number?

Once you put your number on the internet, let say to get auto insurance quote for example, it's there for anyone to use. I've made that mistake once, got avalanche of calls and messages from all kinds of scammers. Had some fun with them first, got bored, try to block them, didn't work. Then got my number registered with something like "national donotcall list" and it stopped. Don't know about emails though. Those I just delete without opening them.