"Sugarbabies" / "Arrangements" Amateurs or Not?

[JustLonely]

Seems a little blunt but fun, Anyone?. https://www.seeking.com/member/1f1cd...7-0b45be96f605.

She has been around for a couple of years under various names.

A little too GPS when I contacted her last year.

[BStreet]

Seems a little blunt but fun, Anyone?. https://www.seeking.com/member/1f1cd...7-0b45be96f605.

[DirtyDeeds38]

Sure, I'll bite.

Let me start by saying this: Contrary to popular belief, not every girl on SA is on the site to get paid for sex. There are a lot of young women out there who are tired of dating immature guys their own age who don't have a clue how to treat a woman. For many of these girls, the idea of a "sugardaddy" is more about having an older, successful boyfriend that treats them well, mentors them, helps them figure life out, etc. Much more than it is the pay-to-play scenario so many of you assume. These are the girls I look for.

For context, I am married and locked in at home until my kids are older. I signed up for SA because I want the attention and affection of a part time girlfriend. I'm not interested in a pay-to-play transactional arrangement, I actually want a real relationship, or something very close to it. I've been lucky to have some extremely good experiences over the years.

My most recent relationship was with a girl I met on SA, I was 41 and she was 21. She was new to the site and I was the first guy she met. She disliked the term "sugarbaby" and didn't want money or any type of arrangement per se. She just wanted an older guy in her life that would help her and guide her. On our first date she told me she could never be exclusive to a married man, and for my part I told her I wouldn't get divorced until my kids were older. 4 weeks later she changed her mind. 4 years later, I changed mine.

We had incredible chemistry and an amazing connection right from the beginning. It was the type of effortless first date we all dream of, everything just fell into place and it just got better from there. The first year or so we kept everything very simple, casual and fun. I remember thinking how impressed I was that she didn't lose her perspective, we were exclusive to each other but she didn't get too emotionally attached. She honestly had a very mature outlook on it all. We both knew our relationship was never going to have a happy ending, but we were both happy and content to enjoy the ride as long as it lasted. She was an absolute go-getter, she worked very hard and soaked up the advice and guidance I gave her like a sponge. I taught her how to budget, I helped her pay off her credit card debt, I helped her with academic decisions and school projects, I helped her put herself in position for promotions at work and advance her career. All of which I found very rewarding, and she was always very good about expressing her appreciation of my efforts in ways that were very meaningful to me. Now just because we didn't have an "arrangement" doesn't mean I didn't contribute funds, because I most certainly did when times were tough for her. But in the grand scheme of things, it really wasn't much.

She lived about 2 hours from me, which was just about perfect. Not too close, not too far away. I would visit her for overnights when I was meeting with clients in her area, and it wasn't uncommon for us to meet halfway whenever we wanted to see each other outside of our regular weekly overnight dates. Over the course of our 4+ years together we spent the night together at least once a week for the entire stretch.

As far as the relationship goes, the first year was very casual. In our second year we started to get more emotionally involved, but we talked about it often and helped each other keep everything in check. We agreed that when the end did come, we would handle it with care and respect. As time went on I was concerned that I was keeping her off the market too long during the prime years of her life, but she always assured me that she was very happy and didn't want to be with anyone else. She promised she'd let me know if that changed. Two years turned into three and we continued to get more serious, we spent more time together and took several vacations together. In our fourth year everything changed. We were both extremely happy and started talking about what a life together might look like. By this time she was 25, we were very close, very much a team together and constantly motivating each other to be our best. She was young and vivacious, had an amazing spirit and took great care of me. From the beginning she gave me the best sex of my life, and right up to the end it kept getting better and better. It was honestly the best relationship I had ever been in, bar none. And I say that having enjoyed some really good relationships over the years.

Alas, all good things must come to an end. Eventually, after much discussion, she decided that it would be best if she found someone closer to her own age that could give her the more traditional life she had always dreamed of. She left the door open to something down the road, but said she knew she'd regret it if she didn't try. I couldn't blame her, and honestly, it was the right decision for her. I was still married after all. So toward the end of our fourth year together we spent several months working on our bucket list, doing those things we had always talked about but never gotten around to. I even took her to Paris for a week to celebrate our relationship, which was absolutely the trip of a lifetime. About a month after we got back we made plans for our last date; we went to the same restaurant where we had our first date and sat at the same table. It was bittersweet for sure. Afterwards we spent one last amazing night together and said our goodbyes in the morning. That was 7 months ago. We're still in touch, in fact we recently met for lunch to catch up. I do wish things were different. In another life we would have been extremely good together. But I admire her resolve. I don't think there are many girls her age who would be able to walk away from what we had together. I really respect that.

Some of you will ridicule the idea of getting seriously involved with a girl you meet on SA. For most girls on there, and certainly those offering pay-per-date arrangements, I would absolutely agree. It should be obvious that this was a very different situation, and even then my girl was the rarest of unicorns. But going back to the original question, my experience is proof positive that real relationships can and do happen. I found an amazing woman and had a better experience than I ever thought would have been possible. My bowl brother and I talk often about the importance of making great memories. I've been very fortunate to make more than my fair share.

I've been exactly where you are and done that. The first SB was over two years and turned real relationship. However, you have to keep in mind, the reality is, that when we are say under maybe age 55, we can still perform, keep up and revisit long lost things from our youth through these girls. But lets say you're 41 and she 21; The example you gave. You can still keep up now, but in 10-15 years from now, you really aren't going to anymore. That is just the sad reality of aging. She will still be a young, hot, early 30's thing and you will be the old man. She will stray and you'll be left holding the bag. The sad reality of sugar dating is while it allows us to revisit our youth, or in my case, have the youth I never experienced when I was younger, it will end. It will somehow, someway always end. Most of the girls I've developed feelings with, or opened up to, get attached. And I mean seriously attached. They are needing something in their lives, or to be able to understand something about their lives and I gave them that. This was some eight years back now, when I started in the bowl. But as I've aged in the past eight years, I've realized those days needed to end. I do not open up and get close to any of them anymore. I'm standoffish as I've accepted the reality that this is a fantasy, maybe just for me, maybe for her as well, but it's not going anywhere.

I was where you are now. Early 40's new to the bowl, going out on real dates, making out in public, having sex in the bathroom with these girls, in my car in the downtown parking garage, getting shit faced drunk at the college bars, her showing me off to her friends, etc. I got to do the thing sI never did in my twenties and it was amazing. But those times are behind me as I've gotten older. So if you're able to still be in that zone with your babies? Enjoy it man, cause it don't last forever. Now, for me? I'm still the different SD to most of the girls I hang with. They open up to me, we snuggle, we fuck we might have dinner, but the idea that she views me as, "maybe this guy could really be something?" Well, those days are now passing me by.

[PartyTimeGuy]

I have found video is my favorite keep sake. Is that something you do as well?

Yes. I take vids as well as still pics.

[Sterling44]

She is not fake. But she does have massive GPS. I almost pulled the trigger once but after me agreeing to 7 she told me she would only hang for 30-45 min AND wanted to Uber her to the hotel lmao. At that point I said F this.

She's definitely not a fake, but she is expensive.

[Truncated]

Why don't you just send money from your regular PayPal account to your sugar account?

If you do that often enough, you'll get both PP accounts suspended.

[RavensFan2012]

Fake, fake fake fake.

She is not fake. But she does have massive GPS. I almost pulled the trigger once but after me agreeing to 7 she told me she would only hang for 30-45 min AND wanted to Uber her to the hotel lmao. At that point I said F this.

[HabsBurg]

How do you mean that? I have been on the PayPal site, I don't see Bitcoin as one of the methods of payment taken. The SB doesn't have bitcoin, she has PayPal, I really do need to get the $ onto my sugar PayPal account, as I said.

Why don't you just send money from your regular PayPal account to your sugar account?

[TopGun9]

Are you fully locked out? Or just that account? In other words, can you make a different gmail and use voice?

Still able to access gmail. Locked out on Google voice.

[FarFarAway]

100% anonymous, takes a few minutes to setup then it's a breeze.

How do you mean that? I have been on the PayPal site, I don't see Bitcoin as one of the methods of payment taken. The SB doesn't have bitcoin, she has PayPal, I really do need to get the $ onto my sugar PayPal account, as I said.

[EvilTmp]

So you steal from them and see if they complain?

Not cool!

That statement makes sense if you're only seeing pros. I'm not judging but I stay far, far away from pros or volume girls on SA. It's obviously not what we're talking about here. Like the old saying goes, your experience in the bowl is what you make of it. You go looking for pros and that's what you get. You go looking for something deeper and that's what you'll also get!

[Madaboutmax]

I've had 3 long term relationships with girls I met off of SA that evolved into boyfriend / girlfriend relationships. One lasted 4+ years and we lived together for 2+ years. I'm divorced and more than twice her age.

We recently split because she was pushing for marriage and kids. I've already been there and done that so it's not something I'm ready for. We still talk daily and see each other occasionally.

I remain friends and talk to several girls from SA and strip clubs that I've known for 9+ years.

Sure, I'll bite.

Let me start by saying this: Contrary to popular belief, not every girl on SA is on the site to get paid for sex. There are a lot of young women out there who are tired of dating immature guys their own age who don't have a clue how to treat a woman. For many of these girls, the idea of a "sugardaddy" is more about having an older, successful boyfriend that treats them well, mentors them, helps them figure life out, etc. Much more than it is the pay-to-play scenario so many of you assume. These are the girls I look for.

For context, I am married and locked in at home until my kids are older. I signed up for SA because I want the attention and affection of a part time girlfriend. I'm not interested in a pay-to-play transactional arrangement, I actually want a real relationship, or something very close to it. I've been lucky to have some extremely good experiences over the years.

My most recent relationship was with a girl I met on SA, I was 41 and she was 21. She was new to the site and I was the first guy she met. She disliked the term "sugarbaby" and didn't want money or any type of arrangement per se. She just wanted an older guy in her life that would help her and guide her. On our first date she told me she could never be exclusive to a married man, and for my part I told her I wouldn't get divorced until my kids were older. 4 weeks later she changed her mind. 4 years later, I changed mine.

We had incredible chemistry and an amazing connection right from the beginning. It was the type of effortless first date we all dream of, everything just fell into place and it just got better from there. The first year or so we kept everything very simple, casual and fun. I remember thinking how impressed I was that she didn't lose her perspective, we were exclusive to each other but she didn't get too emotionally attached. She honestly had a very mature outlook on it all. We both knew our relationship was never going to have a happy ending, but we were both happy and content to enjoy the ride as long as it lasted. She was an absolute go-getter, she worked very hard and soaked up the advice and guidance I gave her like a sponge. I taught her how to budget, I helped her pay off her credit card debt, I helped her with academic decisions and school projects, I helped her put herself in position for promotions at work and advance her career. All of which I found very rewarding, and she was always very good about expressing her appreciation of my efforts in ways that were very meaningful to me. Now just because we didn't have an "arrangement" doesn't mean I didn't contribute funds, because I most certainly did when times were tough for her. But in the grand scheme of things, it really wasn't much.

She lived about 2 hours from me, which was just about perfect. Not too close, not too far away. I would visit her for overnights when I was meeting with clients in her area, and it wasn't uncommon for us to meet halfway whenever we wanted to see each other outside of our regular weekly overnight dates. Over the course of our 4+ years together we spent the night together at least once a week for the entire stretch.

As far as the relationship goes, the first year was very casual. In our second year we started to get more emotionally involved, but we talked about it often and helped each other keep everything in check. We agreed that when the end did come, we would handle it with care and respect. As time went on I was concerned that I was keeping her off the market too long during the prime years of her life, but she always assured me that she was very happy and didn't want to be with anyone else. She promised she'd let me know if that changed. Two years turned into three and we continued to get more serious, we spent more time together and took several vacations together. In our fourth year everything changed. We were both extremely happy and started talking about what a life together might look like. By this time she was 25, we were very close, very much a team together and constantly motivating each other to be our best. She was young and vivacious, had an amazing spirit and took great care of me. From the beginning she gave me the best sex of my life, and right up to the end it kept getting better and better. It was honestly the best relationship I had ever been in, bar none. And I say that having enjoyed some really good relationships over the years.

Alas, all good things must come to an end. Eventually, after much discussion, she decided that it would be best if she found someone closer to her own age that could give her the more traditional life she had always dreamed of. She left the door open to something down the road, but said she knew she'd regret it if she didn't try. I couldn't blame her, and honestly, it was the right decision for her. I was still married after all. So toward the end of our fourth year together we spent several months working on our bucket list, doing those things we had always talked about but never gotten around to. I even took her to Paris for a week to celebrate our relationship, which was absolutely the trip of a lifetime. About a month after we got back we made plans for our last date; we went to the same restaurant where we had our first date and sat at the same table. It was bittersweet for sure. Afterwards we spent one last amazing night together and said our goodbyes in the morning. That was 7 months ago. We're still in touch, in fact we recently met for lunch to catch up. I do wish things were different. In another life we would have been extremely good together. But I admire her resolve. I don't think there are many girls her age who would be able to walk away from what we had together. I really respect that.

Some of you will ridicule the idea of getting seriously involved with a girl you meet on SA. For most girls on there, and certainly those offering pay-per-date arrangements, I would absolutely agree. It should be obvious that this was a very different situation, and even then my girl was the rarest of unicorns. But going back to the original question, my experience is proof positive that real relationships can and do happen. I found an amazing woman and had a better experience than I ever thought would have been possible. My bowl brother and I talk often about the importance of making great memories. I've been very fortunate to make more than my fair share.

[Madaboutmax]

So you steal from them and see if they complain?

Not cool!

Something I've done in the past is simply stop gifting after the dead. Not asking ahead of time if it's ok, not making any excuses, just spend a great evening and then go home.

I never give big amounts so I always know the girl must be into me somewhat because I'll never be a big spender. If after a couple of times of gifting to a girl I can tell the chemistry is there, I simply stop the sugar. So far my instincts have been 100% correct. Not a word of it is mentioned and we keep seeing each other. Doesn't mean it's free. I still pay for outings, small gifts, bottles of wine, etc. I would not try this with any girl on the site though.

I realize this applies to a very small minority of girls on SA, those that are really into older guys and love to have a daddy in their lives: in particular, me.

[Truncated]

Thanks for the heads up. I have four other texting / calling apps on my phone. If I didn't see this & got locked out I would have lost a lot of valuable info. I suggest anyone else that relies on GV capture numbers that you don't want to lose, just in case.

I did a search & didn't see anything about them policing or restricting users. May just not be public knowledge yet?

I'm sure google uses their data to try to prevent sex trafficking. If they sense enough common links to an account related to others who may be involved in sex work, they block them out of caution.

I don't think this is anything new.

[Truncated]

I would like current info on this. Anyone have experience? From time to time, I have needed to send $ electronically to a SB, for whatever reason. I have a PayPal account I set up under my sugar email quite a while ago. I don't think you would even be able to do that these days, without a verified address or bank account for example, but I think I got grandfathered in. I haven't done significant suspicious transactions, so it still is open.

What I wish to do is tie a prepaid debit card, of the type we usually use, VanillaGift, OneVanilla Visa, or Amex Gift, to the account and use it to transfer the $ discreetly, without risking any electronic breadcrumbs that could come back to me personally. I have tried two different cards in the past 24 hours, neither worked. I'd like to know other's experience, and / or a workaround.

Get a PayPal gift card, then add it to your PP account. Repeat as needed.

My local Wal Mart sells them in that big rack of gift cards near the cash registers.