"Sugarbabies" / "Arrangements" Amateurs or Not?

[FruitNinja]

I don't even deal with the 35+ crowd of ladies in the bowl. While there are definitely exceptions, I find them to generally be delusional and angry people. They seem to try to counteract the the loss of value and diminished beauty brought by aging by trying to pretend that their age / experience somehow makes them better than their competition.

In terms of sugar dating, 30 is about the cut off date for me but I generally look for 18-25 year olds. Between 25-30 they get very relationship minded and that can lead to a lot of clingy behavior.

18-25 is the sweet spot. I'm seeing a 30 year old and she is amazing in bed. All she want's to do is please me. Problem is, she's always either drinking or smoking pot, and going off on these tangents where all I want to say is shut the fuck up. She owns two businesses and is about the most neurotic person I've ever met. The young ones want to please because of daddy issues but they are still a fresh canvas and very malleable.

[JZLizard]

Tried to message you JR but said you were full.

Yeah, I get so many PMs that I just stopped dealing with them at all. Best to just post comments here.

[IbDaddy]

Traveling is an example, but the type of travel they would consider spoiling is taking her somewhere she specifically wants to go as opposed to traveling somewhere you were already headed anyway (i.e. special trip for her entertainment).

Other common examples are taking her shopping, suffering through a movie you didn't want to see but she did, taking her on some activity that she's always wanted to do but never had the chance. I rarely actually do anything like this, I'm just saying this is what many of them consider being spoiled. Basically anything that you don't really want to do, and probably 99% of other men don't, but she does. Just think of things a father would do for his daughter on her birthday, anything that fills in the blank there would be an example.

Then there is the method of making them feel special through words and every day actions. This is just a learned skill. It's a fine balancing act that involves never relinquishing your dominance, while making her feel she is extraordinarily special. Just think of how a good father would act with his daughter -- she can't make the rules, and she can't act up without discipline, and he is in charge of everything but she receives his constant adoration. That's what most of the ones I meet are looking for, the strong but adoring dad they never had.

That last paragraph is where my specialty is. I don't take them on expensive trips or to ballgames or concerts or anything like that.

Tried to message you JR but said you were full.

[JZLizard]

Would it include travel or being together in public as in normal dating not an option for those of us with SOs! If it is just talking or otherwise being together in semi-private (parks etc.) places then yes we can do that!

Traveling is an example, but the type of travel they would consider spoiling is taking her somewhere she specifically wants to go as opposed to traveling somewhere you were already headed anyway (i.e. special trip for her entertainment).

Other common examples are taking her shopping, suffering through a movie you didn't want to see but she did, taking her on some activity that she's always wanted to do but never had the chance. I rarely actually do anything like this, I'm just saying this is what many of them consider being spoiled. Basically anything that you don't really want to do, and probably 99% of other men don't, but she does. Just think of things a father would do for his daughter on her birthday, anything that fills in the blank there would be an example.

Then there is the method of making them feel special through words and every day actions. This is just a learned skill. It's a fine balancing act that involves never relinquishing your dominance, while making her feel she is extraordinarily special. Just think of how a good father would act with his daughter -- she can't make the rules, and she can't act up without discipline, and he is in charge of everything but she receives his constant adoration. That's what most of the ones I meet are looking for, the strong but adoring dad they never had.

That last paragraph is where my specialty is. I don't take them on expensive trips or to ballgames or concerts or anything like that.

[JZLizard]

What is the typical age range for this type of SBs? I would guess this may not be true for the older ones ( 35-40) as they likely to be in the bowl only for the $.

I don't even deal with the 35+ crowd of ladies in the bowl. While there are definitely exceptions, I find them to generally be delusional and angry people. They seem to try to counteract the the loss of value and diminished beauty brought by aging by trying to pretend that their age / experience somehow makes them better than their competition.

In terms of sugar dating, 30 is about the cut off date for me but I generally look for 18-25 year olds. Between 25-30 they get very relationship minded and that can lead to a lot of clingy behavior.

[FarFarAway]

Last Halloween SA offered 1/3 off are there other occasions when they run specials? Such as this Valentine's day! This guy recently raised his prices by nearly 30%(70 to 90 for monthly) and removed the separate pricing in the mobile app (week for $35) hence the reluctance to pay full price.

The costs of a SA membership will be a fraction of what you spend on real arrangements, especially if you are trying to dodge a SO. In a month on there you can get enough leads to last for quite a while. I don't have a membership now, I am fishing in some other ponds. There are disadvantages, a lot of crap to sift through, but now and then you find a real gem. I still think SA is the best place to get right to what you are looking for, it's just there's a lot of GPS there too.

[Cephlapod Love]

Last Halloween SA offered 1/3 off are there other occasions when they run specials? Such as this Valentine's day! This guy recently raised his prices by nearly 30%(70 to 90 for monthly) and removed the separate pricing in the mobile app (week for $35) hence the reluctance to pay full price.

Dude is IMHO as greedy and he is savvy. I am sure he realizes that BP got hammered by LE and is now cr at p and other sites have followed that lead (pics & numbers only) as to avoid troubles of their own (or maybe they got hammered too? Thus the number of places where one can look up p*ssy for dating has shrunk, so with his "insulated" site, he thinks he can charge more and get away with it. Lots of guys us SA as a one-off hook up site and not for LT arrangements. Only way to stop that is to quit paying en-mass. THAT or he recognizes that it won't be long before LE and AGs go after his business and he needs to get as much money stick piled before his wings get clipped.

There is always SD4 Me. LOL. But the point is perhaps it is time to find and develop other sites rather than Wade's?

[PghGuy2005]

Last Halloween SA offered 1/3 off are there other occasions when they run specials? Such as this Valentine's day! This guy recently raised his prices by nearly 30%(70 to 90 for monthly) and removed the separate pricing in the mobile app (week for $35) hence the reluctance to pay full price.

[PghGuy2005]

...That is what a lot of these girls are referring to when they say they want "spoiling". They want a strong authority figure to make them feel special, however he does it. Once an SD masters the ability to do this (game, basically), the world is his oyster; women love attention and once you learn how to get in their head you can feed their individual need for attention (each one is different) and they will worship you from that day forward...

Would it include travel or being together in public as in normal dating not an option for those of us with SOs! If it is just talking or otherwise being together in semi-private (parks etc.) places then yes we can do that!

[PghGuy2005]

..She said "I don't think I'm looking for love necessarily, but I'm looking for that feeling of love that I would have had if I had a real father in my life". That is what a lot of these girls are referring to when they say they want "spoiling". They want a strong authority figure to make them feel special, however he does it...

What is the typical age range for this type of SBs? I would guess this may not be true for the older ones ( 35-40) as they likely to be in the bowl only for the $.

[Hungre1234]

I'm sure this has been discussed before but it recently dawned on me to look for an app that hides any social media apps I don't want prying eyes to see. I do use a burner phone but still to cover loose ends I found Apex Launcher though to be effective enough though there are other options. Its an unassuming looking app and where you go to hide other apps isn't where you'd think to look. Obviously if you're dealing with someone tech savvy its not an option but it works in my case.

The other thing I've found is that even though I mute notifications on an app like Kik they still come through. On my droid I have to go into settings, application manager then find the app and manually disable notifications.

[FruitNinja]

Meet this cute 19-year-old Latina. Cute as all Plays water polo for a local university so the body is tight and form. Just perfect. We meet for lunch, and then she wants to go bowling. We get to the bowling thing and I start making out in the car. She has no problem with it. DFK and all. Let's me paw her body without any hesitation. We stop at my house and hang out for a while. Driving her home, we start discussing what we're looking for. We're both on the same page. She says she doesn't sleep with anyone unless it's after five dates. I'm ok with that. She's clearly infatuated with me because I have real life game and she's in love with it. I drop her off at home and we spend 45 minutes talking in front of her parents' house. I barely get home and she's calling me and we talk for another half hour. I ask her who wore the pants in her house and she says her father. I ask her to really think about the question again and she says, "you know, you're right it is my mom. ".

One hitch. She says she's interviewing one other guy for the position. I say whoa! "I'm not interested in getting into a competition with some guy. " I've learned that dating sites are shit because there's always that hope that the next guy or girl will be better, so you / they have a hard time committing on the hope that the next message in the inbox will be Mr. Or Mrs. Perfect. So, I tell her I bring plenty to the table and am not getting into something like this. That was on the ride to her house. Yet she still called me after. She also texted additional pictures.

Not sure how I'll play it but I think I will wait and see if she texts. I'm not texting first. She's a simple girl, 19, never really experienced anything in her life. She's talking about going to see Hamilton. That's a hefty fee for two tickets here in Chicago. She's also a bit of a freak from what she's told me. Yet she has a five-date rule. Sounds to me like she just wants to be shown the town. Interestingly enough she had no problem being touchy feely with a guy almost 3 times her age. In a bowling alley no less. She's a blast but I think she's playing guys just for the adventures. We'll see.

When I got home I facetimed the 24-year-old that I've been doing for a while. The 30-year-old smoking hottie texted me that she got me new sheets for my house at half price from her friend that works at Bloomingdales. I've also got a three-hour fuck date with a 25-year-old spinner for $250.

The one thing that this SA does for sure is take up a lot of time. Fortunately, I have plenty.

[FarFarAway]

Question about Pantydeal -- did the site give you an indication where she was geographically before you contacted her? The first thing that came to my mind (since I'm usually sugaring in select cities) is how do I see the ones within a given travel radius of a particular city? Without that kind of search ability, it would eat up tons of my time.

Yes, that is exactly the problem. Their search function suck. There really is no way (its only by country! I tried searching by state, but there is no way to combine that term with those who check escort. Of course, I am hoping I can turn girls who are near me who aren't necessarily checking that box into become SBs. Anyway, I have a much more limited bowl budget these day, and am trying to stay under the SO radar, so I haven't had a SA profile in 6 months. The alternatives are to fish on CL or similar places. I was led to Pantydeal by a girl I messaged from CL who I never met. It is totally free, and I did find two POTs within driving distance. There are lots of girls trying to make bux selling panties on CL, and they are easy to search for. I just approach them with a 'I might be interested, but. An 'arrangement' is something more fun and rewarding. '

[JZLizard]

I would say about half my babies ended up not really wanting an allowance or much of an allowance and usually fairly quickly into things. For the record, I am near 50 years of age, but like you, have been a fitness guru all my life and could likely pass for 36-38 in most all cases. I was into bodybuilding for years and have a psychic most 20-somethings might envy. Most girls are shocked when my clothes come off and will say things like, and get visibly excited "WTF, I get to fuck a real man, your so sexy, you're older, but like one of those super hot older guys I've fantasized about, you're biggest and strongest guy over been with (not my dick, my body, although that ain't small either. Haha) just random comments every time. It pays to keep yourself up in this game. My real downside is alcohol. I like to drink with these girls and lower both mine and their inhibitions. Better sex, more open, more fun anything goes once they and I are buzzed and for the past few years, I've been drinking a bit excessively because of this. But you know what? There are worse things in life. I never do drugs and I figure this is my one vise.

As for the crazies, I'm working with one who has her PhD. Smart as fuck, but also borderline personality disorder, sees a shrink all week and is legit insane. I have tried to help this girl, but she is not fixable, just a total lost cause, but she is so so so fun in the sack when her insanity does come out with sex. She is open for everything and loves being submissive. Again, I would say most of these girls are at the very lest unstable or they wouldn't be there. That said, it is true, the more crazy, the better the sex and nothing has rang more true in the bowl.

I have made many mistakes in the bowl and cost myself some serious grief over the years, but I would not trade my overall experiences for anything.

I've met some that I didn't see any signs of emotional instability in, but they all definitely have a reason for being in the bowl, and at least in the case of the ones I meet, money is typically not the primary motivator.

It's funny because it seems that SB supply is independent of economic conditions. I've always heard mongers (which I'm not one of. Only been with 2 escorts in my lifetime) say that when the economy is down, escort supply increases and prices go down accordingly. One thing I've noticed is that some of these girls graduate and get nice jobs, but guess what? I don't see any correlation between the bowl and the economy (or employment statistics) at all. In good economic times, I see girls who are gainfully employed looking for the same things the 18 year old college girls want. They still want an SD, because they recognize that life still has it's challenges, even if you can afford your own apartment and car, and that professional life isn't easy for a young attractive female, so they still want help.

One POT I met recently summed it up well when I asked her to tell me what she's really looking for (I sometimes use this question to filter out potential clingers). She said "I don't think I'm looking for love necessarily, but I'm looking for that feeling of love that I would have had if I had a real father in my life". That is what a lot of these girls are referring to when they say they want "spoiling". They want a strong authority figure to make them feel special, however he does it. Once an SD masters the ability to do this (game, basically), the world is his oyster; women love attention and once you learn how to get in their head you can feed their individual need for attention (each one is different) and they will worship you from that day forward. That situation (what that girl said, but sometimes in different words) is more common than the desire for money by a factor of 10 with the SBs I've known.

My observations in those last two paragraphs are something that REALLY differentiate SBs from escorts in my experience with sugar dating.

[JZLizard]

Another example of this. Girls who were adopted. I know a number of psychologists, and they say that being adopted is something most people never get over. It's a very visceral thing to know that your birth parents 'didn't want you', though of course there are many reasons for parents to give a baby up for adoption. For example, I met a POT today. I found her on a site called Pantydeal, it is mostly for girls to sell pics / vids / panties, but they can check off 'escort'. This 19 YO mixed college girl turned out to be local so we did the M&G this morning. I already knew she was smart and mature, but today she mentions both she and her sib were adopted. After the tea, sitting in my car, I ask her about liking 'her man to be in charge in the bedroom', and she readily agreed. A little more chit-chat and I give her a test. I ask her to kiss me, and she readily digs in. IK now this girl has all the makings of a great SB, she'll be submissive and love it. No discussion of allowance, I always defer that as long as possible.

Sometimes I think we should start an alternative thread to discuss possible alternative methods of finding SBs. There have been some good posts here in the past, but those conversations are never easy to find unless indexed. It would be great to know all the things SDs do to find SBs off the beaten path.

One of my favorites is to go SB shopping at strip clubs. These girls are usually fascinated by the idea, and its not uncommon for it to result in takeout that night, or a phone number for another night etc. A lot of them tell me they already had a profile on SA at one time but just didn't find what they were looking for. The reason I like doing this with strippers is that I can see and talk to them first (no worries about catfish or inordinately flattering selfies) so its very time efficient. The only downside is that some of them may expect you to spend a lot of money on them right there in the club if you're an SD, which I personally don't like to do.

Question about Pantydeal -- did the site give you an indication where she was geographically before you contacted her? The first thing that came to my mind (since I'm usually sugaring in select cities) is how do I see the ones within a given travel radius of a particular city? Without that kind of search ability, it would eat up tons of my time.