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  1. #2230

    Funny stuff

    Hey Mondo Badfoot! Look some other guy who reviews Happiness a lot stole your nickname for his cock! See below. What a coincidence?

    Quote Originally Posted by GoldenButcher  [View Original Post]
    Dropped by Happiness the other day to see if anyone wasn't busy. I know, I know, if I had half a brain I would have called ahead and made an appointment, but as my old Grampa used to say, "When the cock gets hard the brain gets soft!" Anyway, I kinda had ShaSha in mind because it's been so long since I spent time with her and she's been looking so very fine lately. But it was not to be. She was just getting dressed to leave- I went through a period of deep depression for about 2 1/2 minutes, then asked mama who else was available. She said, "Let's see, Naomi. ". "OK", I said, "I'm ready!" I forked over my money as she led me to the room. I got undressed, put on the towel and sat on the bed. Two minutes later someone knocked on the door and in rolled Naomi, laughing all the way. She seemed to be very happy to see me, put her arms around me and gave me a huge kiss. She was wearing this skin-tight little lace thing that showed everything she's got to offer. We started to laugh about what good advertising it was for her. Then she demonstrated how guy's eyes moved as they scanned her body when they first meet her. Then I demonstrated how this guys hands moved when they scanned her body! I love how responsive she is, how she really enjoys herself when we play and her great sense of humor! I haven't had so much fun since the pigs ate my sister! The table shower was such a turn on. When she puts on that nuru gel and starts to slide her voluptuous little body all over me, my dick gets so hard that it jumps every time my heart beats. Baby noticed that and slid little Mondo between her titties, then she was sitting up and sliding her little nani back and forth as a smile spread accross her lips, and then, OMG! Junior was sliping into paradise. What could I do? That's right, so I did it- just a few times. With that nuru gel it felt sooo good! She gasped with every thrust, then she jumped off and proceeded to slurp on little Mondo like it was the thing to do. She never broke eye contact which turned me on even more. She kept sucking, long and slow and deep like she wasn't going to stop til I came, but I had other ideas. I slid off the table and sat her down on the edge of the table, lifted her legs over my arms and aimed the sprayer so there was a light stream of water running down her body and over her crotch. I knelt down and very, very softly ran my tongue the length of her pussy. Her eyes got so big- I decided to do it some more! She was so juicy by then, that I was forced to stand up and slide inside. Her eyes really opened wider and she gasped and shook a little as I eased out and back in a few times. She put her arms around my neck and pulled me down for a serious kiss. That did it- we rinsed off and headed back to the room. Once we got there, it all morphed into a sexual blur. We did several positions with lots of DATY, DATO, DT, BBBJ mixed in. This voluptuous little girl is an orgasm machine. She kept repeating "Yes, yes", and, "Oh yes", as we fucked and sucked for nearly an hour. We had so many laughs and so much intense pleasure that I can't exaggerate how exceptional Naomi's service and attitude are. Plus- she is super cute with a killer curvy body!

  2. #2229
    Quote Originally Posted by Memahu  [View Original Post]
    Oh, I feel like Nurse Nancy.


    Two doctors were in a hospital hallway one day complaining about Nurse.
    Nancy. "She's incredibly mixed up," said one doctor. "She does.
    Everything absolutely backwards.
    Just last week, I told her to give a patient 2 milligrams of morphine.
    Every 10 hours. She gave him 10 milligrams every 2 hours. He damn near.
    Died on us!
    The second doctor said, "That's nothing. Earlier this week, I told her.
    To give a patient an enema every 24 hours. She tries to give him 24.
    Enemas in one hour! The guy damn near exploded!
    Suddenly, they hear this bloodcurdling scream from down the hall. "Oh.
    My God! Said the first doctor, "I just realized I told Nurse Nancy to.
    Prick Mr. Smith's boil!
    Haha hahahahaha. That's a good one! ! Love it!

  3. #2228
    Quote Originally Posted by memahu  [View Original Post]
    oh, i feel like nurse nancy.


    Two doctors were in a hospital hallway one day complaining about nurse.
    Nancy. "she's incredibly mixed up," said one doctor. "she does.
    Everything absolutely backwards.
    Just last week, i told her to give a patient 2 milligrams of morphine.
    Every 10 hours. She gave him 10 milligrams every 2 hours. He damn near.
    Died on us!
    The second doctor said, "that's nothing. Earlier this week, i told her.
    To give a patient an enema every 24 hours. She tries to give him 24.
    Enemas in one hour! The guy damn near exploded!
    Suddenly, they hear this bloodcurdling scream from down the hall. "oh.
    My god! Said the first doctor, "i just realized i told nurse nancy to.
    Prick mr. Smith's boil!
    chee hoo lmao!

  4. #2227
    Senior Member


    Posts: 1039
    Quote Originally Posted by Raiden  [View Original Post]
    I'm pretty sure he meant it like as a verb like small poke, prick not the other way.
    Oh, I feel like Nurse Nancy.


    Two doctors were in a hospital hallway one day complaining about Nurse.
    Nancy. "She's incredibly mixed up," said one doctor. "She does.
    Everything absolutely backwards.
    Just last week, I told her to give a patient 2 milligrams of morphine.
    Every 10 hours. She gave him 10 milligrams every 2 hours. He damn near.
    Died on us!
    The second doctor said, "That's nothing. Earlier this week, I told her.
    To give a patient an enema every 24 hours. She tries to give him 24.
    Enemas in one hour! The guy damn near exploded!
    Suddenly, they hear this bloodcurdling scream from down the hall. "Oh.
    My God! Said the first doctor, "I just realized I told Nurse Nancy to.
    Prick Mr. Smith's boil!

  5. #2226
    Quote Originally Posted by Memahu  [View Original Post]
    What was the poipose of using a stereotype racial code of "small prick" to describe her husband? Unless, he's beating her. Then, the "small prick" means he's an Asshole.
    I'm pretty sure he meant it like as a verb like small poke, prick not the other way.

  6. #2225

    I don't think he meant prick as racial slur

    Quote Originally Posted by Memahu  [View Original Post]
    Good story. But, was a racial slur necessary to this story?
    I think he meant that's how the woman he is fucking describes her husbands technique. I've seen this shit on some cheap Japanese porno vids. American style sex is all WHAM WHAM WHAM WHAM but the Japanese sex (I saw) can be like hes just pricking her with his dick. Like the dude is mainly focusing on stimulating the entrance of her vagina so he avoids full penetration and does these mini prick thrust.

    Also I'd like to add a recommendation to ClintonPortis.

    http://sfmadison.com/

  7. #2224
    Senior Member


    Posts: 1039
    Quote Originally Posted by Memahu  [View Original Post]
    As Chris Berman would say, "It's a Fumble" and "Tick, tick, tick, tick, tick. ".
    You betta score as the time clock is running out. "He could go all the wayyyyyy. ".

  8. #2223
    Senior Member


    Posts: 1039
    Quote Originally Posted by JohnRoss  [View Original Post]
    What racial slur?
    What was the poipose of using a stereotype racial code of "small prick" to describe her husband? Unless, he's beating her. Then, the "small prick" means he's an Asshole.

  9. #2222
    Quote Originally Posted by Memahu  [View Original Post]
    Good story. But, was a racial slur necessary to this story?
    What racial slur?

  10. #2221
    Senior Member


    Posts: 1039
    Quote Originally Posted by Poiuy2  [View Original Post]
    Good times with no strings attached sex. I'm headed to meet a girl I met at the Kahala 15 years ago. Saw her last year in Japan. She rocked my world again with all her screaming, iku at least 20-30 times, maybe more. She is taking the day off, dropping her 1 why / o off at the sitters, then meeting me at some hotel. She is really sex deprived. Said her husband only did her once this year. No daty. Just a small prick in and out and done in less than five minutes. I brought two V's with me just in case. If you don't hear back from me on this forum, maybe I o / d on the tablets. Or she is holding me captive. Yen is strong. 118. So good times coming.
    Good story. But, was a racial slur necessary to this story?

  11. #2220
    Senior Member


    Posts: 1039
    Quote Originally Posted by ClintonPortis  [View Original Post]
    I'm currently single again and I would love to try out a SMOKING HOTT provider (white girl Mila levels) that DOESN'T engage in fluid exchange (NO DFK, DATY, BBBJ or BBFS), trustworthy enough to bring to your home and where you don't have to worry about getting blackmailed or getting robbed, and who has "passable" mattress actress skills. Even for just an erotic strip tease and a sensual HB / BJ action which I would have no problems paying FS prices for. If I could find someone like that, I might never need another SO again. Lmao.
    As Chris Berman would say, "It's a Fumble" and "Tick, tick, tick, tick, tick. ".

  12. #2219

    Bro, why you got to do me like that?

    Quote Originally Posted by LonelySmiles  [View Original Post]
    Roger that. What I get from that long odd tale is that Portis is a giant hypochondriac troll with nothing better to do. Alright, I think I'm done reading what he or she, or it (?) writes. Another one for the ignore list.
    I just bared my soul to you'all and you're just going to do me like that. Let's be friends man. I want all the inside scoop on all the hot bitches you've scored. .

  13. #2218
    Quote Originally Posted by SureYourRight  [View Original Post]
    So if I'm reading this correctly. You came to a shady forum to read about shady deeds, and then you were surprised and disgusted when the reports included shady information?
    Roger that. What I get from that long odd tale is that Portis is a giant hypochondriac troll with nothing better to do. Alright, I think I'm done reading what he or she, or it (?) writes. Another one for the ignore list.

  14. #2217

    TLDR: ClintonPortis is just here to talk smack.

    Quote Originally Posted by ClintonPortis  [View Original Post]
    I answered it a long time ago but it got me in trouble. LOL. At least I can presumably answer it here in the Like Beef thread.

    I was a potential monger who had come into some found money. Not exorbitant, but enough to pay for hundreds of sessions, and I was prepared to contribute an equivalent amount of reports. So I figured at peruse this forum and others to scope out the ins and outs of this "hobby". I thought this would be a fun way to pass time between civilian hookups.

    I was of course instantly APPALLED at the crap I was reading here. I just assumed that since we're living in the freaking 21st century that every monger here would understand the overwhelming importance of SAFETY in this hobby. I mean MY GOD, these women are literally fukking THOUSANDS of men. I thought EVERYONE would understand the importance of not exchanging bodily fluids to protect your own health, the health of the providers, and to LOOK OUT for your brother mongers.

    Of course I was dead wrong. My eyes literally bugged out when I read report after report bragging about BBBJ, DFK, DATY, and even BBFS. I read reports where mongers COMPLAINED when they didn't get to put their mouths on a hooker's cum-crusted vagina. Complaining that they didn't get to suck on a hooker's tongue that had just probed a man's shit-crusted asshole like 10 minutes earlier. I literally stared in shock for minutes reading this.

    This initial shock turned to disappointment at first. All the potential sessions were gone. No way was I going to risk my freaking health and the health of my on / off SO in such a freaking SELFISH way. Then disappointment turned to resentment and contempt. I started to look at these mongers as pathetic, beta males. I made fun of those that thought they were Don Juan's making these hookers cum 10 x per session. I made fun of the poor dweebs who expected GFE from hookers, berating them to go find ACTUAL GIRLFRIENDS if they wanted it instead of expecting a hooker who services 10 guys a day to spend extra time "cuddling". But eventually this bitterness faded away as well. I realized that many of these mongers actually have no prospects, no hope, to the point where they would risk their health and their lives for just a fleeting moment of fake "connection". I noticed also that most of the providers aren't hot enough for me to notice in the real world which eased the blow of not fukking them a little. If I'm going to be spending $$ to fuck a girl one time, she better have at least a near perfect body and a decent face. I'm not into paying $$ to fuck 50 year old ajummas at Happiness. LOL. I could do much better in the civilian world. And I have a preference for white girls, which makes the pickings even slimmer.

    So I've made my peace with it now for the most part. I just have fun and read the reports for entertainment value. I contribute what I can (I do see certain things happen downtown since I'm in the area a lot). But every once in awhile, something sets me off, and that old bitterness at not being able to partake in this hobby comes back. And that's when you see posts like my Tokyo Spa one.

    I'm currently single again and I would love to try out a SMOKING HOTT provider (white girl Mila levels) that DOESN'T engage in fluid exchange (NO DFK, DATY, BBBJ or BBFS), trustworthy enough to bring to your home and where you don't have to worry about getting blackmailed or getting robbed, and who has "passable" mattress actress skills. Even for just an erotic strip tease and a sensual HB / BJ action which I would have no problems paying FS prices for. If I could find someone like that, I might never need another SO again. Lmao.
    So if I'm reading this correctly. You came to a shady forum to read about shady deeds, and then you were surprised and disgusted when the reports included shady information?

  15. #2216

    I love this question.

    Quote Originally Posted by LonelySmiles  [View Original Post]
    Are you a working girl? Or an AMP owner?

    I've never seen you write a credible review. You are articulate, but your point of view is definitely not that of a customer. Interesting to see such activity from someone who doesn't appear to partake in this hobby.

    If I had to guess, I'd speculate that your writing is coming from the perspective of a woman who is jaded and fed-up with dealing with customer demands in this industry. Still, an interesting perspective, even if very antagonistic towards mongers.

    If you are a working girl, maybe I can schedule an appointment and we can talk this out face to face. You can even kick me out early!

    Well, that or you are some kind of anti prostitution activist.
    I answered it a long time ago but it got me in trouble. LOL. At least I can presumably answer it here in the Like Beef thread.

    I was a potential monger who had come into some found money. Not exorbitant, but enough to pay for hundreds of sessions, and I was prepared to contribute an equivalent amount of reports. So I figured at peruse this forum and others to scope out the ins and outs of this "hobby". I thought this would be a fun way to pass time between civilian hookups.

    I was of course instantly APPALLED at the crap I was reading here. I just assumed that since we're living in the freaking 21st century that every monger here would understand the overwhelming importance of SAFETY in this hobby. I mean MY GOD, these women are literally fukking THOUSANDS of men. I thought EVERYONE would understand the importance of not exchanging bodily fluids to protect your own health, the health of the providers, and to LOOK OUT for your brother mongers.

    Of course I was dead wrong. My eyes literally bugged out when I read report after report bragging about BBBJ, DFK, DATY, and even BBFS. I read reports where mongers COMPLAINED when they didn't get to put their mouths on a hooker's cum-crusted vagina. Complaining that they didn't get to suck on a hooker's tongue that had just probed a man's shit-crusted asshole like 10 minutes earlier. I literally stared in shock for minutes reading this.

    This initial shock turned to disappointment at first. All the potential sessions were gone. No way was I going to risk my freaking health and the health of my on / off SO in such a freaking SELFISH way. Then disappointment turned to resentment and contempt. I started to look at these mongers as pathetic, beta males. I made fun of those that thought they were Don Juan's making these hookers cum 10 x per session. I made fun of the poor dweebs who expected GFE from hookers, berating them to go find ACTUAL GIRLFRIENDS if they wanted it instead of expecting a hooker who services 10 guys a day to spend extra time "cuddling". But eventually this bitterness faded away as well. I realized that many of these mongers actually have no prospects, no hope, to the point where they would risk their health and their lives for just a fleeting moment of fake "connection". I noticed also that most of the providers aren't hot enough for me to notice in the real world which eased the blow of not fukking them a little. If I'm going to be spending $$ to fuck a girl one time, she better have at least a near perfect body and a decent face. I'm not into paying $$ to fuck 50 year old ajummas at Happiness. LOL. I could do much better in the civilian world. And I have a preference for white girls, which makes the pickings even slimmer.

    So I've made my peace with it now for the most part. I just have fun and read the reports for entertainment value. I contribute what I can (I do see certain things happen downtown since I'm in the area a lot). But every once in awhile, something sets me off, and that old bitterness at not being able to partake in this hobby comes back. And that's when you see posts like my Tokyo Spa one.

    I'm currently single again and I would love to try out a SMOKING HOTT provider (white girl Mila levels) that DOESN'T engage in fluid exchange (NO DFK, DATY, BBBJ or BBFS), trustworthy enough to bring to your home and where you don't have to worry about getting blackmailed or getting robbed, and who has "passable" mattress actress skills. Even for just an erotic strip tease and a sensual HB / BJ action which I would have no problems paying FS prices for. If I could find someone like that, I might never need another SO again. Lmao.

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