Thread: Massage Parlor Reports
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04-29-16 12:23 #20692Banned Member

Posts: 13634Harmony Massage. Buford Hwy
Stopped by to get a combo massage and the place was packed. Young receptionist said they have 20 employees. Unfotunately, she was the only cutie. Rest were dudes and fuglies. I got stuck with a short chubbo. One look at her and I shortened the session to just a footie.
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04-29-16 12:03 #20691Banned Member

Posts: 13634You'll never get extras at Soo Relax. Majority od Duluth is that way.
Originally Posted by Smilies
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04-29-16 10:46 #20690Senior Member

Posts: 351Nope, none whatsoever.
Originally Posted by Petey1015
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So, of course I went LOL.
Had a fanfuckingtastic 30 m session. I mean, seriously one of the best therapeutic massages I've ever had at an AMP in my (admittedly short) time at this. Place was completely empty; literally seemed to be just me and my masseuse. Thin, early 40's-ish, glasses, not unattractive, and damn near a mute. Said maybe 20 words to me the whole time, I shit you not.
All legit, no teasing, but in my experience that's usually the way with a 30 m. Along with the fact that this is a Kaina spinoff, there's quite possibly a standing order to "no happy the hobbyists". Still, a new sign might pressure some of the established places into flexing their rules a bit more, so may be a rising tide all the same. 4+1 out the door.
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04-29-16 10:45 #20689Senior Member

Posts: 529SunSin1 is right
Always grab some ass or leg in a CAMP. In addition to what SunSin said, it also let's them know you're not a cop.
The other thing I disagree with is:
13. I don't usually tip poorly for poor service, in this arena. If I get the service, I pay the tip. I know this is stupid, since a bad HE gets the same tip as a decent HE, but I'm not going to quibble over 10 bucks with a girl who just spanked my monkey. It's bad karma, and really, you don't need the drama.
WTF? We've all read the discussions here about jackhammer technique, and pinching your cock right when you pop, and shit like that. They can do shit that actually has long term effects. And even if it's just a bad session, a good tip only encourages bad service. I can't disagree with this enough. Always tip well for good service, but never be afraid to tip low for bad service. Even no tip if it's that bad.Last edited by Cocknballs; 04-29-16 at 10:47. Reason: fukkin autocorrect again
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04-29-16 10:33 #20688Senior Member

Posts: 351I'm no seasoned expert, but $160-180 seems to be par for 1 hr with decent looking, not-batshit indies. I'd easily pay $250/ hr on a regular basis (eg, 1-2/ month) for an indy that checked off every last item on my wish list.
Originally Posted by ParrotReborn
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04-29-16 10:29 #20687Senior Member

Posts: 351Yeah. The "nuru" nonsense probably would have suckered me in if it hadn't been for other monger bros calling it out for the scam that it virtually always is. Not to say there aren't awesome providers out there being the exceptions to the rule, but I don't have the time or $ to spend hunting them down. Better IMO to not take the bait.
Originally Posted by Niteluvr
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04-29-16 10:09 #20686Senior Member

Posts: 446I agree with a lot of this but.
"6. Always let the girl initiate the action. Don't be grabby. If it's a sting (unlikely), that is bad news. Even if it isn't, the girl may view you as an a-hole, so service quality will go down."
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WRONG:
Only KAMP girls will initiate the action. I always grab some leg or Ass in a Chinese place to let them know why I am there and see what is available by their response.
Sorry Dude, you provide some wisdom in your essay, but #6 is the exact opposite in my experience.
As for an LE sting, when have they ever had an undercover Asian massage girl cop bust a monger?
The cops pose as mongers to catch the girls.
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04-29-16 10:03 #20685Senior Member

Posts: 58I saw her a few years ago. With her YVMV because if she is into you. Much more can be had.
Originally Posted by JWSouth
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04-29-16 08:28 #20684Senior Member

Posts: 256Wanda is smoking hot. Average massage, she stopped my OTC, so I didn't attempt a HE or table shower.
Originally Posted by InchLong
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04-29-16 08:03 #20683Senior Member

Posts: 422This part gave me a laugh. My first experienced happened in a KAMP. I opened my wallet and showed my funds. By the time she was done with me, that gal had all of it. I've never brought my wallet since.
Originally Posted by Hobbyness
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04-29-16 00:36 #20682Senior Member

Posts: 236Usually you have to pay for the hour to get the TS, correct? Really appreciate the opinions / advice.
Originally Posted by Hobbyness
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04-28-16 21:52 #20681Regular Member

Posts: 24For new guys
Found this in another city thread I frequent, thought it might help some fellas here. It's about the same as any city or experience I've had in travels.
Re: Advise a Newbie.
I've posted these before, but it's been a while.
I've been playing the game for over 20 years. These are not rules, but they are general observations and rules of thumb. They apply to LA and the Valley, but not necessarily to places like San Gabriel, El Monte, Orange County.
1. Admission is usually $40/50 for a half hour. Never buy an hour on your first visit. I've read countless stories of guys who bought the hour, pop unexpectedly early, then get rushed out after 20 minutes.
2. Sometimes the mama-san won't even sell you an hour. She will say sternly, "30 minutes. " That is a good clue for you. Legit places will sell you as much time as you want.
3. Often, but not always, $40 places are HE only. $50 offer more extras. There are exceptions on both sides.
4. HE places, the girl will touch you and ask, "Is this OK?" or "You want?
5. FS places, the girl asks, "What do you want?" The answer is "Everything" or "Your mouth. " Don't say, fuck, or BJ or anything that could get you in trouble if this is actually a sting. The exception is if the provider already has her hand on your groin when she asks. Don't go to FS places for a HJ. You just piss them off, as they want the full tip.
6. Always let the girl initiate the action. Don't be grabby. If it's a sting (unlikely), that is bad news. Even if it isn't, the girl may view you as an a-hole, so service quality will go down.
7. Places that are less than $40 or more than $50 (like Massage Envy, which is $75 or more) are almost always legit.
8. Remove your clothes (all of them) and lie face-down on the table. Don't cover yourself with the towel, even if they told you to.
9. I put the tip on top of my folded clothes in plain sight. Some guys don't do this, and some have been burned by the girl grabbing the tip. I have never had that problem.
10. Some guys are more assertive or aggressive, and grab the girl to let her know what they are interested in. I have never found that necessary, and the one time I tried it, I was embarrassed by my own behavior.
11. Tips: $40 for HE. $60-80 for BJ (often, $60 for clothed BJ, $80 for topless or nude). $100 and up for FS ($120-160 in OC and San Francisco).
12. Tip more if the service is special, for example, topless HE, or BBBJ.
13. I don't usually tip poorly for poor service, in this arena. If I get the service, I pay the tip. I know this is stupid, since a bad HE gets the same tip as a decent HE, but I'm not going to quibble over 10 bucks with a girl who just spanked my monkey. It's bad karma, and really, you don't need the drama.
14. After you have a good visit or two at the same place, try an hour if you need it. I've never needed it for one pop, but I've had providers say if I bought the hour, I could have two pops. Most providers don't want to do an hour, because most guys don't tip accordingly. Really, an hour should be double the tip, as they could just do another 30 minutes with someone else otherwise. So it has to be worth her while.
15. If the place has a shower, and offers it to you, take it. Even if you just showered at home. A) They know you aren't a cop, because a cop won't leave his paraphernalia in the room. B) I suspect that some places go through your pockets, which is a good thing. Just leave your cards, identification, etc. In your car, or bring them with you to the shower. Again, they want to know you aren't a cop. C) If the girl knows you are really clean, she is more likely to do more of the things you want.
16. If they ask, "Have you been here before?" the best answer is usually, Yes. However, I've experimented with both answers, and it doesn't seem to matter overall. I think, contrary to what a lot of people here say, they ask to see if you know the rules.
17. If they ask, "Who did you see the last time you were here?" just say, "I don't remember. Maybe it was Bebe?" It's all code. If you say you have never been there before, you may still get what you want, it just may take a while for them to check you out and make sure you are going to tip them, and aren't a neighborhood vigilante-type looking to make trouble.
18. Sometimes, they will ask, "How did you find out about this place?" Again, it's to see how savvy you are. If you say, "I was just driving down the street and wanted a massage," they may be more cautious. If you say, "My friend told me about it," or, "On the Internet," they know you are at least non-newbie enough to have a clue about what is going on. If they ask which friend, say, "John. He's gray-haired and about 6'1". Comes here all the time, about 45 years old. " They will say, "Oh, him! Tell him to come in soon. ".
19. If they ask how you want your massage, hard, medium or light / soft, always say "light / soft. " Legit places never ask that. "Light massage" is code for teasing. Usually. Sometimes not. Then you just get a bad massage. If they start actually giving you a light massage, just say you changed your mind and you want it harder. If a place is legit, you may as well get a good massage out of it. I know some guys want a real massage followed by HE, but I find there is more risk in requesting a medium or hard massage of not getting an HE. Also, most of these providers are NOT very good at it, and a hard massage will just damage you.
20. Always accept the cup or bottle of water they offer as you are leaving. You need to replace any fluids you have recently discharged.
Report back here. It's good karma and helps out the next guy.
P.S. A note on negotiations. Girls state a price. Some guys like to haggle. This is a fine line. If a girl says, $120 for FS, and you bargain her down to $80, do you really think you are going to get quality service? Yes, some girls start high, expecting to haggle down, and some are just greedy, but they won't give you good service anyway. In best practice, there is no discussion of tip beforehand, and if you stick to the standards, you are usually OK. NEVER ask "How much?" Sometimes, you hand a girl $60 and she asks for $80. If she was good, just give it. If she wasn't, say you don't have it. Don't wave around a wad of money, and not expect her to ask for more. If you open your wallet, remove $60, showing an obviously empty wallet, and hand it to her, chances are she'll be good with it. That said, it's worth keeping an extra $40 or $60 in another pocket for special occasions, emergencies, and super-duper service, etc.
Last edited by Mr Sixty; 04-21-16 at 00:10. Reason: Additional thoughts.
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04-28-16 21:14 #20680Regular Member

Posts: 5Soo Relax and Coco
Soo Relax: Young, cute, slightly thick girl. Saw another younger girl there too. Very sensual but completely legit with no signs.
A while back I was at Coco. Didn't even have to request it and left happy. Had a good conversation and she delighted to make it happen. YMMV.
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04-28-16 18:47 #20679Banned Member

Posts: 13634Nuru Bullshit
I was intrigued about nuru a few years ago so made an appointment with Goddess Athena. She still posts ads but I'm too lazy to look for them now. Anyway, she looked like an old hippie, had some candles burning and basically did some pretend nuru bullshit. I was in my underwear the whole time and she never took a shred of clothing off. Huge mistake.
Originally Posted by JWSouth
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04-28-16 17:43 #20678Banned Member

Posts: 168Damage??
This is probably not meant for me but I'm just curious. What are high rates? What's the damage? Let me know please.
Originally Posted by JWSouth
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