Massage Parlor Reports

[MahiDrake]

I've posted these before, but it's been a while.

I've been playing the game for over 20 years. These are not rules, but they are general observations and rules of thumb. They apply to LA and the Valley, but not necessarily to places like San Gabriel, El Monte, Orange County.

1. Admission is usually $40/50 for a half hour. Never buy an hour on your first visit. I've read countless stories of guys who bought the hour, pop unexpectedly early, then get rushed out after 20 minutes.

2. Sometimes the mama-san won't even sell you an hour. She will say sternly, "30 minutes." That is a good clue for you. Legit places will sell you as much time as you want.

3. Often, but not always, $40 places are HE only. $50 offer more extras. There are exceptions on both sides.

4. HE places, the girl will touch you and ask, "Is this OK?" or "You want?"

5. FS places, the girl asks, "What do you want?" The answer is "Everything" or "Your mouth." Don't say, fuck, or BJ or anything that could get you in trouble if this is actually a sting. The exception is if the provider already has her hand on your groin when she asks. Don't go to FS places for a HJ. You just piss them off, as they want the full tip.

6. Always let the girl initiate the action. Don't be grabby. If it's a sting (unlikely), that is bad news. Even if it isn't, the girl may view you as an a-hole, so service quality will go down.

7. Places that are less than $40 or more than $50 (like Massage Envy, which is $75 or more) are almost always legit.

8. Remove your clothes (all of them) and lie face-down on the table. Don't cover yourself with the towel, even if they told you to.

9. I put the tip on top of my folded clothes in plain sight. Some guys don't do this, and some have been burned by the girl grabbing the tip. I have never had that problem.

10. Some guys are more assertive or aggressive, and grab the girl to let her know what they are interested in. I have never found that necessary, and the one time I tried it, I was embarrassed by my own behavior.

11. Tips: $40 for HE. $60-80 for BJ (often, $60 for clothed BJ, $80 for topless or nude). $100 and up for FS ($120-160 in OC and San Francisco).

12. Tip more if the service is special, for example, topless HE, or BBBJ.

13. I don't usually tip poorly for poor service, in this arena. If I get the service, I pay the tip. I know this is stupid, since a bad HE gets the same tip as a decent HE, but I'm not going to quibble over 10 bucks with a girl who just spanked my monkey. It's bad karma, and really, you don't need the drama.

14. After you have a good visit or two at the same place, try an hour if you need it. I've never needed it for one pop, but I've had providers say if I bought the hour, I could have two pops. Most providers don't want to do an hour, because most guys don't tip accordingly. Really, an hour should be double the tip, as they could just do another 30 minutes with someone else otherwise. So it has to be worth her while.

15. If the place has a shower, and offers it to you, take it. Even if you just showered at home. A) They know you aren't a cop, because a cop won't leave his paraphernalia in the room. B) I suspect that some places go through your pockets, which is a good thing. Just leave your cards, identification, etc. In your car, or bring them with you to the shower. Again, they want to know you aren't a cop. C) If the girl knows you are really clean, she is more likely to do more of the things you want.

16. If they ask, "Have you been here before?" the best answer is usually, Yes. However, I've experimented with both answers, and it doesn't seem to matter overall. I think, contrary to what a lot of people here say, they ask to see if you know the rules.

17. If they ask, "Who did you see the last time you were here?" just say, "I don't remember. Maybe it was Bebe?" It's all code. If you say you have never been there before, you may still get what you want, it just may take a while for them to check you out and make sure you are going to tip them, and aren't a neighborhood vigilante-type looking to make trouble.

18. Sometimes, they will ask, "How did you find out about this place?" Again, it's to see how savvy you are. If you say, "I was just driving down the street and wanted a massage," they may be more cautious. If you say, "My friend told me about it," or, "On the Internet," they know you are at least non-newbie enough to have a clue about what is going on. If they ask which friend, say, "John. He's gray-haired and about 6'1"... comes here all the time, about 45 years old." They will say, "Oh, him! Tell him to come in soon."

19. If they ask how you want your massage, hard, medium or light/soft, always say "light/soft." Legit places never ask that. "Light massage" is code for teasing. Usually. Sometimes not. Then you just get a bad massage. If they start actually giving you a light massage, just say you changed your mind and you want it harder. If a place is legit, you may as well get a good massage out of it. I know some guys want a real massage followed by HE, but I find there is more risk in requesting a medium or hard massage of not getting an HE. Also, most of these providers are NOT very good at it, and a hard massage will just damage you.

20. Always accept the cup or bottle of water they offer as you are leaving. You need to replace any fluids you have recently discharged.

Report back here. It's good karma and helps out the next guy.

P.S. A note on negotiations. Girls state a price. Some guys like to haggle. This is a fine line. If a girl says, $120 for FS, and you bargain her down to $80, do you really think you are going to get quality service? Yes, some girls start high, expecting to haggle down, and some are just greedy, but they won't give you good service anyway. In best practice, there is no discussion of tip beforehand, and if you stick to the standards, you are usually OK. NEVER ask "How much?" Sometimes, you hand a girl $60 and she asks for $80. If she was good, just give it. If she wasn't, say you don't have it. Don't wave around a wad of money, and not expect her to ask for more. If you open your wallet, remove $60, showing an obviously empty wallet, and hand it to her, chances are she'll be good with it. That said, it's worth keeping an extra $40 or $60 in another pocket for special occasions, emergencies, and super-duper service, etc.

You sir, are a legend! I think almost all my questions have been answered here. Just one final question, is it better to go on a weekday afternoon because there'd be fewer customers coming in and so the girls won't be in a rush?

[Crzyed]

Adm88 your mailbox is full.

[PlayerN818]

Is $80 allows touching? Is it sensual? I've been to a lot of massage $100 is full body, decent massage, sensual, foot scrub and foot spa. Allow touching but not sensitive parts. But I always tip good.

It varies. I've gotten from top off tit sucking to over clothes only. I'm only looking for the HJ, so rarely have to go over. 9.

[Mondo72]

Hey Sixty,

Man thanks a lot for taking the time to post the report to help newbies out.

I know when I first started out I would of loved to have seen a report like yours since one has so many questions and for the most part we are not sure how to do things.

This is the way this site is supposed to work, provide info so others can benefit from it.

Mondo.

[ChrisPoontang]

http://losangeles.backpage.com/Femal...girls/62065166

Got a young hot latina but attitude was a huge turn off. She was the only worker. Could hear her getting smashed next door before it was my turn. Didn't want sloppy seconds, so I asked for a BJ. Pretty pricey and rushed. No skills. Upside is my hands could roam. Quoted FS 120.

Sorry but you are ALWAYS getting sloppy seconds. Or thirds. . or 20 ths.

The unemployed boyfriend usually taps it before she goes to work.

[Mr Sixty]

I've posted these before, but it's been a while.

I've been playing the game for over 20 years. These are not rules, but they are general observations and rules of thumb. They apply to LA and the Valley, but not necessarily to places like San Gabriel, El Monte, Orange County.

1. Admission is usually $40/50 for a half hour. Never buy an hour on your first visit. I've read countless stories of guys who bought the hour, pop unexpectedly early, then get rushed out after 20 minutes.

2. Sometimes the mama-san won't even sell you an hour. She will say sternly, "30 minutes." That is a good clue for you. Legit places will sell you as much time as you want.

3. Often, but not always, $40 places are HE only. $50 offer more extras. There are exceptions on both sides.

4. HE places, the girl will touch you and ask, "Is this OK?" or "You want?"

5. FS places, the girl asks, "What do you want?" The answer is "Everything" or "Your mouth." Don't say, fuck, or BJ or anything that could get you in trouble if this is actually a sting. The exception is if the provider already has her hand on your groin when she asks. Don't go to FS places for a HJ. You just piss them off, as they want the full tip.

6. Always let the girl initiate the action. Don't be grabby. If it's a sting (unlikely), that is bad news. Even if it isn't, the girl may view you as an a-hole, so service quality will go down.

7. Places that are less than $40 or more than $50 (like Massage Envy, which is $75 or more) are almost always legit.

8. Remove your clothes (all of them) and lie face-down on the table. Don't cover yourself with the towel, even if they told you to.

9. I put the tip on top of my folded clothes in plain sight. Some guys don't do this, and some have been burned by the girl grabbing the tip. I have never had that problem.

10. Some guys are more assertive or aggressive, and grab the girl to let her know what they are interested in. I have never found that necessary, and the one time I tried it, I was embarrassed by my own behavior.

11. Tips: $40 for HE. $60-80 for BJ (often, $60 for clothed BJ, $80 for topless or nude). $100 and up for FS ($120-160 in OC and San Francisco).

12. Tip more if the service is special, for example, topless HE, or BBBJ.

13. I don't usually tip poorly for poor service, in this arena. If I get the service, I pay the tip. I know this is stupid, since a bad HE gets the same tip as a decent HE, but I'm not going to quibble over 10 bucks with a girl who just spanked my monkey. It's bad karma, and really, you don't need the drama.

14. After you have a good visit or two at the same place, try an hour if you need it. I've never needed it for one pop, but I've had providers say if I bought the hour, I could have two pops. Most providers don't want to do an hour, because most guys don't tip accordingly. Really, an hour should be double the tip, as they could just do another 30 minutes with someone else otherwise. So it has to be worth her while.

15. If the place has a shower, and offers it to you, take it. Even if you just showered at home. A) They know you aren't a cop, because a cop won't leave his paraphernalia in the room. B) I suspect that some places go through your pockets, which is a good thing. Just leave your cards, identification, etc. In your car, or bring them with you to the shower. Again, they want to know you aren't a cop. C) If the girl knows you are really clean, she is more likely to do more of the things you want.

16. If they ask, "Have you been here before?" the best answer is usually, Yes. However, I've experimented with both answers, and it doesn't seem to matter overall. I think, contrary to what a lot of people here say, they ask to see if you know the rules.

17. If they ask, "Who did you see the last time you were here?" just say, "I don't remember. Maybe it was Bebe?" It's all code. If you say you have never been there before, you may still get what you want, it just may take a while for them to check you out and make sure you are going to tip them, and aren't a neighborhood vigilante-type looking to make trouble.

18. Sometimes, they will ask, "How did you find out about this place?" Again, it's to see how savvy you are. If you say, "I was just driving down the street and wanted a massage," they may be more cautious. If you say, "My friend told me about it," or, "On the Internet," they know you are at least non-newbie enough to have a clue about what is going on. If they ask which friend, say, "John. He's gray-haired and about 6'1"... comes here all the time, about 45 years old." They will say, "Oh, him! Tell him to come in soon."

19. If they ask how you want your massage, hard, medium or light/soft, always say "light/soft." Legit places never ask that. "Light massage" is code for teasing. Usually. Sometimes not. Then you just get a bad massage. If they start actually giving you a light massage, just say you changed your mind and you want it harder. If a place is legit, you may as well get a good massage out of it. I know some guys want a real massage followed by HE, but I find there is more risk in requesting a medium or hard massage of not getting an HE. Also, most of these providers are NOT very good at it, and a hard massage will just damage you.

20. Always accept the cup or bottle of water they offer as you are leaving. You need to replace any fluids you have recently discharged.

Report back here. It's good karma and helps out the next guy.

P.S. A note on negotiations. Girls state a price. Some guys like to haggle. This is a fine line. If a girl says, $120 for FS, and you bargain her down to $80, do you really think you are going to get quality service? Yes, some girls start high, expecting to haggle down, and some are just greedy, but they won't give you good service anyway. In best practice, there is no discussion of tip beforehand, and if you stick to the standards, you are usually OK. NEVER ask "How much?" Sometimes, you hand a girl $60 and she asks for $80. If she was good, just give it. If she wasn't, say you don't have it. Don't wave around a wad of money, and not expect her to ask for more. If you open your wallet, remove $60, showing an obviously empty wallet, and hand it to her, chances are she'll be good with it. That said, it's worth keeping an extra $40 or $60 in another pocket for special occasions, emergencies, and super-duper service, etc.

[Bolb89]

http://losangeles.backpage.com/Femal...girls/62065166

Got a young hot latina but attitude was a huge turn off. She was the only worker. Could hear her getting smashed next door before it was my turn. Didn't want sloppy seconds, so I asked for a BJ. Pretty pricey and rushed. No skills. Upside is my hands could roam. Quoted FS 120.

[AtlLooking]

Or come over the hill into the valley and spend about $80 for a decent massage and HE.

Is $80 allows touching? Is it sensual? I've been to a lot of massage $100 is full body, decent massage, sensual, foot scrub and foot spa. Allow touching but not sensitive parts. But I always tip good.

[PlayerN818]

Hahahaha. Thanks man. I'll keep that in mind, probably plan for a Wednesday afternoon if I can find the time.

Or come over the hill into the valley and spend about $80 for a decent massage and HE.

[PlayerN818]

"I have come from the future to offer you hh specials, role play and fetishes".

http://losangeles.backpage.com/Femal...t-inc/67627386

She could've written that sign on her forehead.

[MahiDrake]

Your probably looking $120 for a decent massage and rub and tug, just depends on how good your negotiating skills are and how desperate she is, if it's been a quiet day.

Hahahaha. Thanks man. I'll keep that in mind, probably plan for a Wednesday afternoon if I can find the time.

[MahiDrake]

Solid advice. I would also add that BP is rife with no-shows, uglies and ripoffs. With an AMP, you walk in, rarely wait more than 10 minutes to start, and (at least for me) enjoy the suspense of 'what will she do?

Thanks, that makes sense.

[MahiDrake]

I monger in the valley and typicaly the breakdown is:

$40-50 is the common house fee. There are a few $35 AMP's, but usually those are legit only. For a simple tug it's. 4 Some providers will ask for a bit more to pop the girls out. CBJ is usually. 6-. 8 and FS usually is $ and up. The advantage of an AMP over BP is there isn't a pimp waiting to rob you. A few newbie tips: Only bring what you are willing to pay in with you. You can't be talked out of cash you don't have. Don't fall in love. These girls are sweet and friendly but it's a business. Treat them with respect. If you find yourself in a legit shop, don't push the issue, enjoy the massage and tip accordingly. Be safe and have fun.

Bringing only what you're willing to give is real sensible. Thank you!

[MahiDrake]

Technically you are right. For a rub and tug it's usually the entrance fee plus the tip that goes anywhere from $40-$60+ (depending how generous you like to be). Some places will let you do it like animals but of course the price will go up. I guess some guys like a massage with their release. If your looking for some p*ssy then BP might be a better route.

Thanks man!

[Tipisil]

"I have come from the future to offer you hh specials, role play and fetishes".

http://losangeles.backpage.com/Femal...t-inc/67627386

Nothing fake about that ad. Totally legit.