Massage Parlor Reports

[Luke Appling]

Visited New Hope aboout 2 weeks ago. I didn't get the name of the MILFy provider but It was my first time so I never press the issue. If they have a table shower, I wasn't offered one. I left happy. Before arriving I went to the pizza joint up the street and had a slice and flirted with the hostess, a nice looking curvy latina. One day Chicago will have latina parlors on par with California, Texas and Florida.

On the way down Belmont Ave, I saw a place that only old time mongers may remember, the colon clinic and wellness center. The Chinese, I think, woman who owned it about 15 years ago had the body of a Grecian goddess. You only got the full menu if she was super comfortable with you and at one point had 1 or 2 european providers as well. I understand she married an older gentlemen of means and I don't doubt her goal was to have him die happy, while in the saddle. She sold it to another asian woman who initially didn't know what she bought and I think not much after that the place went dark.

Wired.

You're thinking of the old Lakeview Holistic, and that place was amazing. She also had a place on Lincoln around Irving for a while as well, and both were a sure thing for regular customers. That was back when there were a lot of Eastern European immigrants coming in. I can't remember all the names there, but there was chesty Karoline whose hair changed color sometimes, a skinny Karoline who was willing to do a lot with me, and a Latina named Gabby who was really smoking hot and fairly freaky. I never asked any of them for full service, but fully nude blowjobs were pretty regular there. I think we've dried up on the EMPs because the fucking EU starting letting the Eastern European countries in, and it's easier for immigrants to go to Western European countries. It could change again though because the easterners are really discriminated against in Western Europe.

[AceBox]

I tried Lavender on Grand, a pretty good massage by the older woman who unfortunately did not do it for me. My guess is that extras were available but I was giving off a no extras vibe and she understood. Also the place was not very clean, there were a fair number of ants around. There was a pretty younger girl, kind of dressed up, sitting in a chair there who I would have liked to try but oh well.

[AceBox]

No extras for me either, though I got a good massage from a friendly and pretty lady.

Massage was not impressive and nothing extra offered on either of my two visits. Avoid.

[Kellster]

LOL. Just as I was thinking its probably easier to solve the Sunday Times crossword puzzle than this riddle a Senior solved the mystry for me!

I'm glad I'm not the only one who was thrown off with that riddle- of course I didn't put a lot of effort into trying to solve it. Man, just mention the place and if you had a good massage and were satisfied with it. It's not like the powers that be are clueless about these places existence anyway. The whole point of this board is to give reviews, report clip joints like Lake Street, etc- not to decipher some hidden code of where you might have gone. There are 2 places with the name Pine in it to further confuse things- especially if it's on a larger, general forum like the Chicago board. Just my opinion.

[IlDiavolo]

This is IDIAVOLO's favorite spot and no one knows? LOL.

To DMichaels point, I've reviewed and otherwise commented on this place quite a few times, just look at all my posts and you'll know most of what you might want / need to about what's going on at there over the last 6 months or so. .

[Lebruno]

LOL. Just as I was thinking its probably easier to solve the Sunday Times crossword puzzle than this riddle a Senior solved the mystry for me!

I also wondered for a second. A quick look at wikipedia says.

"Typical examples of conifers include cedars, Douglas-firs, cypresses, firs, junipers, kauri, larches, pines, hemlocks, redwoods, spruces, and yews".

The clue may be right there, 3/4th of the way. I do not know if I am on the right track.

[Nidhogg69]

Her name is Coffee, hence the double entendres. Enjoy!

LOL, now I feel stoopid. I got all the other hints and of course I've long been a fan of ye olde conifer as well. Guess I shouldn't read TOO much between the lines, sometimes a cup of Coffee IS actually Coffee. .

[Tiny John]

Went to the Asian mp on "elst0 n". Every time I've been here before the woman have been older, and not the best looking, but they would make up for that by being enthusiastic and accommodating. This time there was a younger woman, named kilo, and she was also attractive!

Unfortunately, she was neither enthusiastic and accommodating, but downright unfriendly. I did try to make small talk, she would have no part of that. She gave a 3rd rate massage. On the flip there was extended negotiations for a he. If that wasn't enough of a buzz kill, when she did the he she was standing as far away as possible! She did short me on the time, but I did not care. I just wanted to leave. Would not repeat!

[DMichaels69]

Same old story. Tipping issues and crappy service.

Was visiting and paid a visit to Ruby on S. Archer. Didn't get the providers name, but there was only two there and I drew the one with long black hair. The other provider had some combination of Strawberry Blonde want to be hair and wasn't worth looking at. Massage was great, but at the end came the negotiation. Buzz Kill. I can't freakin stand when they start negotiating with me. So we agree on a simple HJ, as her prices were way out in orbit. Talk about a completely un-enthusiastic provider, I would be better off getting an HJ from the freakin wall. Wouldn't go back, as it seems there are much better providers in the Windy city. Maybe she knows she doesn't know how to get that pissed off look off her face and give anything decent, hence the negotiation up front. Caveat Emptor. TWOT.

[DMichaels69]

This is IDIAVOLO's favorite spot and no one knows? LOL.

This conifer is found amongst some willows near a rivulet.

[IlDiavolo]

Did you happen to catch the name of the waitress who served you the cup with the especially fine rim? Always on the lookup for great wait staff. .

Her name is Coffee, hence the double entendres. Enjoy!

[Cdmanoise]

Was visiting and paid a visit to Ruby on S. Archer. Didn't get the providers name, but there was only two there and I drew the one with long black hair. The other provider had some combination of Strawberry Blonde want to be hair and wasn't worth looking at. Massage was great, but at the end came the negotiation. Buzz Kill. I can't freakin stand when they start negotiating with me. So we agree on a simple HJ, as her prices were way out in orbit. Talk about a completely un-enthusiastic provider, I would be better off getting an HJ from the freakin wall. Wouldn't go back, as it seems there are much better providers in the Windy city. Maybe she knows she doesn't know how to get that pissed off look off her face and give anything decent, hence the negotiation up front. Caveat Emptor. TWOT.

[Nidhogg69]

An absolutely outstanding blend. Enthusiastically delivered is an understatement. Highly recommended. I will definitely repeat, holy!

Did you happen to catch the name of the waitress who served you the cup with the especially fine rim? Always on the lookup for great wait staff. .

[Wenger]

I also wondered for a second. A quick look at wikipedia says.

"Typical examples of conifers include cedars, Douglas-firs, cypresses, firs, junipers, kauri, larches, pines, hemlocks, redwoods, spruces, and yews".

The clue may be right there, 3/4th of the way. I do not know if I am on the right track.

This conifer is found amongst some willows near a rivulet.

[Sam Singer]

Where is this place?!

I also wondered for a second. A quick look at wikipedia says.

"Typical examples of conifers include cedars, Douglas-firs, cypresses, firs, junipers, kauri, larches, pines, hemlocks, redwoods, spruces, and yews".

The clue may be right there, 3/4th of the way. I do not know if I am on the right track.