"Sugarbabies" / "Arrangements" Amateurs or Not?

[Mike7794]

I agree with some of this, except that sex addiction is real, just as addiction to anything can be real. Addiction is simply when the indulgence in some activity starts to have adverse effects that you don't want, and you then find it challenging to control the indulgence. Anything enjoyable can become an addiction. Evolution also programs us to crave foods that aren't necessarily good for us, but all we have to do is observe people who are 600 lbs or people who keel over from heart disease / diabetes etc to understand that following our evolutionary cravings do not always lead us to success.

Think about what would happen if we did (as you said) what our sex drive urges us to do, which is fuck as many as we possibly can (or at least those we want to fuck). I can't speak for everyone, but if I had lived my life like that, I would have already had child support payments with at least a dozen different women and would be spending the rest of my life digging out of that financial hell. I would be too poor to afford SB dating. What's more, my attractiveness to potential civy women would be greatly diminished. Everyone knows that the more kids you have, the less desirable you are on the dating scene. Some guys I'm sure can lie about how many offspring they have initially, but eventually it all catches up to them. Thankfully, more than once my awareness and better judgment has allowed me to recognize those that were trying to get pregnant by me, and no matter how addicted I was to fucking them, I had to cut and run.

I had a vsec back in '08. One of the best things I've ever done. Instead of pulling out you get to stay in and let it go. It's been a beautiful thing.

[FotoGuy1970]

It's come to my attention one of the sb's on sa claiming to be 19, is actually still in high school and most likely 15-16. You guys think I should report her, or just mind my own business. She made some lame excuse about not being able to meet over the weekend before I did some digging, but who knows if she's met anyone and is looking perhaps to set them up.

I've reported a couple of girls to SA for being underage and I knew for a fact that they were. I personally think it's best to keep the underage girls off of the site so that SA doesn't attract the kind of attention that it really does not want.

[HollywoodGuy]

" In the civvy dating world, I had to fight my nature of being a nice guy to get what I wanted. Essentially I was a the*ick to the girl I wanted to be with, and then eventually landed her. She is now my SO. " Smellyfish.

Is that a good thing Fish? Maybe you shouldn't have tried so hard. I think Hollywood has the dream life. When the SO good times are surpassed by the bad times then it makes the Sugar life look better and better. Marriage is usually good, until it isn't. And it always hits that "isn't " phase at some point. That is why we are all here, on line, emailing nubile young babes, trying to find that next conquest instead of snuggling up at home with the SO. Sad but true.

I tell every SB that starts to take off. That I am in it for the honeymoon phase only. When that's over, we're done. Because there is one thing I will never do again, and that's having to "work" on a relationship. I already have one job and that's enough.

[FredMoore]

" In the civvy dating world, I had to fight my nature of being a nice guy to get what I wanted. Essentially I was a the*ick to the girl I wanted to be with, and then eventually landed her. She is now my SO. " Smellyfish.

Is that a good thing Fish? Maybe you shouldn't have tried so hard. I think Hollywood has the dream life. When the SO good times are surpassed by the bad times then it makes the Sugar life look better and better. Marriage is usually good, until it isn't. And it always hits that "isn't " phase at some point. That is why we are all here, on line, emailing nubile young babes, trying to find that next conquest instead of snuggling up at home with the SO. Sad but true.

[HollywoodGuy]

I've tried to be a nice guy with these girls, but after dealing with thieves, liars, and fakes, my patience for dealing with some of their crap has become paper thin. As long as I feel that an arrangement or even plans for a M&G are going well, I am absolutely a very nice, understanding and generous person (much as I am in real life, outside of the sugar world). But as soon as a POT or a SB starts screwing things up, my niceness, understanding, and generosity will get very short, very quick.

I always stay nice till the end. When it goes south I just move on. Live and learn.

[Bastardo]

It's come to my attention one of the sb's on sa claiming to be 19, is actually still in high school and most likely 15-16. You guys think I should report her, or just mind my own business. She made some lame excuse about not being able to meet over the weekend before I did some digging, but who knows if she's met anyone and is looking perhaps to set them up.

[Bastardo]

I've tried to be a nice guy with these girls, but after dealing with thieves, liars, and fakes, my patience for dealing with some of their crap has become paper thin. As long as I feel that an arrangement or even plans for a M&G are going well, I am absolutely a very nice, understanding and generous person (much as I am in real life, outside of the sugar world). But as soon as a POT or a SB starts screwing things up, my niceness, understanding, and generosity will get very short, very quick.

I've become the exact same way.

[Donwhite]

Be careful when you go bare guys. I'm awaiting results from a gonorrhea / chlamydia test that I had today. I think I got it from a dirty blowjob since I always wear life jacket when I go tunnel diving in the bowl. I went ahead and got the antibiotic shot in the hip and took 4 other antibiotic bills in case the test comes back positive. The urgent care doctor said it was either that or kidney stones. Either way my recent return to the bowl has gone awry.

[JZLizard]

Right throughout the animal kingdom, through evolution, the dominant males have mated with the most nubile and fertile females.

With the human animal having evolved to a thinking and cunning animal, that dominance includes not only control of physical resources, but also the ability to mate with as many females of the species as he can using his smarts.

I say that there is no such thing as sex addiction. We are doing exactly what evolution has programmed us to do. Mating with as many women as we can is just as much a part of our makeup as breathing.

As for civvy dating, well why not let THEM be the "just friends"? There are some really wonderful women out there my age (62), but why date them? Seek them out as friends, have a ball, but dating? That's for the younger ones, as evolution has designed.

I agree with some of this, except that sex addiction is real, just as addiction to anything can be real. Addiction is simply when the indulgence in some activity starts to have adverse effects that you don't want, and you then find it challenging to control the indulgence. Anything enjoyable can become an addiction. Evolution also programs us to crave foods that aren't necessarily good for us, but all we have to do is observe people who are 600 lbs or people who keel over from heart disease / diabetes etc to understand that following our evolutionary cravings do not always lead us to success.

Think about what would happen if we did (as you said) what our sex drive urges us to do, which is fuck as many as we possibly can (or at least those we want to fuck). I can't speak for everyone, but if I had lived my life like that, I would have already had child support payments with at least a dozen different women and would be spending the rest of my life digging out of that financial hell. I would be too poor to afford SB dating. What's more, my attractiveness to potential civy women would be greatly diminished. Everyone knows that the more kids you have, the less desirable you are on the dating scene. Some guys I'm sure can lie about how many offspring they have initially, but eventually it all catches up to them. Thankfully, more than once my awareness and better judgment has allowed me to recognize those that were trying to get pregnant by me, and no matter how addicted I was to fucking them, I had to cut and run.

[FotoGuy1970]

I've tried to be a nice guy with these girls, but after dealing with thieves, liars, and fakes, my patience for dealing with some of their crap has become paper thin. As long as I feel that an arrangement or even plans for a M&G are going well, I am absolutely a very nice, understanding and generous person (much as I am in real life, outside of the sugar world). But as soon as a POT or a SB starts screwing things up, my niceness, understanding, and generosity will get very short, very quick.

[RubberyMan]

Right throughout the animal kingdom, through evolution, the dominant males have mated with the most nubile and fertile females.

With the human animal having evolved to a thinking and cunning animal, that dominance includes not only control of physical resources, but also the ability to mate with as many females of the species as he can using his smarts.

I say that there is no such thing as sex addiction. We are doing exactly what evolution has programmed us to do. Mating with as many women as we can is just as much a part of our makeup as breathing.

As for civvy dating, well why not let THEM be the "just friends"? There are some really wonderful women out there my age (62), but why date them? Seek them out as friends, have a ball, but dating? That's for the younger ones, as evolution has designed.

[IluvSmellyFish]

And re entered the civvy dating world, I would make it clear up front I wanted someone to be with forever, who would lack for nothing, but would have to be ok with me banging random girls when I needed the strange.

[HollywoodGuy]

Funny how that works.

If this thread was a book, that would be the final sentence.

[IluvSmellyFish]

I take a middle of the road approach.

I don't go negative on sbs that don't go to the FC after the second date, but also let them know that if they don't give it up, they won't see me again. Two have come back with requests for a third date, problem is my time is limited, and I aleady have sbs who are willing to go to the FC who are gauranteeed to give me an amazing time who have already filled the spots of the girls that did not give it up, but who now want to. I have left things open with those girls who ate now ready to give it up, for when I need something new. Sure they may not be around when I get bored of my current rotation, but who knows?

I have not civvy dated for years, but when I was, I found that the nice guy approach left me in the friend zone. Always.

Main difference in my opinion is that in the bowl, I don't plan on marrying any of these girls. I just want to f*ck them. I am by nature a nice guy. If they want to be my SB for a few weeks then great, and if not, then I can give another girl my cash and gifts. I am always congenial and leave the door open to them to give them the chance to bang me for an allowance.

In the civvy dating world, I had to fight my nature of being a nice guy to get what I wanted. Essentially I was a d*ick to the girl I wanted to be with, and then eventually landed her. She is now my SO.

Now she has the life she always wanted and dreamed about. With the exception of having a guy who bangs sbs on the side without her knowing about it.

Funny how that works.

I never, ego negative as you never know. Had one SB who decided I really was worth seeing after taking a bunch of shit and never regretted that. In real life dating ok to call them to task but I think not in the bowl.

[JZLizard]

That's a good thought. As I'm going to be transitioning to real life dating over the next few months I'm trying to work on maintaining my frame, re-establishing my alpha characther, etc. However, in the bowl perhaps I need to tread a little more lightly. Play the beta provider role more. This was really the first time I've gone negative and done the "now or nothing" method and it didn't work out for me. I'm fairly confident that if I left the door open with all 3 of those I could eventually close. I just wanted action that night! .

Just another perspective -- I actually take things in the opposite direction, being a little more aggressive as an SD than I would be in most civy dating situations.

I have done exactly what you described "now or never" on more than one occasion. One was an SB that used to always drive me crazy with her schedule requirements, changing meeting times at the last minute and such. So, on two separate occasions I just said "look it seems like our schedules aren't matching up this time, I've give you a call the next time I'm in town", with the implication or attitude that there were others waiting in line behind her, without directly saying there were. In both cases she was suddenly able to move mountains to accommodate my schedule and meet me at the planned time. I got the impression she mostly just wanted to see how much she could control the situation, make me wait for her, etc. Another was a different POT that wanted to cut the date short and reschedule for the next day (but I did in fact already have a date for the next day) so I just told her straight out we close the deal tonight or it's over before it starts. She copped an attitude and it was a few bucks lost on drinks, but my date the next day was fucking phenomenal, so no regrets on how I handled it.

In fact I would say my expectations are higher as an SD than in civy dating, and my overall behavior more dominant. The way I see it, I've earned the right to be in the driver's seat. They are just starting out. Experience wins. I'm under no delusions that I'm the only SD on the planet, I know there are plenty of guys who will also be happy to fuck them, but I think the overall value of my time is much higher than theirs. In terms of comparing what each has to offer, sure they have pussy, but I've got a dick and cash and that makes the score 2 to 1. LOL.

But, all of this is because I never have any intention or expectation of long-term plans with an SB, it's all for fun. My civy dating behavior is usually different, that is if I'm seeing someone who I might actually want to "date" (I. E. Be involved with in a way that's more than sexual). I am much more likely to have a team-player mentality and treat her time as equally valuable as mine (because in this case there's no allowance involved, so we are on equal territory in my mind). If I start to see signs of immaturity or she is just generally being a pain in the ass, I might start to exert more dominance as I start to see her as someone I don't want to hang around long-term, but in civy dating I start them all out with the benefit of the doubt.

With SBs, most of them just haven't seen enough of the world for me to start them out with the benefit of the doubt, and the fact they have decided to be an SB at all starts them out in a subordinate role. Every now and then I meet an awesome SB who I discover is mature for her age or just generally a cut above average as a person, and at that point they start to earn more respect from me, but not until.

To back up a bit, to where I talked about being willing to cut them loose with the attitude that there's a long list of SBs behind them -- well there is if we think about it. The odds are in favor of the SD on these websites.

I do always try to have a backup plan whenever I have a scheduled date with an SB. I don't actually schedule another date then flake on it, but I do usually have some plan be mapped out in my mind in case she is a no show or the date goes sideways. For example I try to have a "second choice" SB lined up the same town that I might be able to call at the last minute and surprise her that I'm in town and see if she's able to meet. She may not be able to on such short notice, but having the contact number ready is a good idea. Beyond that I usually try to identify a bar that might be good for one-night stand potential, or maybe a strip club where I can hit up dancers for takeout or at least a number. The basic idea is not necessarily to have a guaranteed fuck laying in wait for plan be, just something that is still a good time and will make it not too much of a loss if the planned SB flakes out or won't go to the FC. If you don't have a backup plan, their radar can sense how bad you want them.

Sometimes the genuine willingness to walk away without really caring is what inspires them to cancel whatever else they have going on and follow you back to the FC. It's a lot like negotiating with a car salesman in that regard. Keyword there is GENUINE willingness. It's a hard thing to fake.