"Sugarbabies" / "Arrangements" Amateurs or Not?

[DirtyDeeds38]

I have a sort of similar question, although I am well aware that there are huge geographic differences. But my main problem seems to be figuring out when to discuss the sugar amount, if at all. In some of the other forums on USASG, $= 100.00. People seems to use $ here to just generically represent money. Some don't. I know HollywoodGuy posts amouints (I think and sorry if I got it wrong) and I think his posts will say something like $. 2, which I would interpret to be 120. So For newbies (and oldbees like me who have difficulty broaching the $ subject):

1) When do you first mention sugar?

2) Do you suggest the amount, or ask her what her expectations are?

3) What do you think you average sugar amount is, exclusive of dinner, drinks, hotel, etc. ?

4) How do you broach going to the FC at the first M&G beforehand? Are you just very direct? (and by this I mean some of you seem to pre-arrange a post M&G FC visit while emailing/texining prior to the M&G, although I realize unplanned FC visits after a M&G happen too...)

Thanks,

Norm!

To summarize with my limited experience thus far, what I can say is each and every situation is a bit unique. And honestly, that is some of the thrill of this game. If I wanted, just add water and get laid, I'd go pro. In this game, the chase is a good deal of the fun. Turning some reluctant 20-something SB into a sex maniac is the best feeling in the world. As for my average, it's been way, way too high and I'm working on this now. My first two were M&G only, before finding this site and I dropped $300 and $200 on each date for simply having dinner and drinks. Bad move. I now tell them up front, I only will pay an allowance and cash per visit when she is comfortable enough to take it to the next level. I do not pay them for M&G and I'm now upfront about that. I've been paying $300 on down to $200 per visit. This does not include some travel, hotel and usually around $150 per night for dinner and drinks. I've been averaging $600-$700 per night because of this and I'm setting up something to cut this down. I am hoping to get a location secure and be able to offer $150-$200 per FC session in the near future.

Always ask the girl what she expects first and then go from there. Always work in an angle of "per visit" payments, never a set monthly allowance. You really just need to be slick and learn how to slowly angle in this type of negotiation. You cannot just come right at them, or you will lose many good girls. Even the ones that just want to have crazy sex and get right to fucking will still play a bit of hard to get and see if you can be a gentleman. So play the game. Once you get a few under your belt, you will develop a strategy that works best for you. Mine is still in the process of evolving.

[Norm Gerd]

I've been exploring and considering the SD / SB arrangement. What kind of budget is a minimum to play? This may be out of my league, but I sure hope not! If anyone can direct me to info, it would be much appreciated!

I have a sort of similar question, although I am well aware that there are huge geographic differences. But my main problem seems to be figuring out when to discuss the sugar amount, if at all. In some of the other forums on USASG, $= 100.00. People seems to use $ here to just generically represent money. Some don't. I know HollywoodGuy posts amouints (I think and sorry if I got it wrong) and I think his posts will say something like $. 2, which I would interpret to be 120. So For newbies (and oldbees like me who have difficulty broaching the $ subject):

1) When do you first mention sugar?

2) Do you suggest the amount, or ask her what her expectations are?

3) What do you think you average sugar amount is, exclusive of dinner, drinks, hotel, etc. ?

4) How do you broach going to the FC at the first M&G beforehand? Are you just very direct? (and by this I mean some of you seem to pre-arrange a post M&G FC visit while emailing/texining prior to the M&G, although I realize unplanned FC visits after a M&G happen too...)

Thanks,

Norm!

[DirtyDeeds38]

A couple weeks ago there were comments about the status of the females. I discovered yesterday that my newest favorite is also married. So, for 2014 the totals are 2 models, single and way too high maintenance (and mediocre sex) to be married, 2 engaged, and 4 married. Of those, 2 married and one engaged have been regulars, multiple visits per month.

So. Just food for thought as to why your SO is not looking real hard at what you do, or caring that the browser's cookies are being cleaned. She might be getting what she wants from me, or someone like us. It certainly became clear to me in the civi world when I word got out that I was getting divorced 10 years ago that married women cheat just as much as men. They would show up in the middle of the day and all they were interested in was hot sweaty sex. Sound familiar? I know some of you have a thng about that, but being someone that is in the bowl because I like BB sex, the married and engaged ones almost always have the birth control thing taken care of.

Interesting in that of all seven SB's I've seen to this point, I have easily and quickly been able to find their facebook and other information via the web. A few offered it and even asked if I wanted to join them on facebook. Obviously that was a big NO. So far of all the SB's I've seen, all have been forthright in the information about themselves they have shared with me. I. E, they have all been honest. In some aspect, being so covert and secretive myself, I have some guilt about that aspect, but having learned many years ago that, "hell have no fury" I will always cover my ass.

As for the throat cancer thing, all I can say about that, is we will all meet our demise somehow one day, life is also about enjoying the ride and while I minimize risk, getting out of bed and breathing presents a risk. I've been mongering for decades off and on and always taken oral BBBJ, but covered up for intercourse, with SB's I'm willing to go uncovered start to finish. So far I've remained disease free. (knock on wood) I've assessed the risk of fucking women under age 30 and it's really quite minimal for us men. A risk I'm willing to assume.

I secured a M&G with a 19 YO little 5'1" spinner for tonight. This one will take some serious work as she has already explained a huge moral issue within herself about this. So I've viewing this one as more of a challenge and a different pace. I'm actually looking forward to the extra challenge. But having read through a few hundred past posts here, it is often the ones who have any issue or seem overly cautious with this, who end up being the quickest and the best. So we shall see.

[JZLizard]

So. Just food for thought as to why your SO is not looking real hard at what you do, or caring that the browser's cookies are being cleaned. She might be getting what she wants from me, or someone like us. It certainly became clear to me in the civi world when I word got out that I was getting divorced 10 years ago that married women cheat just as much as men. They would show up in the middle of the day and all they were interested in was hot sweaty sex.

This is very true. It can work both ways. It's something that you have to accept if you cheat, that eventually that pendulum swings in both directions. In my case I have many computers in separate room that my SO has no access to. The computer she actually does use is owned by me so I can spyware it legally without breaking felony cyberstalking laws and watch everything she does (and I do, including screen recording and keystroke logging.)

But then again I only SD about a month out of the year. If I did it year round I would be too distracted to stay on top of a real relationship, and I don't know if she would cheat first or leave first or if I would simply send her packing because the SBs are more convenient and don't come with emotional responsibility, but eventually I would have to give up my relationship with her. I just accepted that and that's one reason I do not play in the bowl at all unless she is traveling far, far away. I almost broke this rule once, coming close to a M&G with an 18 yr old mixed baby that I had already invested a lot of time warming up, but the disciplined side of me decided not to go through with it due to the risks, so I had to cut the 18 yr old loose so that one of you other horny bastards could have her. LOL.

[Beachesnole02]

A couple weeks ago there were comments about the status of the females. I discovered yesterday that my newest favorite is also married. So, for 2014 the totals are 2 models, single and way too high maintenance (and mediocre sex) to be married, 2 engaged, and 4 married. Of those, 2 married and one engaged have been regulars, multiple visits per month.

So. Just food for thought as to why your SO is not looking real hard at what you do, or caring that the browser's cookies are being cleaned. She might be getting what she wants from me, or someone like us. It certainly became clear to me in the civi world when I word got out that I was getting divorced 10 years ago that married women cheat just as much as men. They would show up in the middle of the day and all they were interested in was hot sweaty sex. Sound familiar? I know some of you have a thng about that, but being someone that is in the bowl because I like BB sex, the married and engaged ones almost always have the birth control thing taken care of.

[JZLizard]

I'm not sure what the benefit of a new thread is, but I'm happy having everything in one place. There is a thread on Performance enhancers and I like going there from time to time so I don't have to dig back through the posts. Maybe the answer is searching by title within this thread.

DATY: I will dine at that table for ever. How sweet it is! (usually).

Re: the Richmond market, I would rather rename it the generic Sugarbabies not associated with us here. I am worried that local girls might recognize the stories about themselves and be able to identify us. Perhaps it is not a good idea to let it be know what state / city we each are in. But that train has left the station unfortunately.

About the new thread and Richmond. I can see how folks outside of Richmond would like it to remain here as it detaches them a little in terms of future evidence for the SO, and folks in the Richmond market would probably rather the thread be detached from their primary city. As far as benefits there are a number of benefits I see:

1 - Right now there are a lot of other SB threads popping up in other cities. Some of those have posters that don't post here at all, yet they have good ideas, stories or relevant news article to share. If we stick to following this thread we never see them or benefit from the knowledge exchange.

2 - Even worse, I'm afraid the SDs in other cities that are not here yet will start posting here and it will just increase sequential traffic to a single thread, which will only make the thread even more difficult to follow. Once the volume hits a certain level in a single thread, things get really rough to keep up with because there's just no division or organization of information. It becomes a big cluster fuck where, when you do respond to someone's post, it ends up landing several dozen posts down and several pages away from the original message it was replying to.

3 - When I first started participating in this thread, I was wondering what some of the terms like nando 1 meant, and someone wisely suggested I catch up on the history of terminology that's been posted here. So I tried to do that. Yeah right. Like finding a needle in a haystack. I eventually figured out what I need to know but searching for specifics like that in this thread is next to impossible.

4 - Some have said they are afraid a dedicated thread that puts us too high on the radar. I personally believe that because of some of the features of this site, having a gazillion different SB threads across multiple cities actually makes the hobby higher on the radar than tucking all SD discussions into a single thread which can be branched off into sub-topics such as Addiction, Pricing, Hiding the hobby from the SO, New SD sites, Anecdotal Stories from M&G to the FC, etc.

[Member #5055]

Completely concur -- at first it seemed a good idea. But with these thoughts I agree it is better UTR.

Perhaps I'm in the minority, but I prefer to keep this topic in Richmond's backyard. It's off the beaten path a bit, which helps keep the noise down and quality high. Yes new posts appear on the front page, but there's 500 - 1000 posts a day on this site. So you have to be an active member on this site to find it and you need to know where to look to find it again.

We're also pretty open with our experiences (which BTW carries its own risks). We're from all over the country, but by having it in a sub-forum based from a modest sized southern city, it makes it harder for a casual observer to stumble on to these SB reports and start connecting dots on someone. They would have to know where to look. For the casual observer we're all in Richmond, Virgina not in their backyard so they'll skim over the topic.

So I'll probably keep posting in the Richmond topic just because I don't like making certain types of posts in the glaring spotlight. Perhaps I'm being paranoid, but having a public structured sugar baby forum and sub-forums would attract a lot of attention and potentially from some sugar babies themselves.

[FredMoore]

I'm not sure what the benefit of a new thread is, but I'm happy having everything in one place. There is a thread on Performance enhancers and I like going there from time to time so I don't have to dig back through the posts. Maybe the answer is searching by title within this thread.

DATY: I will dine at that table for ever. How sweet it is! (usually).

Re: the Richmond market, I would rather rename it the generic Sugarbabies not associated with us here. I am worried that local girls might recognize the stories about themselves and be able to identify us. Perhaps it is not a good idea to let it be know what state / city we each are in. But that train has left the station unfortunately.

[KrustyDawg7]

STDs and unprotected sex have been discussed here, but if anyone specifically talked about the possibility of getting throat cancer from eating pussy (HPV) then I missed it. I figure Michael Douglas had access to some pretty high quality pussy, so it's not like it's a threat only streetwalker mongers need to be aware of. I've eaten an awful lot of pussy in my days, and that includes my SBs. Every one of them. I would never go down on a known pro in a million years, but a lot of guys do, even guys who won't put their schlong in it without a condom for fear of STDs. Does it matter that throat cancer from DATY via HPV potentially as bad if not worse than as getting HIV. Maybe there hasn't been enough in the media about it to scare folks off? Personally this tends to concern me more than most other STD exposure types, personally. Maybe I'm just weird.

There is good evidence that an ingredient in ordinary toothpaste, sodium dodecyl sulphate can kill the HPV virus, so brushing your teeth after DATY may be a good practice. . google it.

[JZLizard]

STDs and unprotected sex have been discussed here, but if anyone specifically talked about the possibility of getting throat cancer from eating pussy (HPV) then I missed it. I figure Michael Douglas had access to some pretty high quality pussy, so it's not like it's a threat only streetwalker mongers need to be aware of. I've eaten an awful lot of pussy in my days, and that includes my SBs. Every one of them. I would never go down on a known pro in a million years, but a lot of guys do, even guys who won't put their schlong in it without a condom for fear of STDs. Does it matter that throat cancer from DATY via HPV potentially as bad if not worse than as getting HIV. Maybe there hasn't been enough in the media about it to scare folks off? Personally this tends to concern me more than most other STD exposure types, personally. Maybe I'm just weird.

[JZLizard]

Perhaps I'm in the minority, but I prefer to keep this topic in Richmond's backyard. It's off the beaten path a bit, which helps keep the noise down and quality high. Yes new posts appear on the front page, but there's 500 - 1000 posts a day on this site. So you have to be an active member on this site to find it and you need to know where to look to find it again.

We're also pretty open with our experiences (which BTW carries its own risks). We're from all over the country, but by having it in a sub-forum based from a modest sized southern city, it makes it harder for a casual observer to stumble on to these SB reports and start connecting dots on someone. They would have to know where to look. For the casual observer we're all in Richmond, Virgina not in their backyard so they'll skim over the topic.

So I'll probably keep posting in the Richmond topic just because I don't like making certain types of posts in the glaring spotlight. Perhaps I'm being paranoid, but having a public structured sugar baby forum and sub-forums would attract a lot of attention and potentially from some sugar babies themselves.

Wasn't quite sure what you mean about needing to be an active member to find posts. If you launch a browser in private mode (forgets any of your login cookie), launch the root site and click on Frequent Members enter here, you'll see the recent reports list, and "sugarbabies" almost always has an entry there, and actually stands out because the quotes. Where to look (Richmond) is also listed and linked in that same list, so even if they miss it one day they are sure to catch it the next time they even try to pay attention. I don't mean to come off as disagreeable here but I wanted to be sure we were talking about the same thing, because most web sites have multiple ways of entry.

I won't be bothered in the least if other folks don't have an interest in creation of the new topic. To be honest I do not want to be the front-runner of that effort and I do not have time to play as any sort of volunteer moderator, as I admittedly don't even read all the daily posts here (although I try to, I miss some. I'm only guaranteed to have read any post I write a response to. LOL). I just think that there are lots of sub-discussions and since none of us are ever going to remember everything that's written in the current format or even remotely be able to keep track of who said what, I thought it would be nice to get it in a format to handle the volume better. If not, that's fine too.

As far as awareness of the SD / SB hobby, I do want to point out that there is not a talk show on national network television that does not mention by name sites like SA, SD4 ME etc. Everybody knows about this hobby. Whether or not someone makes a conscious effort to join the hobby is something different. One of my SB's already alerted me to the fact that these SBs do at times discuss and review us (according to her anyway) comparing notes, so there is pretty much no escape there. I suspect we are probably more prolific with our information sharing than they are, but I've met a number of girls on there who were friends with other girls I was talking to on there (hell, it was their friend who talked them into trying the site), yet NONE of them told me they knew each other, I discovered it via Facebook research and seeing each other on their friends list. I saw a show on 20/20 or one of those programs not long ago about a website where women rate guys, giving their full name, discussing what a jerk they are, posting photos, etc. Even providing links to the guys Facebook account. This is one of the reasons none of my SBs have ever known my real name and I highly recommend other SDs with anything to lose practice the same level of covertness.

Anyway, I fully understand if folks prefer to keep posting here. I am only a seasonal SD and I probably get more than I give from this thread alone. It's really more of an entertainment source for me than something that really affects how I do things. I enjoy hearing others' experiences but I don't think my interactions with women have changed that much since I was in high school. The Internet has just made it all a little bit more efficient, especially for rapid out of town hookups.

[John G Smith]

Now that I've resolved myself to getting some on the side, I'm happier, she's happier, our relationship is better and to be honest I don't see much of a reason for our relationship to end. Assuming I don't get caught.

First off, I totally agree with what you're doing because I'm more or less in the same boat as you. I'm a big believer as Fred put it "Wives for Life, SBs for Sex", LOL. It's tacitly accepted in a lot of cultures.

That said, even though you're happier, you haven't actually fixed the relationship. You basically put a band-aid on it. If your SO was accepting of you getting your sex needs elsewhere because she couldn't provide it and you came to an agreement, then it would be truly fixed. But as you said, if you get caught, the whole thing crashes down.

I usually don't comment on another man's marriage because who am I to give advice? But it does seem you truly love your SO and value the relationship. You're not just hanging on for the assets and kids like some of us. Sugaring is a very high risk activity, in terms of how it affects a marriage the great majority of the time it doesn't end well. I'm at the point with my marriage where it's not the end of the world if I got divorced, so if at some point I make a fatal mistake with my sugar activities and I'm exposed I'll be able to accept it and move on. Also my SO is a foreigner, so she has the European view on mistresses, so even if I'm exposed I could probably bounce back providing I didn't rub it in her face or get someone knocked up. But if you highly value your relationship and your SO would be absolutely devastated if she found out you were cheating, then I would tread extremely careful. Because often times there's no going back with certain women after they're aware they've been cheated on. But if you get the vibe that she might be a little ambivalent toward mistresses and such, then you're probably in a good spot. Another thing you could try is bringing up the idea of an open relationship or try a swinging event. I've been jealous of those guys who've managed to get their long-term SO into an open relationship, understanding that our sexual needs crave variety and freshness, yet still holding on to the companionship of a long time partner.

[John G Smith]

Well I'm all in favor of anything that boosts female to male ratio, whether in the SD scene or any other scenario, but I guess I don't feel that organizing this thread would draw more men to the bowl any more than it would increase the male population of the Richmond area.

Men with sex addictions are going to be drawn to this site eventually anyway. Not everyone has the disposable income to be an SD, nor does everyone want to be. Some guys who find themselves low on motivation to exercise and eat right would be better off with escorts anyway, so if you look at the number of guys that access this forum and compare the ratio of SDs to mainstream hobbyists I think the SD population is relatively small.

I don't know, maybe I'm wrong about what would result, but I can't envision that having a dedicated forum puts us any higher on anyones radar than the subject line "Sugarbabies" showing up in the recent post summary as often as it does.

Perhaps I'm in the minority, but I prefer to keep this topic in Richmond's backyard. It's off the beaten path a bit, which helps keep the noise down and quality high. Yes new posts appear on the front page, but there's 500 - 1000 posts a day on this site. So you have to be an active member on this site to find it and you need to know where to look to find it again.

We're also pretty open with our experiences (which BTW carries its own risks). We're from all over the country, but by having it in a sub-forum based from a modest sized southern city, it makes it harder for a casual observer to stumble on to these SB reports and start connecting dots on someone. They would have to know where to look. For the casual observer we're all in Richmond, Virgina not in their backyard so they'll skim over the topic.

So I'll probably keep posting in the Richmond topic just because I don't like making certain types of posts in the glaring spotlight. Perhaps I'm being paranoid, but having a public structured sugar baby forum and sub-forums would attract a lot of attention and potentially from some sugar babies themselves.

[JZLizard]

I think we can try posting here:

http://www.usasexguide.info/forum/sh...ew-Topics-Here

And hope the admin sees it and considers it. After reading the new posts, I think discreet hobbying would be a good sub-topic where we can discuss our tools and methods to keeping things smooth at home.

Thanks, I have posted the request. Please chime in for support on post #50 at the above link if you would like to see our own topic here. I believe it will help cut down on redundant discussion and benefit us all overall by making our posts easier to organize and reference at a later date.

[Dolato]

Since it seems there is some agreement that there is a lot of value in a dedicated SD / SB forum, any thoughts on how best to request a SD section under "special interests" rather than states and cities, and collectively begin moving discussions into more organized discussions by topic that would be easier to follow (and easier to re-locate and reference old posts on a particular topic later)? I know there is an amateur section there now, but in my mind SD / SB is really its own genre or genre of sexual pursuit.

The more I think about the benefits of this rather than one massive sequential thread under the Richmond VA forum, the more it strikes me as a much-needed action.

I think we can try posting here:

http://www.usasexguide.info/forum/sh...ew-Topics-Here

And hope the admin sees it and considers it. After reading the new posts, I think discreet hobbying would be a good sub-topic where we can discuss our tools and methods to keeping things smooth at home.