"Sugarbabies" / "Arrangements" Amateurs or Not?

[DogSun]

So, I hope you never meet that rare SB that both rocks your world but has you looking at your current GF in a different light, but if you do I think you'll relate to the perils I've mentioned.

And yes, whatever you do, don't get caught. Meeting an SB that leaves you feeling mind-fucked is one thing but the feeling fades soon enough. Getting caught cheating leaves deep scars and often some level of irreparable relationship damage.

Thanks for the input Jeez. When I first met my gf, I was head over heels for her. She was and still is everything I wanted in a woman (with the exception of the sex obviously.) The fact is, my crazy desire for her has worn off at this point, much like it does in EVERY relationship after a certain period of time. We've settled into the comfort phase. We love each other, but the crazy, almost obsessive in-love feelings are gone. I have enough experience with relationships to know that this always happens in every relationship. Luckily for me, I'm still able to think predominantly with my intellect as opposed to my dick or my emotions, so even if this rare sb does come along, I'm very confident I'll be able to check myself and realize that even if this sb is rocking my world right now, those feelings are going to end at some point.

And fortunately for me, my work and home situation is very conducive to not getting caught. We live seperately, and I own my own business which allows me to work from home. Me and the gf probably only see each other 3-4 times per week, which gives me plenty of opportunity to play without too much fear.

[JZLizard]

I've read all the posts on how this lifestyle has negatively impacted your relationships with the wife / gf, but my experience has been the exact opposite.

<snipped for brevity>

Assuming I don't get caught.

It's that last sentence that's really the operative statement.

For the most part your situation is very similar to mine, except I haven't been denied sex in my relationship. She is not as sexual a person as I am or girls I've dated in the past, but it's fine enough and she's there when I need it. I'm the type that always craves variety, but I can control my craving well enough simply because I've been with enough women during my civy dating years that I've got kind of a sense of BTDT. I've come to realize that for every woman that's perfect in bed, there is some aspect to her that makes her intolerable as a partner for me. Some of the best fucks I've had were the ones that I couldn't get far enough away from after I blew my load. And naturally that's not a good trait in any sort of long-term partner, so for someone I'm going to spend lots of time around I need not only someone physically attractive but also pleasant to be around and hang out with. Much harder to find than a good fuck.

I spoke before about it taking me a full month to get back to the point of being an attentive partner to my GF. It was not because I can't handle fucking lots of random hot girls. I've been there before and while I didn't have the maturity to take it all at face value without getting addicted when I was younger, I do now. However what happened during my last SB season was different. The last SB I hooked up with had so much going on (not only perfect looks, great sex etc.) but she also exhibited the GF-like traits I mentioned above, and set off my "LTR material" alarm in a way that probably only 1% of the sugarbabies out there could ever do. By that I mean I can meet and bang hot women all day long, but it's not really that often that I meet girls that are half my age, yet exhibit maturity and intelligence of someone my age, that love sex, and not only movie-star in their looks but also (and here's the key. Compatible with me. My own personality is hard to match up with, and the fact that she was able to really left me in sort of a mind fuck.

So, I hope you never meet that rare SB that both rocks your world but has you looking at your current GF in a different light, but if you do I think you'll relate to the perils I've mentioned.

And yes, whatever you do, don't get caught. Meeting an SB that leaves you feeling mind-fucked is one thing but the feeling fades soon enough. Getting caught cheating leaves deep scars and often some level of irreparable relationship damage.

[DirtyDeeds38]

" Now that I've resolved myself to getting some on the side, I'm happier, she's happier, our relationship is better and to be honest I don't see much of a reason for our relationship to end. Assuming I don't get caught. " Dog Sun.

Welcome Brother Dog. Your experience is usually what brings us all to the cheating side of town. Inadequate, infrequent or boring sex. If only women would look the other way and allow us the leeway to satisfy our cravings there would be a lot less divorces and a lot happier marriages. It is pretty clear from relationship studies that the excitement phase (lust) of most new couples lasts 1 to 2 years, but at that point of maturation a deeper more satisfying bonding ensues (supposedly) . Some are able to maintain a high level of excitement but most are not. Therefore many couples have poor sex lives and struggle forever until the frustration is too great. Once we discover the world of sugaring, we realize that life without sex is no longer necessary and off the reservation we go. Most of us need to change sugar partners every 4 to 6 months due to staleness of sex with the same person. Sex alone is exciting but in the absence of other attractions it is not enough.

So, wives for life, SBs for sex! Amen!

I'm as red-blooded an American as you can find. With that said, I travel a lot and I have to say Europeans got a few things over on us old Americans. The wives in Europe will actually approve of their hubbies having a mistress. It's common practice. They typically have two rules, "don't bring it home and don't knock her up. " and they prefer not to have it in their face. A sort of denial thing. In France, Germany, Italy and such, it is as common as a second family car. Although perhaps not cheered about, men discuss their mistresses with their male coworkers around the water cooler. It's not a big deal. And most still cherish and love their wives and provide for them, but these cultures have accepted facts of life we Americans still tend to be in denial about.

[FredMoore]

" Now that I've resolved myself to getting some on the side, I'm happier, she's happier, our relationship is better and to be honest I don't see much of a reason for our relationship to end. Assuming I don't get caught. " Dog Sun.

Welcome Brother Dog. Your experience is usually what brings us all to the cheating side of town. Inadequate, infrequent or boring sex. If only women would look the other way and allow us the leeway to satisfy our cravings there would be a lot less divorces and a lot happier marriages. It is pretty clear from relationship studies that the excitement phase (lust) of most new couples lasts 1 to 2 years, but at that point of maturation a deeper more satisfying bonding ensues (supposedly) . Some are able to maintain a high level of excitement but most are not. Therefore many couples have poor sex lives and struggle forever until the frustration is too great. Once we discover the world of sugaring, we realize that life without sex is no longer necessary and off the reservation we go. Most of us need to change sugar partners every 4 to 6 months due to staleness of sex with the same person. Sex alone is exciting but in the absence of other attractions it is not enough.

So, wives for life, SBs for sex! Amen!

[DogSun]

I've read all the posts on how this lifestyle has negatively impacted your relationships with the wife / gf, but my experience has been the exact opposite. A little info about my situation: I have been with my very attractive girlfriend for 7 years. She's an awesome person and I've never connected with someone the way I do with her. Unfortunately, due to her stressful job and other circumstances, her libido is non-existent. Over the past 3 years, we've had sex maybe 10 times. This has caused many arguments and quite frankly, I started acting like an asshole to her because of it. Up until about a year ago, I've never cheated on any of my girlfriends and always said to myself that I would break up with a girl before cheating. But like I said, I really love this girl, and with the exception of the lack of sex, the relationship is really great and I didn't want it to end. So I decided that it would be in my best interested to start having some fun on the side.

It started with me frequenting strip clubs on a regular basis. While this was and still is fun, the obvious problem with this is that you're going home horny. So I decided to step it up a notch and start getting body rubs with a HE. I figured this would be a great way to relieve my sexual needs without really cheating (ok it's still cheating, but you get my drift.) This was and still is something I take part in and enjoy from time to time, but it wasn't enough to really satisfy my urges. So from there, I moved on to visiting escorts. I did this maybe twice and never really enjoyed the experience. Too much worry about LE, STD's, and plus the wham, bam, thank you mam style wasn't really enjoyable to me. Soon after that, I found this thread and a whole new world opened up. I've met and slept with about 5 girls so far and I must say, it's my favorite new hobby. I've gotten to experience sex with all different kinds of girls (black, white, older, younger, etc.) and while some experiences have been better than others, the excitement of searching for a new sb and then getting to explore her sexually is unmatched. Since the time I started in the SD / SB scene, my relationship with my gf has improved drastically. I no longer pester her for sex, we hardly ever fight, and we have a very loving enjoyable relationship. I've had 2 long term gf's before her, and each one ended because I had the urge to fuck other women. Now that I've resolved myself to getting some on the side, I'm happier, she's happier, our relationship is better and to be honest I don't see much of a reason for our relationship to end. Assuming I don't get caught.

[JZLizard]

I've thought of this too, however, do we really want say another 200,000 more men competing? I mean, with this hobby, I might tend to be a little selfish. Ha! I, myself, got the idea to enter this angle of the hobby from stumbling upon your little side forum going on here. Imagine if it were front page the amount of more guys who would begin seeking this hobby out? Just a though. A selfish one, but still.

Well I'm all in favor of anything that boosts female to male ratio, whether in the SD scene or any other scenario, but I guess I don't feel that organizing this thread would draw more men to the bowl any more than it would increase the male population of the Richmond area.

Men with sex addictions are going to be drawn to this site eventually anyway. Not everyone has the disposable income to be an SD, nor does everyone want to be. Some guys who find themselves low on motivation to exercise and eat right would be better off with escorts anyway, so if you look at the number of guys that access this forum and compare the ratio of SDs to mainstream hobbyists I think the SD population is relatively small.

I don't know, maybe I'm wrong about what would result, but I can't envision that having a dedicated forum puts us any higher on anyones radar than the subject line "Sugarbabies" showing up in the recent post summary as often as it does.

[HollywoodGuy]

I got teased off of a CL ad to "signup" for this. I haven't paid yet, just have a profile. Anyone have success with this?

Scammy. Don't do it. Also the same with any so called verification sites.

[DirtyDeeds38]

Since it seems there is some agreement that there is a lot of value in a dedicated SD / SB forum, any thoughts on how best to request a SD section under "special interests" rather than states and cities, and collectively begin moving discussions into more organized discussions by topic that would be easier to follow (and easier to re-locate and reference old posts on a particular topic later)? I know there is an amateur section there now, but in my mind SD / SB is really its own genre or genre of sexual pursuit.

The more I think about the benefits of this rather than one massive sequential thread under the Richmond VA forum, the more it strikes me as a much-needed action.

I've thought of this too, however, do we really want say another 200,000 more men competing? I mean, with this hobby, I might tend to be a little selfish. Ha! I, myself, got the idea to enter this angle of the hobby from stumbling upon your little side forum going on here. Imagine if it were front page the amount of more guys who would begin seeking this hobby out? Just a though. A selfish one, but still.

[FredMoore]

I got teased off of a CL ad to "signup" for this. I haven't paid yet, just have a profile. Anyone have success with this?

[JZLizard]

Since it seems there is some agreement that there is a lot of value in a dedicated SD / SB forum, any thoughts on how best to request a SD section under "special interests" rather than states and cities, and collectively begin moving discussions into more organized discussions by topic that would be easier to follow (and easier to re-locate and reference old posts on a particular topic later)? I know there is an amateur section there now, but in my mind SD / SB is really its own genre or genre of sexual pursuit.

The more I think about the benefits of this rather than one massive sequential thread under the Richmond VA forum, the more it strikes me as a much-needed action.

[DirtyDeeds38]

Fantastic update. We're all envious. Well done brother.

I've seen a lot of sugar babies and have had a variety of experiences, but the one thing I actually haven't done yet surprisingly is an overnighter. I've had long dates that lasted into the early morning hours, but I've never experienced wake-up sex with a SB. I tried setting up an overnighter twice last year, but both failed. The first time the girl just completely flaked literally at the last second and never showed up to the hotel, so I had the pleasure of spending the overnight by myself. It was a girl I had already seen but never saw or heard from her again. The other time, I actually decided to cut the date short because I just wasn't vibing at all with the girl and it just would've been painful. I haven't attempted to do overnights since because it's very difficult for me to plausibly stay away from home like that with me being married and rarely going on business trips. I might attempt an overnight this summer with one of my CL girls, but it really takes a lot of careful planning on my part and honestly it's pretty stressful. I think I need to do more legit travels away from home, then it might be easier and less stressful trying to do overnights. But the idea of waking up next to a young hottie who's eager to suck and fuck me for breakfast is the stuff of dreams. I hope to be able to check that off my bucket list at some point.

In my last post,in response to your great information on avoiding the addictive aspects to this, you can see where I had a four year affair where neither my mistress, nor my wife (at that time) knew of the other and we resided 6 miles apart. I developed some incredible cover skills.

So in response to the overnight issue, I spent a long period of time incorporating into my business (I ran my own business) a new "branch" of products and customers. This new branch inevitably had to lead me from home on regular routine trips. I built this up over a period of time and then eased into it so as not to setoff the alarms of the SO. I also, over time, brainwashed (for lack of a better term) my mistress into accepting that I took many later evening business calls and conditioned her to allowing me to step outside to take and make such calls. Over time, both women became conditioned and accepting of these scenarios and did not view them as abnormal procedure for me. It's always the abnormal behavior that sets off a woman's suspicions. This allowed me to go on regular "business" trips and when with my mistress, I was able to phone home to reassure the SO that all was normal and I was tired and going to bed for the night, etc, etc, etc. With my mistress, there were vacations, camping trips, hotel stays, staying at her apartment for days at a time. All going unsuspected by the SO. I fed the SO misinformation and left things about the home accidentally that looked suspicious, but when she checked them out, they were legit. This reinforced her belief that I was not up to something. I would intentionally send both misinformation, dead end leads, I had a checklist for checking accounts, making sure no receipts were left around, nothing left in my bag, nothing in my car, had a disposable phone I hid and locked away, knew each person's schedule. This list goes on and on and on. My point is this was with a fulltime mistress, with SB dating, you really only need cover an individual track after a date or two. Develop a full proof plan, one with spontaneous and believable excuses readily available should there be a slip. To reinforce her, leave her something that "looks" suspicious, but then when she checks it out, is totally innocent. This will quickly and affectively damper her prying into what you are doing.

If all that sounds terrible and awful, well, looking back, it probably was. LOL, however, this was a woman who denied me sex 90% of time through my 20's and 30's. And to those who say, "just leave her" well, there was a lifetime of hard work and assets that I alone built and family to consider. Easier said than done. At about 40 I finally became a man, had enough and went and started getting all the sex I could handle. I was a bit bitter from the years of infrequent and poor sex. Within a year, I had some of the best sex of my life with several women and at that point there was no looking back. Fuck loyalty and commitment, I did it for 18 years and never got anything but grief and slapped down for it. No more, I was off and running.

I am new to this entire SB thing, but like anything in my life that grabs my attention like this hobby has so far, I plan to master this. And I plan to adhere to Hollywood's plan so I can sustain myself long-term. I realize I am paying more for the time being. But I will cut back soon on the payment amount and use my skills to get more women, the keep the volume I desire. I cannot sustain $500-700 evenings for long and am aware of this fact already.

[John G Smith]

All true. All true. I started in the bowl with some funds but as the recession wore on the funds shrank dramatically. Just as I was learning the game, panic set in that I was not going to be able to continue due to my shrinking paycheck. Thats when I started doing the $ dates. More out of necessity than anything else.

Same here with the CL posts. I had to cut back late last year, so last winter out of necessity I started focusing more on CL posts. CL has a much lower volume of legit pots than the SD sites, so I figured it would be a good way to downshift my sugar activities. And with it being free, it didn't cost me anything to do a variety of experiments just for fun. My downsizing ended up working out for me because I've landed several quality SBs with modest financial needs and I also now have a very cute petite blond assistant. I started thinking out of the box when I probably wouldn't have otherwise.

So sometimes downshifting even has hidden benefits for your sugar activities, not just your finances. Both Hollywood and I have found benefits when slowing down a bit. The key thing though is to downshift before you crash the car. If I just sped through the end of last year, I would have had nothing at all, not even for CL. So I'll say it again, slowing down keeps you in the game longer.

[John G Smith]

With a wonderful night, I still think I am opting for the younger girls. Something about their inexperience and feeling like a mentor that is just too appealing to me to give that aspect up. So as amazing as this woman was, I'm going back to the younger girls. But it was a very nice change of pace with a woman who was a fucking WOMAN in every sense of the word.

Fantastic update. We're all envious. Well done brother.

I've seen a lot of sugar babies and have had a variety of experiences, but the one thing I actually haven't done yet surprisingly is an overnighter. I've had long dates that lasted into the early morning hours, but I've never experienced wake-up sex with a SB. I tried setting up an overnighter twice last year, but both failed. The first time the girl just completely flaked literally at the last second and never showed up to the hotel, so I had the pleasure of spending the overnight by myself. It was a girl I had already seen but never saw or heard from her again. The other time, I actually decided to cut the date short because I just wasn't vibing at all with the girl and it just would've been painful. I haven't attempted to do overnights since because it's very difficult for me to plausibly stay away from home like that with me being married and rarely going on business trips. I might attempt an overnight this summer with one of my CL girls, but it really takes a lot of careful planning on my part and honestly it's pretty stressful. I think I need to do more legit travels away from home, then it might be easier and less stressful trying to do overnights. But the idea of waking up next to a young hottie who's eager to suck and fuck me for breakfast is the stuff of dreams. I hope to be able to check that off my bucket list at some point.

[John G Smith]

Speaking of which, what happened to Revvo. You out there dude? Was there a formal goodbye?

I was wondering the same thing. And about Scott.

Yes this thread is huge now gong back a couple of years. But a lot of the same information cycles every 6 months. If you read about 6-8 months of posts of any period in this thread, you'll pretty much be up to speed.

[HollywoodGuy]

Man, I have nothing but respect for anyone who has the patience to do this, at 6300+ posts (some of which aren't brief). I tried once and I might have been able to do it over the course of a few nights if the server was cooperating, but loading the pages can be very slow at times, which just made it painful. The fact that the site sometimes modifies entries so that they don't read quite as smoothly as they might have originally been typed, modifying punctuation and such, can be hard on the eyes after extended periods of reading.

Another thing I found was that as I was trying to familiarize myself with who's who, a lot of the folks who posted early on are either no longer in the game or have new accounts. Maybe my problem is that I actually tried to read (and absorb) rather than just scan for highlights. But I just came to the conclusion the thread has grown too large. Even if I had read it all I wouldn't have retained and remembered everything I would have wanted to.

But yes, if anyone can do it there is lots of good info to be found. If only it weren't all lumped into one monolithic thread and were easier to sort through. Maybe the admins will consider starting a dedicated site for SD discussions, now THAT would really be useful. Not separated by city mind you (since I'm sure many of us have a working pussy-chasing radius of several hundred of miles or so), but maybe separated by different topics that relate to the SD hobby, example sub-topics being things like Cost of Entry, Addiction, etc.

Speaking of which, what happened to Revvo. You out there dude? Was there a formal goodbye?