"Sugarbabies" / "Arrangements" Amateurs or Not?

[Walruscl]

With my family situation (and the fact that I don't travel), overnights with my SB are a rare and glorious thing. Well, the stars aligned finally, and bliss ensued.

In the fantasies-I-didn't-know-I-had category, I was treated to a relentless BJ for the last fifteen minutes of the car ride after picking her up. Not sure I would do that again, and don't really recommend it, but... Wow, what a rush.

Short of a two-hour nap before having to rise and shine, it was playtime all night long. We've all heard the "all night long" line, and know that most of the time it's hyperbole. But I got to check off another fantasy from the bucket-list, because this time it was literally all night. The icing of course was that the nap didn't mark the end of the festivities, I awoke to a quick kiss then her going right back to town: extended BJ, then cowgirl because she couldn't stand it any longer.

In the wee hours she asked whether I watched porn: like, duh, what guy doesn't? So we compared our tastes, what got us off versus what we watched more as a curiousity, etc. Which is a discussion I've had with nobody else on the planet (the SO is decidedly not into porn-she doesn't mind if I am, but it's mostly don't-ask-don't-tell). So she's totally amazed that I watch porn, or more to the point, am willing to talk with her about it. And also finds it hot to be going at it while it's running in the background.

One example I showed was one of the more tasteful MFF threesomes, though I played it down as something I couldn't imagine actually doing. To which she replied, "that is *so* one of my fantasies! I really want to do that." We talked a little about what would be hot about actually doing it, but I didn't really take it seriously.

So later that day she says, "So, about that threesome thing: how do we make that happen? I *really* want to do that." I responded with the accepted wisdom from the brothers that she should probably be the one to find the other girl, since it's most important that she be comfortable. But her social circle isn't really amenable to that, so I figure for now it will be in the "fun to talk about" category. The path between just talking about it and doing it in a safe and secure fashion is such a minefield that I really don't see how we'd get there.

I know this has been discussed, and I'm pretty sure some of the brothers have done it. But my impression is that it happens usually because the girl already knows a willing partner, rather than a start-from-scratch search for a candidate like would happen here. Has anyone pulled off the latter strategy? It sure would be one hell of a fantasy to actually live, but I'm not willing to totally abandon my current risk profile for it.

What say ye?

[JZLizard]

You can receive pictures via google voice. What happens is you will get a message saying MMS Receive and the picture will be forwarded to the gmail account that your google voice is linked to.

I just use the Hushed app (they have it for iOS and Android). It's just an app that works just like your regular phone except it can keep contacts separate (you have a choice to add to Hushed contacts or phone contacts every time you add a new contact). You can passcode lock the app itself, bury it in folders so nobody even knows its on your phone, and set it up so that the incoming texts and alerts are silent. It's not completely free but it's very economical, a $10 refill goes a long way and you can just refill as an app store purchase. It supports picture messages too of course.

Google's entire business model is based on mining information about you and selling it to advertisers. I never recommend Google products to anyone seeking privacy.

I would use Hushed even if I weren't SDing occasionally just for the ease and low cost of setting up disposable phone numbers.

[Falar]

You can receive pictures via google voice. What happens is you will get a message saying MMS Receive and the picture will be forwarded to the gmail account that your google voice is linked to.

Hello and thanks to all the posters in here. There is a wealth of knowledge! I have been getting my toes wet in the bowl for the last couple of months. I have been using the free sites (or mostly free sites) to work on my game so to speak. I do have a SO and do not want that situation to change. I travel with work and set my own schedule so I have several areas where I can play in the bowl. I have had the most success on WYP site. There are costs to this site, but they do not add up to much. I have also been trying SDT site. No costs. On the SDT site, I have sent out just over 20 intro, had 4 POTs with 3 disappearing and meeting one - 19 and good to go. Just not my type. Had fun and called it quits. For the most part SDT is a waste of time. On WYP. Quality here really varies as to the local. May have to do with where they spend their advertising dollars. This may be a good way to pick which sites you use. An advertise search for that website in your bowl area? Have been really working on my intro and texting game. Sent 25-30 requests. Had about half accept and begin chatting. This site has both civi's and SB's so make sure your profile really spells out what you are looking for. Boiled it down to 4 POTS. 2 of which are not SB. S ATLSB - 19 a bit flaky but lots of fun. And countrySB. Ex barrel racer. A bit taller then me a great potential for a long term arrangement. I read somewhere, that single moms made great SB's. So far I have found this to be true in that they are not as flakey as the 18-15 single ladies are. Working on the 2 other POTS. CollegePOT disappeared 2 days ago right before our meet. Believe she is out, but time will tell. ChattPOT, meet had a great M&G and then she backed off a bit. Trying to work out being a SB instead of a GF. We keep in touch and she is still sending pics and messages, not holding my breathe but the random pics are fun!

I have taken as much advice from this site and applied it to my game. I am using google voice for text and calls as well as google mail. Only issue with this set up is I can not receive pics as texts. Rest works really well. I have set up a SD persona that does not trace back to my actual life in any way. I am able to meet and play a couple of days a week and working on setting up a SB in each major city I travel too. This means each SB will get 2-5 dates a month. Ideally of course.

My question now. Do I keep playing in WYP or do I move on to SDFM, SA, other sites? I have a non paying profile on SBFM and have received a ton of emails. -- I believe most of these are fake as I do not have a pic on the site and a limited profile. I am not sure about SA because I have not found a way to do any free searches in my target areas. My target areas are Nashville, Lexington, Atlanta, Chattanooga and Asheville.

Thanks again for all the help. Indirectly and directly!

[CaneBay]

Hello and thanks to all the posters in here. There is a wealth of knowledge! I have been getting my toes wet in the bowl for the last couple of months. I have been using the free sites (or mostly free sites) to work on my game so to speak. I do have a SO and do not want that situation to change. I travel with work and set my own schedule so I have several areas where I can play in the bowl. I have had the most success on WYP site. There are costs to this site, but they do not add up to much. I have also been trying SDT site. No costs. On the SDT site, I have sent out just over 20 intro, had 4 POTs with 3 disappearing and meeting one - 19 and good to go. Just not my type. Had fun and called it quits. For the most part SDT is a waste of time. On WYP. Quality here really varies as to the local. May have to do with where they spend their advertising dollars. This may be a good way to pick which sites you use. An advertise search for that website in your bowl area? Have been really working on my intro and texting game. Sent 25-30 requests. Had about half accept and begin chatting. This site has both civi's and SB's so make sure your profile really spells out what you are looking for. Boiled it down to 4 POTS. 2 of which are not SB. S ATLSB - 19 a bit flaky but lots of fun. And countrySB. Ex barrel racer. A bit taller then me a great potential for a long term arrangement. I read somewhere, that single moms made great SB's. So far I have found this to be true in that they are not as flakey as the 18-15 single ladies are. Working on the 2 other POTS. CollegePOT disappeared 2 days ago right before our meet. Believe she is out, but time will tell. ChattPOT, meet had a great M&G and then she backed off a bit. Trying to work out being a SB instead of a GF. We keep in touch and she is still sending pics and messages, not holding my breathe but the random pics are fun!

I have taken as much advice from this site and applied it to my game. I am using google voice for text and calls as well as google mail. Only issue with this set up is I can not receive pics as texts. Rest works really well. I have set up a SD persona that does not trace back to my actual life in any way. I am able to meet and play a couple of days a week and working on setting up a SB in each major city I travel too. This means each SB will get 2-5 dates a month. Ideally of course.

My question now. Do I keep playing in WYP or do I move on to SDFM, SA, other sites? I have a non paying profile on SBFM and have received a ton of emails. -- I believe most of these are fake as I do not have a pic on the site and a limited profile. I am not sure about SA because I have not found a way to do any free searches in my target areas. My target areas are Nashville, Lexington, Atlanta, Chattanooga and Asheville.

Thanks again for all the help. Indirectly and directly!

[FredMoore]

Sooooooooo I got a delicate situation at hand. 3 months ago a SB sends me a text saying she lost it. I'm thinking she lost her mind or lost her house. She goes around in circles and finally tells me she lost the baby. Hmmm? I had no idea she was pregnant and 3 months into the pregnancy for that matter. I'm saddened and relieved but still, why wait 3 months to inform me? Fast forward to now. She admits to lying about the miscarriage so now she is 7 months and every now and then, she sends a picture of the tummy. Well, (Gulp) let's see. She is pretty independent, she says she doesn't need me, she says she can handle this on her own and she lives 1500 miles away. Am I on a clear path to home plate or will there be problems up ahead? In other words, can she say she has no clue as to who the father is or how will all this play out?

Hope that she is not a scammer and that she can handle this baby on her own. Since she lives so far away and I'm guessing you don't see her that often the odds are good that she has another (s) regular guys in her life and that someone else is the baby daddy. She will go to someone for child support, why wouldn't she? Since she isn't hitting you up she probably knows you aren't the Daddy. If she asks for support at least you can demand a paternity test.

[WoodSlinger]

I basically screwed my self on this one. She has my real name (first & last,) cell (not the bootleg # and the city & state that I call home. I pulled out each time but that didn't do any good. I have sent her countless pictures, texts, & had endless conversations when we first met. You know how when you first meet and get the digits? You send a face pic, chest pic, shower pic etc... She has everything she needs to tarnish my clean slate that I had going. 30 years old, steady job, no kids you name it. Now I'm at her mercy.

Well don't let her know that. You also might just want to lay low, if she comes after you..get a paternity test. You might not be the one that was actually dumping their nuts in her.

[Golfcart]

If she runs into trouble and uses any social services in her state, that agency will reach out to your state agency, they will reach out to you, and you will be the newest member of the "cha-ching" tribe.

Girls are often times wrong about who deposited the magic potion. The DNA test will exclude LoriTruck unless he or his identical twin brother happens to be the Daddy.

[Whathesaid]

Sooooooooo I got a delicate situation at hand. 3 months ago a SB sends me a text saying she lost it. I'm thinking she lost her mind or lost her house. She goes around in circles and finally tells me she lost the baby. Hmmm? I had no idea she was pregnant and 3 months into the pregnancy for that matter. I'm saddened and relieved but still, why wait 3 months to inform me? Fast forward to now. She admits to lying about the miscarriage so now she is 7 months and every now and then, she sends a picture of the tummy. Well, (Gulp) let's see. She is pretty independent, she says she doesn't need me, she says she can handle this on her own and she lives 1500 miles away. Am I on a clear path to home plate or will there be problems up ahead? In other words, can she say she has no clue as to who the father is or how will all this play out?

If she runs into trouble and uses any social services in her state, that agency will reach out to your state agency, they will reach out to you, and you will be the newest member of the "cha-ching" tribe.

[LoriTruck]

I would have to ask you..."Does she have any of your personal information?" Your real name...cell number? Did you cover your tracks at all? Use a burner email? Phone? That's what I do...and connect to the internet for your hunting and connecting via a private anonymous VPN?

I would venture to say that you probably did not cover all of your bases and if push came to shove she could get the courts to subpoena IP information, cell records etc.

Tough position I would never want to be in..makes me regret the few times that I too went bareback with a SB.

I basically screwed my self on this one. She has my real name (first & last,) cell (not the bootleg # and the city & state that I call home. I pulled out each time but that didn't do any good. I have sent her countless pictures, texts, & had endless conversations when we first met. You know how when you first meet and get the digits? You send a face pic, chest pic, shower pic etc... She has everything she needs to tarnish my clean slate that I had going. 30 years old, steady job, no kids you name it. Now I'm at her mercy.

[JZLizard]

Sooooooooo I got a delicate situation at hand. 3 months ago a SB sends me a text saying she lost it. I'm thinking she lost her mind or lost her house. She goes around in circles and finally tells me she lost the baby. Hmmm? I had no idea she was pregnant and 3 months into the pregnancy for that matter. I'm saddened and relieved but still, why wait 3 months to inform me? Fast forward to now. She admits to lying about the miscarriage so now she is 7 months and every now and then, she sends a picture of the tummy. Well, (Gulp) let's see. She is pretty independent, she says she doesn't need me, she says she can handle this on her own and she lives 1500 miles away. Am I on a clear path to home plate or will there be problems up ahead? In other words, can she say she has no clue as to who the father is or how will all this play out?

Delicate situation indeed, the lying and the game playing so far would give me great concern. I would start slowly building a story of my own that would help to separate me from the situation. Some sort of job or health related tragedy that unfolds slowly over time but basically sends a message to her that you will probably be bankrupt or disabled going forward (I.e. Not a good extortion target).

How much does she know about you (real name, etc)?

[WoodSlinger]

Sooooooooo I got a delicate situation at hand. 3 months ago a SB sends me a text saying she lost it. I'm thinking she lost her mind or lost her house. She goes around in circles and finally tells me she lost the baby. Hmmm? I had no idea she was pregnant and 3 months into the pregnancy for that matter. I'm saddened and relieved but still, why wait 3 months to inform me? Fast forward to now. She admits to lying about the miscarriage so now she is 7 months and every now and then, she sends a picture of the tummy. Well, (Gulp) let's see. She is pretty independent, she says she doesn't need me, she says she can handle this on her own and she lives 1500 miles away. Am I on a clear path to home plate or will there be problems up ahead? In other words, can she say she has no clue as to who the father is or how will all this play out?

I would have to ask you..."Does she have any of your personal information?" Your real name...cell number? Did you cover your tracks at all? Use a burner email? Phone? That's what I do...and connect to the internet for your hunting and connecting via a private anonymous VPN?

I would venture to say that you probably did not cover all of your bases and if push came to shove she could get the courts to subpoena IP information, cell records etc.

Tough position I would never want to be in..makes me regret the few times that I too went bareback with a SB.

[LoriTruck]

Sooooooooo I got a delicate situation at hand. 3 months ago a SB sends me a text saying she lost it. I'm thinking she lost her mind or lost her house. She goes around in circles and finally tells me she lost the baby. Hmmm? I had no idea she was pregnant and 3 months into the pregnancy for that matter. I'm saddened and relieved but still, why wait 3 months to inform me? Fast forward to now. She admits to lying about the miscarriage so now she is 7 months and every now and then, she sends a picture of the tummy. Well, (Gulp) let's see. She is pretty independent, she says she doesn't need me, she says she can handle this on her own and she lives 1500 miles away. Am I on a clear path to home plate or will there be problems up ahead? In other words, can she say she has no clue as to who the father is or how will all this play out?

[Happy Lover]

The optimal circumstance for an SD is an out of town travel schedule. Playing at home is hard to do since it is hard to explain hours off the grid or sightings in public by friends of the "family" Once you are busted it becomes necessary to account for your movements if your SO calls / texts and expects an answer. That dreaded "where are / were you? " turns my blood cold.

Ashley Madison is well covered here, so check out the history JL. Briefly, I have had zero luck as have most of the brothers. You have to be younger and "date " worthy for a cougar. There are some young hotties but they are pickier due to the huge male / female discrepancy and motivation is less since they generally are not looking for money. There are exceptions like in everything. Some singles are SBs in disguise.

One of the things that I've had to do is set the expectation of communication in the wake of last years discovery. Ignore her call and get back to her a couple of hours later when you have an ironclad alibi (out with mutual friends, etc). Do this from time to time. Blame it on the ringer, cell service, ambient noise, whatever. It becomes more of the norm and lessons her anxiety when you don't pick up or get back to her right away. After a month or two, you'll feel comfortable enough for play time and she won't go ballistic when you don't pick up.

[ChiGuy606]

Many of us want to stay married for a variety of reasons, and have to work through barrels of well earned shit. This is my situation. I still dabble and keep an occasional FB but can no longer pursue a full on SB search. The antennae are up and suspicion is high and every move is monitored. What a life -eh?

This pretty much explains my situation right now exactly.

I have 2 leftovers from when I was fully in the bowl, and they are both wonderful women to be able to let me see them on a very occasional basis. Other than that, I can no longer afford the time to be fully invested in the bowl like I was last year.

Even if I never return, I will take with me memories that will last me my whole life. It truly was one hell of a ride while it lasted!

[FredMoore]

The optimal circumstance for an SD is an out of town travel schedule. Playing at home is hard to do since it is hard to explain hours off the grid or sightings in public by friends of the "family" Once you are busted it becomes necessary to account for your movements if your SO calls / texts and expects an answer. That dreaded "where are / were you? " turns my blood cold.

Ashley Madison is well covered here, so check out the history JL. Briefly, I have had zero luck as have most of the brothers. You have to be younger and "date " worthy for a cougar. There are some young hotties but they are pickier due to the huge male / female discrepancy and motivation is less since they generally are not looking for money. There are exceptions like in everything. Some singles are SBs in disguise.