Massage Parlor Reports

[Craven Morehed]

Haha! You are so right. Where do these mostly 50-ish women get such a grip? I wonder if there is a training class for them!

They failed Happy Ending training, their kung fu grip was choking the chicken.

[Smoke Screen]

business must be real bad for them to go that far, but I can't envision this policy making it any better.

Another possibility is perhaps the 1st girl knew that the 2nd girl was much better than her, so you would pick the 2nd, leaving the 1st with nothing. So if you paid, she would not be empty handed. What a way to lose customers.

[Ford1951]

NMS used to be one of my favorite places. I visited recently and was disappointed, the massage was good, and the finish was as expected, but the downside started first in the Table Shower, after geting off the table I noticed that I was standing in water, my provider also noticed this, and when I looked down the drain was clogged with a huge hairball. Gross, one of you hairy bastards must have been in before me LOL, she just kicked it aside and we proceeded to the room, after completition was the second downer, my provider just smoothed the wrinkles out of the sheet and left it on the table. This place used to be immaculate and it will be a long time if I even ever go back.

[Rei Haragoma]

They always used to give a line up without us asking. Business must be real bad for them to go that far.

Well, it's one of the few MP's I have never been to in all of my travels to RI, over the years.

And, I was bored out of my skull last night, and decided to check out a few places that I haven't visited, just for grins and giggles. I was aware of course, of the negative reviews others had written, and really had no intention of becoming a customer, I just wanted to see for myself.

I was really stunned when she asked for the money to see the other girl. In all of the visits I have made to AMP's over the years, never have I been asked for money to view a lineup, even at those AMP's at which I was a first-time customer.

I think you're right: business must be real bad for them to go that far, but I can't envision this policy making it any better.

[Smoke Screen]

Last evening, as I am writing my newest thesis, hopefully, for my third PhD in Computer Science, to be submitted to M. I. T. (my others are from Harvard and Yale,) I developed the dreaded "Writer's Block." I called a fellow Mensa member for advice, as he usually has a solution to overcome it, which is why his PhD's are in Stylized Writing and the Effects of Temporary Inability to Compose Rhetoric for the Masses. (SWETICRM)

As expected, he offered a solution which seemed to be palpable, and it was: to change the subject at hand; embark on one alien from that on which I was writing my thesis, I. E, perform some investigative reporting.

I thought to myself how brilliant! But of course, what else would one expect from a member of Mensa?

So, utilizing a computer software program that earned my second PhD, I input data for all of the American-themed providers at MP's in the RI area, and let the software suggest which one should be investigated that evening.

Surprisingly, there was only one named: Simple Pleasures in Central Falls. The software also stated that there had been many negative reports written already by others for this one MP, and that an additional report most likely would only be deemed by the reader to be superfluous. I was skeptical of the result, so I changed some variables in the software, re-compiled it, and ran it again; but was given the same results.

Having the greatest of confidence in my software's analysis; I donned my softest Fedora hat, Brooks Brothers outer garment, and set off in the CL230 for Central Falls.

Arriving at my destination, I entered the edifice, and was greeted by an attractive (non-Asian) woman, who led me to a smallish room, whereupon she stated that only she and another provider were available, and then, asked for the house fee. I told her that I was at her place of business only as an observer, that I had not given her any indication that I was going to avail myself of whatever services the establishment provided just yet, and to please allow me to observe the other person, so that I might be able to choose between them; which as a customer, is my prerogative.

She responded that there would be a $20. 00 fee in order for this to take place. I responded in the most incredulous manner: "$20. 00 is to be paid to the establishment in order to view additional providers?" She responded in the affirmative.

I, in turn, responded in the negative; turned on my heel; abjured the location, and drove home, refreshed by my experience enough so that I could continue to work on my thesis.

DISCLAIMER:

If the casual reader of this report takes the preceding paragraphs (except for the SP part,) as fact; I hasten to state that they are crap. Bullshit, even.

And so too, is the fee SP wants to charge to view additional providers. Can you believe it? Well, do, as she was serious. Just unbelievable. According to my software program, a long time in business is not predicted for SP.

They always used to give a line up without us asking. Business must be real bad for them to go that far.

[Rei Haragoma]

You can never pry the money out of Mamason's iron grip.

Haha! You are so right. Where do these mostly 50-ish women get such a grip? I wonder if there is a training class for them!

[HappyDave]

Okay, and thanks for the suggestions. Next time I wear my reporter's hat, I will investigate each provider THOROUGHLY in order to determine their physical trimness, and how alike to a cue ball they are, as well as all other attributes, such as height, hair color, tats, etc. Look for a future report!

By the way, I also like my provider to be as you do. The only exception is boobs. I detest large, or silicone enhanced boobs. Give me natural!

Sorry, but it still goes against my nature to pay even one thin dime to view a lineup of any providers, in any MP, Asian or not. If we start paying to view a lineup, what will follow? A fee for towels? A fee for a bottle of water? Mouthwash? To offset the cost of the water used in the shower? The covering? As an example, look how the major airlines started out with a small fee here and there, and now, it costs almost as much for these additional fees as it does for the ticket itself!

I've always been of the opinion that presenting a lineup to a potential customer was in part, to secure his approval, as men are by nature, visually stimulated; and thus perhaps, it would make for a repeat customer, since the MP manager should know that physical attraction toward a provider is the first step in securing that satisfaction, and hopefully, a repeat of his business.

Just sayin'.

Silly Monger Tits are for kids. That said I would never pay for a lineup in fact would not pay the house fee until I was satisfied. You can never pry the money out of Mamason's iron grip.

[Flamebird]

Myself I like my Asian spinners to be very well trim if not smooth as a Q ball. I think a line up to see that at OS especially as the were in the old day's may just be worth the $20. 00.

But only if the fee was deductible from the house fee if you accepted a lady! .... After all, OS old days it was pretty much guaranteed that you would be happy with at least one girl

[Rei Haragoma]

Myself I like my Asian spinners to be very well trim if not smooth as a Q ball. I think a line up to see that at OS especially as the were in the old day's may just be worth the $20. 00.

Okay, and thanks for the suggestions. Next time I wear my reporter's hat, I will investigate each provider THOROUGHLY in order to determine their physical trimness, and how alike to a cue ball they are, as well as all other attributes, such as height, hair color, tats, etc. Look for a future report!

By the way, I also like my provider to be as you do. The only exception is boobs. I detest large, or silicone enhanced boobs. Gimme natural!

Sorry, but it still goes against my nature to pay even one thin dime to view a lineup of any providers, in any MP, Asian or not. If we start paying to view a lineup, what will follow? A fee for towels? A fee for a bottle of water? Mouthwash? To offset the cost of the water used in the shower? The covering? As an example, look how the major airlines started out with a small fee here and there, and now, it costs almost as much for these additional fees as it does for the ticket itself!

I've always been of the opinion that presenting a lineup to a potential customer was in part, to secure his approval, as men are by nature, visually stimulated; and thus perhaps, it would make for a repeat customer, since the MP manager should know that physical attraction toward a provider is the first step in securing that satisfaction, and hopefully, a repeat of his business.

Just sayin'.

[HappyDave]

Thanks for the suggestion!

And, it would be of immense help to me if you could suggest topics for those areas you mentioned that ought to be explored in-depth.

Which will help me twofold: become a better Investigative Reporter, and supply material for my as of yet, unfinished thesis.

Myself I like my Asian spinners to be very well trim if not smooth as a Q ball. I think a line up to see that at OS especially as the were in the old day's may just be worth the $20. 00.

[Rei Haragoma]

Good thing the little head wasn't doing the thinking. You would have been down $20

One of the first rules of Investigative Reporting is that the little head must be muzzled, and physically restrained.

[Rei Haragoma]

Cannot wait for your next Novel about travels to the Far East, Central Falls or Federal Hill. Should be better content with those.

Thanks for the suggestion!

And, it would be of immense help to me if you could suggest topics for those areas you mentioned that ought to be explored in-depth.

Which will help me twofold: become a better Investigative Reporter, and supply material for my as of yet, unfinished thesis.

[Craven Morehed]

She responded that there would be a $20. 00 fee in order for this to take place. I responded in the most incredulous manner: "$20. 00 is to be paid to the establishment in order to view additional providers?" She responded in the affirmative.

I, in turn, responded in the negative; turned on my heel; abjured the location, and drove home, refreshed by my experience enough so that I could continue to work on my thesis.

Good thing the little head wasn't doing the thinking. You would have been down $20

[HappyDave]

Cannot wait for your next Novel about travels to the Far East, Central Falls or Federal Hill. Should be better content with those.

Last evening, as I am writing my newest thesis, hopefully, for my third PhD in Computer Science, to be submitted to M. I. T. (my others are from Harvard and Yale,) I developed the dreaded "Writer's Block." I called a fellow Mensa member for advice, as he usually has a solution to overcome it, which is why his PhD's are in Stylized Writing and the Effects of Temporary Inability to Compose Rhetoric for the Masses. (SWETICRM)

As expected, he offered a solution which seemed to be palpable, and it was: to change the subject at hand; embark on one alien from that on which I was writing my thesis, I. E, perform some investigative reporting.

I thought to myself how brilliant! But of course, what else would one expect from a member of Mensa?

So, utilizing a computer software program that earned my second PhD, I input data for all of the American-themed providers at MP's in the RI area, and let the software suggest which one should be investigated that evening.

Surprisingly, there was only one named: Simple Pleasures in Central Falls. The software also stated that there had been many negative reports written already by others for this one MP, and that an additional report most likely would only be deemed by the reader to be superfluous. I was skeptical of the result, so I changed some variables in the software, re-compiled it, and ran it again; but was given the same results.

Having the greatest of confidence in my software's analysis; I donned my softest Fedora hat, Brooks Brothers outer garment, and set off in the CL230 for Central Falls.

Arriving at my destination, I entered the edifice, and was greeted by an attractive (non-Asian) woman, who led me to a smallish room, whereupon she stated that only she and another provider were available, and then, asked for the house fee. I told her that I was at her place of business only as an observer, that I had not given her any indication that I was going to avail myself of whatever services the establishment provided just yet, and to please allow me to observe the other person, so that I might be able to choose between them; which as a customer, is my prerogative.

She responded that there would be a $20. 00 fee in order for this to take place. I responded in the most incredulous manner: "$20. 00 is to be paid to the establishment in order to view additional providers?" She responded in the affirmative.

I, in turn, responded in the negative; turned on my heel; abjured the location, and drove home, refreshed by my experience enough so that I could continue to work on my thesis.

DISCLAIMER:

If the casual reader of this report takes the preceding paragraphs (except for the SP part,) as fact; I hasten to state that they are crap. Bullshit, even.

And so too, is the fee SP wants to charge to view additional providers. Can you believe it? Well, do, as she was serious. Just unbelievable. According to my software program, a long time in business is not predicted for SP.

[Rei Haragoma]

Last evening, as I am writing my newest thesis, hopefully, for my third PhD in Computer Science, to be submitted to M. I. T. (my others are from Harvard and Yale,) I developed the dreaded "Writer's Block." I called a fellow Mensa member for advice, as he usually has a solution to overcome it, which is why his PhD's are in Stylized Writing and the Effects of Temporary Inability to Compose Rhetoric for the Masses. (SWETICRM)

As expected, he offered a solution which seemed to be palpable, and it was: to change the subject at hand; embark on one alien from that on which I was writing my thesis, I. E, perform some investigative reporting.

I thought to myself how brilliant! But of course, what else would one expect from a member of Mensa?

So, utilizing a computer software program that earned my second PhD, I input data for all of the American-themed providers at MP's in the RI area, and let the software suggest which one should be investigated that evening.

Surprisingly, there was only one named: Simple Pleasures in Central Falls. The software also stated that there had been many negative reports written already by others for this one MP, and that an additional report most likely would only be deemed by the reader to be superfluous. I was skeptical of the result, so I changed some variables in the software, re-compiled it, and ran it again; but was given the same results.

Having the greatest of confidence in my software's analysis; I donned my softest Fedora hat, Brooks Brothers outer garment, and set off in the CL230 for Central Falls.

Arriving at my destination, I entered the edifice, and was greeted by an attractive (non-Asian) woman, who led me to a smallish room, whereupon she stated that only she and another provider were available, and then, asked for the house fee. I told her that I was at her place of business only as an observer, that I had not given her any indication that I was going to avail myself of whatever services the establishment provided just yet, and to please allow me to observe the other person, so that I might be able to choose between them; which as a customer, is my prerogative.

She responded that there would be a $20. 00 fee in order for this to take place. I responded in the most incredulous manner: "$20. 00 is to be paid to the establishment in order to view additional providers?" She responded in the affirmative.

I, in turn, responded in the negative; turned on my heel; abjured the location, and drove home, refreshed by my experience enough so that I could continue to work on my thesis.

DISCLAIMER:

If the casual reader of this report takes the preceding paragraphs (except for the SP part,) as fact; I hasten to state that they are crap. Bullshit, even.

And so too, is the fee SP wants to charge to view additional providers. Can you believe it? Well, do, as she was serious. Just unbelievable. According to my software program, a long time in business is not predicted for SP.