"Sugarbabies" / "Arrangements" Amateurs or Not?

**Graham111** · 01-13-13 09:10

I do provide a gift card, normally Starbucks for $10-$15. This was a suggestion from Mandy I thought Mandy I thought was a good idea. Since a long term SB will require significantly more than that I see it as an investment. Unless she is not going to get another chance, in which case I shut down and move on ASAP.

**SubCmdr** · 01-13-13 07:17

Revvo,

I'm not giving these garden tools jack on a M&G. The M&G is a job interview. Pure and simple. When was the last time an employer paid you for your time for a job interview. Expenses to travel and go through the interview yes. Pay no.

By providing a gift initially you are sending the wrong message."I'm a sucker and I will give even though I don't get jack." Oh no, that's not me! Now if you ain't got no game and can't rap to these garden tools then yes, use brute force and throw some money at them in the form of a gift.

Got to keep the CPO low. I've said in the past the Cmdr's pockets ani't fat so I be counting dem digits.

Subcmdr out!

Originally Posted by Revvo [View Original Post]

Guys I am new to this forum. I have spent quite some time in the Stripclub world and I am intriqued by the SD / SB option. I have been voraciously reading the reports on here and I am learning.

I have quite a few take out situations with strippers but that can lead to quite a bit of drama. I Have read about 1/4 of the way through and will continue to read it.

But I did have one small question. Do you bring a gift to the first meeting or M&G with a prospective SB?

If so what is considered an approriate gift? Something small I would think?

Thanks,

Revvo

**AliasSM** · 01-13-13 06:44

Revvo. First, welcome to the best forum on the site and probably one of the most extensive discussions of the SD / SB scene on the Internet. We look forward to your contributions in the future.

You will find extensive discussion of the question you pose throughout the forum, but I'm not sure you will find agreement. As with a lot of other things in life, the answer depends on a number of variables. I have tried both approaches and really can't say that the gift has made much of a difference one way or the other by improving the potential for an eventual trip to the FC. My gifts are usually small tokens though ($50 range) , so who knows if a larger amount would provide different results.

A lot also depends on the SB you are trying to seduce. But to summarize the input I recall from the experienced members on this board, it is not considered "mandatory" from most contributors on here. In fact, you will often see advice not to spend ANY money on a potential SB until a FC visit has been consummated. I think that view is a little extreme (I always pay for a nice lunch, dinner, whatever as part of the first date. Occasionally, depending on how much I want to impress the pot SB, I will include a gift. I never pay a substantial amount of money out of pocket until after the first "successful" meeting in the FC.

You will find many variations on this theme throughout the forum though. Some on here believe that spreading the sugar early and often is a wise investment. I think the final answer for you may depend more on YOUR financial situation. If you have a lot of discretionary cash, out of view of your wife or SO, it is much easier to get off on the right foot by turning it into sugar and hoping for a return on the investment sometime later.

Again, enjoy the hobby and welcome to the group.

Alias.

Originally Posted by Revvo [View Original Post]

Guys I am new to this forum. I have spent quite some time in the Stripclub world and I am intriqued by the SD / SB option. I have been voraciously reading the reports on here and I am learning.

I have quite a few take out situations with strippers but that can lead to quite a bit of drama. I Have read about 1/4 of the way through and will continue to read it.

But I did have one small question. Do you bring a gift to the first meeting or M&G with a prospective SB?

If so what is considered an approriate gift? Something small I would think?

Thanks,

Revvo

**Revvo** · 01-12-13 17:27

Guys I am new to this forum. I have spent quite some time in the Stripclub world and I am intriqued by the SD / SB option. I have been voraciously reading the reports on here and I am learning.

I have quite a few take out situations with strippers but that can lead to quite a bit of drama. I Have read about 1/4 of the way through and will continue to read it.

But I did have one small question. Do you bring a gift to the first meeting or M&G with a prospective SB?

If so what is considered an approriate gift? Something small I would think?

Thanks,

Revvo

**Max899** · 01-10-13 22:25

I'm on my way to meet a pot SB right now, I'll let you know how it turns out.

Max

**SubCmdr** · 01-10-13 19:18

The title we place on our relationship partners is irrelevant. The relevant factor in ANY relationship is if are we satisfied with it. What I read in the forum is a attempt to make one type of relationship perfect for all needs. That is not possible. What is possible is to discuss with our relationship partners our true needs. And to establish the boundaries needed for each party to feel satisfied and secure in the relationship. When that is done, the title of our partner does not matter. We joyfully provide the needs of our partner as long our partner provides the needs that we desire. The real problem is lack of honesty. We don't deal with or partners in a intellectually, spiritually, emotionally and otherwise honest manner. When we do that. When we are dishonest. We fail our partners and most of all we fail ourselves.

Subcmdr out!

**F Scott** · 01-10-13 12:10

Originally Posted by Hernando [View Original Post]

" Can you take an amazing CG that you connect with well and bring her into a SB role?" Max899.

Max, tread softly here. You can take the girl out of the country but you can't take the country out of the girl. Whaaaat? I think Elvis or somebody said that. But my point is that she is imprinted into that lifestyle just like we are in the Sugar World. She is used to having multiple guys on tap for a larger payday than probably you are willing to give her, if she is halfway successful. A beautiful escort I once knew told me she earned $180, 000 / year running her ass off but still ____. Obviously your CG hasn't jumped at the bait you dangled so she wants the independence, money, and probably lack of intimacy she achieves with you and her other Johns. Just enjoy her when you are together and keep looking for a real SB to fill that role for you.

I totally agree with Nando on this one. There is a difference in intent in the mind of a CG vs an SB, and while I do not want to drag out the tired old debate about it all being prostitution, I would also argue that it is likely she has crossed the line, in her mind, and would be hard to "deprogram." Plus, if you did get her to agree to be your SB, I'm guessing access to the kitty would diminish. You know the old joke,"How do you stop having sex with your girlfriend? Marry her", or something like that. The Bowl is a lot of work, with uncertainty being a constant, as you know if you have read this thread. Even the most dependable SBs can become flighty from time to time. As Nando said, enjoy your special CG as often as you can. If you fill her dance card with regularity, what does it really matter what she does for a living? If the time together is as great as you say, why take the chance of fucking that up?

Onward,

Scott

**Hernando** · 01-10-13 11:54

" Can you take an amazing CG that you connect with well and bring her into a SB role?" Max899.

Max, tread softly here. You can take the girl out of the country but you can't take the country out of the girl. Whaaaat? I think Elvis or somebody said that. But my point is that she is imprinted into that lifestyle just like we are in the Sugar World. She is used to having multiple guys on tap for a larger payday than probably you are willing to give her, if she is halfway successful. A beautiful escort I once knew told me she earned $180, 000 / year running her ass off but still ____. Obviously your CG hasn't jumped at the bait you dangled so she wants the independence, money, and probably lack of intimacy she achieves with you and her other Johns. Just enjoy her when you are together and keep looking for a real SB to fill that role for you.

**CantWinLosin** · 01-10-13 07:42

Originally Posted by Hernando [View Original Post]

If we all spend as much time and energy on our legit endeavors we would be happily married kings of industry.

I'd venture to say that for that sort of guys, the pursuit of that business throne *is* their sex. We pursue what we crave.

**Golfcart** · 01-10-13 03:58

Operator error here.

**Golfcart** · 01-10-13 03:53

Originally Posted by F Scott [View Original Post]

*** The whole thing has made me think back on the many, and creative, excuses I have gotten from babies for missing their appointments. ***

Scott, she know she can because she did. The fat and ugly ones don't play games.

**Max899** · 01-10-13 02:35

From the Las Vegas non-pro thread.

Originally Posted by Max899 [View Original Post]

I had another wonderful time with my UTR girl. She came over Saturday about 5pm. She let me take her to dinner afterward. She wanted Pizza and I was thinking the same thing. Total damage including pizza was 2.90. However 2.5 hours was given including dinner. She is amazingly sweet and nice, I can't get enough of her. I asked her what her thoughts were about a sugar daddy / sugar baby relationship were. She was non-committal. I suppose I should have expected that. What is the general thinking on converting a hot 21 yr old from a CG to a SB?

I have been reading your thread quite a bit and decided to ask the same question here. Can you take an amazing CG that you connect with well and bring her into a SB role? I would love to hear your thoughts on this, or if you have tried and what the results were.

Thanks!

Max

**Hernando** · 01-09-13 12:23

" The sugar world has been a way for me to be content in my current marriage situation." John G Smith.

This my friends, is the common thread in this world. I have counseled extensively trying to find the magic answer for my discontent, and no one has it. The bottom line is to suck it up and try to make the most of a less than perfect situation or change it up. Divorce is so radical but perhaps the best long term solution because one can be free to pursue happiness openly instead of on the down low. But. , and there are lots of buts. Money, children, society, job are all impacted, but the impact is greater still if you are caught in flagrente dilicto (sic?) There is a great deal of energy spent planning a tryst. 1st finding a POT, meeting and wooing her, setting up the FC, arranging the $$$ under the radar, hitting the right blend of communication and interaction between NSA vs emotional attachment. Whew! It's exhausting! If we all spend as much time and energy on our legit endeavors we would be happily married kings of industry.

Soooo, to play or not to play, that is the question. And since you are reading this you have chosen to play. I must say, I really like the energy of the Sugar Bowl. It is exciting and fun as hell. Maybe the danger adds that extra zing to life. And nothing is better than popping a HCB SB (or whatever your choice of treat is ). I have happily settled down with one SB so do not have the stories to tell like you entertaining Lotharios, but I enjoy hearing them immensely. I am pursuing emotional attachment instead of multifucking at the moment My SB is very reliable, always considerate, and a pleasure to be around. I love 20 somethings!

**AliasSM** · 01-09-13 06:27

Good information to share and timing is good as usual. Just got stood up today in fact. SB was one of my backups and we have met several times in the FC. She is always fun but not as passionate as my ATF. She is heading out of town soon for good and wanted to meet a few more times before she left. Texted me several times over the last week trying to schedule something and I finally agreed to yesterday. She was good with it the night before, confirmed all was still good arounf noon the day of the meeting, then tells me at 3:45 that she can't make the 4:30 meeting. Luckily I hadn't yet booked the room. I didn't ask for the excuse because they are almost always lame and I suspect that she overbooked because she wanted to score one final sugar payoff for sure before leaving town.

The most common reason I get from a SB is that she has her monthly visitor. Hard to argue that one. I like DATY way too much to play when the visitor is in town, so I appreciate the honesty when that happens.

We all know this isn't a perfect hobby. The noshows are just another price we pay to play.

Alias

**John G Smith** · 01-08-13 16:36

Interesting topics. What I like about this forum is that we're able to have a bit of self-awareness about ourselves.

The topic is timely for me because I might be back out in the market again for a new SB (s). I don't know yet.

My Escort Baby is in the wind. I haven't heard from her since before Christmas. She hasn't posted any new ads either to my knowledge. But I'm not too surprised by this and never really had much expectations for her.

I met up with the Asian College baby right before Christmas and we actually had a great M&G. We got along very well and she kept saying how surprised she that it was going so well. However at the very end of the date, she said she couldn't go through with an "arrangement". She wanted to tell me earlier supposedly but I was already in traffic on the way. But I think the real reason is, she didn't need the money anymore. A day before our meetup, her family invited her back to Korea to stay for a month during her school break. So even though we got along, she didn't need the money bad enough anymore to sleep with an older guy she just met. That said, since we did get along so well, I have a feeling she may be open again toward an arrangement a few months from now when she has money problems again.

And then there's my ATF. As mentioned earlier, we had an issue where she didn't give me any honey on our date after I gave her all that sugar. It was pretty much resolved, but then a week or two later I said I wouldn't be giving her "extra" cash and stuff until we got the sex / intimacy back on track. However the ultimatum was poorly timed since apparently she was going through a lot of other stuff too (when are they not?). So she got upset and wanted to end the arrangement. The problem is she actually had some feelings for me, which actually complicated a lot of things. Neither one of us knew exactly where the boundaries of our arrangement and friendship were. And she actually did have some feelings for me because even though our arrangement currently is over, we're still talking / txting everyday. She still wants to be friends and spend time together occasionally, but doesn't want an actual arrangement anymore. It's hard to say where things are going to go from here. Things might just eventually fizzle out or it could morph into a real relationship.

So these recent experiences did prompt me to sit back and think, The last couple of months I've spent a lot of time, energy, and money on sugar babies that is being taken away from the SO. If I was trying to truly fix my marriage, I wouldn't be doing this. I'm not trying to fix my marriage, I'm just trying to make it survivable. Like others have stated, the passion is gone from my marriage. My SO looked great when she was younger, but she was always lazy when it came to exercise. So when the kids came, it took a toll on her body which she never bothered to work on. Also she became a more angrier person over the years, which turned me off to her. But still, we do have a pretty good partnership and great kids, so I need to find a way to make it work for now. The sugar world has been a way for me to be content in my current marriage situation.

That said, another problem lately is that the better the sex has been getting in the sugar world, the frequency of the sex I'm having with the SO has gone down. My SO just lies there, never does oral, and etc. So it's hard to get up the desire for her compared to HYBs who go at it like sex fiends and more open to trying new things. I need to fix this though because this may end up being my undoing. Sex droughts with an SO like this can clue them in that an affair might be going on.

So without a doubt, while the sugar world is helping me survive the marriage, it is damaging my relationship with my SO. But I'm okay with this because my SO stopped trying to fix / improve our relationship long ago. So I've finally given up as well.

As for being stood-up, I've never been stood-up for a M&G. Primarily because I always confirm the morning of and then when I'm literally heading out the door to meet the person. So I've had cancellations, but I've never been stood-up because usually I catch it before hand. I tend to see 19-22 year-olds and girls at that age are notoriously flaky, so I know to always double confirm. Also some girls may just get too nervous, so I like to give them an opt-out before I waste my time driving and waiting.