"Sugarbabies" / "Arrangements" Amateurs or Not?

[ChiGuy606]

Good Lord! The mind of a POT boggles the logical mind some times don't they? Has she had an arrangement before? If this was her first, perhaps the reality of it set in by the time she got home and cold feet ensued?

Most likely it is cold feet and perhaps an email ensuring her that you are only looking to have a mutual good time (mutual is the key word) and that since you like her so much you are willing to go slow (within reason of course, but don't tell her that) and that you will do everything you can to make her comfortable.

But hell, I don't need to be giving you advice. Just don't let it get you down, they flake out on the best of us!

BTW, this is being posted in the FC. Legally Blonde just went home. Report to follow!

Stay positive.

Chi.

My brothers,

From this day forward, I am imposing an iron-clad 48 hour gag order on myself after meeting with any new, untested baby before posting anything. After our delightful (I thought) lunch yesterday, which ended in some very pleasant, mutual (I thought) kissing, my SNB has gone into hiding. I sent her a charming (I thought) text last night, and another equally charming one this morning via email, and nothing, nada, goose egg, bagel and so on. I just can't be so wrong about these little fish, can I?

We had already talked about the "arrangement" and she knew there would be sex involved, and was down with that, so she said, and I know I'm not a bad kisser, so WTF?

I hope it's nothing bad with her daughter.

Mystified,

Scott

[F Scott]

My brothers,

From this day forward, I am imposing an iron-clad 48 hour gag order on myself after meeting with any new, untested baby before posting anything. After our delightful (I thought) lunch yesterday, which ended in some very pleasant, mutual (I thought) kissing, my SNB has gone into hiding. I sent her a charming (I thought) text last night, and another equally charming one this morning via email, and nothing, nada, goose egg, bagel and so on. I just can't be so wrong about these little fish, can I?

We had already talked about the "arrangement" and she knew there would be sex involved, and was down with that, so she said, and I know I'm not a bad kisser, so WTF?

I hope it's nothing bad with her daughter.

Mystified,

Scott

[Golfcart]

Well today I was supposed to have the m&g, and I did made it clear I expected more than just a glass of wine for the $300. The reply was."see it as a down payment for the monthly allowance" and it was insulting to her that I even suggested that."as you know time is$ in business". So I replied "buh bye"

I went to the 18 yr old "de-virgined" play mate who can't get enough now.

This girls sounds like a woman using money as punishment.

[JoesParty]

Doc, let me, too, welcome you to the club. You've gotten off to a marvelous start, though I also caution against booking more patients than you can reasonably accommodate. I had a wonderful little AA baby much like your Patient 1. She, too, told me she hadn't had sex in a year. And oh boy, was she eager in the FC. But I had over-committed myself, and I had to cut her loose after about 2 months. We parted on friendly terms, though, and I may just pick her back up (if she's available) in the future because . . .

The relationship with the ATF seems to be reaching a natural conclusion. I say "natural" because it's not what I want, but it's happening anyway. She is becoming more distant and our time together shorter and shorter. Given my emotional entanglement with her, I can't just let it wither on the vine, so I'll have to just walk away. I doubt she'll be the one to call it off, as she still likes the sugar. I'll just disappear.

I'll be taking some time to recharge both my emotional and financial coffers, though I will check in here from time to time, if only to keep abreast of the excellent reports from my brothers (and Mandy!). Keep on writing.

Regards,

Joe

[F Scott]

Gentlemen,

Well, my lunch with what I am pretty sure is going to be my SNB, Shiny New Baby, went swimmingly yesterday. I invited her to one of my favorite places, a gastropub in a very groovy part of town, that coincidentally has hotel rooms upstairs. It was a place I used to go with my ATF, so I was a little interested in how I would feel meeting someone else there. The answer - just fine! Traffic was not as bad as I feared, so I arrived there a little ahead of schedule, which allowed me to gently probe my feelings, and honestly they were nothing but happiness. Happiness for the wonderful times I had there with ATF, which will never be spoiled, happiness that I am back in the game and achieving success again, and happiness that I was waiting for a beautiful, funny, lively, interesting and sexy baby who has already declared her interest in a relationship, and who lives on her own!

As I sat at the bar, enjoying a beautiful glass of craft stout, I looked around the room at all the 20 and 30 somethings that were there, and realized that for me, at least, the Bowl offers an unparalleled opportunity to stay vital, interested and curious, plus have sex with women who are less than half my age! I felt like I often did when I was out with ATF: safe, secure, off the grid, invisible and excited for what lay ahead.

When the Irish GI arrived, we embraced warmly and proceeded to a table, where we sat for almost 4 hours this time, again talking, laughing and flirting non-stop. I finally had to break it up, since I had to be back in time to beat my SO home. GI Jane and I made plans to meet again this coming Monday, with precise details still to be determined. A funny thing happened while we were talking: she told me here real name, but assured me that she did not expect me to reciprocate, since I had far more to lose than she did if things went sour eventually. This started us talking about "honesty" in sugar relationships, and she agreed that there was something very liberating about being in such an affair. There was no need nor point in bullshitting or being less than direct, since the ultimate "goal" was understood by both parties, so no need to "trick" anyone into bed. The only thing left, then is openness and honesty in who you are as a person and what you are interested in having in this relationship.

I thought it interesting that she also seemed to grasp what we have been discussing here in the clubhouse. I told her she could tell me anything she wanted about whatever she wanted, and I hoped I could do the same, and there ensued a long tale on her part about why she joined the military, and it was not love of country. I felt honored that she shared with me, and told her so, which made her run her bare foot up my leg under the table, which I have to admit I enjoyed disproportionally. She also suggested that the next time we came to this restaurant, maybe we could get a room. "Ten-hut," said Scottie!

At this point, I think if I can find one other baby that I connect with, I will be content. Perhaps it is Brit, perhaps Polo. Who knows? What did Magic say,"ya just never know with this shit" or something like that?

Peace,

Scott

[EuroInCincy]

Not all aspects of EuroInCincy's situation are clear to me. I assume EuroInCincy and the girl have agreed to $300 behind closed doors; her view is they will meet for a M&G at which M&G she expects $300 and this occasion will not be followed by going behind closed doors. I would tell her the $300 is associated with behind closed doors time; a M&G for coffee is not behind closed doors time and is not compensable unless the two of you decide to adjourn to behind closed doors.

I agree with Scott. Being straight up about everying is the only way.

I don't agree with gift cards or anything not associated with going behind closed doors. If we start something like that we invite more of the same, ending with regrets.

Well today I was supposed to have the m&g, and I did made it clear I expected more than just a glass of wine for the $300. The reply was."see it as a down payment for the monthly allowance" and it was insulting to her that I even suggested that."as you know time is$ in business". So I replied "buh bye"

I went to the 18 yr old "de-virgined" play mate who can't get enough now.

[SbabyBlog]

Just wanted to say welcome to the sugar bowl and that I loved your "doctor" themed prose below. You seem to be off to a fantastic start. Since my most favorite SD is also a doctor, I found it quite enjoyable to read.

I hope any of our mid-western friends are staying in-doors. Scott is right, it's becoming unbearable. I'm happy I get to escape it this weekend to go to an east coast beach town with my Doctor. Hope you all have a great week!

Mandy

[ChiGuy606]

Fantastic Doctor! What a fabulous way to jump right in, and it is quite an accomplishment you pulled off there! I bet you slept like a baby that night.

I felt myself cringing at times while reading your story, because I was (and sometimes still am) guilty of the same 'biting off more than I can chew' scenario you are in. But I must say you handled it masterfully.

There is a certain kid in the candy store type of rush that can get you in trouble if you're not careful!

Again welcome & I'd be curious to hear what your metro area is & what your confirmed donation amount was (if you don't mind. PM is fine also).

Regards,

Chi

[F Scott]

Brothers,

I believe the good Doctor's recent post proves what I have been thinking for quite some time: this is far and away the most literate, well-spoken, and thoughtful thread on the entire forum, and I am proud to be a member of it. I enjoy your medical practice analogy, Doc, and look forward to reading more. Keep up the good work! I totally get not wanting to turn away any willing patients; you'll just have to work longer hours I guess. Keep an eye on establishing your "best practices" in terms of secrecy and safety, especially if the Head Nurse could run across some of your charts and revoke your license to practice.

In other news, I head out in an hour to have lunch with Irish GI baby. I really hope it goes as well as the m&g. I have set a goal of obtaining a few solid kisses at the end of the meal from her, so we shall see. As I said earlier, I'd like to take it a little slowly here, in case this proves to be something long term. I will, of course, file a report upon my return if there are any interesting developments.

Stay cool, my friends. Heat index in the Windy City set at 105! I hope I don't get to say that I was alive when the Great Midwestern Desert began. Yikes!

Scott

[FeelGoodMd]

It appears you have been a very busy bee in just three weeks! Congratulations on your stellar entry. With the exception of a rookie move we all make. Getting too many babies on the line at one time. You pulled off a spectacular double-header, it appears, but at least in my case, I know I let some great catches slip away because I just couldn't handle them all in the first months of discovering the delights of the Bowl.

Keep up the good work, and don't forget to write,

Scott

Thank you, Scott! I'm firmly hooked on the Bowl after Friday night, but the most difficult thing to learn is patience. I've found that I want to enroll every patient I can in my new practice, but I have to remind myself that it's easy to overextend. If I do that I can't provide proper care to my patients, or look after myself. There are always more patients seeking attention, and only so many medical licenses get distributed. I'm going to try to pace myself more after this week.

That being said, Patient 7 cancelled on me this morning, saying she had an exam this afternoon she had to cram for. However, she indicated interest in meeting on Saturday. This presents the opportunity for another double header, with Patient 9's M&G in the morning, but I haven't yet committed to Pt 7 on Saturday for the very reasons mentioned above.

Thank you, again, to all the posters for the lessons and to you, Scott, for the welcoming words. I'll keep you updated on the progress of my practice. I hope to line up enough patients that I have a few favorites to invite to the FC at any given time.

Dr. Feelgood

[F Scott]

It appears you have been a very busy bee in just three weeks! Congratulations on your stellar entry into this most rewarding, frustrating, exciting and disappointing pursuit a person could find. I can find little to criticize in your technique, with the exception of a rookie move we all make - getting too many babies on the line at one time. You pulled off a spectacular double-header, it appears, but at least in my case, I know I let some great catches slip away because I just couldn't handle them all in the first months of discovering the delights of the Bowl, but this is a minor, minor observation, and not at all a critique.

Keep up the good work, and don't forget to write,

Scott

[FeelGoodMd]

I've been lurking for about a month, and after much reading and learning from my elders on this board, I jumped into the sugar bowl about 3 weeks ago. My deepest thanks to all the posters here, especially the more active members. I have learned much, and it has made my entry into the sugar world much simpler than it ever could have been without you.

That being said, I'll jump right into my rounds for the evening.

Patient 1 is a 23 year old AA who contacted me on SA shortly after I joined. I have never been to the dark side, but her initial email intrigued me so I decided to see where things would lead. We learn a little bit about each other over email (she's grew up and attended college locally, but is moving about 2 hours away in the fall to pursue a masters). After several days emailing, we set up a dinner M&G. Some creative googling confirms most of her story, and gives no indication she might be a pro.

When we finally meet, I am absolutely stunned! She is tall, curves in all the right places, and breasts. Well, I'm a breast man and these might be the best I've ever been within reach of. Over dinner, she explains that she hasn't had sex in over two years. I am somewhat incredulous at this, and express that, but she swears it's true. We have a great meal, seem to really be getting along, and at the end of dinner I suggest we might adjourn to somewhere more private. She hesitates, I can see the battle in her eyes, but after a few moments she declines. She says she wants to be sure she is ready for the next step first. I express understanding (don't push the string, right?) , and give her a kiss (actually, turned into several very hungry kisses on her part) goodnight. I slip. 2 into her purse and explain it's gas money, since she had a bit of a drive to our dinner site.

Over the next several days, she and I text back and forth several times, making tentative plans to get together again which fall apart at the last minute because of conflicts on one of our parts (often hers) , or her simply not responding to a confirmatory texts. After a few of these, I get tired of that game and decide to leave things alone after again writing to confirm a rendezvous and not hearing back from her. About 4 days later, she texts me and says she'll be free the next night and really wants to see me. I suggest we get together at a local hotel after work, and after about 4 hours she texts back an agreement. Things are looking wonderful, except I forgot I'd already set up a date that day with.

Patient 2, a 36 year old Cauc recently relocated from Vegas to be with an ill family member locally. She responds to my wink, and seems very eager to get together. First contact with her was the same day as with patient 1. Things progress quickly, and she gives me her email address so we can communicate offsite. Out of curiosity, I google the email and it turns up connected to a "companion" in Vegas. There are no pictures connected to the vegas info, but the years correspond roughly to the time she says she lived out there. My alarms go off, but I decide to ignore them and plunge ahead. No gift amounts have been discussed, so I'm still in control of the transaction.

The day after my M&G with pt 1, I have an early dinner with pt 2. Things go smoothly, and we progress to a local hotel to "find out if we have chemistry." We do, twice, and my suspicions that she is a pro-trying-to-exit or a semi-pro grow stronger. (great technique, obviously polished, but slightly inauthentic) I give her the gift I'd already settled on and we part ways. I text her the next day to tell her how much I enjoyed our time together, and she readily texts back her agreement and her enthusiasm to meet again. I file her as a "dependable backup," but continue to pursue other leads.

Patient 3, a 23 year old Cauc student who contacts me while I am out with Pt 2. We go back and forth on email for about 24 hours, and she divulges that she grew up in town, but went to college out of state. She returned last fall after having a breakdown her senior year, but has "put things back together" and is planning to finish her degree at a local U starting in the fall. And she claims she is a virgin. She heard about the sb life from a girl at the dead-end job she is currently filling, and decided to explore. She thinks it would be "neat" to lose her virginity this way, and I agree (actually, I think it's idiotic on her part, but soothe my conscience with the knowledge that she can apply my gifts to her eventual therapy). We meet for breakfast the following morning (the Head Nurse is out of town that weekend) , and I begin to believe the virgin story is true. She is VERY nervous, but chatty. Things are moving in the right direction, but I sense that pushing for a trip to the FC would be premature, so I walk her to her car and we agree to meet again for another meal.

We continue to text and email, and have dinner about 4 days later with much expression of angst on her part, but no further progress toward the fc. There is radio silence for several days after that. She finally emails to say she just isn't ready for "this kind of thing," but appreciates my patience and understanding with her. I wish her the best, and tell her I hope she will contact me if she ever changes her mind about pursuing a sd-sb arrangement. I realize I have probably been spared a great deal of drama and clinginess.

Patient 4, a 37 year old Cauc moving back to the states after several years with our northern neighbors. She contacts me and expresses interest, but the problem is she lives 2 hours away from me. I explain that my schedule rarely allows me to travel, but she says she's happy to come to me. We set up a M&G the morning after my trip to the FC with Pt 2, but early that morning, before I leave, she texts to say that her car wouldn't start and it's now on being towed to the shop. She texts later to say the mechanic thinks she can have it early the next day, so we agree on a late lunch. No dice. She doesn't get her car out of the shop until early that morning, and by the time she made the drive it would be mid-afternoon (when the head nurse is expected to return).

I suggest we try to get together later, which she seems eager (almost desperate) to do, but in the ensuing 2 weeks our schedules haven't lined up. We have a tentative meeting in a few days, which she insists should be a M&G only to "remove the pressure of sex." OK, I'm not driving 250 miles round-trip. We'll see if she actually makes the trip, and if she does whether she wants to return with only some gas money (I figure I'll give her. 5 for her trouble) or if she wants to enter the FC for a greater reward for her travels.

I have a M&G with Patient 5, a 25 year old Cauc, over dinner the following week. She is smoking hot. Thin and lithe, but with only a generous A or modest B cup. She's also flaky, and there's no chemistry at all. We agree to meet again, but don't set a date. I give her. 2 for gas money (bait). I text her the following day, and get a response with little apparent enthusiasm. I text again a few days later, same thing. I decide to wait for her to make the next move. Not enough good chemistry for the effort, but I figure that she may decide she likes the taste of sugar and get back in touch.

Patient 6, 27 year old AA sales woman recently relocated after being downsized and trying to "get back on her feet." Very charming online, lots of chemistry in texts / I'm's, and we set up a lunch M&G two days after my dinner with Patient 5. When we meet, I discover she is in much the same mold as Patient 1. Tall, statuesque, sharply defined features, and very dark. Lunch goes well, and our online chemistry seems to have carried over (with an almost imperceptible chill, however) , so we part with an agreement to meet again but no firm date and no sugar dispensed. We're still communicating online, but I have my hands full right now with other prospects so I'm not going to rush her.

This brings us back to Patient 1 and Patient 2. Two days before I heard from Patient 1 that she finally wanted to get together, I'd made a date with Patient 2. I call Pt 2 back to say that I have evening plans, but could we meet in the afternoon. She's more than happy with that (unemployed, and her family member is getting healthy so she has time on her hands). I say great, and we set a date for 3. I contact Patient 1 again, and suggest we meet at 6:00 instead of 5:30 "so I can make sure I get out of the office in time." Yes, it's cutting it close, but I think I can make the logistics work. Patient 1 suggests we meet instead at 6:30 so she can "go home and change into something less work-why." No problem! I remind her of the hotel address, and she says she has it and she'll be there.

I get to the first hotel (a drawback to my plan. 2 hotel bills in one day) five minutes early, and discover that Patient 2 has preceded me by 45 minutes and 3 margaritas in the lobby bar. I order a water, chat for about 15 minutes while she finishes margarita 3, pay for her drinks (still cheaper than dinner) , and escort her to the FC. What few inhibitions she had after 1 glass of wine at our first meeting are completely gone after 3 margaritas, and she fucks like a condemned woman whose only hope is to screw her way off the gallows. 2 hours and 3 cups later we depart the FC, with the same gift as our first meeting, and my only regret the possibility that she may have drained me for my rendezvous with Patient 1. I have nearly 90 minutes to recover, however, so I grab a quick bite to restore my strength, and make my way to FC 2. I jump in the shower again to eliminate any trace of Patient 2, and have just gotten back in my clothes when Patient 1 knocks on the door. 2 minutes early, perfect.

She is in a green dress that contrasts beautifully with her ebony skin and shows off her curves to great advantage. We hug and kiss lightly, I pour some wine, and we sit on the bed to talk and touch and kiss. She confesses nerves, and I'm in no particular rush since I figure I need as much recovery time as I can muster. After about 15 minutes of this, however, I take her glass and put it on the nightstand, and lean her back on the bed. The next two hours are a whirlwind. She fucks like she wants to make up for the last two years before we part for the evening. Her body is even more spectacular than I had imagined, and I begin to believe that the "once you go black" saying may be true for men as well as for women. I am thankful that my stethoscope has been put to extensive use already, because it greatly enhances my endurance. Another 2 cups and 90 minutes later, and I tell her that our time has to come to an end. The head nurse will soon be getting suspicious. We agree to see each other again, and I slip her gift in her purse as I give her a final hug. A few minutes later I get a text: THANK YOU SO MUCH! C U SOON! I think she's satisfied by my generosity.

I've already written a novella, so I will save news of Patient 7 (23 year old student and single mother, breakfast M&G tomorrow morning) , Patient 8 (early 40's aspiring massage therapist, dinner M&G on Friday) , Patient 9 (27 year old early career blueblood who seems to want to "break the mold" her upbringing has her in, breakfast M&G Saturday) , as well as one of 3 prospects I'm trying to arrange a M&G with on Wednesday evening (23 year old entering med school. 18 year old heading off to college on an athletic scholarship. 41 year old recently widowed nurse who gives amazing chat, but also has a higher taste for sugar than I want to dispense).

Thank you for your time and your reading, gentlemen (and at least one lady). I am glad to have formally joined your conversation, and welcome any thoughts and feedback (and even admonitions if applicable) you may have to offer.

Dr. Feelgood

[AliasSM]

Brothers, chime in here. Am I the only one who thinks this way? Mandy, maybe bring another sister on board so we can get a lively dialogue going. It seems to me there is something to this topic that could help us all, babies and daddies alike, find a more rewarding situation, or two.

Scott

You have hit on something here Scott and I find it rings true with me also. I just had this discussion with my nurse SB a few nights ago, and then again on an ungodly long string of emails with a potential SB last week.

But the "honestly", I'll have to admit, is very selective. Still though, I find myself telling them things about me that I have never shared with my wife of many years and would never discuss in a real relationship.

I do think it's due to the fact that this person will not be around the rest of your life and you can always find a replacement if necessary. It's still odd though. Almost like paying a therapist to hear all of you inner thoughts.

As usual Scott, you are onto something here. If nothing else, it sparked a response from Mandy, who has been noticeably absent for some time.

Welcome back Mandy!

[Golfcart]

(Edit Delete) I truly have not worked this through very much in my own head yet to be able to be articulate it very well; it's just a sense I have that I am communicating with these babies in a direct, frank way that is in marked contrast to the way I used to pursue real-life relationships, and I really like the way I feel when I'm doing it. (Edit Delete) Brothers, chime in here. Am I the only one who thinks this way? (Edit Delete)

No.

When Scott had to use his own game to get the girls failure was personal. It was like a job interview. Scott was on his good behavior to a greater extent. That means he was artificial to some extent if only to himself.

In the pay for play world the pressure to succeed is off; another girl is just around the corner. Scott is more relaxed, more real, more open, more Scott. Scott's girls see Scott The Real few others see. Scott likes this Scott better. If Scott doesn't do it there's always tomorrow, but tonight has a habit of working out.

This is the same discussion Scott and I had a year ago in another form. Not being afraid is power. A man unafraid is very hard to beat.

[F Scott]

Scott as always you pose an interesting question – why do you feel free to be honest in the sugar bowl?

But, I have to question if you're really all that honest? I think we find our longer-term favorites and we get comfortable and are honest with that person. But, that's only part of the sugar journey.

I mean – how many of your babies know your real name, what you do, or your company name?

What they do know is what you like in bed and that you play with multiple people. Once you form a connection with them, it's easy to be honest with everything else because they already know 'the worst of you. '

But, at the same time once that connection is formed I think we tend to lie a little bit to protect that person just like most of us do with our spouses. Recently, 'Him' revealed that he's been dating someone locally. It's been going on for several months and in an effort to 'not hurt me' he lied to me. I can't fault him – The Doctor has no idea I have another SD.

So, while I agree there is a certain level of honesty in the sugar world. I think we cloud things over here just as much as in our normal worlds.

Mandy

Perhaps honesty is not the perfect word, here, but rather "forthrightness". I don't just tell a new baby what I like in bed, but share stuff about myself, (not including my real name, etc) that even some of my close friends don't know. I find it liberating and a release. Maybe the fact that I am "anonymous" in one regard lets me be more open in others?

Only my last ATF knew my real name, none of the others ever did. It just didn't seem like a smart thing, so perhaps selective honesty, if there is such a thing, is the phrase I'm after. Having said this, I never shared with her that I was also seeing other babies while we were together. Again, it just did not seem smart, but if she had asked, I would have told the truth, I think. Is that a lie of commission, or omission? I know she was seeing other people during our time together, and so what would have been the big deal? On the third hand, if she had started our day together telling me about the date she had the night before, I'm not sure how I would have reacted, so Mandy, maybe you are right after all. The more it gets to be like real life, the more we obfuscate to "protect" our partners. I asked my current Irish Obsession if she were planning on having multiple situations at our first m&g, and she admitted that she was looking for more than one, but not in a serial fashion, and I appreciated that. Is that honesty? Does the book have to be totally open to call it "honest"?

I truly have not worked this through very much in my own head yet to be able to be articulate it very well; it's just a sense I have that I am communicating with these babies in a direct, frank way that is in marked contrast to the way I used to pursue real-life relationships, and I really like the way I feel when I'm doing it. Maybe because I know there is a huge Bowl out there, I don't need to "put one over" on any particular baby, and so that lets me say exactly what I want to say. I'm not being rude or disrespectful by any means, just clear and simple, direct and open. And it is not only about sex.

Brothers, chime in here. Am I the only one who thinks this way? Mandy, maybe bring another sister on board so we can get a lively dialogue going. It seems to me there is something to this topic that could help us all, babies and daddies alike, find a more rewarding situation, or two.

In other news, a client just laid a huge amount of cash on me as payment for time, so I am scraping it off the books and straight into my sugar bowl. Hooray, just in time for the weeks ahead. Rain on and off all day, so we will not, apparently, burst into flames here in the Midwest, at least not just yet.

Looking forward to more opinions on the topic as posed,

Scott