"Sugarbabies" / "Arrangements" Amateurs or Not?

[AliasSM]

Brothers, chime in here. Am I the only one who thinks this way? Mandy, maybe bring another sister on board so we can get a lively dialogue going. It seems to me there is something to this topic that could help us all, babies and daddies alike, find a more rewarding situation, or two.

Scott

You have hit on something here Scott and I find it rings true with me also. I just had this discussion with my nurse SB a few nights ago, and then again on an ungodly long string of emails with a potential SB last week.

But the "honestly", I'll have to admit, is very selective. Still though, I find myself telling them things about me that I have never shared with my wife of many years and would never discuss in a real relationship.

I do think it's due to the fact that this person will not be around the rest of your life and you can always find a replacement if necessary. It's still odd though. Almost like paying a therapist to hear all of you inner thoughts.

As usual Scott, you are onto something here. If nothing else, it sparked a response from Mandy, who has been noticeably absent for some time.

Welcome back Mandy!

[Golfcart]

(Edit Delete) I truly have not worked this through very much in my own head yet to be able to be articulate it very well; it's just a sense I have that I am communicating with these babies in a direct, frank way that is in marked contrast to the way I used to pursue real-life relationships, and I really like the way I feel when I'm doing it. (Edit Delete) Brothers, chime in here. Am I the only one who thinks this way? (Edit Delete)

No.

When Scott had to use his own game to get the girls failure was personal. It was like a job interview. Scott was on his good behavior to a greater extent. That means he was artificial to some extent if only to himself.

In the pay for play world the pressure to succeed is off; another girl is just around the corner. Scott is more relaxed, more real, more open, more Scott. Scott's girls see Scott The Real few others see. Scott likes this Scott better. If Scott doesn't do it there's always tomorrow, but tonight has a habit of working out.

This is the same discussion Scott and I had a year ago in another form. Not being afraid is power. A man unafraid is very hard to beat.

[F Scott]

Scott as always you pose an interesting question – why do you feel free to be honest in the sugar bowl?

But, I have to question if you're really all that honest? I think we find our longer-term favorites and we get comfortable and are honest with that person. But, that's only part of the sugar journey.

I mean – how many of your babies know your real name, what you do, or your company name?

What they do know is what you like in bed and that you play with multiple people. Once you form a connection with them, it's easy to be honest with everything else because they already know 'the worst of you. '

But, at the same time once that connection is formed I think we tend to lie a little bit to protect that person just like most of us do with our spouses. Recently, 'Him' revealed that he's been dating someone locally. It's been going on for several months and in an effort to 'not hurt me' he lied to me. I can't fault him – The Doctor has no idea I have another SD.

So, while I agree there is a certain level of honesty in the sugar world. I think we cloud things over here just as much as in our normal worlds.

Mandy

Perhaps honesty is not the perfect word, here, but rather "forthrightness". I don't just tell a new baby what I like in bed, but share stuff about myself, (not including my real name, etc) that even some of my close friends don't know. I find it liberating and a release. Maybe the fact that I am "anonymous" in one regard lets me be more open in others?

Only my last ATF knew my real name, none of the others ever did. It just didn't seem like a smart thing, so perhaps selective honesty, if there is such a thing, is the phrase I'm after. Having said this, I never shared with her that I was also seeing other babies while we were together. Again, it just did not seem smart, but if she had asked, I would have told the truth, I think. Is that a lie of commission, or omission? I know she was seeing other people during our time together, and so what would have been the big deal? On the third hand, if she had started our day together telling me about the date she had the night before, I'm not sure how I would have reacted, so Mandy, maybe you are right after all. The more it gets to be like real life, the more we obfuscate to "protect" our partners. I asked my current Irish Obsession if she were planning on having multiple situations at our first m&g, and she admitted that she was looking for more than one, but not in a serial fashion, and I appreciated that. Is that honesty? Does the book have to be totally open to call it "honest"?

I truly have not worked this through very much in my own head yet to be able to be articulate it very well; it's just a sense I have that I am communicating with these babies in a direct, frank way that is in marked contrast to the way I used to pursue real-life relationships, and I really like the way I feel when I'm doing it. Maybe because I know there is a huge Bowl out there, I don't need to "put one over" on any particular baby, and so that lets me say exactly what I want to say. I'm not being rude or disrespectful by any means, just clear and simple, direct and open. And it is not only about sex.

Brothers, chime in here. Am I the only one who thinks this way? Mandy, maybe bring another sister on board so we can get a lively dialogue going. It seems to me there is something to this topic that could help us all, babies and daddies alike, find a more rewarding situation, or two.

In other news, a client just laid a huge amount of cash on me as payment for time, so I am scraping it off the books and straight into my sugar bowl. Hooray, just in time for the weeks ahead. Rain on and off all day, so we will not, apparently, burst into flames here in the Midwest, at least not just yet.

Looking forward to more opinions on the topic as posed,

Scott

[SbabyBlog]

Scott as always you pose an interesting question – why do you feel free to be honest in the sugar bowl?

But, I have to question if you're really all that honest? I think we find our longer-term favorites and we get comfortable and are honest with that person. But, that's only part of the sugar journey.

I mean – how many of your babies know your real name, what you do, or your company name?

What they do know is what you like in bed and that you play with multiple people. Once you form a connection with them, it's easy to be honest with everything else because they already know 'the worst of you. '

But, at the same time once that connection is formed I think we tend to lie a little bit to protect that person just like most of us do with our spouses. Recently, 'Him' revealed that he's been dating someone locally. It's been going on for several months and in an effort to 'not hurt me' he lied to me. I can't fault him – The Doctor has no idea I have another SD.

So, while I agree there is a certain level of honesty in the sugar world. I think we cloud things over here just as much as in our normal worlds.

Mandy

[Golfcart]

This is most likely a case of GPS.

An email on sa led me to give her my text number, texting back and forth and she started bringing up allowance, even before we met.

I threw out a umber and she agreed to the number, even though no visitation frequency has been set. Then the M&G was being discussed and since I her to prove I am real, she expects $300 for a glass of wine when we meet. I did not comment on that text, but my silence is most likely to her."Ok Ill give you $300 for a glass of wine and a M&G" my instincts. Jusr walk away and say buh bye.

Any flanking maneuvers?

Not all aspects of EuroInCincy's situation are clear to me. I assume EuroInCincy and the girl have agreed to $300 behind closed doors; her view is they will meet for a M&G at which M&G she expects $300 and this occasion will not be followed by going behind closed doors. I would tell her the $300 is associated with behind closed doors time; a M&G for coffee is not behind closed doors time and is not compensable unless the two of you decide to adjourn to behind closed doors.

I agree with Scott. Being straight up about everying is the only way.

I don't agree with gift cards or anything not associated with going behind closed doors. If we start something like that we invite more of the same, ending with regrets.

[F Scott]

Not much about flanking, way more about straight talk

I was having this discussion with a new pot baby the other day: how, in a strange way, the Sugar Bowl offers both parties the opportunity to be upfront and straightforward in what we expect in a way that real life dating does not. Before I was married, I would use whatever ruse, game, angle or approach I could think of to get access to the pussy, but now, in the SB world, I curiously find that staight talk is the way to go. These babies can smell a bs'er a mile away, and most will call you on it in no uncertain language.

I wonder why I feel so much more free to be honest in the Bowl, and would love to hear more opinions from the brothers, and Mandy, of course.

So, here is the topic for debate: "Why, in an arena that prizes discretion, and for most, married or not, a certain level of secrecy, does it seem to be so easy to be honest?" The floor is open for input.

Scott

[Varoom]

Jusr walk away and say buh bye.

Any flanking maneuvers?

Not sure if it is GPS or maybe more so just throwing out her line (line of BS) to see just how stupid these SD's can be. Lets look at this if the tables were turned and you were lurking for a female who was trolling for your services. Say you have no idea what she is willing to pay to get up close and personal with your equipment, so how would you handle the negotiations? Of course you would start high and see her reaction, and when she reacted that you were being unreasonable then you would lower the fee for your services until the negotiations reached the floor of what Euro was willing to accept to insert the equipment into said hole.

So here is what I would do; tell her straight out how your program works. NO sugar for M&G, but maybe a parting gift for showing and playing nice over coffee; aka gift card. (Most people do not get paid to drink a cup of coffee). Then if mutual feelings are in place and time is scheduled in the FC that you would provide to her X wampum per visit, with future negotiations being possible upon extroadinary performance. Pretty simple, and if she responds for further discussion then you have the makings of an appointment brewing. If / when she tells you there are way better offers and more generous gentlemen out there, then tell her to go find her generous SD and stop wasting her time talking to you since you obviously aren't her cup of tea.

Not much about flanking, way more about straight talk; here is what I will do for you, if you do this for me. Ding, ding, we have a winner!

[F Scott]

This is most likely a case of GPS.

An email on sa led me to give her my text number, texting back and forth and she started bringing up allowance, even before we met.

I threw out a umber and she agreed to the number, even though no visitation frequency has been set. Then the M&G was being discussed and since I her to prove I am real, she expects $300 for a glass of wine when we meet. I did not comment on that text, but my silence is most likely to her."Ok Ill give you $300 for a glass of wine and a M&G" my instincts. Jusr walk away and say buh bye.

Any flanking maneuvers?

Euro,

That is completely outrageous! You could agree to the $300, but then suggest that she fuck you when you meet, just so you know she's for real LOL! If she's new to the Bowl, she may just not know how it works, so if it were me I'd compose a calm, polite response, laying out the way the game is played, and let her walk or not. Be prepared yourself to have it be the end.

Let us know,

Scott

[F Scott]

My guess Scott, you'll have her kissin the Blarney Stone for dessert on Monday.

That is my sincere hope, but I want to go a little slowly with this one, since I have a really good feeling about long-term potential here, and don't want to come off as too grabby, unless she indicates that access would be encouraged.

Have a great, baby-filled weekend, my brothers.

I look forward to Monday morning's recap,

Scott

[EuroInCincy]

This is most likely a case of GPS.

An email on sa led me to give her my text number, texting back and forth and she started bringing up allowance, even before we met.

I threw out a umber and she agreed to the number, even though no visitation frequency has been set. Then the M&G was being discussed and since I her to prove I am real, she expects $300 for a glass of wine when we meet. I did not comment on that text, but my silence is most likely to her."Ok Ill give you $300 for a glass of wine and a M&G" my instincts. Jusr walk away and say buh bye.

Any flanking maneuvers?

[Varoom]

since, as she told me, she's pretty sure I'm her guy.

Well, I guess Irish is the LAST ONE to know then. The rest of use in the clubhouse are damned sure about you being the guy, and Scottie put in two vote of confidence on the subject. My guess Scott, you'll have her kissin the Blarney Stone for dessert on Monday.

[F Scott]

Brother Scott,

The above dialogue is like a classic line from a movie. It may rival Rhett Butler, in GWTW. I am certainly glad that I didn't have a mouthful of liquid when I read this one because I busted out with an uncontrollable horse laugh which continued on a bit. Sweet. Vroom

Thanks, Vroom. I didn't really think of the humor potential as I was writing it, but now that you point it out, it was pretty snappy, wasn't it? And the best part is, it's all true! And you are correct, I will never forget the day, ever, nor will Scottie. He loves me so much right now, it's kind of embarassing. Can you have a bromance with your own penis? Apparently so!

In other news, my Irish Cherokee bailed on me, surprise, surprise. My big failing is that I let myself get out ahead of reality, and start to image the two of us, wrapped in the Sweet Embrace, and I start to believe that she will, in fact, follow through, and forget what the history has been up till now. I straight out accused her of yanking my chain, which of course she denied, and protested that she really, really wants us to get together, but things just came up, yada yada yada. I ask you, my brothers, what just comes up in the life of a 23 yo partially-employed baby that can't be put off for an hour or two? I own my own business and still I can usually find an hour to meet someone for coffee on a given day, especially if it's been planned ahead. Whatever.

In further news, out of the blue I got a response yesterday to a contact I had put out on SA from a gorgeous, funny, smart, lively baby who I may just be mad for. We met for coffee, spent almost three hours at a Starbucks near me, and have been texting and emailing ever since. She is a single mom, ex-military, fishing, hunting and cooking fan, who acts and sings. God, I think I'm in love. Plus, she is gorgeous, did I mention that? We are meeting for lunch on Monday. Negotiations have already been dealt with, since, as she told me, she's pretty sure I'm her guy. Plus, she's Irish. First generation, and you senior members know what I think about that! She is so animated, and full of life, that I think she will be perfect for me to get over the breakup with my ATF, which I realized recently has not even been a month. Time does drag when you are miserable, doesn't it?

Lastly, my "sure thing" with my little Goth baby with the enormous rack did not materialize either. After an endless stream of "sexts", the line suddenly went dead. As Magic said to me, "Ya just never know how this shit's gonna go", which I think we should have made into t-shirts for the clubhouse.

Anyway, just some random musings and updates, in no particular order and without polish. SO comes home this evening, so I will be headed back to solitary until Monday, when I am going to delight in my shiny new baby (hopefully).

Feelin' good,

Scott

[Varoom]

I ask,"would you like to take the tiller?", to which she replies, in her posh British accent,"no, I'd like to fuck you."

Brother Scott,

The above dialogue is like a classic line from a movie. It may rival Rhett Butler, in GWTW. I am certainly glad that I didn't have a mouthful of liquid when I read this one because I busted out with an uncontrollable horse laugh which continued on a bit. Definitely some great prose there my friend and sooooo glad that the Brit blew your boating shoes clean off. Yip-fuckin-ee; sounds like one that you will take to the old folks home in your grey matter, and even old-timers won't erase that memory! Sweet. Vroom

[ChiGuy606]

John,

I think a lot of them probably are legit. I let my account expire every month and have noticed they 'feature' you as soon as it expire so you get a ton of winks and emails. Of course this makes you re-subscribe (they are not dumb).

Of the round of expired winks I got last month, I followed up on all the interesting ones and at least got emails and a few m&gs, so I know many if not all are real.

That being said, the previous advice is also probably good, it'll be like a new pool if you take a month or so away.

Brothers help me out.

So at the beginning of the month, I decided to let my SA membership lapse. I had gotten enough leads from SA and new prospects from CL to keep me occupied for a while.

But now I've been getting a relative flood of responses to my SA account now that my membership has expired. I have over 20 unread messages sitting in my inbox that I can't access. Ironically (and suspiciously) I wasn't getting this kind of response rate when I had an active membership logging almost everyday and sending messages. Yet when I do nothing and don't login my profile becomes a magnet.

Is this due to some search engine rigging they do to try to re-active accounts by placing my profile at the top of results or is it the girls in my area are starting to get desperate to find a legit SD? I'm noticing the majority of the girls who are contacting me have been on the site for at least a couple of months.

Anyway, I wanted to get your guys opinion on this. Have you guys noticed this same phenomenon on SA? I know other sites blatantly have fake accounts to reel in old members, but from what I can tell most of the girls who contacted me are legit.

So should I stay strong and ignore the temptation to renew? I kinda want to just focus on the two SBs who are currently on my plate. Or is it not a big deal to renew and explore some new SA leads?

[ChiGuy606]

Fabulous story Scott! I've got that old Dennis DeYoung song going through my head now."Cum Saaaaaiiil away with me!"