Massage Parlor Reports

[LazyLover]

I love #7 when it happens, but I am probably a werido.

My add for this amusing list is:

#11 Google Review is less than 10 reviews, and all the women on the reviews are 1 star, and all the men are 5 star.

Okay, so this is a little off topic. But I ran across this on the Alabama forum and though it was funny, so I decided to pass it along:

1. Any massage parlor open after say 9 pm is bound to be packing an assortment of extras, nobody virtuous goes looking for a therapeutic back rub at 1 am on a Tuesday!

2. It's packing neon signs with words like "massage" or "body rub". There's just something seedy / appealing about a flashing neon signs, they know mongers like us can't resist the lure of a good neon sign.

3. Odd / distant Location. If the massage shop is smack in the middle of an industrial area there's a good chance they'll have buckets of extras as they're often driven out of the 'burbs by nosy fuckers with erection problems and church groups who believe a that administering a hand job = holiday in Hades.

4. If the masseuse is wearing / displaying any of the following then it's probably going to be sensual: miniskirt, high-heels, tight-dress, side-boob, lingerie, snorkel.

5. The seedier / ramshackle the place the better your chances of a happy ending. If I ever see a scummy mattress on a floor I always think I'm odds on for a hand job (or lice).

6. Check out the customers. If it's all nervous looking men then you've probably hit the jackpot. A nervous man walking out of a massage place is the sign of a man with freshly emptied baby sacks. I love when I see guys about to walk into a massage joint which I know is a 100% erotic and they start twisting / stretching there arms like they're a little sore and are just there to get some knots rubbed out. We know where the knot is bro!

7. The masseuse doesn't leave the room whilst you get unchanged. This rarely happens and when it does, it's always awkward as fuck. Kinda retarded to feel awkward I know, she's about to see me naked and will soon be milking my man-jam but there's a system people WHEN THE MACHINE BREAKS DOWN, WE BREAK DOWN.

8. The massage slogan "Oriental" or "Asian" massage is always a good erotic shot but are not to be confused with "Thai Massage" which always results in something in me dislocating.

9. The massage room has items like Vaseline, lubricant, dog-collars or a box of tissues so big that you could wipe up one of Thor's loads.

10. The Masseuse walks in and takes off her clothes. If I got to explain this one then you belong in that Sarlacc pit son.

[Ts1976]

Okay, so this is a little off topic. But I ran across this on the Alabama forum and though it was funny, so I decided to pass it along:

1. Any massage parlor open after say 9 pm is bound to be packing an assortment of extras, nobody virtuous goes looking for a therapeutic back rub at 1 am on a Tuesday!

2. It's packing neon signs with words like "massage" or "body rub". There's just something seedy / appealing about a flashing neon signs, they know mongers like us can't resist the lure of a good neon sign.

3. Odd / distant Location. If the massage shop is smack in the middle of an industrial area there's a good chance they'll have buckets of extras as they're often driven out of the 'burbs by nosy fuckers with erection problems and church groups who believe a that administering a hand job = holiday in Hades.

4. If the masseuse is wearing / displaying any of the following then it's probably going to be sensual: miniskirt, high-heels, tight-dress, side-boob, lingerie, snorkel.

5. The seedier / ramshackle the place the better your chances of a happy ending. If I ever see a scummy mattress on a floor I always think I'm odds on for a hand job (or lice).

6. Check out the customers. If it's all nervous looking men then you've probably hit the jackpot. A nervous man walking out of a massage place is the sign of a man with freshly emptied baby sacks. I love when I see guys about to walk into a massage joint which I know is a 100% erotic and they start twisting / stretching there arms like they're a little sore and are just there to get some knots rubbed out. We know where the knot is bro!

7. The masseuse doesn't leave the room whilst you get unchanged. This rarely happens and when it does, it's always awkward as fuck. Kinda retarded to feel awkward I know, she's about to see me naked and will soon be milking my man-jam but there's a system people WHEN THE MACHINE BREAKS DOWN, WE BREAK DOWN.

8. The massage slogan "Oriental" or "Asian" massage is always a good erotic shot but are not to be confused with "Thai Massage" which always results in something in me dislocating.

9. The massage room has items like Vaseline, lubricant, dog-collars or a box of tissues so big that you could wipe up one of Thor's loads.

10. The Masseuse walks in and takes off her clothes. If I got to explain this one then you belong in that Sarlacc pit son.

[WillyMatt123]

Went to 8 star. Last visit wasn't so good, but previous ones were good to excellent. Called first, asked mama if Cindy was working. She says no. Yumi here and she it best one. Decided to take a flyer. Get there greeted by Jenny. I said, I'm here to see Yumi. She says Yumi doesn't work here anymore. I said huh? She did 30 minutes ago according to mama. She says how good she will take care of me. I say no, thanks anyway, I'm going to leave. Once I make up my mind to leave, that's it. I never change my mind. She continues to sell me and even though she's not my type, I cave and stay. What a frigging rookie mistake. Worst session of all time in a AMP. Will not let me put it all the way in, keeps pushing me back. Finally I say what the hell are you doing? She says how about I get in top. Ok, what the hell. Won't let me all the way in, positions so I cand put here down on it. I said what the fuck, get off me. Got dressed and left. Money down the drain, and I left untrained. My fault. NEVER CHANGE YOUR MIND. All my fault. Guarantee that never happens again. Thought about raising hell with mama, but would be pointless.

[Rgv956]

Anyone had extras in his place? Masseuse Is Hot! Her name is Keito. Just wondering if anyone is successful.

[JAsian]

Next to the tailor. In a small strip. Hungry Howie's is 2 businesses north and across the intersection.

I must be mistaken then. It was about 10 or 12 years ago.

[TeeTime69]

Passed by yesterday. Curious since its near.

I noticed this place off hayes just south of 18 mile. Looks like a typical AMP, strip mall with blinds closed 24/7. Has anyone tried it? Any feedback, massage quality, staff quality or extras? thanks in advance.

[SandersNut]

I never cracked the code at Asian Ivy either. I must have been to unexperienced in the hobby back then. Not long after striking out at both shops for to many times, that place at Rochester and I think 15 mile opened up with younger talent and they were usually all sitting on the couch when I walked in. Usually I got a choice. After a few successful visits there I was suddenly placed in a room with a white girl who just didn't play along. Her remarks were more on the lines of me feeling like I was possibly going to be entrapped so I didn't try anything. Not long after that I read on the forum of some 65 year old monger getting caught in the act and it got shut down, never to open again. Back to Oasis, that was the shop in the Plaza on a corner with a pizza place or Italian restaurant next door correct? Seems like everyone got what they went there for except me, LOL.

Next to the tailor. In a small strip. Hungry Howie's is 2 businesses north and across the intersection.

[JamieGreek2019]

And park in the back, go in the back door (heh) and up the stairs. First floor is just a nail salon.

Stay safe,

J.

Just google "Saigon Spa in Ferndale" and the address will come up.

[JAsian]

The owner / mamasan 30 something slender somewhat attractive gave massages for the first year or so that I went there. Then there were a few other women that worked there and the owner didn't give massages. I always got h / e there. There was one lady with huge fun bags that used to laugh a lot that I got f / s with but she was only there for a couple of weeks. It is as a convenient place for me so I went a couple times a month. The other spot was Asian ivy at livernois and square lake that gave a great massage w / prostate massage. Just a walk down memory lane.

I never cracked the code at Asian Ivy either. I must have been to unexperienced in the hobby back then. Not long after striking out at both shops for to many times, that place at Rochester and I think 15 mile opened up with younger talent and they were usually all sitting on the couch when I walked in. Usually I got a choice. After a few successful visits there I was suddenly placed in a room with a white girl who just didn't play along. Her remarks were more on the lines of me feeling like I was possibly going to be entrapped so I didn't try anything. Not long after that I read on the forum of some 65 year old monger getting caught in the act and it got shut down, never to open again. Back to Oasis, that was the shop in the Plaza on a corner with a pizza place or Italian restaurant next door correct? Seems like everyone got what they went there for except me, LOL.

[SandersNut]

I never was able to crack the code there. The main girl there ended up getting really big in the hips and then a much younger gal started working there that I thought was her younger sister. She wouldn't budge on anything but would allow DIY. Not my thing though.

The owner / mamasan 30 something slender somewhat attractive gave massages for the first year or so that I went there. Then there were a few other women that worked there and the owner didn't give massages. I always got h / e there. There was one lady with huge fun bags that used to laugh a lot that I got f / s with but she was only there for a couple of weeks. It is as a convenient place for me so I went a couple times a month. The other spot was Asian ivy at livernois and square lake that gave a great massage w / prostate massage. Just a walk down memory lane.

[JAsian]

I used to go there years ago to see a younger provider that moved there. She was great; everything on the menu except FS. I went once after she had moved on a saw a smokin hot Asian provider but zero extras. Too bad it's lame as it's convenient for me. Troy tends to be fairly strict on AMPs.

Stay safe,

J.

I never was able to crack the code there. The main girl there ended up getting really big in the hips and then a much younger gal started working there that I thought was her younger sister. She wouldn't budge on anything but would allow DIY. Not my thing though.

[Gyxser70]

She's been around for few years and finally this group has caught up with her. She's a consistent money grub gps ghetto queen. Even her IG reflects the same attitude. I don't know if the rules allow me to post her IG so I'll play it safe.

BTW some have linked her behaviour to Veronica. I wouldn't. That relationship isn't going to last.

Yes, my post #33109 on the last page will tell you what it's like if someone foolishly wanted to go and see her.

[BluthStory]

I'm visiting the area next week and read some reviews about saigon. Where is this at? I can't seem to find it in Google or Google maps at all. Anyone have an address I could have? Appreciate the help.

Just google "Saigon Spa in Ferndale" and the address will come up.

[MagnifiRod]

She's been around for few years and finally this group has caught up with her. She's a consistent money grub gps ghetto queen. Even her IG reflects the same attitude. I don't know if the rules allow me to post her IG so I'll play it safe.

BTW some have linked her behaviour to Veronica. I wouldn't. That relationship isn't going to last.

This one just came up on my radar. Just curious if any one has info on her. Pm's are fine. Thanks in. http://adultsearch.com/us/michigan/d...y-rubs/3250323.

[PantyLoverF]

Not worth it bro! Waste of time and money I know it's YMMV in this hobby but not if I can save a fellow monger some time and money. My experience a couple years back was bait and switch and then went up on the price after I arrived before I even got into the room which was a small studio. I left and did so respectfully as I was leaving she was like "If you a cheap ass just say that" 200 for a half hour without extra's? Gtfoh.

Thanks for saving me some cash and a bad time. Was going to go this weekend.