Massage Parlor Reports

[DeeMoney23]

Bruh, you really need to head out to McClean and go see Bella for a refresher. It's criminal that you don't have her in your HOF. Her teddies are literally perfection!

At some point in our existence as a species, some schmuck who fancies himself a philosopher came up with the phrase "The customer is always right". This was an absolutely devastating development in humankind's history as many of our directionless sheep bought into this idea and began behaving as such. As you and I both know though, the customer oftentimes is incorrect. In many cases, the aforementioned customer is also a steamy pile of jackal manure.

A group of pals and I made our way to Sweet Water Tavern for drinks and a delicious dinner last night. This restaurant was a frequent destination of ours pre-pandemic and I would often go to 8303 to attain the full belly, empty testicles euphoria that we all know and love. Since I haven't been there in so long I decide to pay a visit. The door opens and when I look behind it there's a Chinese, late 40's something named Mimi, with absolutely jumbo teddies spilling out of her dress. I recreate the Tiger Woods putt celebration meme in my head but not physically because I'm not a tool. I'm led to the room, pay the house fee and then hit the table. Mimi comes into the room and begins to give me a pretty good massage. After about 10 minutes though, there's a chime at the door. Another patron has arrived and the visit takes a turn for the worse.

The other masseuse working, Lisa, was apparently tied up and Mimi left out to answer the door. I hear another door open and close before the front door, followed by Chinese chatter. Said patron, who I have not referred to as "brah", because he could never be my brah as he is a self absorbed pickle jar full of rat piss, ends up seeing both women because of this kerfuffle. Mimi sends him off to the room with Lisa then returns to the room with me. We begin to hear the other dude raise his voice, going full Karen. I hear "No. I want you out of here. I want the other girl. " amongst other pretentious ramblings. Mimi leaves out to investigate and all I hear is his incessant "No, no, no" followed by a defeated "okay sir".

Lisa comes into the room in Mimi's stead. Her torso is flatter than my high school math teacher's tires the year he failed some of the brahs from the football team. She is however much cuter and younger looking. She apologizes and says she's going to finish. I tell her that everything is cool and that she is very beautiful. I'm both being nice and exaggerating. She proceeds to give me a pretty good massage. We flirt a lot and she laughs at my jokes. I'm having a nice time considering what went down.

Mimi made quick work of the Karen and he was leaving while Lisa was tickling my acorns and asking how much I was going to tip her. I told her I only wanted a Hugh Jackman and she asked me if I wanted to bang. I declined while simultaneously reaching up her skirt and grabbing what was surprisingly a nice, jiggly, meaty booty. It was so pleasant to the touch I was a tad startled. Mimi came to the door and checked in with some indecipherable Chinese. It is at this point that I decided to go big air. I asked Lisa to call Mimi into the room and she complied. Once in she apologized for the earlier inconvenience. I assure her that the apologies are unnecessary, but that I have a different problem. "I have fallen in love with two women in one night and now I don't know what to do. " This joke was a success and laughs were had. I ask if I can pay the difference for 30 minutes of 4 hand so that they can both join the finish. They agree to the finish for tips but declined to extra house due to the Karen incident. Shoutout to them for customer service.

Four hand was the absolute last thing I cared about. My main concern was getting to Mimi's teds. They both agreed to pop their teddies out. Lisa's were okay. Mimi flopped hers out and they were a marvelous, meaty sight. As per usual, your Google search for comparison is "Anri Okita JAV". Anri is 5'6". If you imagine what those teddies you see in Google images would look like on a 4'11" Chinese 48 year old with a cat face, then you have Mimi. Reaching up both skirts reveals that neither of them had on panties. Mimi's ass is as unremarkable as Lisa's teddies.

They take turns tugging me and both had good technique. I'm squeezing thick teddies and jiggling meaty ass as they stroke away and rub oil all over my balls. I'm having too much fun and I'm not paying attention to finishing. Mimi makes her way down to Jr. And starts smacking her teddies with him. I ask for the ted bang and she gives it to me. Lisa caresses and scratches me all over my chest and shoulders. I haven't been paying an iota of attention to her so I take a break from my ted gaze, look at her and tell her that she's beautiful. I'm harder than the Valkyrie boss fights in God of War and before long I shoot Super Saiyan ropes all over this poor woman's teds and neck. 7 house, 7 to each of them.

I got dressed and they returned to the room to refresh it. I was given a water bottle and a big hug by both of them. I asked if I could come back to see them again. Mimi said and I quote "Yes. Next time you should fuck us. " This reply sufficiently sent me to my car with a boner. But my fresh boner and water bottle were not the only thing I took with me to my car. I also carried a conundrum. The entitled patron who shared 8303 with me, although briefly, annoyed me greatly. His stunt was so maddening that I wished I were Guile from Street Fighter so that I could Flash Kick him across the forehead. His stunt however was the vehicle by which I had a soul sapping, four hand pop with handfuls of meaty T&A. So is it "Screw you" or "Thank you"? I don't know. All I know is that it's update time.

Frankie Digitola Big Teddies Hall of Fame.

1. Kiko at Diamond Flash Spa. Best massage in the DMV. Gorgeous teddies. Google "Audreysimone Monika Vapes". That's what Kiko's teddies look like.

2. Amanda at Queen Spa. Playful, firecracker Chinese provider. "Nene Tanaka jjda-024" is your Google search. Teddies look like those on the cover with long, thick nipples.

3. Tara. Thai legend. If you Google "Seana Rae definefetish" her and Tara have very similar bodies, but Tara's teddies are firmer with thicker nipples. Second biggest teds in the HOF.

4. Lily. Early 30's Chinese girl at CiCi Oriental Spa in Fredericksburg. Google "Gianna Michaels dress and heels". That balcony photo shoot is what Lily's body looks like, with less booty. Gorgeous teddies.

5. Mimi at 8303. Late 40's something Chinese provider. Teddies like Anri Okita. Third biggest. 8303 used to be a revolving door. Hopefully she sticks around.

6. Marianna. 50 something Ukrainian BBW in Silver Spring. Google "Porche Dali these tits'll knock ya out" (cringe I know), for her body type. Her teddies although being around the same size, are much nicer. Google "SPRD-632 Horikawa Nami" for nipple appearance and placement. Best edge tugger in the DMV.

7. Apple. Thick, Thai indy. Google "Codi Vore". Apple looks like that with much less of a tummy.

8. Nikki. Thai indy and owner of the biggest teddies in the HOF. Google "Ryan Smiles pawged" and look at the pics of her in the teal bathing suit. Now Google "my_vice_is_back nudes" and imagine those teddies with thicker nipples on the Ryan Smiles body and you have Nikki.

9. Vandara. Medium build, 50 something Thai indy with teds similar to Tomoko Kamisaka. Second best massage in the HOF.

Almost back to 10 brahs.

[Rreemptivecum]

I hadn't been to here for a while. Back this week and called them and was walking in the door 30 minutes later. Grace hugged me in the room, took the fee, and as I was undressing and she came in. She looked good in her very skimpy pink outfit and also gave me a very suggestive hug. She's very friendly.

The massage was intense; she worked hard on my shoulders and definitely got rid of some knots there that have been bugging me. She also allowed for plenty to roaming up and down her incredibly smooth thighs and up above.

After a bit of teasing she had me turn over and off fell the few clothes she had on. Some intense oral and my fingers found themselves probing and being wanted in places that make me want to come back very soon. She's also incredibly tight and totally got into the moment. Grace may be in her early 40's, she knows how to enjoy herself, and make sure who's with her does too.

[MakeMKum]

The mouthwash has a long history in Korean mongering since before I started back in the 1980's. It is customary to share a small paper cup of Listerine before and after the act to freshen up ones breath and get the taste of pussy off your tongue. The current flavor is blue Listerine hence the name "Blur Toast". Nothing to worry about, just good service.

You're right! It was blue mouthwash!!

[DoctorDoctor]

https://us-nova.bedpage.com/therapeu.../23060756.html

Has anyone partaken? She's advertised on BP for a while but no reviews here or on the other site. Any intel is appreciated. Thanks.

She's part of a Thai group. Think Carter was part but not 100% sure.

Back to Diana. She's sweet, a bit older than pics, still pretty. Communicates well. My experience was ok. But that's more me the. Her. Try her and report back.

[SexyD]

I pride myself on my DATY game. Mouth wash is standard operating procedure at the spas that I frequent. I know I have done a good job when my face and hair are soaked and glistening like a Krispy Kreme donut.

I've had this offered to me more than a few times after DATY. I don't have scientific data to support my theory, but comparing the ones who did versus didn't offer mouth wash has good correlation with those who orgasmed versus those who faked it.

So if offered, take it as a compliment that you drained her juices and she doesn't want you going home with pussy juice on your breath.

[Member #6802]

A first for me. I stopped in on a Spa in Springfield (DM for details if interested). Had a lovely time with my provider. Because of age and ED, I'm no longer a FS guy but instead enjoy my release time exploring, sucking the tits, DATY, etc. This provider was all in. Very arousing tit on butt and back rub. On the flip, she was already completely naked. Got 69 going. Finished then the oddity. She warm towel cleaned me off and provided me with a cup of mouth wash. A first for me. Should I be concerned?

I've had this offered to me more than a few times after DATY. I don't have scientific data to support my theory, but comparing the ones who did versus didn't offer mouth wash has good correlation with those who orgasmed versus those who faked it.

So if offered, take it as a compliment that you drained her juices and she doesn't want you going home with pussy juice on your breath.

[FourNick8]

A first for me. I stopped in on a Spa in Springfield (DM for details if interested). Had a lovely time with my provider. Because of age and ED, I'm no longer a FS guy but instead enjoy my release time exploring, sucking the tits, DATY, etc. This provider was all in. Very arousing tit on butt and back rub. On the flip, she was already completely naked. Got 69 going. Finished then the oddity. She warm towel cleaned me off and provided me with a cup of mouth wash. A first for me. Should I be concerned?

The mouthwash has a long history in Korean mongering since before I started back in the 1980's. It is customary to share a small paper cup of Listerine before and after the act to freshen up ones breath and get the taste of pussy off your tongue. The current flavor is blue Listerine hence the name "Blur Toast". Nothing to worry about, just good service.

[MakeMKum]

A first for me. I stopped in on a Spa in Springfield (DM for details if interested). Had a lovely time with my provider. Because of age and ED, I'm no longer a FS guy but instead enjoy my release time exploring, sucking the tits, DATY, etc. This provider was all in. Very arousing tit on butt and back rub. On the flip, she was already completely naked. Got 69 going. Finished then the oddity. She warm towel cleaned me off and provided me with a cup of mouth wash. A first for me. Should I be concerned?

[ThaiMeUp1]

https://us-nova.bedpage.com/therapeu.../23060756.html

Has anyone partaken? She's advertised on BP for a while but no reviews here or on the other site. Any intel is appreciated. Thanks.

[Serpico99]

Haveyou tried to go back? Wondering if Nova that I recieved was all that's on the menu.

Yes. I posted a review. Then went back a second time a few days later. Jessica does a good edging which made me shoot a big load but she also said she is working for tips so she isn't going to be satisfied with a 40 tip. Her edging fills a niche that I seek out however she expects a little too much for tips. I got to suck on her small tits the second time I went. Not going to make this one of my normal rotations.

[Sexture96]

I live in MD and I'm interested to know where is Green spa.

Green spa is the one at Stuart Pro Village. Like Elden St and enter off of Laurel Way. Near the Fairfax Radiology Breast Center.

Piggybacking on DaddyKarma, Nini was there when I went. I'd say she was mid thirties. Had a really nice rack. Bigger and more plump than most Asian girls. Had that brownish / orangeish hair dye. I plowed the absolute shit out of her. So damn tight. A screamer. Yelled some profanity in Chinese because my shit was wide hahaa. Her English was good. She was a good sport and a real good time. I'll have to try Lisa next time at Green Spa if she still around.

[FourNick8]

Boy, did this report cause me to get another shower. The "purple sheet" triggered my memory. That was where I went for my very first experience into the mongering hobby a year ago.

Hope she's changed or washed this sheet since then.

I h.

I just kept pounding her until pop #2 comes and she says time up.

I lay on top of her with full body weight until she pushes me off and when I pulled out the bag slipped off and stayed in her pussy. When she raised up and the fluids spilled out on her purple sheets. While I cleaned up without her help and got dressed I watched her dab the purple sheets with tissue and straighten the bed. That is when I threw up a little in my mouth.

LOL. I hope she changed them after my visit and before yours.

[Member #6802]

...I noticed things I didn't notice on the first trip. That same purple sheet you see in the link....
I can't return.

To be fair, this was for the Javier Rd location, didn't get an opportunity to visit the Arlington Blvd location. As always, YMMV.

https://us-nova.bedpage.com/bodyrubs.../23048097.html

Boy, did this report cause me to get another shower. The "purple sheet" triggered my memory. That was where I went for my very first experience into the mongering hobby a year ago.

Hope she's changed or washed this sheet since then.

I h.

[Patch24m]

Had another fun time yesterday with Sarah at J&Y in Burke. I frequent this establishment and most of the time I call ahead and ask who's working but this time, I didn't call ahead and trusted the luck of the draw. I went up the steps and rang the doorbell. Door opens to the tall and lovely Sarah. She was dressed in heels and a black nightie. Her looks are still deceiving. Sometimes she looks like she's 50, sometimes she looks like she's under 30 -- it all depends on how the light hits her face. Her body is banging in any light. She takes me to the room and takes the house fee for an hour. As I do sometimes when I'm familiar with a provider, I went ahead and also gave her my donation for her services.

She takes me to the shower and gives me the best shower I've had in years. Every inch, every crevice, of my body was sparking clean. It was so good that I had to compliment her for the fabulous shower. Afterwards, she takes me directly to back to the room. The sauna is skipped (its a thousand degrees outside so I didn't mind it). I needed a massage so I went in face down and let her do her magic. Her massage has improved 10-fold since the last time I saw her. Pressure was very good, long slow strokes, it was very therapeutic.

The transition to the main event was seamless since I already gave her my donation. Sarah was like a girlfriend who has not seen me for months. Very sensual BBBJ for a few minutes and then with the cover for more sensual CBJ. She mounts me cowgirl and works it low and slow. She brings her face close to mine and I go in for a DFK and she didn't shy away. It was so hot, I almost popped in the bag! This went on for a few minutes until I had to tell her my turn (or else I would've popped). I bang her in mish for a few minutes until I couldn't hold it any longer.

She cleans me up and proceeds to give me a nice foot massage followed by a head massage -- all topless. She says all done and tells me to take my time as she leaves the room. I looked at the clock and we went 5 minutes over time. Time well spent. She works Tuesday to Saturday (with minimal changes in schedule). Stay safe and be kind to the ladies.

[SmittyJ]

I tried hitting this spot up today, as a walk-in during the lunch hour, after reading a review of this place reporting on a provider wearing some shorts (a rare uniform of choice for Chinese AMPs around here where the majority of the Chinese parlor providers prefer to wear leggings). It looks to be a one-woman shop as the woman who came out from the back said they were busy and to come back in 40 minutes. I just nodded and left, having other things to do. She was wearing this loose leather pants that went to her calves. She was slim and ok looking, older, but her attire didn't convince me to hang out in Warrenton for 40 more minutes. Will visit another time when I'm in the area.

I am always turned on to find Asian parlor providers dress in some short shorts- they are trying to strut their stuff like a hen attracting a cock bird and attempting to be a little slutty LOL.

Haveyou tried to go back? Wondering if Nova that I recieved was all that's on the menu.