Thread: Massage Parlor Reports
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04-23-26 23:56 #1414Senior Member

Posts: 138Spot
First one on Colorado by Madre is not good.
Second can be, but taste in Chinese and YMMV. They want to be liked.
Originally Posted by IntoNOut
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04-22-26 13:30 #1413Senior Member

Posts: 242Interesting
Well the name has some good associations anyway. Not the aromatherapy kind, but the FS kind (ie the shuttered Garvey stable).
Originally Posted by IntoNOut
[View Original Post]
I'll try to TOFTT next week. At the least, may be a good massage / L1 place, but will come prepared.
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04-22-26 01:32 #1412Senior Member

Posts: 457Lavender
Saw a new spot open up just west of madre on Colorado. Lavender spa. Anyone check it out yet? I couldn't stop to see but I'll check BP to see if any ads send me there. Then I'll know if it'll be any fun.
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04-21-26 23:45 #1411Regular Member

Posts: 4How much did that run you?
Planning to visit tomorrow. What was the damage?
Originally Posted by LoneStar1979
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04-21-26 20:19 #1410Senior Member

Posts: 242Haven't read one in years
Not sure what admin meant exactly (since its deleted). My guess is that yes, it was a long dreamy first-person play-by-play, without honest details, or actionable intelligence that helps us.
Originally Posted by Instantcummer
[View Original Post]
I'm not aware of actual explicit stated requirements for reviews here, but as I understand it from the mission statement, it is to help each other find consensual sex-- with specific providers. (In my book, specific details on those providers are essential to help choose among all the other generically "hot" or "shaved" ones).
Reviews that give no objective details beyond the generic, and are full of ego-centered, self aggrandizing narratives, are less valuable in this mission.
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04-21-26 18:01 #1409Regular Member

Posts: 23Please Clarify
Thanks again for your kind words on my recent review!
Originally Posted by VulvaNut
[View Original Post]
There's a deleted banned review here and I'm curious to why it didn't meet the criteria to be posted here?
I'm not sure what a penthouse review looks like or the kind of details that would go into it.
Is it a TGTBT experience that almost seems like a fictionalized porn novel? The braggadocious demeanor of the reviewer himself?
Or a shill that clearly is doing it so that the spa generates more customers? An oversell basically?
I know there are explanations here, but I'd thought I ask to clarify exactly what this is.
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04-18-26 15:48 #1408Banned Member

Posts: 17Alice at Butterfly
[Deleted by Admin]
Seriously, you should try Penthouse Forum.
A2
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04-17-26 10:55 #1407Senior Member

Posts: 35Asa at Happy
I had a free afternoon today, so I went to Happy and saw Asa there.
Asa greeted me with a warm hug and led me to her room. We quickly handled payments, undressed, grabbed a towel, and took a nice shower together. Asa is around 5'2, very slim but tits are big on her small frame. They are natural and I guess D cups.
After she dried me off, we went back to the room and moved to the table. We lay side by side and started making out before she moved down and gave me a great BBBJ. I slid up and down, controlling the rhythm while she sucked deep and made some sexy gagging sounds. We paused for a moment, she laughed, spun around, and we moved into 69. Her trimmed pussy tasted sweet and no smell. I made her sit on my face and ride it until she came hard.
She climbed off, caught her breath, and said it was my turn. She jumped on top and impaled herself on me. From there we went through CG, ACG, and RCG with great rhythm as she pounded me hard. We then switched to lazy doggy, K9, FDAU, and finally mish. She told me to cum and I blasted a big load in the bag.
We both lay there for a second, tired and sweaty. We still have 20 mins so she gave me a back massage to relax me which felt pretty comfortable.
Time was up, she helped me put on clothes and said our goodbyes. She handed me a bottle of water as I left, feeling like a very happy man.
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04-17-26 09:53 #1406Regular Member

Posts: 3Chinese Medical. One More Massage Session
Following up to visit again. Didn't ask for anyone specific, I thought I would have gotten Michelle again. But this time, in coming Nancy. She is 5'2" between auntie and grandma. She has the textbook very mature body. Small A / B cup soft breasts, very light pink nipples, tummy, soft body, and makeup. She would do anything you ask, that is the good thing. The bad thing is that you wouldn't want to ask too much. She gave a passable neck and shoulder rub. After the flip, she rubbed the leg and body from one side of me and fingers were tickling the sensitive area. I was probably too much in reserve and got a very hard rod from the light touches. She offered everything possible on the menu. She pulled off her tops and showed a pair of tits that was more fitting for a very young woman; her mid section was typically granny that is round and soft. DT, BBBJ were all I wanted from her. She was mechanical for sure; but also lacking of passion. I just wanted her to edge me for as long as I could. Turned out, I actually didn't finish with her. It was completely fine and my choice. 60 min session lasted again 45 min. 0. 6 HF + very moderate tips for a C-grade massage and edging session.
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04-14-26 14:10 #1405Regular Member

Posts: 3Chinese Medical. OK Massage Session
Texted and set up an appointment mid-afternoon. I had no expectation just knew that they are all very mature providers. I actually wanted a good massage to loosen my stiff neck and shoulders. Probably the wrong place for that purpose. I knew there were plenty of items on the menu that was longer than Cheesecake Factory. I laid down and incoming Michelle (I only knew her name after the session). She was a bit surprised that I didn't peel off her clothes or had her DT immediately. She actually gave a true and honest B+ massage focusing on the knots on my neck and shoulders using hands and elbows. She motioned a few times if I needed anything. Didn't order any extra on the menu but we chatted. I had a 60 min session that lasted maybe 45 min. Going back soon and maybe I'll try some of her famous menu items. Or I should try other providers there too? I prefer more mature (50+) and like to have some rapport. Maybe just me?
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04-08-26 21:00 #1404Senior Member

Posts: 138Kings massage
Surprised nothing here about newer kings massage on walnut. Big place, looks like parking in back and definitely open late. On the list to try, anyone been there?
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04-07-26 22:07 #1403Senior Member

Posts: 242The wrong kind of details
Yep. For clarity, you mean the long, "next, this happened", play by play type.
Originally Posted by Aaabbbccc123
[View Original Post]
Way too often actual, objective details that describe the particular provider reviewed-- face, and especially unique body features, are sorely lacking.
Do you suck nipples and daty? Great, then I want to know if provider A has large suckable erasers, or if provider B has an innie or an outie pussy.
Not just if she has "big tits" and "is hot", or "shaven below. " -there are literally hundreds around that fit this "description".
We're not 19 year olds who've never been laid, many of us care about sampling particular body types and features.
So, in this sense many reviews are lacking useful details. Describe the girl.
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04-07-26 19:41 #1402Regular Member

Posts: 55Noted
You're exactly right! I'm learning the details and services that are more important to me, than a shilled over exaggerated review of the penthouse stories.
Originally Posted by Aaabbbccc123
[View Original Post]
The only way to know is to go and try it yourself. Then form your opinion on it. It's ironic how these reviews influenced me on going. Now I every time I see a review here, it certainly is not the case anymore. I can see why there's mixed opinions about it.
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04-07-26 19:05 #1401Senior Member

Posts: 44Dear Penthouse
It's the excessive details that are annoying. No one gives a fuck about half of what is written here.
Originally Posted by Cockyazn
[View Original Post]
Face: Pretty or slutty? Does she look like any public figures?
Ethnicity.
Age.
Height.
Weight.
Hair length.
Boob size.
Pussy: Bush, trimmed, waxed.
DFK / LFK.
Shower preview.
Multiple positions.
Leg blocking / size issues.
BBJ / CBJ.
CFS / BBFS.
Squirt.
Anal.
Toys.
Is she vocal or eyes closed till she says, "baby, hurry up and cum. ".
If your small, average, or magnum. This is so important for what type of service to expect.
CIM / CIP / CIA.
Time / cost.
How many pops.
Did she mention she's leaving soon.
This is what matters. This is the info we need to share.
We don't care about how many O's she had, how she smiled and couldn't wait to feel your dick inside her. "Curves in all the right places" doesn't mean shit. One mans curvy ass is another man's fat cow that needs to exercise. I'm sure there are a few that enjoy the penthouse stories, but I'd imagine most of just want important details on the best bang for the buck. Yes, treat these women with respect. Be nice and respectful. But don't be fooled. They're mostly faking it all the time. I'm sure there are some that see regulars and genuinely enjoy their company. Sure there may be some real moments, but for the average AMP with a rotating roster, it's mostly performative. Enjoy it for what it is. Keep expectations in check.
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04-07-26 13:55 #1400Senior Member

Posts: 48Sunny Happy Spa
Was in the area yesterday so before back home I went to Happy and met Sunny.
She came into the room looking happy and ready to play. Solid first impression. Quick hf and tips, fast rinse, and we jumped right in.
She started with slow, teasing DFK while her soft hands grazed all over my cock, fingertips lightly cupping and rolling my balls. Guided my hands straight to her ass and tits (nice mm b cups); we grinded just enough to get me rock hard and aching for more.
Had me lie down. She dropped for a nice, wet BBBJ, good suction, no teeth, and took her time. Then she climbed on top, parked her already slick pussy right on my face. I spread her trimmed Bush pussy and licked her clit, she got noticeably wetter and let out some sexy moans.
I was rock hard so I asked for the cover, she smiled and slipped the cover on, and she slid down for CG. Her hip movement is on point: steady, rolling rhythm that hits just right. Couldn't take it for long, flipped her into reverse cowgirl so I could watch her ass bounce. Cheeks clapping hard, her moans getting louder, pussy gripping and pulsing around the shaft with every drop.
Started feeling the edge, so we switched to missionary. She reached down, rubbing her clit fast while pressing her fingers along my shaft on every thrust, extra friction that pushed me over quickly. Told her I was close; she wrapped her legs tighter, pulled me in deep, and egged me on until I popped hard inside the cover.
Quick clean up and our time was almost up. She gave me a quick massage then helped me dress up. She didn't rush me out, stayed engaged the whole time. Decent girl.








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