Massage Parlor Reports

[HelloThar]

The key to the reviews is how you use them. Find the frequent posters who seem to share your tastes and interests, are similar in age and fitness, etc, and track your results when you see the girls they describe. There are easily half a dozen regular posters who I personally find very reliable predictors for my future experience, and others I don't find helpful at all. There are a few who seem to have a talent for being disappointed and almost seem to enjoy proving that all those happy reviewers are liars. Not pointing any fingers or naming names, but weather is a local phenomenon, and it's important to understand that guys like Doggy and Snowy bring the sunshine with them, rather than unreliably report positive experiences. Be that guy. Again, everyone has bad experiences now and then no matter who they are. But you can tilt the odds in your favor.

This is what I more or less do except I automatically assume everyone is exaggerating to a degree about their experience. So what's more important to me are the patterns of reviews or certain keywords I like. For instance, if barely any reviews mention a bubbly attitude, kissing, etc. , I likely won't match well, but if many do, there's a better chance though not guaranteed. To me service is king, I don't care how hot someone is. I'll take a mid girl with amazing service over a stunner who just starfishes.

Shanghai / best do still have their duds now and then. I think the MMS tend to filter them out quickly, but they're still there. Have definitely had the occasional session where it was mechanical and they weren't even good at faking interest (and no bigger turn off than being rushed). But will also say most tend to be solid or better; granted I only visit when someone in particular interests me.

[Freaky360]

She's one I haven't seen, but she's been described as very cute. Bummer about your session. I know there's no sure thing but I would recommend calling ahead for a specific person you've seen well reviewed. I do think it establishes a better tone when they know you've asked for them specifically, and it also helps the scheduler turn away or divert excess business. But I am definitely not trying to lay this on you. Seems like she really fell short of standards. If you want to restore your faith in women and you don't mind the drive there's always Hailey at Blue Jade for as close to a sure thing as there is.

She was smoking hot for sure. I was like, "Bummer it won't be her" because I got the vibe immediately that she found me repulsive. I figured she might get the old mamasan to come take care of me and tbh I probably would've had a better time. I am not super picky. I'd rather a super fun time with a solid 5 lady than a total dud with a level 9 stunner.

Once I got in the room and got ready, I was watching the tablet with the security cams and saw one dude leave, and then she was just outside the door arguing with someone on the phone. Probably bitching that she had to be the one to service me.

I don't get down that way much so I don't frequent any places really. There's nothing solid up Skagit and north from there unless you want to cross the border. Probably will be a while before I try something new unless I get rock solid intel before hitting them up.

I have a few UTR providers I normally go to but the only problem with them is timing. None of them have any time management skills and I had to keep on a time schedule with no room for time wasting shenanigans. I figured Shanghai would be a decent bet but I lost the dice roll on that one. I love Asian women so I've always enjoyed AMPs through the years and never really had a bad experience with them.

I'm heading for a trip to SEA in a few months, so that is my light at the end of my mongering tunnel. .

[Freaky360]

Was this on Sunday? By the time I left Shanni, they had 5-6 people waiting. I had to leave after 45 minutes and I have never seen her rush. On Sunday she did kinda rush towards the end because we usually have cuddle sessions that go on beyond the hour but this time she wanted me to GTFO because they had waaay to many people waiting and they all arrived within like 5 minutes.

I guess to supply is yet to meet the demand LOL.

No Friday at 11 am. There was no one else waiting. One dude left after I was put into my room. So it seemed slow.

[Gibs789]

In my experience most reviews here are not that reliable.

The key to the reviews is how you use them. Find the frequent posters who seem to share your tastes and interests, are similar in age and fitness, etc, and track your results when you see the girls they describe. There are easily half a dozen regular posters who I personally find very reliable predictors for my future experience, and others I don't find helpful at all. There are a few who seem to have a talent for being disappointed and almost seem to enjoy proving that all those happy reviewers are liars. Not pointing any fingers or naming names, but weather is a local phenomenon, and it's important to understand that guys like Doggy and Snowy bring the sunshine with them, rather than unreliably report positive experiences. Be that guy. Again, everyone has bad experiences now and then no matter who they are. But you can tilt the odds in your favor.

[Jazzy Daddy]

In my experience most reviews here are not that reliable.

I decided to go in blind for my first time. The gal that greeted me was super pretty. I couldn't understand most of what she was saying so her English was limited with a thick and heavy accent. She asked if I had an appointment and I replied no. I couldn't hear her name for the life of me between her mumbling it with such a heavy accent.

She said 10 minutes then, put me in the waiting booth. Same gal came back, brought me into the room and said get ready. A few minutes later, she comes back in and gets to work with the worst massage with zero effort. No sense in wasting time with that then, so my hands start roaming, lift the skirt and see her kitty. Very sexy, huge thigh gap and I pull her into my face. She pops off with the "Oh baby" talk but it's so stale and scripted with zero effort being made.

She comes around the table, gets to cleaning everything and starts in on my dong. Basically just flicking her tongue around the head and quick licks up and down, after a bit, I told her to actually suck it. She does and again, it's just her going through the motions. No changing speed, rhythm, or use of her hands. After a few seconds of that, she jumps up to put the rubber on, and I tell her she needs to slow down and start putting some effort into it.

She hops into 69 and it's good. Clean kitty below a tight balloon knot. After another few minutes she again tries to get the rubber on. I say no, and get her on her knees for some slow and easy face fucking. She is annoyed and obviously wants to just get me to pop and get it over with because she keeps saying to fuck her now.

I let her put the rubber on and she lays on her back. The pussy is ok, not tight, but not super loose. She's giving the worst fake moans and "fuck me baby" diatribe. She literally is telling me to cum already and it's not even been 15 minutes into the ordeal. Her boobs are nice, I can't tell if real or not, they were pretty soft and seemed natural and I didn't see any scars. She does not want to kiss at all and I have to repeatedly ask her to actually kiss me full on. The irony is, she had me use mouthwash before hand, yet her breath was stale and not good. I told her she needs to use some mouthwash and she was visibly irked.

I start licking her feet and toes and she starts moaning legit and is squirming all over. She does have the sexiest feet, I will give her that. Perfectly manicured, extremely soft and perfectly proportioned. I get her into different positions and she's complaining it hurts too much. I am not huge in length, but a bit above average in girth, but considering the sloshing sounds it didn't seem like she was at her limit, especially since I wasn't slamming it home, it was nice and easy since I was just getting started. She insisted on missionary and demanding I cum in the bag.

I said no I will cum in her mouth instead. She is again visibly annoyed. After a little more time with some foot play, she gets on her knees again. She was doing that annoying thing where they keep a wipe in their one hand and spit into after a few seconds of sucking. I see that a lot with Asian providers. Huge turn off for me. I tell her to drop the rag, get both hands going on it, get some ball action going. After a few more minutes, she's complaining she is too tired to keep sucking and using one free hand and one hand with a giant rag in it, isn't feeling great.

So I tell her to squeeze the boys so I can cum in her mouth. She keeps trying to pull away so I have to keep saying to stay in place. Finally as soon as I cum, she immediately backs up, starts jerking me wildly with the rag in her hand, and is getting the load into it. She then reaches down and wipes a blob of it off the tip and goes to put it with her finger in my mouth and I grabbed her finger and put it towards her face instead. She was less than thrilled.

The bell up front rings, so she has to answer the door, comes back in, says get dressed, I said I still have 20 minutes and she said she has no time left and we have to end it.

It was the absolute worst AMP experience I've had, ever. I am not a troll, I am showered fresh and drove right there, dressed business casual, not disgustingly overweight, just slightly chubby, shaved smooth down there and up top, nice teeth, etc. So I don't get the lazy and robotic attitude. I was there at 11 am, so I would think it's not an issue of a 9 pm visit and she's had 5 other clients already.

It was literally the exact opposite of almost every review of the place that I've seen on here. I love GFE providers and have never had any issues ever when seeing them. Of course, I end up with the one lady there who apparently hates her job and clients or at least hated me right off the bat LOL.

[Gibs789]

Yeah, I get that, but when you read 9 million absolutely insanely amazing reviews and you go in and get a total turd, it's even more of a bummer. I could see if it was a 50/50 where it was hit or miss most of the time, but it seems like there are 99.9% of perfect reviews and I ended up in the. 1% LOL.

She's one I haven't seen, but she's been described as very cute. Bummer about your session. I know there's no sure thing but I would recommend calling ahead for a specific person you've seen well reviewed. I do think it establishes a better tone when they know you've asked for them specifically, and it also helps the scheduler turn away or divert excess business. But I am definitely not trying to lay this on you. Seems like she really fell short of standards. If you want to restore your faith in women and you don't mind the drive there's always Hailey at Blue Jade for as close to a sure thing as there is.

[Manager9]

Did you actually get a name or are you just guessing?

Amy baby and Sunny work that that shop. I am guessing it was Amy.

[Manager9]

I decided to go in blind for my first time. The gal that greeted me was super pretty. I couldn't understand most of what she was saying so her English was limited with a thick and heavy accent. She asked if I had an appointment and I replied no. I couldn't hear her name for the life of me between her mumbling it with such a heavy accent.

She said 10 minutes then, put me in the waiting booth. Same gal came back, brought me into the room and said get ready. A few minutes later, she comes back in and gets to work with the worst massage with zero effort. No sense in wasting time with that then, so my hands start roaming, lift the skirt and see her kitty. Very sexy, huge thigh gap and I pull her into my face. She pops off with the "Oh baby" talk but it's so stale and scripted with zero effort being made.

She comes around the table, gets to cleaning everything and starts in on my dong. Basically just flicking her tongue around the head and quick licks up and down, after a bit, I told her to actually suck it. She does and again, it's just her going through the motions. No changing speed, rhythm, or use of her hands. After a few seconds of that, she jumps up to put the rubber on, and I tell her she needs to slow down and start putting some effort into it.

She hops into 69 and it's good. Clean kitty below a tight balloon knot. After another few minutes she again tries to get the rubber on. I say no, and get her on her knees for some slow and easy face fucking. She is annoyed and obviously wants to just get me to pop and get it over with because she keeps saying to fuck her now.

Was this on Sunday? By the time I left Shanni, they had 5-6 people waiting. I had to leave after 45 minutes and I have never seen her rush. On Sunday she did kinda rush towards the end because we usually have cuddle sessions that go on beyond the hour but this time she wanted me to GTFO because they had waaay to many people waiting and they all arrived within like 5 minutes.

I guess to supply is yet to meet the demand LOL.

[Shogun Hua]

$200 for the hour up front. I kept additional for a possible tip but it wasn't needed obviously.

That's why I went earlier in the day to try to catch them before they're dragging their butts after a long day of work.

I've had appointments with exhausted providers before, but this felt more like complete disinterest with a side of "I'm so hot, he will be happy with the crumbs I feed him" kinda vibe. The massage was literally laughable. I have no doubt she would've been content doing that for an hour. She was literally standing up as I laid on the table and was barely pushing her two hands onto my body. There was zero technique or effort.

I know not all the ladies in an AMP are CMT level trained, but I've had massages from civvy female friends on my back, head, neck, shoulders, etc that were a million times better than the one I got this weekend.

Dang. You paid the appropriate amount for 60 minutes. I usually massage the girls myself, it is fun for me. I've had one therapist one hand massage me while they were looking at their phone. Not at Shanghai, but at some other shop.

[Freaky360]

Did you say how much you paid and for how much time?

I'm sorry to hear this, but I'd have to imagine it's tough to provide excellent service every time to each customer all day long.

$200 for the hour up front. I kept additional for a possible tip but it wasn't needed obviously.

That's why I went earlier in the day to try to catch them before they're dragging their butts after a long day of work.

I've had appointments with exhausted providers before, but this felt more like complete disinterest with a side of "I'm so hot, he will be happy with the crumbs I feed him" kinda vibe. The massage was literally laughable. I have no doubt she would've been content doing that for an hour. She was literally standing up as I laid on the table and was barely pushing her two hands onto my body. There was zero technique or effort.

I know not all the ladies in an AMP are CMT level trained, but I've had massages from civvy female friends on my back, head, neck, shoulders, etc that were a million times better than the one I got this weekend.

[Shogun Hua]

It was literally the exact opposite of almost every review of the place that I've seen on here. I love GFE providers and have never had any issues ever when seeing them. Of course, I end up with the one lady there who apparently hates her job and clients or at least hated me right off the bat LOL.

Did you say how much you paid and for how much time?

I'm sorry to hear this, but I'd have to imagine it's tough to provide excellent service every time to each customer all day long.

[Freaky360]

That's a bummer.

But it happens more often than a lot of us would like to admit. There has never been a Sure Thing in this game.

Yeah, I get that, but when you read 9 million absolutely insanely amazing reviews and you go in and get a total turd, it's even more of a bummer. I could see if it was a 50/50 where it was hit or miss most of the time, but it seems like there are 99.9% of perfect reviews and I ended up in the. 1% LOL.

[Freaky360]

Did you actually get a name or are you just guessing?

She said her name but she was a mushmouth mumbler. Had an EEE sound at the end but was a short name. She refused to use the phone to translate for some reason.

[Marko Ramius]

... It was literally the exact opposite of almost every review of the place that I've seen on here...

That's a bummer.

But it happens more often than a lot of us would like to admit. There has never been a Sure Thing in this game.

[Gibs789]

I decided to go in blind for my first time. The gal that greeted me was super pretty. I couldn't understand most of what she was saying so her English was limited with a thick and heavy accent. She asked if I had an appointment and I replied no. I couldn't hear her name for the life of me between her mumbling it with such a heavy accent.
.

Did you actually get a name or are you just guessing?