EMP (European Massage Parlor) Reports

[JayKay8]

Sounds like the Noble Square girls have an apartment again not much further north than before. Around the Damen / North / Milwaukee intersection in Wicker. Not sure if its long term or temporary though.

Thanks for the heads up! Their new place feels a lot more private, and I like that the booker gave me a code to the door instead of having me wait around to be buzzed in.

I had a 1 hour session with Amanda. She's tiny, maybe 5' or 5'2", big C / D tits, and a little bit of pudge in her middle. She started off with a very perfunctory massage, and we started making small talk. The conversation meandered to where she was from (Ukraine) and her status in the US (and lack of work permit), and she joked about getting married for a greencard. I should have picked up on the red flags, but I was distracted by her incredible tits massaging my back. She started asking about me, and I made the mistake of telling her the truth. Big mistake. Her voice brightened noticeably, and I looked back to see her with a beaming smile. She starts pushing hard about dating, getting married, and lots of stuff I really, really don't want to talk about. I manage to smile and nod through it all, but I think it only encouraged her.

On the flip, her technique was relatively mediocre. Light grip and slow strokes don't really do it for me, but she did rub her amazing tits all over me. I had her straddle me in the 69 position so I could touch her pussy. She has the smallest, cutest pink little pussy I've ever seen. Made my mouth water with how tight and perfect it looked, but she made it clear the FIV and DATY was off limits. I rubbed her clit until she was dripping wet, and then put my thumb at her entrance. She stiffened and stopped stroking as I started pushing inside, but she didn't say no. I suddenly felt bad about pushing the limits with a girl that was talking my ear off about getting a marriage greencard, so I stopped. I ended up popping all over her tits as she stroked me.

I took a quick shower, and, what-do-ya-know, she was waiting at the bathroom door with a huge smile. She wanted to give me her instagram, wanted to meet up later for a date, and ever offered to come over to my place for some more fun. Little head was telling me to dive right in, but I knew where this was going and declined. She looked disappointed, and her little pout made me want to take her in my arms and kiss her sadness away. Instead, I gave her a hug, and then almost ran out the door.

The good: Amanda is cute (6/10 face, but 8/10 when she's smiling, 7/10 body with incredible tits and the most perfect pussy I've ever seen). She's easy to talk to, and had decent English.

The bad: Her technique isn't great, and I don't know if I could have even finished if she didn't have such amazing tits and pussy. It's still overpriced (200 hhr /230 hhr, +extra for mutual touch, +extra to touch pussy, +extra for kissing). No DATY, no FIV, no DFK. I did pay extra for kissing, but it felt so weird trying to kiss her tightly closed lips.

The ugly: I'm in this hobby so I don't have to deal with drama, and all this talk about dating and marriage made my skin crawl. I guess I'm just not the kind of guy who's willing to take advantage of a desperate pretty girl, or I'm smart enough to not put myself in a situation where I get stabbed by a woman scorned.

Overall, I had a good time. I really want to go back and see her, but the way she pushed for dating and stuff makes me hesitant.

[Coopertars]

Sounds like the Noble Square girls have an apartment again not much further north than before. Around the Damen / North / Milwaukee intersection in Wicker. Not sure if its long term or temporary though.

[ZzTopSterZz]

Last time I went to CTM (a couple months ago), the masseuse mix was 3 Caucasians / Europeans, 2 Latinas and a black. They all work different days during the week but it's pretty easy to text / call the booker to figure out the name of the girls working and their race / ethnicity.

Mariana (latina) is the only girl I've gotten CFS from. Everyone else was a HJ or nude / topless HJ.

Sofia (latina) was the only one drawing me back semi-regularly, but she left that place a while ago and appears to have a non-sexual job now and a fiance.

But I agree, wish there was more diversity in this space. Kinda asian'd out unless they're naturally built thick and curvy. Makes me want to travel to see how things are across the water.

If you have the time and money and enjoy traveling (not just for sex) go for it! There are beautiful women in all the eastern and Central European countries and the price to play is peanuts compared to the US. Go see famous cities like Prague, Budapest, Tallinn, Riga, Sofia, Bucharest, etc. Also Portugal is cheap and beautiful. Western Europe will enjoy your wallet and Russia / Ukraine are off limits obviously. I still travelled for work like I used to.

[Soulandis]

Ha, so it is closed, or what? Has anyone hit up CTM on montrose lately? Irenes? The Euro massage space is so dead, all we get in this section are posters about more rub down hand job artists vs the ole massage with he.

Last time I went to CTM (a couple months ago), the masseuse mix was 3 Caucasians / Europeans, 2 Latinas and a black. They all work different days during the week but it's pretty easy to text / call the booker to figure out the name of the girls working and their race / ethnicity.

Mariana (latina) is the only girl I've gotten CFS from. Everyone else was a HJ or nude / topless HJ.

Sofia (latina) was the only one drawing me back semi-regularly, but she left that place a while ago and appears to have a non-sexual job now and a fiance.

But I agree, wish there was more diversity in this space. Kinda asian'd out unless they're naturally built thick and curvy. Makes me want to travel to see how things are across the water.

[PeteMusk]

Assisted living? Seriously I haven't heard of anyone new in the basement for a long time. One would think the pipeline from Ukraine and Russia would have spilled over into this hobby, but that doesn't seem to be the case. Such a shame. At my age even 40 seems young and I'd be quite happy with that.

Ha, so it is closed, or what? Has anyone hit up CTM on montrose lately? Irenes? The Euro massage space is so dead, all we get in this section are posters about more rub down hand job artists vs the ole massage with he.

[ZzTopSterZz]

1290 looks deserted. Where did everyone go?

Assisted living? Seriously I haven't heard of anyone new in the basement for a long time. One would think the pipeline from Ukraine and Russia would have spilled over into this hobby, but that doesn't seem to be the case. Such a shame. At my age even 40 seems young and I'd be quite happy with that.

[ChgoGuySouth]

1290 looks deserted. Where did everyone go?

[JayKay8]

Are they back in Noble Square or are they still hopping around at hotels? The couple of booker numbers I have for them have stopped responding, maybe they blocked me?

Still hopping around. The number in this ad works for me:

https://harlothub.com/united-states/...158862101.html

[Coopertars]

Are they back in Noble Square or are they still hopping around at hotels? The couple of booker numbers I have for them have stopped responding, maybe they blocked me?

[JayKay8]

Despite by misgivings, I decided to give them another shot. As always, booking was done via text. Booker had me waiting 10 minutes, told me to walk in, and then told me they sent me to the wrong address. Had me drive to another place 5 minutes away. The only thing I hate more than paying for parking in the west loop is paying for parking in the west loop twice.

Lina answered the door in a robe and lingerie. She's in her 20's, about 5'4", slim, C-cup man-mades, and really obvious lip filler. Her skin is flawlessly smooth, her tiny ass fit my hand nicely, and she has a super tiny waist. Basically, you'll like her if you like plastic instagram barbies. Her only upgrade is fully nude mutual touch, but she hinted that more could be on the menu next time.

She started with a decent body rub, and then had me flip. She knelt next to me on the bed while she stroked me, and I let my hands roam. She didn't seem to mind me brushing against her tight little asshole, so I started rubbing her clit. She shifted towards me and spread her legs to give me better access. She was getting very wet, and I started running my fingers up and down her slit. I then had her straddle me so I could wrap my hands around her deliciously tiny waist and basically simulate reverse cowgirl while she finished me. She stay on top for a few minutes to give me surprisingly good aftercare. I took a quick shower and left with a hug and a kiss.

Lina said that she would be here until Sunday.

The good: I'm don't usually like plastic girls, but Lina's body almost perfect. I'd rate her body 10/10 if she didn't have the big round fakes. She's actually very pretty, even with the comically large lip fillers. Her technique on the flip is very good, and she let me roam her body to my hearts content.

The bad: As always, way too many rules for what I'm paying. I can understand no full service, but at least allow DATY / DATO and DFK. It's honestly a rip off unless the girl is 10/10 beautiful, and those are far and few in between.

The ugly: The book really needs to figure out their hosting situation. It's a new location every time, and it's been anywhere from 5 star hotels to normal houses to seedy motels. If I'm going through all that, I might as well just go see someone like Mally and get BBBJCIM and BBFSCIP for half the price.

Also interesting to note is that the booker has sent me real pictures of the girls the last two times. Not sure if this will be the new thing going forward, but I like it.

[ApplePiePussy]

I agree with a lot of the sentiment in this thread. I haven't been to them in a long while. At some point they switched to using actual escorts who realized they could make more in the massage game. The last few that I saw wanted something like 400 more for FS. And they were not anything better than what 262 offers looks wise. They just weren't. Why would I pay 630 total for FS which is even more than the top agencies here. And when you decline that, their attitudes noticeably deteriorate. And besides, who wants to be massaged by a hardened escort who wants 100 to touch and 100 to get naked? At least before, the girls were only massage girls and that offered the allure of innocence. The bookers also became super annoying and started spamming fake pics. I ended up blocking them.

[BA4114]

I'd honestly be more ok with it if they actually posted real pics and a schedule of which girls are available. I took a long hiatus because there was a couple of months where all they had was late 30's girls with mediocre bodies and too many rules.

Agreed. Agreed. Agreed.

The first 2-3 girls I saw there were smoking hot, but only one of them gave anything resembling good service (stripped down to lingerie, removed her bra to slide on me, let me roam OTC, decent rub and sensual performance. Didn't offer extras, and I didn't ask) . But the other two were completely stand off-ish, barely rubbed anything, no teasing and and anytime my hand even grazed their thigh they immediately withdrew and said "touching is extra" — then the jerked me off while basically trying to sit at the end of the bed reaching for my dick so nothing else could contact them. It was a complete buzzkill and that kind of shit actually makes me feel guilty and creepy. Which, you know, is not why I'm there.

Then it devolved into a string of 2-3 baits / switches which basically meant thicker MILFs in 30's who still had shitty attitudes. I'm fine with a MILF (even if it's semi bait / switch) if the experience is good. And if the experience is going to be shitty, it can sometimes be semi-redeeming to at least stare at a smoking hot girl, although not ideal. MILFy + shitty is going to be a hard pass for 99% of us I'd assume.

But the first experience was so great that I tried to chase it a little bit. But ultimately threw in the towel on this place.

And I'll say this because sometimes I think it matters. I'm a super clean-cut, fit, white, married guy in my late 40's who is essentially shy with providers because I'm trying to be unmemorable and not find / cause any trouble and allow myself to buy into an illusion for an hour. Essentially I'm a fucking dream client if what providers have told me over the years is to be believed (they essentially like middle-aged guys who have great hygiene and something to lose) . And before anyone jumps down my throat on if race matters / doesn't matters, I don't give a shit. I don't think anyone's preferences are right / wrong — I'm just telling you what I've heard. I say this because sometimes when I hear about negative experiences I find myself wondering if a sweaty, smelly dude with body odor, bad breath and shitty attitudes are reporting on these experiences, maybe the girls aren't the problem? But I digress.

So if I walk in and I get stand-offish, detached service I kind of imagine others who fall outside of some sort of ideal customer profile are going to have further degraded service. Thus, at this price point. I will continue to pass, and would recommend others do as well. I'm happy to overpay for great service (to the chagrin of many of you) . But this service needs to start achieving some sort of baseline of experience to be worth it.

My 2 c.

[JayKay8]

Yeah, I came to the same conclusion for myself. The inconsistency eventually turned me away. Had some really good experiences and some really bad experiences. Most were below average.

I'd honestly be more ok with it if they actually posted real pics and a schedule of which girls are available. I took a long hiatus because there was a couple of months where all they had was late 30's girls with mediocre bodies and too many rules. There are girls that I would see every time they are here, but I'm not going to text them every week to check and then try to decipher which "Mary" is the good one.

[Jost312]

I wish this place was more consistent with both their pricing and their girls. Some are hot and allow some extras, others not so much. If it was like CLM with guaranteed nude massage and HE that would be one thing, but the upcharges for nude or mutual touch are silly. And that's before you get to the few girls that allow anything BEYOND that. It reminds me of a strip club, in the sense that you feel guilty afterwards that you spent so much for so LITTLE. The only answer for me personally was to just stop going all together. Most SBs are about the same as what you paid for a HE and you get a lot more, both in terms of time and service.

Yeah, I came to the same conclusion for myself. The inconsistency eventually turned me away. Had some really good experiences and some really bad experiences. Most were below average.

[Chiguyxxx]

I wish this place was more consistent with both their pricing and their girls. Some are hot and allow some extras, others not so much. If it was like CLM with guaranteed nude massage and HE that would be one thing, but the upcharges for nude or mutual touch are silly. And that's before you get to the few girls that allow anything BEYOND that. It reminds me of a strip club, in the sense that you feel guilty afterwards that you spent so much for so LITTLE. The only answer for me personally was to just stop going all together. Most SBs are about the same as what you paid for a HE and you get a lot more, both in terms of time and service.