Massage Parlor Reports

[PriscillaM]

I had to stop going to red lantern because I was upset that they do not change the 1500 thread count sheets.

So I headed back to the wharf.

On entry, the managerial gal was someone I have seen there or in other franchise locations. Older long haired asian with some missing teeth. She said she would get me a line up.

Cici. A cross between a fungo bat and carrot top.

Bella or Ella. A decent homely gal. I chose her. Not much to write about only that she worked on my penor and my rectal orifice with love. I am going to have to get RL to go to ross and get some new sheets. Also, get someone to stop large men harassing the staff because some tall dude came in and got the better sniz.

[BenBeck]

Seeing as its DTLA, its more than likely you'll find Chinese / Taiwanese grannies doing a rub and tug op with the option of CFS. Very low mileage fwiw but can be had on the cheap. Not my first option but if the budget is around 100-150 for this sort of fun, it makes sense. Good luck.

Who knows if this is legit or not, haven't stopped by myself, but they list the lineup here daily:

https://www.******.com/nuru-sensual-massage

It seems to be on 6th and Harlem Pl based on a few ads with that same phone. A block from Cole's so you can get a French Dip after.

Link kept getting shrouded : it’s tum b lr

[Slicer4]

I thought the best BJ from the chain was joanna. I liked shirley but she got no play here. Sophie really knew how to suck dick for sure.

I am taking a break from RL. The whole guy barging into the place and stalking the joint or something is spookier than quantum entanglement (which I can explain based on a relatively simple concept).

The guy who stalked in must be a lurker here.

I agree on Joanna, she acted well too speaking dirty Japanese, and I liked her performance. So much so she had me visit her at one of her rotation locations, I forget where but it was a trek, LOL.

[PriscillaM]

Rip Sophie she was the chosen one.

I thought the best BJ from the chain was joanna. I liked shirley but she got no play here. Sophie really knew how to suck dick for sure.

I am taking a break from RL. The whole guy barging into the place and stalking the joint or something is spookier than quantum entanglement (which I can explain based on a relatively simple concept).

The guy who stalked in must be a lurker here.

[JohnWu0079]

Rip Sophie she was the chosen one.

Well, it was Thanksgiving and. I had to kill some time before carving the Thanksgiving salmon.

I texted over to the. Lantern of Redness. The roll was the same as the day before Coco, Eva and Lulu.

I stated that I would like to see Coco, the hot young Asian. I wanted an HYA because I wanted to make her come six times, I wanted the blue mint toast and a 25 minute shower. Oh sorry wrong hot young Asian forum.

I was told to wait because Coco was busy doing a post mortem analysis of the 1. 5 billion dollar campaign that failed due to Russian disinformation.

I went to the 711 down the street and had a slurpee.

Now that I dad the fuel, I texted back and they said that she was ready.

I entered through the side door. This was because I did not want to be seen by the brigade of Lutherans attempting to feed every last homeless person on the westside, there was a fucken picnic on overland there outside the church.

I am greeted by a rather odd looking humanoid who turns out to be Eva. She has a face tha looks like a modern art masterpiece.

I said who are you and she said Eva and I said I had RSVPed for Coco and showed her my phone (iPhone 4 BTW). She yelled for Coco and out came this 5 foot nothing standard.

But alas, I was there and Coco was better than Eva and I did not want to see Lulu because she absolutely destroyed my asshole. So we went to room 6, which is the room next to the bathroom and I asked for permission to unload the Slurpee I had just finished down the block. I took a racehorse level piss and met her back in the examining room.

[PriscillaM]

Well, it was Thanksgiving and. I had to kill some time before carving the Thanksgiving salmon.

I texted over to the. Lantern of Redness. The roll was the same as the day before Coco, Eva and Lulu.

I stated that I would like to see Coco, the hot young Asian. I wanted an HYA because I wanted to make her come six times, I wanted the blue mint toast and a 25 minute shower. Oh sorry wrong hot young Asian forum.

I was told to wait because Coco was busy doing a post mortem analysis of the 1. 5 billion dollar campaign that failed due to Russian disinformation.

I went to the 711 down the street and had a slurpee.

Now that I dad the fuel, I texted back and they said that she was ready.

I entered through the side door. This was because I did not want to be seen by the brigade of Lutherans attempting to feed every last homeless person on the westside, there was a fucken picnic on overland there outside the church.

I am greeted by a rather odd looking humanoid who turns out to be Eva. She has a face tha looks like a modern art masterpiece.

I said who are you and she said Eva and I said I had RSVPed for Coco and showed her my phone (iPhone 4 BTW). She yelled for Coco and out came this 5 foot nothing standard.

But alas, I was there and Coco was better than Eva and I did not want to see Lulu because she absolutely destroyed my asshole. So we went to room 6, which is the room next to the bathroom and I asked for permission to unload the Slurpee I had just finished down the block. I took a racehorse level piss and met her back in the examining room.

I gave her $70.00 because I wanted to be sure that I used my entire lunch break from the fish counter. She takes the $70.00 and leaves to let me get undressed. As I am taking off my chonies, I am watching the video of the front door and there is a. Latino gentleman of unusual size. He is complaining to the three girls about something, all I could hear is he said the tall guy, the tall guy.

I don't know what this guy wanted, but he was not successful in finding what he was looking for and left, but this was enough to kind of ruin my high. The girls were clearly kind of flustered. To whoever that dude was, major bad form to come into an AMP asking about some guy that you're looking for. If you're looking for somebody, wait outside and do a. Penal Code 187. But don't come in what is hallowed ground to ***** about what some guy did to you.

In any event Coco enters and she apologizes because she doesn't know English. She gives me a third degree on her Google Translate asking me how I heard about her and I said I was here yesterday. I don't know if she understood.

She proceeded to give me a rather thorough massage that I thoroughly did not enjoy. I kept looking at the video camera to see if Mr. Monster was going to come back.

After about 20 minutes of massage, she said she would go get a towel and rubbed me down There was no teasing of the nads or anything for the first part of the session. She then had me remain on my face and started doing a tit rub all over.

She then turned me over to the front and made the universal sign language line using her two arms and thrusting her pelvis forward. I agreed and said I would pay her 160 and she seemed very happy. She went and got the condom.

She informed me that she would have to use the condom for the blowjob because she showed me a wound on her tongue the size of a Canadian quarter. I approved of the sanitary measures given red lantern's high standards for hygiene.

She then did the covered BJ and rotated around so I could see her poontang. She had a wonderful Bush that looked like someone had stuck boxing promoter Don King in her pussy feet first. She also had a birthmark by her shitter the size of a #4 washer. I did not go down on her and I forcibly closed the aperture so I did not have to look at that birthmark. After a while we did mish and although she did not have bad breath, she just wasn't doing it for me. So she offered doggy. And then I put her down, face down and after about. 5 minutes of furious pumping. I dropped the load.

This was not a good visit. Coco is not a hot young Asian. This place is kind of busy and seems to attract a whole other group of degenerates.

[PriscillaM]

I hit the RL (red lantern) on 43% overland avenue in culver shitty. My first visit was Wednesday evening.

The roll was Coco, Eva, Lulu. Given that this is a sister joint to spa castle and the lulu there fucked me on the lounge chair like my dick was some kind of ninja juicer.

I had been told by the texter that coco was a hot young asian, and although I know that the term HYA is trademarked meaning beat prostitute in her 40's with fake pics in a shower on Sawtelle, I have begun to trust the red lantern as much as I trust the organic label at a chipotle.

I text and roll in the nee how side door. A rather unattractive long haired gal but with nice legs greets me and grabs my hand or maybe my cock. This was lulu. I was pleased by her body, but she has a face for social media for the blind. But she had a nice set and I had gotten the night off from the fish counter which is not easy to do in the holiday rush.

She sends me to the big room, which I guess borders the culver primary that is next door. I can only imagine the discussion in the exam rooms there. What is that noise next door, it sounds like someone being stabbed in the heart with a mechanical pencil. And the nurse responds, oh that is just Prisicillam getting his balls fondled face down.

Lulu knows no English and proceeds to give me a rather hard massage. I complain and I think she got the message sort of. The dedication to the massage here is quite vexing. It is like the cafeteria worker at a death camp trying something new with the lentil soup.

She did a massage for like 15 min and the she got a little frisky with my walnuts and my pooper. Then she said ok was she started to flick the light fantastic in my hawking radiation black hole. She grabbed a wipe and hosed my shitter down and stuck her tongue so deep she told me what I ate last thanksgiving. For all you mongers that kiss lulu, well, all I can say is that you can see what can be unburdened by what has been in my ass hole.

She turns me over after using a single wet wipe to wipe the oil off my back and I agree to 150 to please her with my 10 inch DeWalt drill bit.

She gets condom (pretty much the only English word the girls here know) and comes back.

Lulu is age 25 - 45 and is lumpy, kind of all over. She has the classic bad breath that makes RL a candidate for a periodontist visit. Her tits are 36 c, she has a bit of a busted midriff, but nice skin. She does a BJ on me and assumes the 69 formation. I assume she wanted me that bad. I declined. Her "head game" was not quite NBA, but better than bronny and she did revisit my boy pussy.

As for the fooking, her mish is not good due to her breath and her pussy is as loose as a wizard's sleeve.

In doggie she was a bit tighter and I slammed her in flat doggie harder than a carpenter nailing a roof down before a cat 5. I got close enough to nutting that I had her hand job me. If you notice, I always try to end up flat on my back shooting a load, and if you can't see a pattern then you would not see a patter on acid in the home depot wall paper aisle.

She jerked me off and cleaned me off and did my shoes for me.

On the way out I saw some nice legs in the break room but I did not get a good look at Eva or Coco.

[SHDot]

Anyone ever brought a sex toy with them to an AMP? Like a buttplug or something of the sort.

[MassMe]

Anyone try Maleny? https://www.massagefinder.com/massage-therapists/46518/

Does anyone know if she takes care of all parts?

[MassMe]

I texted over to the rl (red lantern in code because I wanted to get fucked for $. 2) over the weekend.

The roll was grace, lutheran, church. Wait, that is the place next door. No, the roll was ada, coco, sophia. I had seen sophia before and after reading the last review I picked up some ass wipes just in case of a fecal emergency. I was told that coco was a hot young asian, and with out the fake pictures to make her even more hot.

I parked way the fuck down the block and texted that I was rolling in like a 3 day delayed shipment of sockeye salmon to bristol farms. I walked past numerous houses sporting a tripod.

I went in the exclusive side door VIP entrance and rang the door bell and the loudest nee how since they finished the great wall of China rang out.

A very slim compact prostitute greeted me, this was ada. Her face was made up by a sephora trainee, but the rest of her body was straight off the fake pics that the hot young asian mongers get dripping over. Ada is like 5 foot 2, natural and hugely ponty 32 B. Has a total slim body, no hanging skin anywhere. A slight c sec scar. Nice long hair and a good ass. Even hotter than sophia.

She sends me to room 1, which is reserved for piltdown men such as myself. She has almost no english skills. They removed the massage table in this room, so it is just a bed and the room itself must be 300 square feet. If this was 8155 the fascist mamasan would have demised it in to 6 rooms..

I would totally subscribe to his substack!

[TaxiTaxi]

Seeing as its DTLA, its more than likely you'll find Chinese / Taiwanese grannies. .

No grannies here. See DavidC27 post below, and his original post on 6-16, which is entirely accurate. I visited recently and the hour rate was 220, HE tip included. The entrance is near 6th st. And Spring. Parking is an adventure. I think the meters are $4 per hour. Local lots are at least that much. This is a very grungy part of town. A Starbucks at the corner of 6th and Spring does not even have a restroom for customers.

As DavidC27 noted, photos on their website are not of the actual ladies, for the sake of their privacy. But the two women I met were gorgeous in person. American Latinas who spoke English as their first language. Many of the (fictional?) names on their staff list match names on the former website of Cherry Spa in NOHO, which is now closed. That shop had the same business model. Nude FBSM with HE included. A Nuru option is really just an oily b2 b body slide.

I am gravitating away from Asian parlors to this style of MP. Yes, the price point is a jump up from AMPs. But grannies and spinners are not my cup of tea. Mutual touch massage with a bodacious naked woman is erotic and satisfying to me, even if FS is not an option. Although, as DavidC27 noted, some of the ladies here do indeed offer that for an additional fee.

I will say that one thing mongers reading this should take into account is that it's a real crapshoot and very dependent on the girl you pick. Since there's no reviews of these girls and the pics are obviously fake you're essentially gambling $220 hoping you get your money's worth.

I've had some great experiences with gorgeous girls, and I've also had a GPS provider with a bad attitude upcharge me to grab her ass. There's also high turnover and neither of these girls still work there, making it harder to build some sort of even personal tier list.

One last thing is that a couple of these girls started posting on listcrawler, so they're the ones most likely to offer up extras. I tried calling the numbers they have listed (different than the parlor's number) but they never answer. If anyone has any luck lmk.

[PriscillaM]

I hate dick breath more than stinky pooper though.

Dick breath is common with TJ girls cause they don't brus / rinse mouth after getting jizz in the mouth.

Hopefully Ada is hot enough (I trust your judgement that she's hotter than Sophie) for me to keep my boner. It's usually an instant boner killer for me.

You think she'll get offended if I offered her a mint.

If Sophia is the franchise, then Ada is the guarantee. She is very petit, but fuck can her pussy shake like Michael j. Fox in a hot tub. If her breath was ok, and she spoke a lick on ingles, she would be boner certified.

[JohnWu0079]

I hate dick breath more than stinky pooper though.

Dick breath is common with TJ girls cause they don't brus / rinse mouth after getting jizz in the mouth.

Hopefully Ada is hot enough (I trust your judgement that she's hotter than Sophie) for me to keep my boner. It's usually an instant boner killer for me.

You think she'll get offended if I offered her a mint.

I texted over to the rl (red lantern in code because I wanted to get fucked for $. 2) over the weekend.

The roll was grace, lutheran, church. Wait, that is the place next door. No, the roll was ada, coco, sophia. I had seen sophia before and after reading the last review I picked up some ass wipes just in case of a fecal emergency. I was told that coco was a hot young asian, and with out the fake pictures to make her even more hot.

I parked way the fuck down the block and texted that I was rolling in like a 3 day delayed shipment of sockeye salmon to bristol farms. I walked past numerous houses sporting a tripod.

I went in the exclusive side door VIP entrance and rang the door bell and the loudest nee how since they finished the great wall of China rang out.

[JohnWu0079]

You should go back before end of month.

JFC. I personally stopped going to RL myself since the place is just not as hygienic as other, more storefront places. And tbh RL's pickings from when I last went were just so-so. Can't decide where on the hotness-to-cleanliness graph these gals have to be for me to take myself back over there again.

[PriscillaM]

JFC. I personally stopped going to RL myself since the place is just not as hygienic as other, more storefront places. And tbh RL's pickings from when I last went were just so-so. Can't decide where on the hotness-to-cleanliness graph these gals have to be for me to take myself back over there again.

If you plot the decency looks wise and pussy skills of the girl at RL on the x access, I truly think there is an average of about a 7 (a hot young Asian 9).

The why access for cleanliness is an issue. Hard to catch a W on that and the cleaning skills there are beta. But you can get there early like a Degen (before 1030) and it is not busy and you do not see dick imprints in the sheets yet.