Massage Parlor Reports

[PriscillaM]

Well, it was Thanksgiving and. I had to kill some time before carving the Thanksgiving salmon.

I texted over to the. Lantern of Redness. The roll was the same as the day before Coco, Eva and Lulu.

I stated that I would like to see Coco, the hot young Asian. I wanted an HYA because I wanted to make her come six times, I wanted the blue mint toast and a 25 minute shower. Oh sorry wrong hot young Asian forum.

I was told to wait because Coco was busy doing a post mortem analysis of the 1. 5 billion dollar campaign that failed due to Russian disinformation.

I went to the 711 down the street and had a slurpee.

Now that I dad the fuel, I texted back and they said that she was ready.

I entered through the side door. This was because I did not want to be seen by the brigade of Lutherans attempting to feed every last homeless person on the westside, there was a fucken picnic on overland there outside the church.

I am greeted by a rather odd looking humanoid who turns out to be Eva. She has a face tha looks like a modern art masterpiece.

I said who are you and she said Eva and I said I had RSVPed for Coco and showed her my phone (iPhone 4 BTW). She yelled for Coco and out came this 5 foot nothing standard.

But alas, I was there and Coco was better than Eva and I did not want to see Lulu because she absolutely destroyed my asshole. So we went to room 6, which is the room next to the bathroom and I asked for permission to unload the Slurpee I had just finished down the block. I took a racehorse level piss and met her back in the examining room.

I gave her $70.00 because I wanted to be sure that I used my entire lunch break from the fish counter. She takes the $70.00 and leaves to let me get undressed. As I am taking off my chonies, I am watching the video of the front door and there is a. Latino gentleman of unusual size. He is complaining to the three girls about something, all I could hear is he said the tall guy, the tall guy.

I don't know what this guy wanted, but he was not successful in finding what he was looking for and left, but this was enough to kind of ruin my high. The girls were clearly kind of flustered. To whoever that dude was, major bad form to come into an AMP asking about some guy that you're looking for. If you're looking for somebody, wait outside and do a. Penal Code 187. But don't come in what is hallowed ground to ***** about what some guy did to you.

In any event Coco enters and she apologizes because she doesn't know English. She gives me a third degree on her Google Translate asking me how I heard about her and I said I was here yesterday. I don't know if she understood.

She proceeded to give me a rather thorough massage that I thoroughly did not enjoy. I kept looking at the video camera to see if Mr. Monster was going to come back.

After about 20 minutes of massage, she said she would go get a towel and rubbed me down There was no teasing of the nads or anything for the first part of the session. She then had me remain on my face and started doing a tit rub all over.

She then turned me over to the front and made the universal sign language line using her two arms and thrusting her pelvis forward. I agreed and said I would pay her 160 and she seemed very happy. She went and got the condom.

She informed me that she would have to use the condom for the blowjob because she showed me a wound on her tongue the size of a Canadian quarter. I approved of the sanitary measures given red lantern's high standards for hygiene.

She then did the covered BJ and rotated around so I could see her poontang. She had a wonderful Bush that looked like someone had stuck boxing promoter Don King in her pussy feet first. She also had a birthmark by her shitter the size of a #4 washer. I did not go down on her and I forcibly closed the aperture so I did not have to look at that birthmark. After a while we did mish and although she did not have bad breath, she just wasn't doing it for me. So she offered doggy. And then I put her down, face down and after about. 5 minutes of furious pumping. I dropped the load.

This was not a good visit. Coco is not a hot young Asian. This place is kind of busy and seems to attract a whole other group of degenerates.

[PriscillaM]

I hit the RL (red lantern) on 43% overland avenue in culver shitty. My first visit was Wednesday evening.

The roll was Coco, Eva, Lulu. Given that this is a sister joint to spa castle and the lulu there fucked me on the lounge chair like my dick was some kind of ninja juicer.

I had been told by the texter that coco was a hot young asian, and although I know that the term HYA is trademarked meaning beat prostitute in her 40's with fake pics in a shower on Sawtelle, I have begun to trust the red lantern as much as I trust the organic label at a chipotle.

I text and roll in the nee how side door. A rather unattractive long haired gal but with nice legs greets me and grabs my hand or maybe my cock. This was lulu. I was pleased by her body, but she has a face for social media for the blind. But she had a nice set and I had gotten the night off from the fish counter which is not easy to do in the holiday rush.

She sends me to the big room, which I guess borders the culver primary that is next door. I can only imagine the discussion in the exam rooms there. What is that noise next door, it sounds like someone being stabbed in the heart with a mechanical pencil. And the nurse responds, oh that is just Prisicillam getting his balls fondled face down.

Lulu knows no English and proceeds to give me a rather hard massage. I complain and I think she got the message sort of. The dedication to the massage here is quite vexing. It is like the cafeteria worker at a death camp trying something new with the lentil soup.

She did a massage for like 15 min and the she got a little frisky with my walnuts and my pooper. Then she said ok was she started to flick the light fantastic in my hawking radiation black hole. She grabbed a wipe and hosed my shitter down and stuck her tongue so deep she told me what I ate last thanksgiving. For all you mongers that kiss lulu, well, all I can say is that you can see what can be unburdened by what has been in my ass hole.

She turns me over after using a single wet wipe to wipe the oil off my back and I agree to 150 to please her with my 10 inch DeWalt drill bit.

She gets condom (pretty much the only English word the girls here know) and comes back.

Lulu is age 25 - 45 and is lumpy, kind of all over. She has the classic bad breath that makes RL a candidate for a periodontist visit. Her tits are 36 c, she has a bit of a busted midriff, but nice skin. She does a BJ on me and assumes the 69 formation. I assume she wanted me that bad. I declined. Her "head game" was not quite NBA, but better than bronny and she did revisit my boy pussy.

As for the fooking, her mish is not good due to her breath and her pussy is as loose as a wizard's sleeve.

In doggie she was a bit tighter and I slammed her in flat doggie harder than a carpenter nailing a roof down before a cat 5. I got close enough to nutting that I had her hand job me. If you notice, I always try to end up flat on my back shooting a load, and if you can't see a pattern then you would not see a patter on acid in the home depot wall paper aisle.

She jerked me off and cleaned me off and did my shoes for me.

On the way out I saw some nice legs in the break room but I did not get a good look at Eva or Coco.

[SHDot]

Anyone ever brought a sex toy with them to an AMP? Like a buttplug or something of the sort.

[MassMe]

Anyone try Maleny? https://www.massagefinder.com/massage-therapists/46518/

Does anyone know if she takes care of all parts?

[MassMe]

I texted over to the rl (red lantern in code because I wanted to get fucked for $. 2) over the weekend.

The roll was grace, lutheran, church. Wait, that is the place next door. No, the roll was ada, coco, sophia. I had seen sophia before and after reading the last review I picked up some ass wipes just in case of a fecal emergency. I was told that coco was a hot young asian, and with out the fake pictures to make her even more hot.

I parked way the fuck down the block and texted that I was rolling in like a 3 day delayed shipment of sockeye salmon to bristol farms. I walked past numerous houses sporting a tripod.

I went in the exclusive side door VIP entrance and rang the door bell and the loudest nee how since they finished the great wall of China rang out.

A very slim compact prostitute greeted me, this was ada. Her face was made up by a sephora trainee, but the rest of her body was straight off the fake pics that the hot young asian mongers get dripping over. Ada is like 5 foot 2, natural and hugely ponty 32 B. Has a total slim body, no hanging skin anywhere. A slight c sec scar. Nice long hair and a good ass. Even hotter than sophia.

She sends me to room 1, which is reserved for piltdown men such as myself. She has almost no english skills. They removed the massage table in this room, so it is just a bed and the room itself must be 300 square feet. If this was 8155 the fascist mamasan would have demised it in to 6 rooms..

I would totally subscribe to his substack!

[TaxiTaxi]

Seeing as its DTLA, its more than likely you'll find Chinese / Taiwanese grannies. .

No grannies here. See DavidC27 post below, and his original post on 6-16, which is entirely accurate. I visited recently and the hour rate was 220, HE tip included. The entrance is near 6th st. And Spring. Parking is an adventure. I think the meters are $4 per hour. Local lots are at least that much. This is a very grungy part of town. A Starbucks at the corner of 6th and Spring does not even have a restroom for customers.

As DavidC27 noted, photos on their website are not of the actual ladies, for the sake of their privacy. But the two women I met were gorgeous in person. American Latinas who spoke English as their first language. Many of the (fictional?) names on their staff list match names on the former website of Cherry Spa in NOHO, which is now closed. That shop had the same business model. Nude FBSM with HE included. A Nuru option is really just an oily b2 b body slide.

I am gravitating away from Asian parlors to this style of MP. Yes, the price point is a jump up from AMPs. But grannies and spinners are not my cup of tea. Mutual touch massage with a bodacious naked woman is erotic and satisfying to me, even if FS is not an option. Although, as DavidC27 noted, some of the ladies here do indeed offer that for an additional fee.

I will say that one thing mongers reading this should take into account is that it's a real crapshoot and very dependent on the girl you pick. Since there's no reviews of these girls and the pics are obviously fake you're essentially gambling $220 hoping you get your money's worth.

I've had some great experiences with gorgeous girls, and I've also had a GPS provider with a bad attitude upcharge me to grab her ass. There's also high turnover and neither of these girls still work there, making it harder to build some sort of even personal tier list.

One last thing is that a couple of these girls started posting on listcrawler, so they're the ones most likely to offer up extras. I tried calling the numbers they have listed (different than the parlor's number) but they never answer. If anyone has any luck lmk.

[PriscillaM]

I hate dick breath more than stinky pooper though.

Dick breath is common with TJ girls cause they don't brus / rinse mouth after getting jizz in the mouth.

Hopefully Ada is hot enough (I trust your judgement that she's hotter than Sophie) for me to keep my boner. It's usually an instant boner killer for me.

You think she'll get offended if I offered her a mint.

If Sophia is the franchise, then Ada is the guarantee. She is very petit, but fuck can her pussy shake like Michael j. Fox in a hot tub. If her breath was ok, and she spoke a lick on ingles, she would be boner certified.

[JohnWu0079]

I hate dick breath more than stinky pooper though.

Dick breath is common with TJ girls cause they don't brus / rinse mouth after getting jizz in the mouth.

Hopefully Ada is hot enough (I trust your judgement that she's hotter than Sophie) for me to keep my boner. It's usually an instant boner killer for me.

You think she'll get offended if I offered her a mint.

I texted over to the rl (red lantern in code because I wanted to get fucked for $. 2) over the weekend.

The roll was grace, lutheran, church. Wait, that is the place next door. No, the roll was ada, coco, sophia. I had seen sophia before and after reading the last review I picked up some ass wipes just in case of a fecal emergency. I was told that coco was a hot young asian, and with out the fake pictures to make her even more hot.

I parked way the fuck down the block and texted that I was rolling in like a 3 day delayed shipment of sockeye salmon to bristol farms. I walked past numerous houses sporting a tripod.

I went in the exclusive side door VIP entrance and rang the door bell and the loudest nee how since they finished the great wall of China rang out.

[JohnWu0079]

You should go back before end of month.

JFC. I personally stopped going to RL myself since the place is just not as hygienic as other, more storefront places. And tbh RL's pickings from when I last went were just so-so. Can't decide where on the hotness-to-cleanliness graph these gals have to be for me to take myself back over there again.

[PriscillaM]

JFC. I personally stopped going to RL myself since the place is just not as hygienic as other, more storefront places. And tbh RL's pickings from when I last went were just so-so. Can't decide where on the hotness-to-cleanliness graph these gals have to be for me to take myself back over there again.

If you plot the decency looks wise and pussy skills of the girl at RL on the x access, I truly think there is an average of about a 7 (a hot young Asian 9).

The why access for cleanliness is an issue. Hard to catch a W on that and the cleaning skills there are beta. But you can get there early like a Degen (before 1030) and it is not busy and you do not see dick imprints in the sheets yet.

[SHDot]

These gals eat the most rectum unfriendly food ever. As I stated, when I was walking out there was a bowl of cabbage you could wash a baby whale in. I have never seen a shit ass in an MP, but I will be writing management and demand that every gal get a barium enema before their shifts. I also recommend a proctologist be on staff.

As they say, shit happens.

JFC. I personally stopped going to RL myself since the place is just not as hygienic as other, more storefront places. And tbh RL's pickings from when I last went were just so-so. Can't decide where on the hotness-to-cleanliness graph these gals have to be for me to take myself back over there again.

[PriscillaM]

Whittier was incorporated in February 1898 and became a charter city in 1955.

Los Angeles is a geographically significant location. Entertainment, trade, sports, wealth, tourism, etc. Its fish markets are well known. The one downtown is the largest such fish market in the country (stanley mosk). Los angeles county is 127 miles long and has alot of nonsense places as well.

For me, the only parts of l. A. That have any value are from the west at malibu diagonal to encino at the north west, cutting as far north as around van nuys, east border downtown (extending just to touch dodger stadium) and looping back from the 10 freeway to the beach, but the beach including up to dockweler / manhattan beach.

Places like norwalk, alhambra, covina, la puente, woodland hills, pasadena (save for the rose bowl) and of course fucken downey are as relevant to the universe as the asteroid apophis.

[PriscillaM]

I concur with PriscillaM.

Her name is Sophie and as far as AMPs go she is 99.99th percentile hot.

Younger than 35, smooth skin, nice tits, nice butt, and pretty face. Legit hotter than all the "HYA" k girls on sawtelle right now.

Not exaggerating, she's probably top three hottest I've ever seen at a walk in AMP. If you go to Macau she would still be considered hot in the line ups they do.

She did have hygiene issues. At one point during doggie I got a whiff of the smell coming from her where you accidentally missed a spot when you wipe and it marinated the whole day. I still finished cause she was that hot. Her ass waist ratio from the back is beautiful.

She's here till end of month.

These gals eat the most rectum unfriendly food ever. As I stated, when I was walking out there was a bowl of cabbage you could wash a baby whale in. I have never seen a shit ass in an MP, but I will be writing management and demand that every gal get a barium enema before their shifts. I also recommend a proctologist be on staff.

As they say, shit happens.

[PriscillaM]

I texted over to the rl (red lantern in code because I wanted to get fucked for $. 2) over the weekend.

The roll was grace, lutheran, church. Wait, that is the place next door. No, the roll was ada, coco, sophia. I had seen sophia before and after reading the last review I picked up some ass wipes just in case of a fecal emergency. I was told that coco was a hot young asian, and with out the fake pictures to make her even more hot.

I parked way the fuck down the block and texted that I was rolling in like a 3 day delayed shipment of sockeye salmon to bristol farms. I walked past numerous houses sporting a tripod.

I went in the exclusive side door VIP entrance and rang the door bell and the loudest nee how since they finished the great wall of China rang out.

A very slim compact prostitute greeted me, this was ada. Her face was made up by a sephora trainee, but the rest of her body was straight off the fake pics that the hot young asian mongers get dripping over. Ada is like 5 foot 2, natural and hugely ponty 32 B. Has a total slim body, no hanging skin anywhere. A slight c sec scar. Nice long hair and a good ass. Even hotter than sophia.

She sends me to room 1, which is reserved for piltdown men such as myself. She has almost no english skills. They removed the massage table in this room, so it is just a bed and the room itself must be 300 square feet. If this was 8155 the fascist mamasan would have demised it in to 6 rooms.

I give her 70 for the hour she comes back and does a hard massage until I google translate for her requesing soft massage and ball licking. She did not really understand and went too hard still. She went after my nutters after a bit and had no problem with me pawing her ass. Her skin was as amooth as 13 year old scotch on taylor swifts pussy (Oh and most of the time the towel covered my hairy ass cheeks.

I turn over and she massaged for a few and then grabbed my 10 inch maglite. And in the queen's english she says "you fucka me". I said bet. And we exchanged 150- for her to return with some protection. She did a servicable BJ, nothing like sophia. But she did drink a gallon of water so it was super wet in that little asian mouth.

Boys, this girl is fire. Her only issue is really really bad breath. However, her pussy is preternatural. I did mish and I could feel her gripping me like my penor was being sent to the Dune Sea and cast into the Pit of Carkoon, the nesting place of the all-powerful Sarlacc. - she had this rhythm to the kegel that was fierce. Her breach though required a switch to K9. Boyos, her clench was incredible in all fours doggie. I was getting close and then we went to flat doggie. Holy penentration batman. She did this thing in flat doggie where it was like I was fucking an epileptic on the set of back to the future. She squeezed and vibrated like she was some pussy contraption on shark tank. I was pretty much resigned to exploding in the bag, but I was fennin to get jerked off, so I pulled out and she gave me a hand directed handie.

I almost went back the next day. I did not see coco who was advertised as hot, but ada is as the gen z says. Fire.

[JohnWu0079]

I concur with PriscillaM.

Her name is Sophie and as far as AMPs go she is 99.99th percentile hot.

Younger than 35, smooth skin, nice tits, nice butt, and pretty face. Legit hotter than all the "HYA" k girls on sawtelle right now.

Not exaggerating, she's probably top three hottest I've ever seen at a walk in AMP. If you go to Macau she would still be considered hot in the line ups they do.

She did have hygiene issues. At one point during doggie I got a whiff of the smell coming from her where you accidentally missed a spot when you wipe and it marinated the whole day. I still finished cause she was that hot. Her ass waist ratio from the back is beautiful.

She's here till end of month.

I am not sure if she is Sophie or Sophia. She is at the red lantern. I disagree that she is not cute. She is acceptable. She gives great head and has a pussy that farts back at you. 30 minutes is 50 bucks and maybe you can get FS for 140 more. I am so fucken loaded that I paid 70 for the full hour and 170 for the tip, but I am a troll baby.