Rants and Stupid shit in Orange County

[SCJohn]

Does your wife love you? If she does, she may be much more understanding than you imagine. Consider squaring with her. There are lots of ways you can be fulfilled as a polyamorous man. Some choose swinging. Some partners allow their spouses weekly or monthly trips to the brothel. Think hard about this before you do it. But this might be the best solution to this problem.

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You are certainly entitled to your opinion and can run your life the way you want to. But to advise others to follow your path, is reckless. For anyone considering doing what BSouthgate is advocating; Once you let the cat out of the bag, there's no going back. You will never know how your partner will react to this news. If you do decide to go down this path, be prepared for the consequences, upto and including divorce.

[BSouthgate]

Words of wisdom here. People overthink attraction but what matters is cleanliness and behavior. In countries where it is legal the rules list always say you have to be clean, off drugs, and not violent. The women don't care about your attractiveness. If you are very large they may have to work around it in practical terms, that's all.

I have never had a stripper or SW hop off of me and say you are an old man I'm not doing this. Quite the opposite I present myself well and they let me go to town on them.

Totally agree. Too bad so many of these new MPs do not have showers.

[BSouthgate]

Interesting. I thought poly "amory" was about "love," which is not my problem. Looked it up though, and it seems you're right.

That said, I'm married to a wonderful woman who did NOT sign up for this, and being able to CHOOSE our behavior instead of being ruled by impulse is supposed to be a part of what separates us from the animals, so.

In my case, "adjust (ing) to life as a polyamorous man" would ideally mean learning to live without mongering. Sort of like I don't eat Prime Rib with horseradish or McDonald's much anymore because my cholesterol is high. And sadly. So far. I lack the self discipline for mongering that I seem to have towards my favorite foods.

Before you were married, did you have multiple sex partners? Perhaps Tinder dates? Perhaps, women you met in bars? Perhaps friends at work, college, etc. ? I would bet that your wife is not your first lover. She did not sign up for marriage to a man who needs sex with multiple women. Just like a woman who marries a gay or bisexual man did not sign up for a man who needs sex with guys. But bisexual and polyamorous men cannot change.

With therapy two or three times a week and weekly attendance at those twelve-step programs, with pills for ADHD, your behavior may be reversed. But your nature will never be converted. You will suffer depression and anxiety worse than you now suffer. You will dream about sex with other women. You are likely to slip and have sex with a colleague on a business trip or with a woman you meet in a museum or with a massage girl at Right Spa. You will suffer so much because you are normal and you are trying to force yourself to confirm to what is not normal for you.

There are other ways around this.

Does your wife love you? If she does, she may be much more understanding than you imagine. Consider squaring with her. There are lots of ways you can be fulfilled as a polyamorous man. Some choose swinging. Some partners allow their spouses weekly or monthly trips to the brothel. Think hard about this before you do it. But this might be the best solution to this problem.

Is your wife, like you, secretly polyamorous? You can immediately say "no". But are you 100% sure she is not having affairs, or trysting with work partners or even seeing male masseuses once in a while? She may be suffering from the same ambiguity and guilt you suffer. She may be suffering extreme anxiety because she has to repress normal desires, just like you.

If you cannot open up with her, that is too bad, but there is still a solution. See my post here. http://www.usasexguide.nl/forum/show...iction-Reports.

[Grimmy23]

Interesting. I thought poly "amory" was about "love," which is not my problem. Looked it up though, and it seems you're right.

That said, I'm married to a wonderful woman who did NOT sign up for this, and being able to CHOOSE our behavior instead of being ruled by impulse is supposed to be a part of what separates us from the animals, so.

In my case, "adjust (ing) to life as a polyamorous man" would ideally mean learning to live without mongering. Sort of like I don't eat Prime Rib with horseradish or McDonald's much anymore because my cholesterol is high. And sadly. So far. I lack the self discipline for mongering that I seem to have towards my favorite foods.

I am also very happily married to a wonderful wife. The way I look at mongering is that it's a transactional thing that keeps me and my marriage healthy. Do I feel good that I monger? For the most part, no. Sometimes knowing that I do this makes me feel like a piece of shit. It kills me that I have this little secret part of my life that I'll never be able to let my SO in on. But at the same time I have sexual urges and desires that being monogamous doesn't fulfill. I can't / won't have an actual affair or hook up with a sex partner at a bar. I'd never be able to forgive myself if I did. That's acting on a physical and / or emotional attraction and would fall firmly in the cheating category, and I just wouldn't be able to live with myself if I ever did that. But by going to see a provider once in a while, it's a purely transactional thing where she gets me off, I pay my money, and leave. There's no emotional attachment. There may or may not be a little bit of physical attraction. But once I have my clothes back on and am out the door, it's over, and I likely won't ever see that person again. There are very few providers that I've seen more than once or twice. That's all I normally do, because if I do become a regular it starts to become an attachment, and I don't want that. That arm's length relationship is how I personally deal with it. By going to see a provider to get my pipes cleaned once in a while, I've never had a desire to have a real fling with anyone else.

[FreeWally]

Without exception they say as long as they are clean so if he stank no but they would offer him a shower.

Some chicks won't do cowgirl on a guy that fat because the have to spread their legs and some aren't comfortable in missionary if they are working alone (he dies they are trapped under him).

But the VAST majority don't care as long as you are clean.

Words of wisdom here. People overthink attraction but what matters is cleanliness and behavior. In countries where it is legal the rules list always say you have to be clean, off drugs, and not violent. The women don't care about your attractiveness. If you are very large they may have to work around it in practical terms, that's all.

I have never had a stripper or SW hop off of me and say you are an old man I'm not doing this. Quite the opposite I present myself well and they let me go to town on them.

[Jhadiib]

Some men like sex with men. They are not addicted. They are gay. It is useless to try to "convert" them with therapy or medicines.

Some men like sex with multiple partners. They are not addicted. They are polyamorous. It is useless to try to convert them.

Don't fall for the bullshit about sex addiction. You will always want sex with more partners. It is completely normal. Accept yourself and find a way to adjust to life as a polyamorous man.

See this post for more info:

http://www.usasexguide.nl/forum/show...iction-Reports

Interesting. I thought poly "amory" was about "love," which is not my problem. Looked it up though, and it seems you're right.

That said, I'm married to a wonderful woman who did NOT sign up for this, and being able to CHOOSE our behavior instead of being ruled by impulse is supposed to be a part of what separates us from the animals, so.

In my case, "adjust (ing) to life as a polyamorous man" would ideally mean learning to live without mongering. Sort of like I don't eat Prime Rib with horseradish or McDonald's much anymore because my cholesterol is high. And sadly. So far. I lack the self discipline for mongering that I seem to have towards my favorite foods.

[BSouthgate]

Anyone got recommendations for psych counseling around Costa Mesa, Santa Ana that deals with this stuff?

(I hear that now they're saying it can be related to ADHD).

Sure feels a lot like when I was psychologically addicted to weed back in the 90's and 00's.

Some men like sex with men. They are not addicted. They are gay. It is useless to try to "convert" them with therapy or medicines.

Some men like sex with multiple partners. They are not addicted. They are polyamorous. It is useless to try to convert them.

Don't fall for the bullshit about sex addiction. You will always want sex with more partners. It is completely normal. Accept yourself and find a way to adjust to life as a polyamorous man.

See this post for more info:

http://www.usasexguide.nl/forum/show...iction-Reports

[HoDough]

One of my ATF's told me she would tell undesirable clients HJ only instead of FS, and just take less money so she could move on to the next guy.

One of the girls I used to visit a lot told me that if she didn't like someone, she would just ask another girl to attend to him. I've also read some Rubmaps reviews where a girl would do the massage part and then have a different girl do the main event part.

[Jhadiib]

Anyone got recommendations for psych counseling around Costa Mesa, Santa Ana that deals with this stuff?

(I hear that now they're saying it can be related to ADHD).

Sure feels a lot like when I was psychologically addicted to weed back in the 90's and 00's.

[DarkRoomDaddy]

Despite the bullshit that the Holier than Thou NGOs spread, most hookers are free to refuse any client for any reason (like the sign says in restaurants and bars). Of course if a woman continually refuses clients, the boss may decide that she is not suited for the position and hire another to replace her. That is just like any job at all except the hookers have more leeway to refuse clients than waitresses or hairdressers.

On the other hand, aside from guys who are so dirty and stinky that they offend even the mamasan who takes their house fee, why should a masseuse refuse a guy? He is a source of income. She has a lot of control over the situation. She can say she only does handjobs; no FS, no BJ, not even massage. Just hand release. She can ask for as much tip as she likes.

The lesson for you brothers is you should try to be as presentable and clean and smell as nice as you can. Shit, shave and wash before you play. The play will be more fun.

One of the girls at SH told me that she never has to deal with a customer she doesn't want to, and that PPS is supportive of the girls. That being said, I have never at any time seen any evidence that others mongers or myself were ever approved or vetted by girls. Usually PPS says "1 hour combo" and you are lead to the darkened mini-room of carnal pleasures. I have never seen a girl look you up and down, and say "Well OK, I'll accept this one as a client". Maybe if they are going to reject they tell you that your girl has another appointment and suggest you see the new girl who doesn't know how to massage at all as a substitute.

[DarkRoomDaddy]

I figure I've been mongering for about 35 years. In all that time I've encountered maybe 2 or 3 girls in MPs (AMPs and LMPs) that I'd consider young hotties. Young being under about 25. I had a young Latina hottie in Downey once who couldn't have been much older than 20. I had a couple of Asian hotties who were probably in the 23 - 25 range. Outside of that, girls in their 30's and up is more the norm.

I've had a couple escorts who claimed to be 18 and their appearance supported them actually being that age. But of course they were quite expensive as compared to AMP prices.

So yeah they're out there, but you generally won't run into one by just walking into a massage shop. If you do, then you better buy a lottery ticket on your way out.

Way back in the day, I used to go to a place that was operating out of a big mansion in Bel Air. That was pre-internet days when you had to drop a quarter into the dispensers on the sidewalks and pick up a copy of the La X-Press. You'd always look around until you had a clear break to go get one because you felt like a royal pervert getting one of those in broad daylight. For those who don't know, those were newspapers with pictures of topless girls on the front page with stars covering their nipples, and they were full of sex ads. This place advertised "real college girls" and all of the girls literally looked like they could have just walked off the UCLA campus. I actually tried dating one but could never get her to fully agree. She was 18 and I was in my early 20's at the time. Basically it was a fancy jack shack. She'd get naked and spend an hour rubbing her tits all over you and then jerk you off. I went there about half a dozen times before it disappeared. Unfortunately I've never seen anything like it pop up since. I mean it wasn't a whole lot different than today's nuru shops, except all of the girls were very young and very hot, and most were white, locally grown girls.

There is a really cute 19 year old in SH on Mag and Westmin. Gorgeous. Soft long hair that kinds of brushes against you as she leans over you. She kinda presses her B-cups into your head from behdi as she is doing the seated massage. She is graceful and wonderful. Only one slight downside. She only does legit massage. Not even a hint of a tease. She won't even touch your legs except through the towel. She doesn't even bring water to you as you get dressed. Personally I can't imagine trying to corrupt an innocent youth, so I just let her do her thing and don't push it or shove it into her hand.

[DarkRoomDaddy]

For example, if a 300 lb man with pimples and scars on his face walks in, and he stinks like a homeless man. If it's a slow day, would most providers take him in, or make an excuse to turn him away?

On average, from seeing other mongers coming and going, they are not many Brad Pitts. Moreover, women generally care less about looks than men do. Valuing decency, kindness, and yes cleanliness. And even further, Chinese women in the sex business are probably even less picky about good looks or six packs. I think they appreciate a clean guy who is respectful and somewhat generous. Its possible if they see the proverbial 300 lb dude in the dark, they won't see the pimples. And they may think that this guy will be more appreciative of a good time than us seasoned mongers whose dicks have a high gloss finish after being hand waxed and polished so many times. When she is pulling his pickle, she is probably thinking more about how this 10 minute episode will earn her as much money as she would make in a week back home.

[BSouthgate]

For example, if a 300 lb man with pimples and scars on his face walks in, and he stinks like a homeless man. If it's a slow day, would most providers take him in, or make an excuse to turn him away?

Despite the bullshit that the Holier than Thou NGOs spread, most hookers are free to refuse any client for any reason (like the sign says in restaurants and bars). Of course if a woman continually refuses clients, the boss may decide that she is not suited for the position and hire another to replace her. That is just like any job at all except the hookers have more leeway to refuse clients than waitresses or hairdressers.

On the other hand, aside from guys who are so dirty and stinky that they offend even the mamasan who takes their house fee, why should a masseuse refuse a guy? He is a source of income. She has a lot of control over the situation. She can say she only does handjobs; no FS, no BJ, not even massage. Just hand release. She can ask for as much tip as she likes.

The lesson for you brothers is you should try to be as presentable and clean and smell as nice as you can. Shit, shave and wash before you play. The play will be more fun.

[BSouthgate]

One of my ATF's told me she would tell undesirable clients HJ only instead of FS, and just take less money so she could move on to the next guy.

That sounds reasonable. I am sure many use that strategy.

[ArtVandalay90]

For example, if a 300 lb man with pimples and scars on his face walks in, and he stinks like a homeless man. If it's a slow day, would most providers take him in, or make an excuse to turn him away?

One of my ATF's told me she would tell undesirable clients HJ only instead of FS, and just take less money so she could move on to the next guy.