Massage Parlor Reports

[Drawers333]

Hi everyone, long time lurker, rare poster, but I thought I'd share a big info dump of some places I've been and people I've seen over the past few months. It's easy to just read and not post, but truthfully, I wouldn't have known about many of these places without this forum, so I thought it would be time to give back a little. Not sure if it's relevant but maybe people have been nicer to me because of this: I am mid 30's, white, in good shape, and my dick is pretty nice.

T-pro: This is the first massage parlor I ever went to. I saw a few different women here a few years ago, but the woman who I always kept coming back to see is Candy. Candy is probably 50 years old, really not particularly attractive, speaks some English, but I kept coming back to see her because she is so friendly and gives a great massage. After going there a few times she figures out what you like and is really enthusiastic about what she does. In my time with her I always tipped $100. She would do some ass play, take her top off, occasionally a brief bbj, but always gave a great finish. As I posted once before in this forum, T-pro girls (with the exception of Karly, who I haven't seen) have a common goal of getting you to pay for a topless L1 for $100. After reading this forum more, I decided to branch out to other places and I don't go here anymore. If Candy is still there, I think she works Wednesday-Sunday, she's a really sweet woman and gives a great massage.

Ozone: This place rotates their girls more frequently, but I never really went with any regularity to figure out their rotation schedule. One thing I noticed is that the women almost always have either bigger natural tits or fairly big fake tits. One of the women there I have seen a few times is Sasha, she seems to have been there for a while. She's probably mid 40's, really nice skin, big fake tits, and has a great attitude. At ozone the girls usually try to get you to pay for L3, usually if you bring $300 you can cover an hour door fee and give the rest for the FS. Sasha has a really sexy attitude. She does this thing where she sucks your dick, then sucks your balls while looking up at you and stroking your cock. Very sexy. I've seen some other incredibly hot women at Ozone (I don't remember their names) and I have also seen some really unattractive women.

H Wellness: This is an L1 only place unless you really get to know the provider. My favorite thing about this place is the entrance. You don't have to stand out on the street waiting to be let in, there is a small vestibule where you buzz and wait. I've seen several providers there, all of them are ugly and have horrible attitudes except for Mae and Miki. Mae is probably 50, but something about her is just so cute. She is really friendly, speaks English decently, and gives a fantastic massage. After a few visits she will take off her top without asking you for an additional tip. She has some nice fake tits that she really keeps under wrap in most of her outfits (although admittedly they have some obvious scars from the implant surgery. Miki is a dream. She is early 30's, very skinny, absolutely beautiful in my opinion, but speaks zero English. She will only do L1, but she does the best massage I've ever had and really knows how to get a guy aroused.

Princess Latina: I think it's weird that there's a receptionist here. LOL. Even weirder that the massage therapist waits for you on the other side of a barrier right next to the waiting area. There are Latina women, and the one I had had a big butt. She gave me a bad massage, but then took her clothes off and rubbed her ass all over me and gave a nice finish for $100. I probably won't go here again, but it was ok.

Men's Spa: These women are all Spanish speakers. I saw a woman named Carol here who was hands down the hottest woman I've ever seen in real life. She looked like Lela Star. Her ass was gigantic, had huge fake tits, she was early 30's / late 20's, and her face was beautiful. Her attitude was meh, and the prices here are ridiculous. It's $75 for a 30 min massage, and they ask for $200 for a naked L1. I did it, but god damn who tf can afford this. She offers $400 for full service, and tbh she is way hotter than most escorts I se in ads for that price.

Tokyo Spa /81X Western: These places were straight up brothels, no wonder they got closed down.

Best Massage (Apartment at Montrose and Avers / Hamlin): This place is sketchy af, but the woman I saw was pretty hot. You just buzz this buzzer on a door outside of a dark apartment and you're immediately in an area with a bed and a curtain. The woman I saw spoke no English and wanted $300 for bbj and FS for an hour. It was a really fun time, but after I left, my post nut clarity was like- dude, something about that place felt a little dangerous, whether it was the idea of someone mugging me on my way in, or I don't know, just the whole set up was sketch.

The Earth Chi: None of the Instagram ads are in any way real for this place. The girls are Chinese, but they are pretty hot and they do than donguyuan or whatever the fuck it's called when they wash the fuck out of you then rim you and blow you for like 10 minutes before you fuck. It's also expensive, like 80/ hr and then they ask for more for the extras, but I always cap at $300.

TLDR: I was lonely and horny and I spent way too much money on sex workers this winter and spring.

Feel free to DM me with questions, recommendations, or criticisms.

[LazyBoy2]

No idea who I was texting but expecting them to make it up to get my business back.

They said sorry. That's as much as they going to give you.

[DanTheMan1010]

Texted them as I heard they were under new management. They said yes come in blah blah. Called and made an appt for 230. Showed up at 232. The one girl working said she would have to call another girl because she is busy. Figured that meant she would be there in no time.

Go into the room and lay on the table. Wait 10 minutes. Get up and get changed, wait 5 more minutes.

Finally leave and find the girl that was there and asked for my money back.

She claimed the girl was close by but I was done waiting. So confused and such an awful experience and waste of time.

When I text them what happened they responded 1-2 hours later saying she is almost there and then sorry.

No idea who I was texting but expecting them to make it up to get my business back.

Going to possibly try ping / pink today. Yoyo?

Any knowledge?

[DanTheMan1010]

Just a heads up for all that prefer MILF, slim and great service.

I saw Emma yesterday for the first time and can only say that I will be back again.

Cute, slim, nice C cups, around 5' short and service was surprisingly great.

Enjoy guys.

Thanks for the tip but man these messages make you work.

Something 2700 ish west and western. So it can be anywhere on western but 27 xx west? To me western is in the 2300 west block so maybe I am reading this wrong.

Anyone?

Unless it's 2700 n western and it's the opposite of the "sun" spa?

Thanks!

[Slam2505]

Has anyone been to Orange since the " renovations" ? If so anyone see Paola and looks great looking for some insight.

[IMissCutler]

I don't know the north side very well. Any good spots near the Fullerton exit on Lake Shore Drive? I have been to the spots in the 5400-5600 range of W. Fullerton. Just wondering what's closer to Lake Shore Drive.

There are a few places at the end of LSD on Ashland north of Bryn mawr and then a new joint on 66 xx and Clark. Haven't been there. Also the pps joint at 16 xx w pratt.

[Xaikhem]

How do these Asian massage places find such cute girl. Average Escort / Sugerbaby doesn't look nearly as hot.

[Bylethe]

Just a heads up for all that prefer MILF, slim and great service.

I saw Emma yesterday for the first time and can only say that I will be back again.

Cute, slim, nice C cups, around 5' short and service was surprisingly great.

Enjoy guys.

[Need It Bad]

I don't know the north side very well. Any good spots near the Fullerton exit on Lake Shore Drive? I have been to the spots in the 5400-5600 range of W. Fullerton. Just wondering what's closer to Lake Shore Drive.

[ConfuciusMan]

I texted mamasan who was working today. She replied Ivy. Last time I saw her it was a good time. Nice massage girl next door look c cup boobs with nice figure. I showed up and she lit up so happy. Went into the room. She seem so happy she kept giggling. I think her lack of english was a plus. She kept smiling. She gave me GFE. I felt like I just came back from the war and she was so happy to see me. It felt great and no hassles about tip. I gave her a nice 3 digit tip because I felt so happy afterwards. She is truely a GFE. She was nice to be around. Make sure you call and make an appointment.

[DanTheMan1010]

Texted them as I heard they were under new management. They said yes come in blah blah. Called and made an appt for 230. Showed up at 232. The one girl working said she would have to call another girl because she is busy. Figured that meant she would be there in no time.

Go into the room and lay on the table. Wait 10 minutes. Get up and get changed, wait 5 more minutes.

Finally leave and find the girl that was there and asked for my money back.

She claimed the girl was close by but I was done waiting. So confused and such an awful experience and waste of time.

[IMissCutler]

Anyone had a positive experience at Natural Healers recently? It looks like they might be under new mgmt and their ads are now combined with some Chinatown spots.

It locate at 33 xx and. Ashland in lakeview. I've been twice in the past, but not in the last year. My previous experience were subpar at best.

Thanks for any info.

They have 2 shorter Asian girls. Decent looking and seemed nice. Not big enough tits for me but I bet they are fun. I'm sure it's a 1 stop shop for everything.

[MwmChicago]

I went over to Orange, was not overly concerned about the cop parked in from of McDonald's. Saw CoCo for BBBJ / CFS all-in for $200. She looked familiar with bolt-ons, shaved pussy, and a streak in her hair. No English, but claimed that it was her first time in Chicago. I had her stamp my card even though I never pay a house fee at that place and her signature was the same as when she signed it in November. On the way out, I chatted with Linda who looks like the picture on the web site which claims that she is Vietnamese. Her English is OK and she has a big tattoo between her shoulder blades. She encouraged me to come back tomorrow and maybe I will next week since I didn't wind up in the Burger King Gulag.

No way, they don't lie! Wait, you mean in 40+ years of mongering, they haven't been orgasming at the mere look of me? Damn, you ruined it!

Sorry, couldn't help myself after seeing your headline "Hookers Lie". Made me laugh!

[BA4114]

Anyone had a positive experience at Natural Healers recently? It looks like they might be under new mgmt and their ads are now combined with some Chinatown spots.

It locate at 33 xx and. Ashland in lakeview. I've been twice in the past, but not in the last year. My previous experience were subpar at best.

Thanks for any info.

[Fit312]

I went over to Orange, was not overly concerned about the cop parked in from of McDonald's. Saw CoCo for BBBJ / CFS all-in for $200. She looked familiar with bolt-ons, shaved pussy, and a streak in her hair. No English, but claimed that it was her first time in Chicago. I had her stamp my card even though I never pay a house fee at that place and her signature was the same as when she signed it in November. On the way out, I chatted with Linda who looks like the picture on the web site which claims that she is Vietnamese. Her English is OK and she has a big tattoo between her shoulder blades. She encouraged me to come back tomorrow and maybe I will next week since I didn't wind up in the Burger King Gulag.