Massage Parlor Reports

[Packman12]

I am visiting LA for the first time in a week and wanted some input on maybe some areas to wander and pricing. From Boston so I usually get an hour for. 6-. 8 and. 5 for general finish. Will be diving into this forum today to get ideas but happy to hear any suggestions or DM me. Ill be by Marina Del Ray area for the stay and then East of LAX for a few days.

[Gruyere]

Distinguished fellows, since I recently discussed my experiences with the Russian value brand slice of the pay-per-stroke pie, it seems the natural mongering genre to expand on is Los Angeles area lock & key nuru shops. These are the ones who in the past and / or present advertise on BP, RR and similar domains, on eastern european servers that probably send hpv directly to your phone.

I can't quite put a pin on the reason for my fascination with nuru. If I had to guess, it's because I like when oiled-up naked women slide all over my body and then make me cum. But hey, I'm a freak. Fortunately for me, there are many women around here who will do that exact thing. I'm reasonably sure it's the reason the cost of living is so high.

While there are some kgirls who nuru (middle-aged hot young asians whom I do enjoy), I'm sticking to storefronts here. Storefronts mainly in strip malls who really don't want you to notice that they're there. Their doors are locked every moment they're not letting you in or out, even when the health board comes by to give them a gold medal A+ rating for superior jizz mopping.

I may have to do posts on multiple locations, but to start- my first foray was Havana in Downey. It was a bit of a drive but all my monger senses pointed towards Havana meeting my value / safety / quality venn diagram, so I had to check it out. Not to dox myself but this did lead me through DTLA where fortunately only one homeless man spit on the hood of my car. To his credit, I was looking at him funny.

I park at a Downey strip mall and text the number I had pre-arranged an appointment with. A few hours earlier I had contacted them for a session, they sent a grid of four fake pics of women who would be in a Clippers gang bang if they were real. I chose someone who I had seen some good reviews for, we'll call her L. Her pic looked like if Margot Robbie's plastic surgeon subscribed to the Yeezy newsletter. Overall I didn't know what to expect because it seemed wildly sketchy, but the reviews were glowing.

As I awaited response, I went ahead and pissed in my empty big gulp. I just didn't feel like squirting that day. Luckily I heard back soon and was led in. The front desk lady was late 40's and wearing scrubs. She was guarded and clinical. I told her I was the guy who texted about a 45-minute taint inspection. Even though she seemed to be managing quite a few text threads, she acknowledged my appt with L and led me in to the room, after collecting the house fee.

As I entered the hallway I heard a couple girls chatting amicably. I was pleasantly surprised with the cleanliness of the place. Like it would've been totally acceptable to get a handjob and an allergy shot simultaneously in there. The room was dimly lit and sterile. I laid down something like 120-140 on the side table because I had read that was the expected tip. In Sacagawea coins of course.

I get comfortable and put a listerine strip in my rectum as usual. At last, L walks in. She's wearing scrubs too, but I'm pleased with the way they hang on her. Late 20's orange county blonde & miraculously there actually is some Margot in the face. More of a Jessica Simpson profile minus the big tunas, but no complaints.

L was feeling talkative that day. Aggressively friendly, I'll say. At this point most of my mongering experience had been at AMPs with ladies who can barely say Hard Medium Soft, so it was a bit jarring at first. We chat for a few minutes and I settle in. We get a rapport going and her massage skills are top notch and include some teasing. Eventually the scrubs come off and not long after she asks me to turn over.

The reason I'm telling you about L is because the flip is unique. This being one of my first nurus I didn't quite realize or appreciate it.

After some typically enjoyable body to body, reverse cg grinding etc, she turns around and faces me directly. She grabs my cock and then lays on top of me face-to-face, like we're doing missionary and I'm the one with the glass ceiling. She starts dirty-talking me, which isn't typically my thing. She's thrusting into me and with the same motion giving me an HJ and telling me she wants to see my big dick cum. And before I could even point out that it's average at best, I was following her command. I tried to last longer but between grabbing her ass and the daddy issues cheerleader vibe I didn't stand a chance.

We cleaned up and talked about brussels sprouts or something. All I could think about was I wanted to do this again, so a few weeks later I did. However that time wasn't so pure.

I was enjoying the second session in pretty much the exact same way. At one point a few minutes after the flip, L is about to initiate her reverse missionary voodoo, but she stops. She looks me in the eyes and says she doesn't think I'm engaged in the session. She says she doesn't do this gig because she wants the person she's massaging to be a million miles way. She wants him to be present just like she is.

I can't deny the accusations. Believe it or not I wasn't treating this baby oil-clad grad student like my long lost lover. My mistake. Of course the worst part of this is I lose my boner. She proceeds with her humanitarian effort of jacking me off and soon realizes I'm soft. She says she's sorry if she made it weird. I said It's okay, let's just do our best make me bust so I can go listen to sad songs on my drive back north.

L's designated fake pic stopped popping up on the ads a few months later. Nonetheless, one day I was feeling the itch and decided to see a Latina there on a Sunday afternoon. It was a good but unremarkable session. Early 30's and solid features across the board. I can still remember the silhouette of her on top of me, double fisting my cock with a closed-eyes zen expression, that I can only assume was her imagining being off work and complaining to her friends about something.

I believe the same conglomerate also runs Jezebel's in noho. I've been there a few times but those stories will wait for another day, along with those from some similar & more independent establishments. I will jot those down soon even though the Whole Foods butcher counter gets busy during the holidays.

[PriscillaM]

Huh? Not sure why you want to slam my posts.

My personal preferences run from 20-60 and slender depending on my mood. Yours seems to be fat, sweaty providers. To each his own.

You were the dude who defended tina who had that place on fifth in santa monica. She looked like she swallowed a toaster.

[GeezerX]

Thank you for sharing. Ironically, I am a sick f-er who finds your story intriguing enough that SZ is now on my short list of places to go.

Your writing style is straight from the classic days of ZBone and ASS-C. Please contribute more. Along with the more direct and Hemingway-esque tales of debauchery from the San Diego and Orlando AMP boards, I really enjoy the more literary gonzo, Hunter S Thompson, Tom Wolfe style of your type of contributions. They are rare, and sorely missed on these boards.

Fellas, I want to give back to this fine upstanding community. Been lurking for awhile, as I've been pretty active hobbying the past year or two. I think it was the 2nd Pfizer dose that made me want to go around town collecting room temp bottles of water. Without your collective wisdom, I'd probably be wasting my life with a different hobby like rescuing dogs or teaching prisoners to read.
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[Willie23]

In other words, the staff there are not confirmed to be the old biddies at Dupar's that you crave.

Huh? Not sure why you want to slam my posts.

My personal preferences run from 20-60 and slender depending on my mood. Yours seems to be fat, sweaty providers. To each his own.

[Fat Jerk76]

Mongers. Take a fucken shower before hand, get some wet wipes to wash your ass and balls, and after the massage, take the fucken 2. 5 ounce water and wash up and shower at home.

I seriously don't understand mongers to slide into the massage joint unshowered on their lunch break. They've been pouring concrete or picking their nose in front of spreadsheets for 4 hours, then they go eat a Chipotle burrito and figure they can squeeze in a tug and the boss won't notice. So they haul their coffee breath & bean farts into the parlor and expect to be greeted with smiles and wet, inviting slit.

[PlayerN818]

I have a four hands massage story from wharf coming, and I now believe it is the vicar of jesus on earth.

But last night, the place broke me.

I am face down with a new girl. Carissa or something, typical portly Asian gal age 36-100, and in comes a monger:

The girl says to him, you want showered?

To which the monger says, not now but I want to shower after (and then goes on a fucken soliloquy about how he had showered before hand that he was raised as a foster child and that his real parents were satanists and refused to accept the lord.

There is now a shower at wharf. Mission list for me is how to cut the fucken pipes. Mongers. Take a fucken shower before hand, get some wet wipes to wash your ass and balls, and after the massage, take the fucken 2. 5 ounce water and wash up and shower at home. If I hear anything about a shower at wharf one more time, I will find a way to have like 50 homeless take showers there.

Westside has homeless? I thought they paid someone to haul them away. (It's sarcasm, people. Aim your correction ammo elsewhere).

[PriscillaM]

I have a four hands massage story from wharf coming, and I now believe it is the vicar of jesus on earth.

But last night, the place broke me.

I am face down with a new girl. Carissa or something, typical portly Asian gal age 36-100, and in comes a monger:

The girl says to him, you want showered?

To which the monger says, not now but I want to shower after (and then goes on a fucken soliloquy about how he had showered before hand that he was raised as a foster child and that his real parents were satanists and refused to accept the lord.

There is now a shower at wharf. Mission list for me is how to cut the fucken pipes. Mongers. Take a fucken shower before hand, get some wet wipes to wash your ass and balls, and after the massage, take the fucken 2. 5 ounce water and wash up and shower at home. If I hear anything about a shower at wharf one more time, I will find a way to have like 50 homeless take showers there.

[PriscillaM]

The former watch battery/repair place on Olympic is a bit too public for a local.

Another new massage Parlor (Oasis) is on Pico about 4 blocks East of Sepulveda. Lights on, nobody home. but has a rear entrance, so more discreet.

In other words, the staff there are not confirmed to be the old biddies at Dupar's that you crave.

[Willie23]

There's a new spot that opened on the corner of Sepulveda and Olympic. Dream massage. It opens a few months ago.

Anybody know anything about it? I can't find anything online. Wondering if good.

The former watch battery/repair place on Olympic is a bit too public for a local.

Another new massage Parlor (Oasis) is on Pico about 4 blocks East of Sepulveda. Lights on, nobody home. but has a rear entrance, so more discreet.

[Murrican]

There is really no info online. Is it next to the fucken 7 - 11?

Yep that one. It's been there for months. I googled the name and the address. Nada. Usually by now there's at least some indication.

[Murrican]

Check out Rose Massage in Koreatown. You can thank my blue balls after. But you should consider tipping $0. 50 for every pound you are overweight.

That place sucked. All the signs of an AMP and it's fools gold. Whipped my Johnson out and they clutched their Asian pearls.

[PriscillaM]

There's a new spot that opened on the corner of Sepulveda and Olympic. Dream massage. It opens a few months ago.

Anybody know anything about it? I can't find anything online. Wondering if good.

There is really no info online. Is it next to the fucken 7 - 11?

[Murrican]

There's a new spot that opened on the corner of Sepulveda and Olympic. Dream massage. It opens a few months ago.

Anybody know anything about it? I can't find anything online. Wondering if good.

[Gruyere]

Lads, I'm back with more tales of high society. This time we're talking about truly the upper echelon of people-touching-people here in this quaint Southern California borough: the Russian nuru sweatshacks that advertise 180 hhr /220 hr.

The marketing is great. The women in the photos are how you pictured Her while you were staring at Joaquin's fucked up lip wondering if that's a birth defect or what. The PD pictures let you imagine the world we'd live in if there were acai bowls in Stalingrad. But what you get on the other side of the door is not that. On a good day you will see the resemblance. Like if the picture hottie's cousin snuck into Long Beach on an Affliction container ship, eating Takis and rats until it was safe to swim ashore.

The good news is, they do eventually jack you off.

I've been through one of their locations a half dozen times. I'm guessing they're all the same. You text the number of what I assume to be a Russian dude, he replies in a Hey Hun broken English that personally I find to be funnier than the Asian version. The appointment is set, you will pretty much always be told they're available. It's usually short notice for me. If I spent days looking forward to this I would find that to be aggressively sad on a personal level. Not that there's anything wrong with that!

The next 20-30 minutes is the reason this is so cheap. You never really know if the time you booked is the time you will hear the sweet sweet sound of a shitty apartment building buzzer. The bookers say yes to everyone. Your appointment is like a free ticket to one of those first come first serve pre-release screeners, not orchestra seats at the Ahmanson.

The second or third time I was there, a gentleman was waiting with me. My monger senses were tingling but I guess I wanted to believe he was not seeking a 180 dollar HJ from the same naked Russian drifter as me. We stood around for a while and finally I got a text that the call of the buzzer was imminent. Because I'm a hero, and have low self-esteem, I opened the door for the fella and gestured for him to go ahead. He thanked me kindly and darted straight up to the motel-like 1-bedroom suite I had been before, where I'm assuming he chuckled while squirting out the last of the old spice body wash. It was a particularly melancholy drive to my local prostate poking granny that day.

If you do have the privilege of being the lone appointment holder, you will be led into a plain apartment with a couch and bed, at the location I've been to anyway. I do greatly prefer a mattress to a creaky table so that is appreciated, though I'm sure you'd need welding glasses if you held a blacklight to it. I've seen four different women there. The first was surprisingly hot with a kind've dingy north Florida spring break vibe. Black hair, late 20's, fake everything with some tats & a tan. The massage was light touch but not bad. She wore a thong the whole time. On the flip it was the kind've body to body lap dance I've become accustomed to in the various lite nuru operations around town. Her ass was pleasantly meaty, perhaps in a skinny fat way, but my expectations were surpassed on this inaugural run. Pop, clean-up, shower, 18 seconds of small talk, see ya next time.

Next time never came for that one. The next gal I saw twice in a row. She was probably early 30's. Light brown hair, sweet face, decent body but no standout features. Two sides of the coin with her- she gave the best damn massage I've ever had from someone in the handjob business. And she absolutely hated being touched.

She didn't tell me about the touching rule, verbally anyway. Two thirds of the way through the truly excellent pre-flip, I made an innocent graze on her leg. She took my hand and put it back on the bed. I thought maybe I was just in her way. A few minutes later I did it once more and she more firmly moved my hand away. I'm no saint, but I'm not one to push boundaries or make someone uncomfortable. I mean I do typically like a little faux intimacy with someone who's rubbing their tits on my cock, but message received. Surprisingly she then proceeded to breathe and moan into my ear. It came out of nowhere but I was into it. Completely a performance of course but in this context it worked for me.

We finished up, she was now in a great mood. What can I say, women love seeing me walk out the door. Through her disappating vape cloud she told me to come back again. I said I will, Dear, but for now I must go outside and see how many dudes with hard-ons are waiting at the buzzer.

I did actually see her again the next week because I wanted an hour this time. I'd go back for that massage if I were Hellen Keller in a strait jacket. Fortunately she rubbed her tits on my cock again. These Russian ladies take a pride in their namesake sexual act that would make the people of Cleveland blush.

The next two trips were decent enough but unremarkable. I saw a nice gal who was probably not the first of the farmer's daughters to be courted. But she was friendly and her English better than the rest. Not that I'm there for the conversations but she was easy to talk to and it wasn't awkward. High standards, I know. A week or two later I hit up the booker and asked who was working, hoping to avoid her. I'm one of these psychos who likes to be attracted to the person jacking them off. They sent fake but real enough looking pics that I thought I was in the clear. But it was her again. I went through the motions of the session out of laziness and because the price is right, but it put a bad taste in my mouth for a while.

I went back recently after a regular fell through (more on that in a future posting). This time a strung-out looking girl in her late 20's opened the door. Septum piercing and some tats, with shoulder length brown / black hair. Skinny & hot in a I'm Never Introducing Her to Mom type way. She asks half hour or hour and starts talking about upgrades. 50 bucks touching, 50 bucks nude, I don't remember what else but it wasn't particularly exciting. Having not been there for a bit I had a passing concern about it being a sting. But don't worry folks, within 26 minutes I'd be draining my balls as she softly laughs and sighs at the same time.

After I showered she hopped on my back, thong only. She took the massage seriously and it was enjoyable. There's a bed-length closet mirror where I stared and watched her work. It was one step below my vaping angel, but better than most AMPs. For those of us who enjoy the massage aspect of the hobby, I'll say I respect the effort that comes out of this particular jack shack.

On the flip I discover that I like her body quite a bit. I paid the touch upcharge because I'm a sap. Everything she did was kind've a combo of the other women I saw there. Half nuru, half lap dance, followed by the grazing of some tits on my balls. I decided to cum while grabbing her ass as she laid by my side stroking me and breathing into my ear. It's moments like these when I regret every dollar I've spent in a Thai parlor touching a 47 year old's b cup as she lifts up her shirt with one hand and solemnly finishes me off with the other.

So missed bag with this operation. Sometimes I think it's the best value in non-FS mongering. Other times I stand around for a half hour just to be the doorman for a guy who also was recently called Babe by a Russian man via SMS. Ultimately the gamble is in the scratch-off ticket nature of the ladies. I don't know how the schedules or rotations work, there's no lineup, and I don't trust the booker to tell me whether or not the person I want to see is actually the person who's there that day. But I will probably continue to follow my pattern of extremely last-minute, unplanned bookings with them. At least until I go to therapy.