What I learned as a Monger for the past 2 years. Good read for Newbies

[DivingDeep70]

I learned that I can get chlamydia from likely a BBBJ. Could be the lowest odds but I think that's how I got it. After 30 years of hobbying it happened and I tested positive and I had to tell the wife and things are fucked up now as expected. It's a mess. How it happens is unknown but it can only be from 4 possible providers and I was always careful with CFS so it had to be low odds there also. So low odds and low odds but the odds hit and I'm positive and it has ruined my life. Not great to hobby if still married and still fucking the wife. Peace out! I'm now enrolled in sex addiction counseling. Need to find a way to quit.

[Bill Underwood]

Started dating after I caught my wife of 10 1/2 years cheating on me with a 30 year old Latino coworker. First couple of girls after she moved out were both under 30 and as I am a young soul, we had some great times. Then after those broke up, I was kind of like, "what's next" I had previously checked out SA and gotten tight with a couple well known agency girls so I dove back into SA and met a great 26 why / o teacher with a masters in Special Education. We had an amazing relationship and after 4 months, she said she was in love and we discontinued all financial support at her request. A few months later, she moved with her family to Florida and now, it really was a question of "what's next". I had spent almost two years dating only girls under 32 (I am 56) and while I dried some vanilla dating with girls my age, I found them more difficult and damaged then the girls I met on SA. However, I also have to admit that the experience with SA has made me less accepting of things like someone who's out of shape as I look young for my age and train with a trainer. Thus creating my own issues as I compare some 50 year old woman to the girls that I have dated who were super hot and young.

About to break it off now with the girl that I have been seeing for the last 8 months. A total smoke show but I am starting to see her lying about so many things. The first was her age as she told me she was 24 when in fact apparently she was 20 when we met but confessed the truth after 5 months at which point she was 21. Of course, by then that ship had sailed and I did not make a big deal about the lie. We had some good times together but I have found the constant games have been almost as bad as the cheating from my wife. This has triggered me to pursue something new but it's a lot of time and money sorting through the garbage in SA to find a diamond. My baseline of expectations has been completely altered to almost unrealistic levels as I also scroll through Bumble and other platforms. Thinking maybe the smart move is the take a break and reflect on what my priorities are as I have spent an insane amount of money on dating and sugar relationships. My SA Premium has expired and I might not renew for a while. I hate being by myself and wanting to go out with a girl as prior to the split with my wife, it had been a long time since I had been in the hunt but might just need the time to recalibrate.

[GiveMeLiberty]

I'm often suspicious of therapy as it relates to prostitution because the medical industry often defaults to the position that sex work = bad and therefore if you're involved in it at all that you have some sort of pathology. That's not a position I agree with.

Is this hobby bad? I think it's like any other hobby. It crosses over into addiction when you're driven more by compulsion than passion, if you want to stop but can't, and if it's having a negative impact on your life. If it's doing that, then yes absolutely try to get it under control so you can take your life back.

But the US has always had a puritanical streak to it. I don't see seeing escorts as an inherently bad thing because I don't see sex as an inherently shameful thing. As long as I have control over the hobby and it doesn't control me, I see it as a hobby like any other. Some guys play tennis, some guys like poker, some guys like to fix up old cars, some like to race motorcycles, I like to fuck hookers. Some hobbies are a little bit riskier than others, but I don't see one as worse than another. It's a hobby in a very literal sense of the word to me.

Well said. My favorite explanation on this thread yet.

[AngelBravo]

Thanks for your honesty. I think lot of us can relate to your situation. Unfortunately some are little deeper than others. Moderation is the key and remember if you feel like you need more after a session, than yeah, the monger might have a more serious issue. I started seeing a shrink and they say I'm trying to fill a hole. Kinda ironic. All jokes aside, there's nothing wrong using the hobby to fill the hole as a temporary bandage till you find a more stable filler but don't over do it because that hole goes from being a blemish to a giant ass crater.

You know what's a real peace of mind, when I used to visit these girls I would spend the next month or 2 looking at my privates to see if anything changed. I once got an ingrown hair / pimple by my leg and scrotum and it freaked me the fuck out.

Another time I got a blemish and was told by my DR it wasn't an STD but just that was finally getting older and my skin would soon start changing. I did eventually get a full STD test 3 months after I quit and when everything came back negative I felt like I won the lottery. I fucked around and physically escaped unharmed. I didn't realize that emotionally those scars may be harder to heal.

I agree with you Ratso, if you are indulging in this hobby there is a hole you are trying to fill, for me it was a lack of intimacy even though I had opportunities outside of this hobby to partake in. I didn't honestly know I was missing it, until I had my first session and realized how much it excited me. This entire time has been somewhat of self-therapy session. I found that I'd always get excited to see and meet the girl. I had some really great connections sometimes, but in every situation even the best case scenario the girl and I would realize this is just an agreed upon arrangement. I wasn't necessarily looking for a relationship, but I was looking for something that felt genuine and not just financially transactional.

I realized however very quickly that the girls also struggle in this line of work, they survive by removing their emotions from the equation. Those that stay in the game long are really distant, and mechanical and they are actually the ones that made me realize how cold this game was. Those that really cared, and took it more personal often didn't last a very long time. Their mental health seemed to deteriorate quickly and they left soon after.

One of my best experiences was with Dana, I actually got to know her very well and know much more about her personal life and entire living situation. She even shared her real name with me as it was another layer to feel more intimate. I recall one of my best sessions, she let me actually finger her and said. "ooh my kitty really likes you". I never took it further but it was pretty hot.

Unfortunately even in that best case scenario I saw her changing as time went one. She felt like she couldn't do the work much longer and was in the end just trying to save as much as she can for her next real career. On our last session, she told me that I should quite too, and that although she enjoyed our time together we where both using it to solve a temporary problem. For her and many like her it was a financial problem, and for me it was an intimate personal problem.

Well, l have to go now; I hope what I'm typing may reach out and help someone that might be in the same position that I was. Just know that you always have to weigh the worst case scenario.

For me, if I partake in riskier behavior it would be the condom breaking; catching a major STD, having it majorly affect my current life, and completely destroying the life I currently enjoy. Just having a intimacy problem isn't worth risking all of it away. Just like a gambler, it's fun to play and gamble for fun, but you always have to know what's at risk. I find that most people that partake in this don't really have a deep understanding of everything they are risking until shit hits the FAN. I hope that never happens to any of you, but always know the risks.

[DivingDeep70]

I'm often suspicious of therapy as it relates to prostitution because the medical industry often defaults to the position that sex work = bad and therefore if you're involved in it at all that you have some sort of pathology. That's not a position I agree with.

Is this hobby bad? I think it's like any other hobby. It crosses over into addiction when you're driven more by compulsion than passion, if you want to stop but can't, and if it's having a negative impact on your life. If it's doing that, then yes absolutely try to get it under control so you can take your life back.

But the US has always had a puritanical streak to it. I don't see seeing escorts as an inherently bad thing because I don't see sex as an inherently shameful thing. As long as I have control over the hobby and it doesn't control me, I see it as a hobby like any other. Some guys play tennis, some guys like poker, some guys like to fix up old cars, some like to race motorcycles, I like to fuck hookers. Some hobbies are a little bit riskier than others, but I don't see one as worse than another. It's a hobby in a very literal sense of the word to me.

Pretty much see the point. But, if interested, make sure you visit a CSAT certified sex addiction therapist or clinic that doesn't treat this with shame, but rather as an addiction, which it is, in a way, worse than alcohol, gambling or drugs. Why, because it's an instinctive behaviour that hits the brain and we are programmed to enjoy it. Anyway, they help you dig further beyond that and help without shame.

[Jinurso]

Thanks for your honesty. I think lot of us can relate to your situation. Unfortunately some are little deeper than others. Moderation is the key and remember if you feel like you need more after a session, than yeah, the monger might have a more serious issue. I started seeing a shrink and they say I'm trying to fill a hole. Kinda ironic. All jokes aside, there's nothing wrong using the hobby to fill the hole as a temporary bandage till you find a more stable filler but don't over do it because that hole goes from being a blemish to a giant ass crater.

I'm often suspicious of therapy as it relates to prostitution because the medical industry often defaults to the position that sex work = bad and therefore if you're involved in it at all that you have some sort of pathology. That's not a position I agree with.

Is this hobby bad? I think it's like any other hobby. It crosses over into addiction when you're driven more by compulsion than passion, if you want to stop but can't, and if it's having a negative impact on your life. If it's doing that, then yes absolutely try to get it under control so you can take your life back.

But the US has always had a puritanical streak to it. I don't see seeing escorts as an inherently bad thing because I don't see sex as an inherently shameful thing. As long as I have control over the hobby and it doesn't control me, I see it as a hobby like any other. Some guys play tennis, some guys like poker, some guys like to fix up old cars, some like to race motorcycles, I like to fuck hookers. Some hobbies are a little bit riskier than others, but I don't see one as worse than another. It's a hobby in a very literal sense of the word to me.

[Ratso100]

So, this is the first time I log onto this site and check out my usual link to the girls working. I noticed something about myself when I wasn't looking. I was perfectly happy not wondering about what I was missing out on. I am enjoying the summer, and have stuck to working out and feeling good about it.

I'm starting to realize that this mongering was adding to a bit of negative mental health and now that I don't think about it anymore I really am better off. I do however notice that if I keep looking at girls, and I find the pictures alluring as it's built into me as a man then it starts to pull me back in a bit.

A good old Post nut clarity puts me back on track and is much cheaper; but I did want to share that if you do ever plan to walk away; going cold turkey is the best medicine. Out of sight out of mind.

I may not post here again, and I hope you all find what your looking for. If I don't log back on then you know I've succeeded and I am where I want to be; it's been fun gentlemen. Stay safe and listen to your inner thoughts and resolve your mental conflicts.

Take care.

Thanks for your honesty. I think lot of us can relate to your situation. Unfortunately some are little deeper than others. Moderation is the key and remember if you feel like you need more after a session, than yeah, the monger might have a more serious issue. I started seeing a shrink and they say I'm trying to fill a hole. Kinda ironic. All jokes aside, there's nothing wrong using the hobby to fill the hole as a temporary bandage till you find a more stable filler but don't over do it because that hole goes from being a blemish to a giant ass crater.

[AngelBravo]

So if a fresh cutie shows up, you will take a pass? Strong man.

Let's be honest, the scene sucks. Over priced hardened desensitized skanks.

In all honesty, it can be very tempting. Even checking out this site makes me feel like it wants to suck me back in. I have to treat it like an addiction, and I know the moment I dip in just a little bit like seeing Wendy at 262 which is very safe and completely L1 sounds like fun.

But if I see a cutie like this it will just put me back where I started and I realized in my time off that seeing these girls was just a temporary fix to a personal problem. It will never resolve itself, and I'm fortunate enough to see straight to know that if I really need to solve the problem I need to hit the issues head on. They are much harder to resolve, and many of it is realizing that I have to change. Sure maybe the situation around me is not helping in some cases but ultimately I am in control of my life and I now know what I want.

I want peace and clarity and above all true happiness. I wasn't truly happy with myself, and the time off made me figure out what was broken and what I need to spend time on to fix.

The plus to all of this, is I am no longer disappointed spending time with troubled women who are also fighting their own demons. It's also a great money savor and in the end I'm much happier now. I just dropped in today to see how everyone else was doing and saw this comment towards myself and felt I needed to reply. Hope all is well.

[Riina]

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I'm starting to realize that this mongering was adding to a bit of negative mental health and now that I don't think about it anymore I really am better off. I do however notice that if I keep looking at girls, and I find the pictures alluring as it's built into me as a man then it starts to pull me back in a bit.

So if a fresh cutie shows up, you will take a pass? Strong man.

Let's be honest, the scene sucks. Over priced hardened desensitized skanks.

[Illinois Guy 7]

So, this is the first time I log onto this site and check out my usual link to the girls working. I noticed something about myself when I wasn't looking. I was perfectly happy not wondering about what I was missing out on. ....

... but I did want to share that if you do ever plan to walk away; going cold turkey is the best medicine. Out of sight out of mind.

I may not post here again, and I hope you all find what your looking for. If I don't log back on then you know I've succeeded and I am where I want to be; it's been fun gentlemen. Stay safe and listen to your inner thoughts and resolve your mental conflicts.

I will agree. I am not quite there yet to go cold turkey, but I often swear I will never to to M. A. Or my favorite- K. P. Ever again. Then I look and some hottie with huge tits and great reviews is there and I got to go. Or the nymphomaniac is back and I got to see her again. I had great sex with some of the hottest women, but to the making of "hottest women" there seems to be no end.

I am going to just see Macie and no others for now because she is wallet-friendly plus I got a thing for slender tall black girls with nice tits. And I am not quite ready to give up the hobby. But reading this forum tells me there are hotties to go see and I got to go see them. At the very least, I cannot go to agency sites anymore. I looked today at KP and now I want to try Ruby. But really, after Ruby will be Lucy and Suzy and Brenda and Charlene and etc. Etc. Etc. I will just not go to KP's page anymore. Well, that's the plan. I will retire from my job in a few years and move away. By that time, I will not be able to engage in this hobby at all. But I can retire sooner if I just avoid the urge to see the lastest new hotties or the best returning ladies that I hadn't seen in several months.

When I am ready, I will have to go cold turkey as this poster said.

[AngelBravo]

So, this is the first time I log onto this site and check out my usual link to the girls working. I noticed something about myself when I wasn't looking. I was perfectly happy not wondering about what I was missing out on. I am enjoying the summer, and have stuck to working out and feeling good about it.

I'm starting to realize that this mongering was adding to a bit of negative mental health and now that I don't think about it anymore I really am better off. I do however notice that if I keep looking at girls, and I find the pictures alluring as it's built into me as a man then it starts to pull me back in a bit.

A good old Post nut clarity puts me back on track and is much cheaper; but I did want to share that if you do ever plan to walk away; going cold turkey is the best medicine. Out of sight out of mind.

I may not post here again, and I hope you all find what your looking for. If I don't log back on then you know I've succeeded and I am where I want to be; it's been fun gentlemen. Stay safe and listen to your inner thoughts and resolve your mental conflicts.

Take care.

[PopWorker]

Like they say, she's not yours it's just your turn.

Most Definitely '.

[Cruising Y]

I definitely agree to what's being said here. It's not a connection it's the illusion of the connection and the sleaze factor. Just like most I've been with many different providers, and the one's that looks the sexiest to ME and really, really know how to turn my crank are the one's I have felt closet with. I learned many lessons in this game over the year's and the most important is never get very attached and fall for a provider. They belong to the Pimps, the boyfriends, the BDs and the candy man. Most girls have at least 2 out of 4 always revolving around there life. So in essence those guys get it off the top, most of us get it when it's are turn to get it.

So it's great that they give us deals, it's great that they give you extra time, bareback. It's good that you can talk & text with them deeply and explore your inner most nasty fantasies, but at the end of the day it's just that, Fantasy. Also it all varies from monger to monger, depending how deep your pockets are, how you look and how you can persuade each individual girl, the variables are endless. That's where the competition comes in between mongers. Doing BB and DFK and daty will also increase your odds of getting attached, in my opinion. I was seeing a chic a few years back and she was the perfect little sloot. BB, CIM, swallow no gag reflex at all, she didn't know how to come up for air. She would give me great deals also. I did get attached to her some. When she stopped providing service I did get a little fucked up about it for a while. Definitely had to use other chics to try and fill that void. So you definitely have to be mindful & carefull.

Like they say, she's not yours it's just your turn.

[PopWorker]

I definitely agree to what's being said here. It's not a connection it's the illusion of the connection and the sleaze factor. Just like most I've been with many different providers, and the one's that looks the sexiest to ME and really, really know how to turn my crank are the one's I have felt closet with. I learned many lessons in this game over the year's and the most important is never get very attached and fall for a provider. They belong to the Pimps, the boyfriends, the BDs and the candy man. Most girls have at least 2 out of 4 always revolving around there life. So in essence those guys get it off the top, most of us get it when it's are turn to get it.

So it's great that they give us deals, it's great that they give you extra time, bareback. It's good that you can talk & text with them deeply and explore your inner most nasty fantasies, but at the end of the day it's just that, Fantasy. Also it all varies from monger to monger, depending how deep your pockets are, how you look and how you can persuade each individual girl, the variables are endless. That's where the competition comes in between mongers. Doing BB and DFK and daty will also increase your odds of getting attached, in my opinion. I was seeing a chic a few years back and she was the perfect little sloot. BB, CIM, swallow no gag reflex at all, she didn't know how to come up for air. She would give me great deals also. I did get attached to her some. When she stopped providing service I did get a little fucked up about it for a while. Definitely had to use other chics to try and fill that void. So you definitely have to be mindful & carefull.

[Jinurso]

That girl put into words my unorganized thoughts. I really wouldn't care if I dated a sex worker or if my wife was sleeping around because she, like me, wanted variety. I am lucky she doesn't because what would bother me if someone I knew through work or friends or family would throw it in my face that they just banged my wife or girlfriend. Even though I like to sample different women I would never want it thrown in my wife's face. That is just rude.

Isn't funny how my mind works? It would be okay to be in an open relationship or date a sex worker but nobody at work should be standing around telling everyone how they banged someone I am involved with. I guess because it's a form of bullying? I guess in my mind it's okay to cheat but not okay to bully. LOL.

B.

It makes sense. No matter how open minded you are, you're still going to be jealous if you care for the person you're with. So while you might say "do what makes you happy" and set some ground rules and come to an arrangement, you still wouldn't want to know details. At least not good ones. I enjoyed hearing bad details though LOL. Those made me feel safer.

The one SW I dated who came closest to girlfriend status offered to quit and get a "regular job" if I agreed to also quit and she was able to move in with me and we lived like a regular couple. The jaded, woman-hating interpretation of that is "she's just trying to leech off of you! You see?! She's still a hooker! And I bet she'll keep doing it behind your back! I hate women!" But I've dated non-SW and had very similar conversations about how they could afford to go to business school full time if we lived together. It's no different.

Unless you're taking about $100 qv types who are "managed", trafficked, or have an addiction, actual escorts have real, functional lives outside of the business. They have friends, family, hobbies. I still remember going to a baseball game with Carmella Starr. It wasnt technically a date, since she identifies primarily as a lesbian outside of work. She just happend to have a spare ticket and offered it to me.

She had a crew of five friends we went with. None of them were in the business and none of them knew what she did. It was a perfectly normal night out. No money exchanged (except a round of beer I treated everybody to at the end). No sex, either. Just a group of normal 30-somethings doing 30-somethings things.

It's important to have healthy relationships with women outside of this business. Otherwise you start seeing every woman as objects and lose the ability to see them as humans. Then you REALLY won't be able to connect. Not with SW, and not with any women.