What I learned as a Monger for the past 2 years. Good read for Newbies

**Jayp80** · 05-05-23 07:35

Originally Posted by AngelBravo [View Original Post]

There is wife / gf / friend, heavily discounted, emotional, meaningful, physically gratifying, loving sex; or there is Paid sexual physical gratification sex. I think we can all agree on the one that comes with more perks.

You're paying one way or another, if it's a casual thing and you have to text back and forth and talk to her about BS before the date you're paying for it in time. I'm married and believe me I'm paying for it with the BS events I have to go to, family things I would never do, trips I wouldn't take, the life she leads that far exceeds her salary, freedom to date other chicks I gave up, the list goes on. If I got a divorce tomorrow, I know I could go to bars or on the dating apps and pick up chicks but women are such headaches and are so needy I would still continue in the hobby.

**AngelBravo** · 05-05-23 01:42

Originally Posted by RonM [View Original Post]

There's always a cost for sex. Money and whatever benefit or gain she gets from a guy. Guys always pay for sex in one form or another. In this pay to play game it's money. There's no such thing as free sex.

There is wife / gf / friend, heavily discounted, emotional, meaningful, physically gratifying, loving sex; or there is Paid sexual physical gratification sex. I think we can all agree on the one that comes with more perks.

**Bkmsw** · 05-04-23 11:33

Originally Posted by Jinurso [View Original Post]

I'd feel like a hypocrite if I judged a sex worker for being a sex worker considering I'm a hobbyist. Each time I dated one we broke up for reasons unrelated to the job and it never got to the "what's commitment look like" point. But with one girl she told me the only rule was to stop seeing anybody else at the place where she worked because she didn't want other girls to weaponize that against her if they found out we were an item.

That girl put into words my unorganized thoughts. I really wouldn't care if I dated a sex worker or if my wife was sleeping around because she, like me, wanted variety. I am lucky she doesn't because what would bother me if someone I knew through work or friends or family would throw it in my face that they just banged my wife or girlfriend. Even though I like to sample different women I would never want it thrown in my wife's face. That is just rude.

Isn't funny how my mind works? It would be okay to be in an open relationship or date a sex worker but nobody at work should be standing around telling everyone how they banged someone I am involved with. I guess because it's a form of bullying? I guess in my mind it's okay to cheat but not okay to bully. LOL.

B.

**DivingDeep70** · 05-04-23 08:17

Originally Posted by Jinurso [View Original Post]

I've literally dated a few sex workers (as in no money exchanged beyond me paying for dates, we were a regular couple), so I know for a fact that most of them are regular people who are perfectly capable of a connection if you put in the effort and it matters to you. I do wonder how many johns are capable of it, though. The same way there are some sex workers who have become jaded by the business and have come to hate men, there are a lot of men here who have also become jaded and lost a sense of wonder and fun. That's what I was talking about earlier when I said there are some men who see this as a passion and others as a compulsion or addiction.

I still see this as a passion and I hope I always will.

As long as you're in control of the hobby and the hobby isn't in control of you, have fun.

Not challenging what you and someone else claim to have successfully done. Human or not human, these are not relationships and they are never going to work out. The mind can make you believe whatever you want to believe but in the end it's not real and it's not healthy and it will never be except in prob some fractional number of circumstances in which case I'm better off buying lotto tickets. Just sayin.

But have fun with it and do what you like and enjoy. It's still an addiction no matter what disguise it wears.

**Jinurso** · 05-03-23 23:20

Originally Posted by MikeJones333 [View Original Post]

Kudos for dating some and getting free sex but when you say "dating" do you just mean a friends with benefits type of deal. I don't know about you but I can't imagine "dating" a girl who's taking down 8-10 dicks a day. I know it's different strokes for different folks but for me this would ruin it mentally and could never take her seriously or date her.

I'd feel like a hypocrite if I judged a sex worker for being a sex worker considering I'm a hobbyist. Each time I dated one we broke up for reasons unrelated to the job and it never got to the "what's commitment look like" point. But with one girl she told me the only rule was to stop seeing anybody else at the place where she worked because she didn't want other girls to weaponize that against her if they found out we were an item.

**Ron M** · 05-03-23 22:57

Originally Posted by MikeJones333 [View Original Post]

Kudos for getting free sex

There's always a cost for sex. Money and whatever benefit or gain she gets from a guy. Guys always pay for sex in one form or another. In this pay to play game it's money. There's no such thing as free sex.

**MikeJones333** · 05-03-23 21:56

Originally Posted by Jinurso [View Original Post]

I've literally dated a few sex workers (as in no money exchanged beyond me paying for dates, we were a regular couple), so I know for a fact that most of them are regular people who are perfectly capable of a connection if you put in the effort and it matters to you. I do wonder how many johns are capable of it, though. The same way there are some sex workers who have become jaded by the business and have come to hate men, there are a lot of men here who have also become jaded and lost a sense of wonder and fun. That's what I was talking about earlier when I said there are some men who see this as a passion and others as a compulsion or addiction.

I still see this as a passion and I hope I always will.

As long as you're in control of the hobby and the hobby isn't in control of you, have fun.

Kudos for dating some and getting free sex but when you say "dating" do you just mean a friends with benefits type of deal. I don't know about you but I can't imagine "dating" a girl who's taking down 8-10 dicks a day. I know it's different strokes for different folks but for me this would ruin it mentally and could never take her seriously or date her.

**ChicagoBred33** · 05-03-23 19:23

Originally Posted by Jinurso [View Original Post]

I've literally dated a few sex workers (as in no money exchanged beyond me paying for dates, we were a regular couple), so I know for a fact that most of them are regular people who are perfectly capable of a connection if you put in the effort and it matters to you. I do wonder how many johns are capable of it, though. The same way there are some sex workers who have become jaded by the business and have come to hate men, there are a lot of men here who have also become jaded and lost a sense of wonder and fun. That's what I was talking about earlier when I said there are some men who see this as a passion and others as a compulsion or addiction.

I still see this as a passion and I hope I always will.

As long as you're in control of the hobby and the hobby isn't in control of you, have fun.

Can echo this sentiment. Being in the general age ranges of most providers opens up chance encounters via dating apps, bars, etc. I've also been fortunate enough to date a few completely outside this hobby. They are regular people with their own needs regardless of what character they play during the day. I've seen plenty of guys on this board bash workers for having mental issues or a screw loose and sure that's probably true in some cases, but I have always had a great time with them outside the hobby and never once felt hustled, pressed for money, or taken advantage of. The resounding theme was that the majority of men within the hobby treat them like shit or cross boundaries, which in turn leads to them becoming jaded or just not giving a fuck about the service. A little respect goes a long way.

**Jinurso** · 05-03-23 17:46

I've literally dated a few sex workers (as in no money exchanged beyond me paying for dates, we were a regular couple), so I know for a fact that most of them are regular people who are perfectly capable of a connection if you put in the effort and it matters to you. I do wonder how many johns are capable of it, though. The same way there are some sex workers who have become jaded by the business and have come to hate men, there are a lot of men here who have also become jaded and lost a sense of wonder and fun. That's what I was talking about earlier when I said there are some men who see this as a passion and others as a compulsion or addiction.

I still see this as a passion and I hope I always will.

As long as you're in control of the hobby and the hobby isn't in control of you, have fun.

**Ron M** · 05-01-23 20:47

It's all part of the game. An escort will make you feel like you have a connection with her to keep you as a repeat client.

Sounds like some of you guys are taking this connection thing a bit more beyond than what it is.

**Eddinger** · 05-01-23 15:20

Personally, I enjoy being able to get nude and have a woman with a great body get nude and massage me and rub over me and jump on me and fuck her without having to make a connection. I don't care if connections could be made or not, I appreciate not having to have one to have a wonderful time fucking someone. Its not difficult for me to respect the woman as a person and respect her as well by not forcing her to humor my need for a "connection" in order for me to enjoy sex with her.

**GeneralObvious** · 05-01-23 06:42

They are very real. When I first ventured into this hobby, I started with AMPs, then moved to higher end escorts. I speak fluent Mandarin. My wife was Chinese. Thus, I can connect to spa gals very easily. Despite being over 50, I've stayed in great shape. At 6'1" and 185 lbs, I'm very fit, still attractive, with only a hint of gray in my beard. It helps to have a personality.

As I read forum posts, it appears many guys think providers are barely human. Sad. That attitude gets you nowhere. In my 6 years of mongering, I've been invited out by more than a dozen spa girls, and they pay for dinner. They're not looking for marriage either. We have sex with no payment exchanged.

Get away from the one dimensional transaction mindset, and things will look better. They're women. They like companionship, affection, and sex, just like everybody.

**Ron M** · 04-30-23 12:43

The Styx CD "Grand Illusion" seems appropriate during this current topic of conversation.

**Riina** · 04-30-23 12:31

Originally Posted by DivingDeep70 [View Original Post]

This connection is not Real! I don't know a single provider who develops a real connection. Just read the thousands of posts on their Twitter and reviews. They are acting for money, period. If they have a relationship, it's not a customer it's outside. The best ones fool you into thinking you have a connection because that means more money from you to fund what they do for real. You are a customer, never fool yourself otherwise, that's you penis thinking. They could give a shit about you beyond the transaction. Don't believe me, ask them to do it for free.

Now the good ones will make you feel connected if that is what they know you want. And as a person they may actually enjoy your company compared to say the random one and done customer etc. BUT they are not connected to you and there's almost NEVER a relationship beuknd money and even those that actually find their fish, well think about it, how long will that really last? She fucked guys for money so you better either have a gravy train that doesn't run out or it's a question of time before she dumps you and goes looking again. Or if you dump her, she will look again. Nothing genuine.

I'm not preaching but Goodluck and enjoy your journey, just do it eyes wide open.

Good post. Always remember you're just a good customer when you feel a connection and enjoy the illusion for the moment.

**OldSchoolGuy73** · 04-28-23 15:10

Originally Posted by Jinurso [View Original Post]

That's a jaded way of looking at it. I very much believe you can create a real connection with a sex worker. And I do, often. A connection doesn't have to mean she's going to leave her life behind and move on with you (I wouldn't want that anyway). A connection can be something as simple as an easy, fun, flowing conversation where you have a genuinely good time, learn something fun or new and think back fondly. And if you become a regular, it continues to build. You can build a connection with anybody. Your Uber driver, mailman, airplane passenger next to you. It doesn't have to be romantic, but it can still be real, even if it's ultimately business.

Trouble starts not when you believe in real connections with a sex worker, it's when you stop believing in it. They're still people in the end, and can still be emotionally engaged like anybody else.

I've been at a whole week straight and saw this thread when needed to be seen. It's an addiction, and I've been doing this now for 20 yrs started 10 yrs ago with girls off back page and Craigslist and quit for awhile due to kids sports then started back about 2 yrs after first dabbing in AMPs and right back to escorts. Wasn't sure what it was I was looking for because sometimes you'd nut and have that moment of regret of why did I just blow my money and do this when my partner is a hot MILF, at least 8/9 with big tits but to each his own fetish and for me it's I liked to be touched. Anyone can fuck but how many know what it feels like to be massaged all over and caressed then get a blow job right after and maybe a little sex on top. Twice this week I had that orgasm where your soul leaves your body after your nut. I know at home I won't be able to get a BBBJ and blow my load in her mouth and would I want to IDK. Also as men we come to a stage in our life where we are getting older and start to lose our sexual energy and I don't want to ever. Will be trying to take a break for awhile I'd hate to lose what I have currently in life but part of me wants to so I can enjoy the freedom and not worry about it. I will still get a normal massage no frills and maybe a hot 9/10 on a special occasion wish me luck. I still Enjoy a lot of these posts on this site.