"Sugarbabies" / "Arrangements" Amateurs or Not?

**FarFarAway** · 07-31-22 13:17

Originally Posted by Zerry [View Original Post]

You're paying for sex. Why such a hard line on drugs? Needle drugs for AIDS sure, but weed? If they look haggard they look haggard, past drug use or not.

I am not judging *your* choices. I detest smoke of any type, and having a SO, were I to show up at home with *any* sort of weed smell (my SO used to, I am thankful she quit, and primarily b / c of me, but I am sure she knows *exactly* the smell), I could be in for answering some awkward questions. And I have values and self-control, IK many people get into addictions, that doesn't mean I have to have those people in my life, where they can inadvertently do damage to mine.

I likewise won't tolerate a SB who is chronically disorganized / late, I had a POT I was supposed to see just a couple of weeks ago, for our first two meetings, the M&G and a putative FC, she was 45 minutes late, without explanation, texting excuses, etc. , I can't deal with that and stay safe regarding the SO, I need to know when we're going to meet.

**Zerry** · 07-31-22 07:04

Originally Posted by FarFarAway [View Original Post]

I have a couple of SBs I have seen this year, their teeth look pretty good but just off, like maybe their two front teeth (and perhaps more) are caps. Since I understand some people w / drug problems lose their teeth, should I take this as an indicator that there was drug use in their past (and be concerned about the present)? The most recent, a 29 year old single mom, admits she likes weed, and I said I wouldn't be around it at all, she backed down by saying she liked edibles. The other one has two early teenage kids, but ex has custody of them.

You're paying for sex. Why such a hard line on drugs? Needle drugs for AIDS sure, but weed? If they look haggard they look haggard, past drug use or not.

**SailMan2** · 07-31-22 06:24

Originally Posted by FarFarAway [View Original Post]

I have a couple of SBs I have seen this year, their teeth look pretty good but just off, like maybe their two front teeth (and perhaps more) are caps. Since I understand some people w / drug problems lose their teeth, should I take this as an indicator that there was drug use in their past (and be concerned about the present)? The most recent, a 29 year old single mom, admits she likes weed, and I said I wouldn't be around it at all, she backed down by saying she liked edibles. The other one has two early teenage kids, but ex has custody of them.

Bad teeth could be from drugs, eating disorders, poor nutrition or just a shit childhood where there was not a parent to make sure they were brushing their teeth.

Not all, but a good amount of SBS are SBs because something didn't go well in life and they can't get their shit together and end up with dependencies. Again not all, some just like mature guys and the extra income, but in my experience that has been about 25%, maybe even less as I reject alot of potentials.

I wouldn't care about pot use as that is pretty common now. I'm suprised when I find somebody under 30 that isn't using pot at least recreationally.

A mom that loses custody is a warning sign as courts usually favor kids. An exception might be boys living with dad, but if she lost custody of a girl, that's exceptional.

**FarFarAway** · 07-30-22 17:25

I have a couple of SBs I have seen this year, their teeth look pretty good but just off, like maybe their two front teeth (and perhaps more) are caps. Since I understand some people w / drug problems lose their teeth, should I take this as an indicator that there was drug use in their past (and be concerned about the present)? The most recent, a 29 year old single mom, admits she likes weed, and I said I wouldn't be around it at all, she backed down by saying she liked edibles. The other one has two early teenage kids, but ex has custody of them.

**PartyTimeGuy** · 07-30-22 01:35

Originally Posted by TheHobbyLobby [View Original Post]

I have been very lucky and on three occassions I have hooked up with SB and didn't pay anything. My SB we dated for about two months. She went back to her home state but after three years we still keep in touch. I do consider a friend and she does as well. I do like and charish those relationships. However, now, as I am back in the bowl. Those three expriences were like lightining strikes. I don't think I'll ever have that again but a guy can dream.

When I was younger I didn't need to pay for it. There was plenty of tail available for free almost anywhere. I am now 60 plus. I can still get 40 plus tail for free and do. Very occasionally that is also true for 30 somethings. However, if I want 18-30 I will most likely need to offer a monetary incentive. While some sweet young things will be more compatible than others, both sexually and otherwise, it is unlikely that the relationship will be one in which we will continue to be "friends," after the financial arrangement is over. Nor is it likely that my "freebies" will continue as 'friends" after the luster has gone out of the sex. Women and men seem either to be casual acquaintances, sexual partners or incommunicado. At least that has been my experience to date. I suppose an ongoing platonic friendship with a woman could happen. I wouldn't foreclose the possibility. It wouldn't be unpleasant (unless she is just looking for a handy "piggy bank"). But, as you mentioned, ongoing friendships with females when sex is over are probably as rare as lightning strikes. And I have yet to be struck.

**EasyeOne** · 07-27-22 19:11

Originally Posted by EasyeOne [View Original Post]

Working on it as well. I'll update you if anything.

Moving on, we set up a date and then started asking for a paid meet and greet. Claims she gets 300 for a meet and greet. No action on first date. Next!

**TheHobbyLobby** · 07-27-22 10:27

Originally Posted by PartyTimeGuy [View Original Post]

Yes. SDs will suggest that their sugar philosophy and approach is the right one, but everyone does what works for them, which will likely be a blend of what has worked for others. I personally have never had a SB relationship that extended beyond the end of the arrangement. I suspect that this is because I never sought that kind of connection. I have always wanted more than bang-bang, done, bye-bye, but not so much that there was a deep interpersonal bond. We are all different. They are all different. There are many ways to play in the bowl. They are all valid and, in the end, we all get what we want and how we want and for the reasons we want it.

I have been very lucky and on three occassions I have hooked up with SB and didn't pay anything. My SB we dated for about two months. She went back to her home state but after three years we still keep in touch. I do consider a friend and she does as well. I do like and charish those relationships. However, now, as I am back in the bowl. Those three expriences were like lightining strikes. I don't think I'll ever have that again but a guy can dream.

**Ernest Ll** · 07-27-22 09:50

I'd start at least a week in advance, especially if you are trying to meet a more traditoinal SB type vs. UTR / Semi Pro. The UTRs won't care, but they also have a lot more options and are more likely to bail same day when they get a better offer.

I've had most of my best sugar adventures on the road and several slumber parties over the years.

First, like them stretch the truth. I tell them I visit every month or so as work dictates, so it doesn't feel like a one off even if it is.

Second, set them at ease. I usually say something like "So if meeting a visitor on that frequency isn't too far out on the NSA end of the Sugar Spectrum for your sensibilities, I hope to hear from you".

Third, be clear on your expectations. Can't really spend time on M&G when on the road, which is why I start early. Message them frequently and get them to text ASAP so you can filter by damage and menu. But let them know you want to get to know them before landing so our time together doesn't feel so transactional. And reinforce this in your discussions, both tone and expectations. "hoping we can meet for drinks, dinner and adjourn for dessert and a midnight snack. And maybe even breakfast in bed".

Fourth -- have back ups. Schedule your preferred POT first -- 6 pm or as early as you can, your 2nd for 730 and tell her you you have to go out for drinks with client. If 6 pm shows, then discretely text your back up to cancel. "Dog / kid is throwing up and wife is freaking out, blowing up my phone all night, won't be fun to meet with all the drama / calls / texts". If not, then you have a back up. Once, my back up I cancelled texted me the next morning since she was at the gym not far from my hotel and said she still wanted to meet me. Ended up in my room for a quickie not an hour after my preferred gal left after our slumber party!

Fifth -- if you are married / involved, don't hide it unless you never get check in / good night calls from home. Nothing worse than some gal getting pissed you have to stop eating her to talk to wife if she thought you wouldn't be uninterrupted. Plus the good ones will understand and either blow you or play with themselves for you to watch while you are on the phone.

**PartyTimeGuy** · 07-27-22 09:46

Originally Posted by BamBam [View Original Post]

All relationships exist on a continuum. Marriage is at one end and streetwalkers are at the other. There is a big middle. For me, a sugar baby is more like a mistress or kept woman. I often stay in touch long after the arrangement is over. I have an ex-SB sending me beach photos from her new set up in California. Another shares vacation videos. I recently had an SB from nearly five years ago recontact me. She left an abusive relationship and wanted to get back together. However, it is also true that everyone finds the sugar bowl they are seeking. The trouble comes when someone who only wants a transactional sugar bowl insists that the one they find is the only "true" sugar bowl. Or vice-versa. There are many types of bowls and they are all correct.

BAM.

Yes. SDs will suggest that their sugar philosophy and approach is the right one, but everyone does what works for them, which will likely be a blend of what has worked for others. I personally have never had a SB relationship that extended beyond the end of the arrangement. I suspect that this is because I never sought that kind of connection. I have always wanted more than bang-bang, done, bye-bye, but not so much that there was a deep interpersonal bond. We are all different. They are all different. There are many ways to play in the bowl. They are all valid and, in the end, we all get what we want and how we want and for the reasons we want it.

**TheHobbyLobby** · 07-27-22 08:27

Going to see this one pretty soon. Does anyone have any experience with this one.

https://members.seeking.com/member/a...3-f1ce20a94aac

**TheHobbyLobby** · 07-27-22 07:31

Originally Posted by EasyeOne [View Original Post]

Working on it as well. I'll update you if anything.

So I texted her last night and she asked for a pic. My spidy senses were going off so I just picked a random pic of the net. Whn I sent it over she asked for more. Very fishy. I told her I would send only one and asked for another one in return. To see if the pics were the same as on the profile. Not a good start.

**EasyeOne** · 07-26-22 23:09

Originally Posted by TheHobbyLobby [View Original Post]

Jesus, not sure what is wrong with me today. Ok third time is a charm. Does anyone have any info on this one. I finally made contact via text but she is slow playing me. Spidey senses starting to get actived.

https://members.seeking.com/member/a...d-b2b66ccd2c7d

Working on it as well. I'll update you if anything.

**TheHobbyLobby** · 07-26-22 20:35

Jesus, not sure what is wrong with me today. Ok third time is a charm. Does anyone have any info on this one. I finally made contact via text but she is slow playing me. Spidey senses starting to get actived.

https://members.seeking.com/member/a...d-b2b66ccd2c7d

**FarFarAway** · 07-26-22 18:29

Originally Posted by GutterMind4 [View Original Post]

Time is your friend. As mentioned earlier, it's a numbers game. I have done this each time I've have a few days out of town in a major market. A few days or weeks even before your trip, blast as many messages to girls as you can. Move them off site to discuss terms, screen out as many fakes and scams as possible, and the day or two prior to landing, line up the ones you really like or land in your budget. Keep in mind, even with 3 or 4 lined up, statistically, only one or two will be show. Also, Chicago is expensive so be prepared to pay premium for premium. I've scored pretty well when I did this in Atlanta, Orlando, and Vegas. And don't understand estimate the time it will take. Orlando was my first trip with SA and learned the hard way to be better prepared. The Atlanta trip I f*cked two the first 5 hours I was there, another the next day, and had to cancel another because I was too beat up. I'm getting too old for this shit.

LOL.

Awesome insight. But what do you mean by 'better prepared'?

Yes, those principles are similar to some I have seen in the past.

**GutterMind4** · 07-26-22 17:34

Time is your friend. As mentioned earlier, it's a numbers game. I have done this each time I've have a few days out of town in a major market. A few days or weeks even before your trip, blast as many messages to girls as you can. Move them off site to discuss terms, screen out as many fakes and scams as possible, and the day or two prior to landing, line up the ones you really like or land in your budget. Keep in mind, even with 3 or 4 lined up, statistically, only one or two will be show. Also, Chicago is expensive so be prepared to pay premium for premium. I've scored pretty well when I did this in Atlanta, Orlando, and Vegas. And don't understand estimate the time it will take. Orlando was my first trip with SA and learned the hard way to be better prepared. The Atlanta trip I f*cked two the first 5 hours I was there, another the next day, and had to cancel another because I was too beat up. I'm getting too old for this shit.

Originally Posted by FarFarAway [View Original Post]

I have a trip upcoming to Chicago and I am fishing in their sugar bowl in advance. One issue is that there are a those who portray they are looking for long term. Obviously, as a visitor, I can't too easily promise that. My approach. Some list short term in their profiles, but I am also searching specifically within the Open Relationship and Married but Looking categories, figuring that it might be appealing to them that I already have a place to meet up, something that can be hard to arrange in some situations w / guys who have a SO (like me).

Does anyone have any other indicators to a POT who would be amenable to a guy just flying into town for business?