Massage Parlor Reports

[PriscillaM]

Hey guys!

I'll be down for a while, new to this area.

Any solid KAMP or Agencies around?

Thanks!

I am unaware of Korean massage parlors, the ones we worship here are all Chinese gals.

As for agencies, there are a couple user forums down below and a couple huckleberries (tounsten, bastard chorum, bonerappetitty, et al) who are on a mission to fuck every k-girl in the la area and tell us how great they are. Be warned, on occasion the pictures are fake.

[Erikjin]

Hey guys!

I'll be down for a while, new to this area.

Any solid KAMP or Agencies around?

Thanks!

[DerekBrwn]

Hey, any mongers know of a place to get a good manzilian and HJ / BBJ. Around the westside area, been looking for a good spot for a couple weeks to no avail.

[Grimmy23]

I will not comment at the outset on you belief that a handjob provider at gold finger only works 3-4 hours of a 10-12 hour shift. Instead, and I invite grimmy to chip in, let's start with profit margins.

Apple computer has a profit margin (pre tax is all I care about) in the last full year of reporting of 29.85%. Pfizer has a margin of 30.55%. Facebook runs at 42.4%.

Now, let's try and figure out what kind of margins goldfinger has. I am going to ignore the build out costs of the space. That is a fixed cost and is sunk. The owner will either make it back or not, and it does not affect his margins. I assume he did not borrow funds from a bank to install doors with a window in it.

I am going to assume that the only significant expenses of this place are the two killers for any business, rent and labor. Unlike restaurants and retail, there are no goods being sold. The only fucken operating costs of goldfinger are the immense volume of towel laundry expense and the time and cost of sourcing those ridiculous 4.25 ounce waters.

So, now let's go back to gross profits. A girl there on a 10 hour shift has to be at least 60% occupied. So she is making the place gross 300 a day (it seems to still be 50 an hour). There are 4 girls on average a day (actually 5, but lets be conservative), open seven days a week, for gross house payment of $36 k monthly.

Now, there are tips on top, which I will simply add on to the gross by adding 120% - I know of no one tipping at the finger for an hour at 50 for less than 50. It is much more, but just for estimation purposes. So now add another 43 k a month. With four girls working at around 60% capacity, you get to that little shithole making $79 k a month gross.

I figure they pay each of the girls there 300 dollars a day, so on 4 girls, basically you pay 36 k out the door a month.

You are left with 43 k a month. Rent is probably 10 k a month. The rest of the expenses, such as towels, water, rubbing alcohol, a new washer dryer due to human semen plugging up the pipes and candy in those dishes, is another 3 k monthly.

So you are taking home 30 k a month. On 79 k gross, the profit margin is 38%. Now grimmy can step in and tell us that there are other expenses, or that the girls keep more of the tip. Who knows. But if you can find me a business that operates on a 38% margin, well fuck the iphone and the safe, effective and free vaccine, and the waste of time spent stalking pussy on IG, where do I invest?

You're pretty spot on actually. Yeah there are other expenses. I pay about $1500/ week for advertising and marketing, but these spas surely don't spend anywhere near that. I pay royalties because I'm a franchise. Maintenance costs. You'd be amazed how much shit breaks every day that you need to fix or replace. Those towel warmers that spas use? All cheap made in China pieces of shit that don't last. I replace those damn things constantly. Linen service is about $2000/ month for sheets alone (we wash our own towels in house but sheets are a gigantic pain in the ass). You're probably within a couple thousand dollars of being accurate though one way or another.

One big thing to keep in mind with "hobby" spas. For most of them, the actual owner is some dude sitting in China or Hong Kong outside the reach of US authorities, so that's where most of the money goes. The "owner" here is just a pawn recruited by the real owner in Asia. He takes whatever the cut is for himself and sends the rest overseas. If he gets busted, no biggie for the real owner. He just recruits another pawn to "own" a couple spas. There are exceptions of course, but for the most part that's how these places run. Nobody in the US is getting rich from them. That's also why AMPs are so hard to break up and a lot of cities don't even try to bust them - they just let them do their thing as long as they aren't a public nuisance.

[BigBadNut]

You sure about heavena? Went in there the other day but no one was available. The place looked.

Therapeutic legit, just like it's yelp reviews state. Seems like HE might even not be possible there.

I took a stab at this one and the found a 60 plus year old. They seemed way legit. The manager and the provider were older and no cuties in sight. Please let me know your experiences.

[Liljoeyw]

Since the demise of the Santa Monica MPS (Ginja, ocean and that granny shack) Other than the place at 118** Santa Monica, top floor at the very end with the fat Latinas, and perhaps heavena and season, it is handjob only..

You sure about heavena? Went in there the other day but no one was available. The place looked.

Therapeutic legit, just like it's yelp reviews state. Seems like HE might even not be possible there.

[PlayerN818]

I hate to up the price for everyone but she was too hot so I agreed to a hundy. Off came the top and I put my hands on those long pencil erasers. She was very hot and gave some great words of encouragement, but it was a little mechanical.

If never had a provider NOT feel mechanical after a pre-service negotiation. It's a brutal reminder I'm a wallet, and she wants to get to as many as possible.

[PlutoKiller]

[Deleted by Admin]

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[PriscillaM]

Since the demise of the Santa Monica MPS (Ginja, ocean and that granny shack) full service west of Robertson is rare. I do not count Mary at Chens or a1 or skin paradise in Santa Monica.

Other than the place at 118** Santa Monica, top floor at the very end with the fat Latinas, and perhaps heavena and season, it is handjob only.

I am guessing that there is serious difficulties finding gals who will fuck mongers and / or the owners just think that the cops coming in and finding condoms and vaginal repair kits (in Chen's case, anal repair kits) would be too incriminating.

[PriscillaM]

Oops. Messed up my math.

180/ hr.

1400/ day.

10 k / week.

525 k / year.

That's ok. Not great. But ok. They probably have very low overhead. I'm sure they're not paying taxes.

It's interesting.

I will not comment at the outset on you belief that a handjob provider at gold finger only works 3-4 hours of a 10-12 hour shift. Instead, and I invite grimmy to chip in, let's start with profit margins.

Apple computer has a profit margin (pre tax is all I care about) in the last full year of reporting of 29.85%. Pfizer has a margin of 30.55%. Facebook runs at 42.4%.

Now, let's try and figure out what kind of margins goldfinger has. I am going to ignore the build out costs of the space. That is a fixed cost and is sunk. The owner will either make it back or not, and it does not affect his margins. I assume he did not borrow funds from a bank to install doors with a window in it.

I am going to assume that the only significant expenses of this place are the two killers for any business, rent and labor. Unlike restaurants and retail, there are no goods being sold. The only fucken operating costs of goldfinger are the immense volume of towel laundry expense and the time and cost of sourcing those ridiculous 4.25 ounce waters.

So, now let's go back to gross profits. A girl there on a 10 hour shift has to be at least 60% occupied. So she is making the place gross 300 a day (it seems to still be 50 an hour). There are 4 girls on average a day (actually 5, but lets be conservative), open seven days a week, for gross house payment of $36 k monthly.

Now, there are tips on top, which I will simply add on to the gross by adding 120% - I know of no one tipping at the finger for an hour at 50 for less than 50. It is much more, but just for estimation purposes. So now add another 43 k a month. With four girls working at around 60% capacity, you get to that little shithole making $79 k a month gross.

I figure they pay each of the girls there 300 dollars a day, so on 4 girls, basically you pay 36 k out the door a month.

You are left with 43 k a month. Rent is probably 10 k a month. The rest of the expenses, such as towels, water, rubbing alcohol, a new washer dryer due to human semen plugging up the pipes and candy in those dishes, is another 3 k monthly.

So you are taking home 30 k a month. On 79 k gross, the profit margin is 38%. Now grimmy can step in and tell us that there are other expenses, or that the girls keep more of the tip. Who knows. But if you can find me a business that operates on a 38% margin, well fuck the iphone and the safe, effective and free vaccine, and the waste of time spent stalking pussy on IG, where do I invest?

[LAblu]

So decided to check out this new spot. Called ahead to make sure they could take me and was told, "three girls here now". So cruised by and decided to go through the back entrance. There was a construction worker working on something in the back so it was a little awkward but went right by him. I surprised the girl at the front desk as she was like, "where the fuck did you come from? But once I told her I had called she led me to a room and told me she'd be right back. Very attractive Asian woman. I'd say somewhere between 35 - 45, but I'm terrible at guessing with Asian women. She also looked like she had a little cosmetic surgery with her loops so it threw me off. But she had a great ass. After waiting for like 10 minutes she came in and started a really great massage. Very light brushes against the boys when she got down there but nothing overt. Then after 30 minutes someone shouted something in some Asian language and she left the room for a minute. I could here a mans voice too so I think she had to go and deal with the construction guy. She came in and apologized for leaving and says someone else will come in to finish the massage, but promised to take care of me on my next visit.

I worried that after getting an attractive girl that the replacement would be old and fat. Luckily I was wrong. In came Tiffany and she was very thin, flat stomach, and cute little bubble butt. Looked like in her 20's. She resumed the massage on my legs and got me going in a hurry. Once I stiffened up she went for it and asked me to turn over. My hands were all over her and she asked if I wanted her to take off her shirt. I said yes and she asked how much I would tip her. I told myself that I wouldn't go past. 80, but she wasn't going for it. I hate to up the price for everyone but she was too hot so I agreed to a hundy. Off came the top and I put my hands on those long pencil erasers. She was very hot and gave some great words of encouragement, but it was a little mechanical. She started pumping away and I don't last long that way. Afterward she gave me a 10 min head massage and off I went. Not bad for a first visit and I saw another (early 30's?) attractive girl on my way out. But I think I get a little more mileage from some other spots so I don't know I'll repeat. I'd love to see the girl who worked on me at first but I forgot to get her name before I left.

[PriscillaM]

Any one been to this place in marina del rey?

https://losangeles.rubratings.com/263398

[RamShackled]

Westwood boulevard is ground central for hearty persian food and even heartier handjobs.

In no particular order:

Goldfinger. The mother ship of sorts, has a sign on it that is visible from the ionosphere kind of like the luxor. Is busier than a covid testing center. There are rubmaps reviews but they are for shit. I am on a kind of odd hiatus from this place.

Oriental. This is one half block north of goldfinger, just past the persian icre cream joint, the new persian eatery, a laundry, a sushi place about as small as le bron's reading list, and next to a goodwill store. It is the very weak sister of goldfinger. It only has hags over 36.

Sun massage. Looks lame.

CEO. An abortion with a coat hanger sticking out of it. The ugliest girls in the los angeles county metropolitan statistical area.

The new place. West side of westwood, down past olympic. Never been.

Wharf. This is goldfinger west and is on wilshire just east of bundy, if you look carefully the sidewalk has skid marks where OJ took the turn to kill nicole. Run by the same owner as pre covid goldfinger. Still getting it hands wet. Very few girls on staff.

I do not know about seasons or any of the places on pico. Seasons is apparently FS, but I heard the worth thai lady boy once. There is green on pico, any place on pico is for shit.

Girls over 36 know how to work the shaft and tickle the balls. Those young girls under 36 are cute to look at but man if I don't want to grab my dick from them and finish it myself. You just stand there and look cute for me while I bust this nut.

[TempletonRat]

I am not sure if you went to the same school I did, but you must view the MP situation as a combination of economics, but at the other edge of the law. So, this is not an analysis on par of this masterpiece - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Market_for_Lemons..

First off, Westwood and its immediate environs (say from Westwood boulevard east to Bundy, from Wilshire to pico) has in my memory, more Asian handjob joints than I can recall. Obviously, there is a lot of money in that white powder. There is lots of space for rent on the westside, and landlords are extremely greedy. Yes, it is counterintuitive, but landlords, and it is an ethnic thing, do not stick their necks out for anyone. They would rather stay dark for a long time than get into a shitty lease with a shitty tenant. Reason being that if they ever need to re-fil the place and pull cash out, the shitty rent will not support a loan.

So, when a restaurant goes tits up now, the place sits vacant, and this is all aggravated by the common cold going around.

Westwood is further a troubled rental market because there is no supply of spaces. Other than the building next to the cost plus on Westwood across from the finger, and of course ignoring UCLA, you just do not see construction in Westwood. Restaurants in the village are clinically dead. Drago fucking closed and there is only one or two actual bars and grills left with liquor licenses. If you want a history lesson in the slow growth of Westwood, you can blame the shooting death of Karen Toshima in 1988, the new jack city riots (peaceful protests I mean) in 1991, and the homeowners group basically only getting fucked over by that developer guy on those condos on Wilshire and Glendon.

But there is housing demand. Certain ethnicities must live in Westwood. Westwood is very quiet and is not as heterogeneous as its kissing cousins like pico Robertson, there is just a lot less melanin. The ethnicities that are in Westwood have funds and like handjobs.

So you have lots of empty space in west wood, only MPs can afford higher rents, and it appears to me that the Asian system does not generally (yes, there are exceptions) allow for full service. The only full service places I hear of (and you can ignore chens, fucking a platypus is not fucking) are seasons and heaven, and as I said, there are possible Thai lady boy sightings.

That explains. I have to go watch the eagles game. The reason that Westwood boulevard is a mecca. More bulls hit to come.

I always wondered why there has historically been such a dearth of full-service parlors in WW, compared to WeHo and K-town. But pretty much all of them have been at least jerkoff parlors, even if the lady is old or bundled up in a sweater and jeans. I thought it had something to do with them being Chinese or Vietnamese instead of Korean.

The exceptions were few. There was an old lady who'd jerk you off on the second floor by the Penguins, and when she was gone there were some chubby, yeasty Latinas you could fuck before the building was condemned.

Also driving into The Peoples Republic of Santa Monica, there was a joint or 2 by the McDonalds that were FS. Think they're all body shops or industrial supplies stores now.

[Murrican]

Oops. Messed up my math.

180/ hr.

1400/ day.

10 k / week.

525 k / year.

That's ok. Not great. But ok. They probably have very low overhead. I'm sure they're not paying taxes.

It's interesting.

That's an interesting perspective. But let me challenge it a little.

You're saying that.

- lots of Persians own buildings and run them for maximum gain. Ok I can see that.

- lots of Persians like HJs and keep these places busy? I don't know about that. Persians are more conservative than most, on the whole.

- MPs are sufficiently profitable occupy high rent retail spaces even with intense competition. This is interesting. I never considered that and I been at this a while. I always kind of assumed these were businesses scraping by, but they're such low barriers to entry and space improvements that it doesn't matter.

What can a MP possibly make? I assume the girls keep the tips, so call it 60/ hr per customer. Maybe 3 customers / hr for 8 hours / day (I know they're open longer, but they probably have fewer customers in the mornings and odd times, so just rounding). So that's 10 k / day. That's 3. 6 mm / year. That's.actually not bad. Why are they so awfully appointed then?!