Massage Parlor Reports

[Murrican]

Thanks for sharing.

As a student of commerce, I'm intrigued by the concentration of rubbie tuggies on ww blvd. An economist would conclude that to have such supply, you must have sufficient demand. But with such demand, you should see an attendant increase in quality to differentiate. An easy analogy is Persian food on WW blvd. You see far better Persian food than you would in Santa Monica just because the competition for soltani supremacy is so fierce when your nearest competitor can hear you cough.

And yet, ww has not turned into West Hollywood. For some reason. I don't know why, but there is definitely a reason. Like if someone did an expose, they'd find it. Maybe they're all run by one family or syndicate with the same talent circle. Maybe the average age of customers is higher here so the average age of providers is accordingly higher. There's definitely something going on.

Westwood boulevard is ground central for hearty persian food and even heartier handjobs.

In no particular order:

Goldfinger. The mother ship of sorts, has a sign on it that is visible from the ionosphere kind of like the luxor. Is busier than a covid testing center. There are rubmaps reviews but they are for shit. I am on a kind of odd hiatus from this place.

Oriental. This is one half block north of goldfinger, just past the persian icre cream joint, the new persian eatery, a laundry, a sushi place about as small as le bron's reading list, and next to a goodwill store. It is the very weak sister of goldfinger. It only has hags over 36.

Sun massage. Looks lame.

CEO. An abortion with a coat hanger sticking out of it. The ugliest girls in the los angeles county metropolitan statistical area.

The new place. West side of westwood, down past olympic. Never been.

Wharf. This is goldfinger west and is on wilshire just east of bundy, if you look carefully the sidewalk has skid marks where OJ took the turn to kill nicole. Run by the same owner as pre covid goldfinger. Still getting it hands wet. Very few girls on staff.

I do not know about seasons or any of the places on pico. Seasons is apparently FS, but I heard the worth thai lady boy once. There is green on pico, any place on pico is for shit.

[PriscillaM]

Westwood boulevard is ground central for hearty persian food and even heartier handjobs.

In no particular order:

Goldfinger. The mother ship of sorts, has a sign on it that is visible from the ionosphere kind of like the luxor. Is busier than a covid testing center. There are rubmaps reviews but they are for shit. I am on a kind of odd hiatus from this place.

Oriental. This is one half block north of goldfinger, just past the persian icre cream joint, the new persian eatery, a laundry, a sushi place about as small as le bron's reading list, and next to a goodwill store. It is the very weak sister of goldfinger. It only has hags over 36.

Sun massage. Looks lame.

CEO. An abortion with a coat hanger sticking out of it. The ugliest girls in the los angeles county metropolitan statistical area.

The new place. West side of westwood, down past olympic. Never been.

Wharf. This is goldfinger west and is on wilshire just east of bundy, if you look carefully the sidewalk has skid marks where OJ took the turn to kill nicole. Run by the same owner as pre covid goldfinger. Still getting it hands wet. Very few girls on staff.

I do not know about seasons or any of the places on pico. Seasons is apparently FS, but I heard the worth thai lady boy once. There is green on pico, any place on pico is for shit.

[Murrican]

There seem like there are 5 or more tug shops on Westwood. I've never checked them out because I just have my go-to spots. But I always wonder about them. They definitely don't look legit. But I can't find anything on them here or on RM. These are places like ceo therapy, sun massage, and a few others I can't remember the names of. One just opened literally 2 doors down from soul to sole foot massage near Olympic, so you know it's got to be a tug tienda. I mean who opens a massage parlor right next to a massage parlor?

Anyone know anything about this proliferation of late on the boulevard? Anything good or just more hag shackery? I'd take one for the team but my local provider is counting on me to keep them in business and I'm only 2 punches away from a freebie on my loyal customer card.

[Murrican]

Why not try it out and see what happens? If she is a borderline talent, she will understand exactly what it means. It will not be the first time she has heard it, unless it is her first day!

I always wonder if the old hags resent the younger workers when they get asked for. Like there has to be some residual resentment right?

This should be a Netflix show. I'd watch it.

[Liljoeyw]

New to LA and recently visited two places on the west side. Did half hour at Dynasty on Pico and said yes to four hands to try something new. Was fun even if not the best massage. Nice HE with some touchy feely under both tops. Also tried Oriental on Westwood. Much hotter mid 40's gal in yoga pants. Satisfying HE but pretty steep tip at. 8 for half hour visit.

With so many other places around Westwood it's hard to decide what to try next. I walked into Pico spa on pico and met a hot Thai receptionist but they we busy. Worth trying again? What about Aroma Thai or Heavena? TIA.

[HexenDuction]

Why not try it out and see what happens? If she is a borderline talent, she will understand exactly what it means. It will not be the first time she has heard it, unless it is her first day!

I don't know. Not trying to be pedantic but that's really unspecific language.

Is new girl the one who just started there?

Or the one who is new to the profession?

Or do we mean "just someone that's not you?

Or a girl who newly became a "girl" (Thai places).

Too much language distortion in brevity. I've got to stick with "you're not my type. Who else you got back there?

[Murrican]

Just say, "new girl"!

I don't know. Not trying to be pedantic but that's really unspecific language.

Is new girl the one who just started there?

Or the one who is new to the profession?

Or do we mean "just someone that's not you?

Or a girl who newly became a "girl" (Thai places).

Too much language distortion in brevity. I've got to stick with "you're not my type. Who else you got back there?

[HexenDuction]

Just say, "new girl"!

It's awkward and sucks to say "you're not my type, is there someone else?"

[FishyHunter]

Do any of you guys know where Amy from LA Flower is at now.

Lilly keeps saying Amy is working there but every time I show up, she has a different Amy to sell me to try the new Amy.

I remember Amy saying she had another gig in SFV. Off Sepulveda or something like that. Her English is not the greatest so she couldn't tell me the exact name and location.

TIA.

Fish.

[PriscillaM]

Well I added LA to my yearly January Vegas trip. I obviously know to RTFF but I need to Uber and I have a stiff, ummm, back LOL. Recommendations for young slim busty provider who also give a good backrub near Hollywood and Highland? I mean I know about Koreatown which isn't far. I will definitely share my experiences here and am going to be active on the sugar forum and strip club forum as well! Private messages are obviously fine and if you review my post history it's clear I'm not a newbie. Thanks so much.

Strip clubs went out of style with the cold / flu. It is all ball bearings now. If you have the 260 and want some love from a girl with some extra weight, try.

https://templeofbliss.com/therapists/guinevere/

Or if you want a girl with major league golden pussy syndrome and a loser boyfriend for the ages but a nice rack.

https://templeofbliss.com/therapists/ishtar-mera/

[Dr StrangeLust]

Well I added LA to my yearly January Vegas trip. I obviously know to RTFF but I need to Uber and I have a stiff, ummm, back LOL. Recommendations for young slim busty provider who also give a good backrub near Hollywood and Highland? I mean I know about Koreatown which isn't far. I will definitely share my experiences here and am going to be active on the sugar forum and strip club forum as well! Private messages are obviously fine and if you review my post history it's clear I'm not a newbie. Thanks so much.

[Murrican]

The newb who asked the original question is getting a certificate of completion after this course.

Let me add a few more:

RM is like a broken compass. It's kind of directionally right, but leads you astray like 40 pct of the time. Save your money.

Don't ask for service details over the phone. You'll sound like an idiot.

Don't, please don't, be that guy who ends his reviews with "she's a keeper, guys, take good care of her. " Or explains how "she was really into it, or she's an amazing actor. " She had her hand in a circular shape an hour ago, and she will in 20 minutes. And she's good at acting. Know your place.

The bathroom is for emergencies only. Nobody wants you vacating your bowels there.

It's awkward and sucks to say "you're not my type, is there someone else?" You will learn those words are your friends and you'll get more comfortable saying it. Learn to be comfortable saying it. Walk out and you'll be happy you did.

If you have a kink (whatever. You like toes, you want her to call you the pope while she strokes you) pay more. That's just courtesy. The normal rate is for the normal service. Pay more for more and don't make her ask for it.

If she insists on stopping the service so you pay now, right now, never see her again. That's bad manners and should not be tolerated.

Don't leave short water bottles and Chinese candy in your car. It invites questions.

Take Notes fellas -I think this is great advice -except for carrying over $500 $ most of us don't have that to carry around. I know I don't.

[HexenDuction]

I don't really remember that as a problem. Probably because I usually went early on Monday morning! Or. If I became a regular, the lady would slip me in an hour before normal business hours. Unless all the girls are busy bangin' away, the free agent can handle the door. And, a break in the action can lead to more BBBJ to get things rolling again!

Yeah. But shops with no MMS are also the ones where your provider is always interrupting your massage to answer the phone or deal with a customer in the lobby. Every time you hear the motion activated bells up front you know you're going to be sitting in the room awkwardly for like 2-3 minutes.

[Fruit Cake]

1. never accept the water. Agreed.

2. Always get naked. I almost entirely agree, I think once in a while, most recently when I fucked that rodtong girl, I kept my boxers on. If you are squeamish and it is a new place, you might not want to expose your fanny.

3. Don't even put the towel over yourself. This I violently disagree with. These places pay good money for laundry services and just lying naked face up is a little forward. I have no problem with having the towel on. If you by accident got a girl who is legit sort of. Her seeing your crack upon entry may be a turn off. A little mystery please.

4. Lie face down. (Face up looks like you're either trying to hard, or entrapment.). I violently agree. I have been to goldfinger a million times. Lying face up means you have a sex addiction problem.

5. Always ask for 30 minutes the first time. Ambivalent about this one, kind of like watching le bron drive off a cliff in my brand new mercedes. I do not think that getting fucked out of an extra 20-40 is a big deal, but if you would be pissed having paid for an hour for no monkey love, then by all means, go for the 30 the first time. For me, it is not remotely possible anymore for me to get off in 30 minutes.

6. If she asks, hard, medium or light: Always light. Maybe it is my upbringing, but I say medium. If it is too hard, then I send a cautionary memo. Asking for soft upfront, unless you know the girl, I think, is kind of degen.

7. If she asks, "What do you want?" it's a full service place. Are we in 2003 here? I have not been asked what I want in the last 10 years. Any girl who asks that should be immediately take a phoenix university course in sex work. She has to put her hand on your cock. Then she can say. What do you want. But that is not indicative that it is full service. I have not been asked that question without a hand on my cock in a decade.

8. Don't go to a full service place and ask for a handy. They want to make 100+ per customer, and you are wasting their time, so they will rush you. I agree with this and it is the type of precise analysis that I desire. If you go to 8155 and get only a handjob, you are probably homosexual.

Take Notes fellas -I think this is great advice -except for carrying over $500 $ most of us don't have that to carry around. I know I don't.

[PriscillaM]

1. never accept the water. Agreed.

2. Always get naked. I almost entirely agree, I think once in a while, most recently when I fucked that rodtong girl, I kept my boxers on. If you are squeamish and it is a new place, you might not want to expose your fanny.

3. Don't even put the towel over yourself. This I violently disagree with. These places pay good money for laundry services and just lying naked face up is a little forward. I have no problem with having the towel on. If you by accident got a girl who is legit sort of. Her seeing your crack upon entry may be a turn off. A little mystery please.

4. Lie face down. (Face up looks like you're either trying to hard, or entrapment.). I violently agree. I have been to goldfinger a million times. Lying face up means you have a sex addiction problem.

5. Always ask for 30 minutes the first time. Ambivalent about this one, kind of like watching le bron drive off a cliff in my brand new mercedes. I do not think that getting fucked out of an extra 20-40 is a big deal, but if you would be pissed having paid for an hour for no monkey love, then by all means, go for the 30 the first time. For me, it is not remotely possible anymore for me to get off in 30 minutes.

6. If she asks, hard, medium or light: Always light. Maybe it is my upbringing, but I say medium. If it is too hard, then I send a cautionary memo. Asking for soft upfront, unless you know the girl, I think, is kind of degen.

7. If she asks, "What do you want?" it's a full service place. Are we in 2003 here? I have not been asked what I want in the last 10 years. Any girl who asks that should be immediately take a phoenix university course in sex work. She has to put her hand on your cock. Then she can say. What do you want. But that is not indicative that it is full service. I have not been asked that question without a hand on my cock in a decade.

8. Don't go to a full service place and ask for a handy. They want to make 100+ per customer, and you are wasting their time, so they will rush you. I agree with this and it is the type of precise analysis that I desire. If you go to 8155 and get only a handjob, you are probably homosexual.

9. If you leave your hands over the edge of the table, and she doesn't avoid them, but brushes against them, you will get at least an HJ. If she picks up your arm and moves it, she doesn't trust you yet. Yes, but you must master the fine art of always grabbing as they get close. It is part of the social contract.

10. Bring exact change. Meh, you can go full goy on this and bring an odd amount. I get change at goldfinger. But I make so much money at von's due to overtime because of this nasty cold going around that it does not matter to me.

11. This has changed recently, but in the SFV, it used to be that places that charged 40 for 30 were HE places. Places that charged 50 for 30 were FS places. However, there are a lot of FS places in SGV that charge 30 for 30. Since Covid, this has all gone wacky. Your dollar figures sound like the kind of doggerel from that poet they are putting on the quarter. The door fee has very little to do with the output, save for 8155 which charges wacky numbers to get in and fuck their stable.

12. Don't haggle too much. If a girl says the expected tip is 160, and you work her down to 100, do you really think you are going to get good service? You don't have to give the first number requested, but if you do, you are more likely to get the service you expect. Unless, the request is outrageous. Then she is just trying to squeeze you, and will take you for a rube. I agree that negotiation is worth it, but be aristotelian about it and gravitate to the mean. If she says 160 and you say 100 and she counters at 140, that is the end.

13. Always take the shower, when offered one. If you go to a place where showers are not offered, shower before going if you can. You will get better service. I really find this to be questionable advice. Some of these places have the hygiene of a covid19 ward in aleppo. I noticed that goldfinger has a shower, and it looks b plus clean, but unless I am going to get a BBBBBBJ, no reason for the waste of water. A table shower is something different entirely. That is mandatory and compulsive if offered.

14. Be friendly. Smile to mamasan and your provider. Don't be grumpy, stressed and weirded out. They get that all day. Put out good vibes, and you will get good service. If you act like a nervous teenager about to lose his virginity on meth, do you think they will warm up to you? OK. A smile and how are you is fine, but asking about the grandkids and shit at goldfinger really gets on my nerves when I hear it.

15. Don't walk into an AMP broke, or with the exact amount of change. Take a little extra, for those special situations when something magic happens and you wish you had a few extra bucks. I used to walk into an AMP with exactly $80. That's stupid. Always have an extra 100, even if you hide it in your shoe. Any man who does not have at least 500 dollars on him in cash at any time is a useless millennial. I have several credit cards I never use that probably have like 50 k limits. Total nonsense. I always, always, carry at least 1 k in 20's and 50's (never hundreds, you get looked at funny).