Massage Parlor Reports

**Chiguyxxx** · 11-24-21 23:14

Ok so after a complete and utter waste of time trying to go to one of the Asian Apartments based on another poster's pic I ended up going over to BHC on Archer. Never been. Honestly never been to most (all?) of the Archer spas. Damn! There's a lot of them. I tend to go to the ones on Grand and Chicago, but I was in the neighborhood and some of the posts sounded promising. I got there and got a young, but not in great shape girl. Her English was TERRIBLE. Like truly the hands down worst of any MP girl I've seen. I guess I'm spoiled by the English spoken at Belmont, Grand, West River and Ozone (or Oki Doki or almost anywhere else on the North side). I told her an hour massage as I actually wanted a massage and she was not really doing it for me in terms of extras. She started a halfway decent rub on my back and shoulders for a few minutes. I told her my shoulder was bothering me and she seemed to understand and rubbed that for a bit. Then flip. This is like maybe 10 minutes tops. Probably less. And out come the hand signals for L2 and L3. Not interested in any of that but I figured if I couldn't get a good massage I might as well just get a HE. Well the begging for money and / or upgrading to L2/ L3 was relentless. She wanted to get naked and do the HE for $80. I'm like no thanks $40 is my offer. She kept begging and eventually I broke down and gave her $50. The HE was okay but she kept watching the video monitor / CCTVs watching the street most of the time. Very off putting. And she was chewing gum the loudest I have heard since grade school. Like seriously loud. She did clean me up and was very affectionate as I left giving me a big hug and kiss on the cheek. Except for the loud gum chewing and lack of English she seemed nice enough but she just wasn't that attractive. Oh well. Lesson learned. I have no idea what her name is / was as I didn't ask, didn't care and won't be back. Rather spend a little bit more and get an actual massage from a nicer looking chick at West River or Ozone. If the girls at Grand weren't so gung ho to get $100 for a topless HJ I'd go back there, but that's just too much.

**Red6666** · 11-24-21 20:01

Stopped by Angel Spa a few days ago and got Lucky. She is a taller Chinese woman (maybe 5' 6") with small B-cups and a jiggly, baby-fat stomach. I'd say she is 40 ish. Definitely not a granny but not young either. She wore a mask but took it off for part of the service. While her body is not great, I think she has a pretty face. She looked great in her red dress before we started.

Standard 1. 6 for covered BJ and FS. Decent service but still hoping to find a place on the North side where the women are younger. I had a satisfying time and may repeat.

https://chicago.rubratings.com/253727

**IMissCutler** · 11-24-21 18:28

Originally Posted by RichL1234 [View Original Post]

Anyone try this spot:

https://chicago.rubratings.com/249347

Is it the same setup that used to be a little further west?

I dropped in and met the girl here on a recommendation from a buddy that she had huge tits. She had atleast a DD and they were bouncing and natural when she walked. She said she was busy and to wait in the room. I waited 5 minutes and then left. She didn't seem the friendliest and this place reminded me of the lotus spa on diversey where I had a bad experience with a different busty girl. Not sure how service is but I don't think I'll be back even though I love big naturals. If anyone has been and had a good experience maybe I will try it.

**CanadianGuy** · 11-24-21 15:24

Anyone try this? https://chicago.rubratings.com/124214 or https://chicago.rubratings.com/138377.

The two ads are run by the same person I guess but with different numbers. Seems like they have a different girl every day.

**JimiiJones** · 11-24-21 14:54

Originally Posted by RichL1234 [View Original Post]

Anyone try this spot:

https://chicago.rubratings.com/249347

Is it the same setup that used to be a little further west?

I tried there once as a walk in and got a pretty old Mt with mechanical FS, no GFE on menu not that I would of really wanted. Basic roaming no fip looks 4/10 and that's being generous on my list of not returning rather hit any of other spots that are west. Believe they associated with the Irving park spa that looks closed and has old massage Pic in window they better there.

**Member #6913** · 11-24-21 13:23

I think she works with Luna, this girl didn't know a lick of English. 150% not her in the pictures. She did have huge cans but boy was that underwhelming, she was average at best in looks and performance was average at best too. 2 benjis for 30 minutes 1 benji for CBJ / Russian. Place is clean and easy to reach, but yeah, probably only in a pinch again.

https://chicago.rubratings.com/127994

**CanadianGuy** · 11-24-21 02:05

Originally Posted by Mischif420 [View Original Post]

I've been looking for the same thing. Nylah was a fun time during lunch but haven't been able to get a hold of her any more. Not sure if she took a break or just stopped completely. I'll let you know if I end up finding something worth mentioning. Let me know if you come across anything as well.

I need some suggestions in the city too. Loop / West Loop, Streeterville.

I should have read reviews before I went for Victoria Swallows https://chicago.rubratings.com/169943 200 for a massage. Her pictures are a few years old. She's also had breast reduction, plus without them nipples sticking out, it's really no fun to play with them. LOL.

A very half-assed massage with lotion. On the flip, more lotion. And some more. And then some unenthusiastic L2. At the 30 min mark, kept asking me to cum cause she said she was falling asleep (WTF? I wasn't close yet but she kept pushing me to cum and all that fake dirty talk and moans just turned me off. Anyway, I came so I could just get out.

In the end, she had the audacity to ask for a tip LOL.

The only positive was that the place was clean. Everything else was a damper.

**Mischif420** · 11-23-21 20:34

Originally Posted by MrmVanHouten [View Original Post]

Try Luna. At Adam's and Wells. Private apartment. Pretty easy set up. She's not as fit as Nylah, but is attractive (pics are real I believe) and seems to offer a bit more too. Not sure about FS as didn't go there. Might be a little expensive but for convenience it was worth it IMO.

https://chicago.rubratings.com/122316

Thanks man. I'll have to check her out. Looks pretty hot. I'll report back if I do. Thanks again.

**Mischif420** · 11-23-21 20:26

Originally Posted by SkiBum925 [View Original Post]

She was fun but kinda weird. I think she quit the biz entirely.

Ah ok. Yeah I figured that. She was different for sure but after a few visits she pretty much let me do anything except FS which is why I visited her frequently plus the extremely low donation.

**Jinurso** · 11-23-21 15:20

Originally Posted by BuckSin6 [View Original Post]

When you arrive there, how does it work? Are you not able to see the girls when you get there and pick one? What if you make an appt with one of them but don't like what you see, can you ask for someone else? I'll be coming there this weekend.

Trying to decide on who to see, thinking about Jessica, Zara, Bella? Who's better Zara or Bella?

How's Laura and Nicol? Do they look as good as pics? Or Jessica better?

It's not a traditional parlor. So you don't just go in. You have to go to their website at Chicagolandbodyrubs.com and make an appointment with a girl there. If you get there and you don't like what you see with your girl, you could see if one of the other girls there is free instead. But they may not be available since everything is by appointment and most girls are either in an appointment or getting ready for one.

Of the girls you named, Nicol is the oldest and maybe the least attractive. The picture isn't of her at all. But she has a very good menu, although she'll try to for $300 for GFE CFS. Usually she'll negotiate down.

Jessica is the second oldest but has the best menu, with full GFE ranging from $100-$200 depending on how much she likes you. She's my personal favorite. The pics are accurate but she weight cycles a lot. She ranges from 120-150 lbs.

Zara is a board favorite. She's all covered but will do almost anything you want as long as it doesn't involve swapping bodily fluids. She's also probably the hottest girl on the roster (along with Mila).

Bella is a thick girl, bordering on pudgy, but she's fun, passionate and a good GFE experience at a reasonable $100. She's reasonably young too, sub-30.

Zara vs. Bella is a question of what's more important to you. Bella has better service but Zara is MUCH better looking.

Not so familiar with Laura.

**BA4114** · 11-23-21 14:50

Originally Posted by SkiBum925 [View Original Post]

Any recommendations with incall in the loop proper? I enjoy running out for a lunch appointment now and then, and being back in the office sometimes near OHare or the CLM locations are just not do-able. I used to skip out, see Nylah down the block, and be back within 45 min. Any suggestions to fill that niche?

Check out Natural Elements Therapy. Great, spa caliber massage with HE. Middle-aged, pleasant masseuse. Haven't seen her since before COVID, so not sure of current intel on her.

**Moejoo** · 11-23-21 13:29

Originally Posted by BuckSin6 [View Original Post]

When you arrive there, how does it work? Are you not able to see the girls when you get there and pick one? What if you make an appt with one of them but don't like what you see, can you ask for someone else? I'll be coming there this weekend.

Trying to decide on who to see, thinking about Jessica, Zara, Bella? Who's better Zara or Bella?

How's Laura and Nicol? Do they look as good as pics? Or Jessica better?

Few to none of the photos are actually of the girl or depict her actual shape. You reserve a girl and then meet at the time you picked, I have never tried to switch but how could anyone predict who else may be available or if their date is only 5 minutes away. I am kind of soured on the place, tired of the girl never matching the pictures. Every monger here has their own tastes so one guys perfect girl will have another monger running away. They have no incentive to post up real pictures as they seem to be find with the fakes. I am confused by the trend of guys picking an agency and then picking the girl, seems kind of backwards to me.

**RichL1234** · 11-23-21 13:12

Anyone try this spot:

https://chicago.rubratings.com/249347

Is it the same setup that used to be a little further west?

**MrmVanHouten** · 11-23-21 12:44

Originally Posted by Mischif420 [View Original Post]

I've been looking for the same thing. Nylah was a fun time during lunch but haven't been able to get a hold of her any more. Not sure if she took a break or just stopped completely. I'll let you know if I end up finding something worth mentioning. Let me know if you come across anything as well.

Try Luna. At Adam's and Wells. Private apartment. Pretty easy set up. She's not as fit as Nylah, but is attractive (pics are real I believe) and seems to offer a bit more too. Not sure about FS as didn't go there. Might be a little expensive but for convenience it was worth it IMO.

https://chicago.rubratings.com/122316

**SkiBum925** · 11-23-21 11:40

Originally Posted by Mischif420 [View Original Post]

I've been looking for the same thing. Nylah was a fun time during lunch but haven't been able to get a hold of her any more. Not sure if she took a break or just stopped completely. I'll let you know if I end up finding something worth mentioning. Let me know if you come across anything as well.

She was fun but kinda weird. I think she quit the biz entirely.