What I learned as a Monger for the past 2 years. Good read for Newbies

[Jinurso]

I would call it a non traditional way of meeting girls. I've dated and even have one I've known since the early 1990's. And still stay in contact with to this day. Playing in this game doesn't neccesarily prevent you from meeting girls the traditional way. We just get the 1st place trophy first before the race begins.

I don't consider myself broken. Unconventional, maybe. But not broken. I see sex as a hobby, as recreation, as a passion. Like bowling or skydiving or knitting. Bowling, skydiving and knitting aren't seen as the sign of being broken, so I don't see why sexual variety as a hobby is seen as being broken.

Like any hobby if you let it overtake you at the expense of the rest of your life, then that's a different story. But that's not the hobby that's the problem, it's the addiction to it. That's true whether your hobby is video games, eating out, smoking weed, traveling around, etc. If it becomes an addiction, the addiction is the problem.

There are guys here who have been married for decades and are pretty happily married. They just enjoy sexual variety, and that's impossible with just one person. Are they really "broken"? I don't think so.

[Jinurso]

While I don't want to debate you on statistics, even though I disagree with your statements especially given this is your very first post, and somehow your trying to come in like an expert on the topic. The main point still stands even by your own standards, this hobby is risky. 95% effective, still means there's a 5% chance you will have bad luck and get infected. If you aren't willing to bet your health or possibly life altering life on that 5% then I say don't risk it. Barebacking is simply playing with fire, I don't understand how you have that categorized as low risk. Herpes 1 and 2 is the most common STD and it is not Curable, sure manageable with drugs but cold sores your mouth are going to be a ***** to explain to anybody your dating seriously.

I was going to say that was a hell of a first post. Sure beats the usual ISO first posts most mongers have.

Anyway, is there really a that much of a stigma with cold sores? I've dated plenty of women who occasionally have them and I can't say I've ever thought twice about it. It seems like half the people I meet have them. It's as embarrassing as getting a zit.

[AngelBravo]

Just want to call out the original posters understanding of STD's is way off. You can't get an STD from pussy juice on your bare skin. Ridiculous. Going to provide some better context, not to state there isn't risk, but better frame it.

Oral sex is fairly low risk (note, very low, but not no risk), your main risk is Gonorrhea, which would be passed to you via an infected throat. That person isn't automatically infected if they blow a dude with gonorrhea. The throat is a hostile place to stds (hence the sex part).

The second even lower is chlamydia, which was only recently discovered to be able to survive in the throat. For men, gonorrhea is typically symptomatic (pus / burning). Chlamydia maybe less obvious (but rarer).

Both are easily cured with antibiotics. You can test for these 3-5 days after exposure. For this reason, a lot of high end pros BBBJ no problem. It's rare and not that risky.

You could argue herpes (HSV1) mouth to junk transmission is possible, but it's not common and majority of people have hsv1. Avoid getting blow jobs from people with cold sores.

Condoms for oral basically eliminates any risk.

If you are using a condom for sex, your only real risk is HSV2 (herpes) and Syphilis.

HsV transmission requires skin to skin contact for an extended period of time (grazing someone isn't going to make your dick fall off). People can shed the virus when they are not having an outbreak. Because condoms don't cover all skin, there is a risk, but even in studies of couples where 1 person had herp, the risk or transmission with a condom was pretty low. Statistically it's hard to say who has herp, but it's not that many people (<20). If you are going for higher end sex workers, it's probably in single percentages based on demographics.

Now if you are getting syphilis, then you are sleeping with people that sleep with men, who likely sleep with other men. It's just not common in heterosexual demographics.

Long story short, if you BBBJ and CFS you probably are low risk (not no risk), but if a pussy leaks out on your junk, don't run to the rest room like an asshole freaking out. If it worked like that, we'd all have stds.

Barebacking an Aamp girl or streetwalker that is high volume probably puts you at moderate risk, if you do it frequently, you are high risk for everything, probably including aids. Barebacking a $2 k escort is probably pretty lower risk (not no risk). Anal barebacking a crackhead = dick probably going to fall off.

Determine your risk profile, understand the consequences, get tested frequently.

Chlmydia, Gonorrhea, syphilis = curable.

AIDS, herpes 1, herpes 2 = incurable but managed with drugs.

Not covering hepatitis but can be a risk.

Also the prices on pros are way off. 500-800 is mid tier, I'd you go higher than that, the quality and risk is a lot more. Lots of whining on this forum on the cost of sex, but you aren't paying those women for their vagina, you are laying them for the lower risk profile they provide.

While I don't want to debate you on statistics, even though I disagree with your statements especially given this is your very first post, and somehow your trying to come in like an expert on the topic. The main point still stands even by your own standards, this hobby is risky. 95% effective, still means there's a 5% chance you will have bad luck and get infected. If you aren't willing to bet your health or possibly life altering life on that 5% then I say don't risk it. Barebacking is simply playing with fire, I don't understand how you have that categorized as low risk. Herpes 1 and 2 is the most common STD and it is not Curable, sure manageable with drugs but cold sores your mouth are going to be a ***** to explain to anybody your dating seriously.

[Ixmeofne]

I'm not sure why you've put AMPs where you have. I suppose if you find one that has the girl (s) you like, let's you choose that / those girls, and the girl (s) actually do what you want, then maybe. But I don't see a lot of those posts here. I see a lot of posts here about guys getting *assigned* grannies, very limited menus, etc. Of course, I may be missing the good ones, because after a few pages of the bad ones, I pretty much stopped reading that thread, ever.

With your reasoning, AMPs and MPs could easily fall into the where SW are because the quality isn't always guaranteed. It's almost like in any venue, you can really only be in 2 of the 3 circles, wherever they've overlapped for you. Consider that a lucky thing.

[Rocky22]

Just want to call out the original posters understanding of STD's is way off. You can't get an STD from pussy juice on your bare skin. Ridiculous. Going to provide some better context, not to state there isn't risk, but better frame it.

Oral sex is fairly low risk (note, very low, but not no risk), your main risk is Gonorrhea, which would be passed to you via an infected throat. That person isn't automatically infected if they blow a dude with gonorrhea. The throat is a hostile place to stds (hence the sex part).

The second even lower is chlamydia, which was only recently discovered to be able to survive in the throat. For men, gonorrhea is typically symptomatic (pus / burning). Chlamydia maybe less obvious (but rarer).

Both are easily cured with antibiotics. You can test for these 3-5 days after exposure. For this reason, a lot of high end pros BBBJ no problem. It's rare and not that risky.

You could argue herpes (HSV1) mouth to junk transmission is possible, but it's not common and majority of people have hsv1. Avoid getting blow jobs from people with cold sores.

Condoms for oral basically eliminates any risk.

If you are using a condom for sex, your only real risk is HSV2 (herpes) and Syphilis.

HsV transmission requires skin to skin contact for an extended period of time (grazing someone isn't going to make your dick fall off). People can shed the virus when they are not having an outbreak. Because condoms don't cover all skin, there is a risk, but even in studies of couples where 1 person had herp, the risk or transmission with a condom was pretty low. Statistically it's hard to say who has herp, but it's not that many people (<20). If you are going for higher end sex workers, it's probably in single percentages based on demographics.

Now if you are getting syphilis, then you are sleeping with people that sleep with men, who likely sleep with other men. It's just not common in heterosexual demographics.

Long story short, if you BBBJ and CFS you probably are low risk (not no risk), but if a pussy leaks out on your junk, don't run to the rest room like an asshole freaking out. If it worked like that, we'd all have stds.

Barebacking an Aamp girl or streetwalker that is high volume probably puts you at moderate risk, if you do it frequently, you are high risk for everything, probably including aids. Barebacking a $2 k escort is probably pretty lower risk (not no risk). Anal barebacking a crackhead = dick probably going to fall off.

Determine your risk profile, understand the consequences, get tested frequently.

Chlmydia, Gonorrhea, syphilis = curable.

AIDS, herpes 1, herpes 2 = incurable but managed with drugs.

Not covering hepatitis but can be a risk.

Also the prices on pros are way off. 500-800 is mid tier, I'd you go higher than that, the quality and risk is a lot more. Lots of whining on this forum on the cost of sex, but you aren't paying those women for their vagina, you are laying them for the lower risk profile they provide.

[FafaFooey]

Thank you for this insight, this is a very overlooked aspect of this hobby. I truly believe if you are single and monger, you will always be single for being in this hobby will slowly decay you mentally. This is not how relationships should be, and as much as we like to think that only the girls are sad stories and broken; the fact that we are visiting these girls is telling us that we have things broken in ourselves as well. I'm well aware of my issues, and am working to solve them, but one thing I'm certain of is I've already limited my mongering to just L1, and shortly I won't partake at all. I know what it can do to you in the long run and that's just not where I want to be for my life. Fact is, if you keep spending time with sob storied, troubled women, then don't expect to find permanent happiness in these places.

Hopefully you're not as consumed with the dark side of the hobby as this sounds. If so, you should definitely find ways to withdraw yourself from it. I try to take a less negative view and think there are ways it can actually be a part of an otherwise healthy life. If you're young and single, it can give some instant gratification and excitement that can sometimes be hard to find in regular dating, and keep you from rushing into bad long-term relationships just for the promise of regular release. It might be a cliche, but I think having a secret outlet to get some urges taken care of does sometimes save long-term relationships or even marriages. And yes, while many of the women are damaged goods, sometimes the funds and companionship from our side does make their lives a little better, at least for a short time. I'm far from naive enough to think that its not usually just transactional and the money rarely goes for something good, but I know for a fact that there's been a few exceptions where a girl's situation would have been worse if I hadn't seen her and have heard several times that being treated warmly and being listened to made at least a little difference in their spirits. So without being 'captain save a ho', you can sometimes walk away from a visit feeling like you left things a little better than you found them, rather than feeling guilty or dirty.

Obviously there are slippery slopes we sometimes grapple with. So yes, if doing this has become your only source of intimacy or you're chasing bigger and bigger thrills at greater expense and risk, then you need to find a way to get away from it.

[Tela1980]

Good post. The other negative aspect is when the hobby becomes a sexual addiction.

"One thing you can't hide is when your crippled inside".

So true, the addiction is REAL. Ten years ago when things were wide open I would see at LEAST one new girl a week. However, I realized 3/4 years ago that this lifestyle was no longer productive for ME. I am now content to see one provider a month tops and still hold on hope for a REAL relationship. All part of the journey.

[Ron M]

I would call it a non traditional way of meeting girls. I've dated and even have one I've known since the early 1990's. And still stay in contact with to this day. Playing in this game doesn't neccesarily prevent you from meeting girls the traditional way. We just get the 1st place trophy first before the race begins.

[Ron M]

As we travel on this mongering highway everyone has their favorite exit. Just go with what you're comfortable doing and stay on that road. What's right with one guy may not be right with another.

[AngelBravo]

Good post. The other negative aspect is when the hobby becomes a sexual addiction.

"One thing you can't hide is when your crippled inside".

Thank you for this insight, this is a very overlooked aspect of this hobby. I truly believe if you are single and monger, you will always be single for being in this hobby will slowly decay you mentally. This is not how relationships should be, and as much as we like to think that only the girls are sad stories and broken; the fact that we are visiting these girls is telling us that we have things broken in ourselves as well. I'm well aware of my issues, and am working to solve them, but one thing I'm certain of is I've already limited my mongering to just L1, and shortly I won't partake at all. I know what it can do to you in the long run and that's just not where I want to be for my life. Fact is, if you keep spending time with sob storied, troubled women, then don't expect to find permanent happiness in these places.

[George Stark]

Many options for sure. Sometimes you got to pick what's right for you. What do you guys think of this illustration?

I'm not sure why you've put AMPs where you have. I suppose if you find one that has the girl (s) you like, let's you choose that / those girls, and the girl (s) actually do what you want, then maybe. But I don't see a lot of those posts here. I see a lot of posts here about guys getting *assigned* grannies, very limited menus, etc. Of course, I may be missing the good ones, because after a few pages of the bad ones, I pretty much stopped reading that thread, ever.

[Ixmeofne]

Thanks for both of your input.

There is a granularity to all services in the hobby. So I suppose its just a matter of finding what you personally enjoy.

What people consider valuable in the hobby seems to vary pretty widely. I see glowing reviews for providers I thought were just okay, too expensive, or generally unappealing. But hey, everyone likes what they like, so there really isn't a wrong answer.

The diagram sets up a good list of categories and characteristics for newcomers to try and find their niche.

Very true. The key to the diagram is knowing what you desire and weigh in making choice.

It's not to say you can't find a quality SW or an Indy who can be convenient. By the same token, it's hard to ascribe a value to FWB since that typically isn't in the equation. All three rings exist in the giant ring of RISK. IMO SB arrangements is the wild west and not applicable here since it doesn't conform.

[SideTalker]

Great thread.

Somebody below asked for the best cities in the US: in my experience NYC has the best talent and abundance of options. I would also like to check out cities in Canada once possible, I hear its great up there.

And following up on the discussion below: been mongering for 10 years now and I got to say, at least for me, it does get boring after a while. I still have the urge to go sometimes but right now I am plain bored by the same old options. Thinking about going the pornstar route as a yolo experience.

[Alias7883]

Many options for sure. Sometimes you got to pick what's right for you. What do you guys think of this illustration?

Thanks for both of your input.

There is a granularity to all services in the hobby. So I suppose its just a matter of finding what you personally enjoy.

What people consider valuable in the hobby seems to vary pretty widely. I see glowing reviews for providers I thought were just okay, too expensive, or generally unappealing. But hey, everyone likes what they like, so there really isn't a wrong answer.

The diagram sets up a good list of categories and characteristics for newcomers to try and find their niche.

[SmileySam]

Good post. The other negative aspect is when the hobby becomes a sexual addiction.

"One thing you can't hide is when your crippled inside".