What I learned as a Monger for the past 2 years. Good read for Newbies

[Ron M]

For those that don't mind repetition;.

Indies tend to be more locally based. They live and work in the same area. Well not too far in between. They're reliable and available. And you know what to expect to happen during each meeting. At my age I like seeing the same girl (s) over and over again. Reliability and availability are important to me. I'm not hung up on looks.

I'd rather have an awesome time with an average looking girl next door than a super babe with GPS.

[Ixmeofne]

As tired of some of the same old faces we get, if you look at the sheer volume of options and variety of services (AMPs, agencies, indys, city vs suburbs, etc) there aren't many places that match the numbers Chicago offers. My $. 02 at least.

Many options for sure. Sometimes you got to pick what's right for you. What do you guys think of this illustration?

[FafaFooey]

What cities or areas of the US are good / best in your experience for FS?

The answer to that is going to be as diverse as the people who post here. FS doesn't tell much about what you're really looking for, but in an area as big as Chicagoland you should be able to find it in some form within a few minutes of wherever you live. Outside this area, the sunbelt always seems to be a big draw. Areas like Dallas, Nashville, Atlanta, Tampa, etc have a young energetic vibe, obviously a warmer climate, and sometimes lower price expectations. But just like at home, you have to do your homework and search reviews, and sometimes once you start weeding out bad apples the variety isn't as great as it seemed when you first started browsing those areas. I don't see much raving about the high priced East and West coasts, but I'm sure guys that know their way around those areas have some stories. I personally think there are some fun options in other midwestern cities like Milwaukee, Detroit, Cleveland, but I wouldn't think anyone's making road trips there just to find new providers. Honestly, unless you have a reason or just unlimited funds to travel, I'd do more searching around here. As tired of some of the same old faces we get, if you look at the sheer volume of options and variety of services (AMPs, agencies, indys, city vs suburbs, etc) there aren't many places that match the numbers Chicago offers. My $. 02 at least.

[Alias7883]

What cities or areas of the US are good / best in your experience for FS?

[Ron M]

How do you approach the girls with this? It sounds great, plenty of times I wish I hadn't paid before. I've heard enough stories from the girls that I suspect a lot of them wouldn't even consider it.

On the first visit.

After exchanging small talk and greetings. I just get ready to play. Then if she asks for the money upfront I tell her I'll pay you when were done. If she says it's OK with her then great. If she insists on the money upfront then I just walk out. I vow never ever to get cheated paying upfront ever again. Getting ripped off paying upfront just one time makes you not make that mistake a second time. So all the girls I've seen after that have been good with getting money after playtime is over.

[George Stark]

Great points posted so far.

Never pay upfront before playtime. You might get ripped off, limited time, or your menu item (s) won't be satisfied.

How do you approach the girls with this? It sounds great, plenty of times I wish I hadn't paid before. I've heard enough stories from the girls that I suspect a lot of them wouldn't even consider it.

[AngelBravo]

Great post. The only thing I can think of is adding a bit about deposits and burners.

When searching for a companion and they are requesting a deposit the majority of the time it will be a scam. This would be whether it's through a financial app or sometimes a request for a gift card. For the card they will ask for the number and then most likely you will either never get another response, or they will have you drive around giving you fake addresses before they finally stop. Sending cash through an app also leaves your personal information available to be compromised, in addition to the fact that you will get ghosted.

When you decide to start partaking in this hobby the first thing you should do is get a burner phone. There are many options available depending on what level of contact you want to have, from basic text up to communication apps. Buy with cash and register with fake information if you need to. Refill cards should be bought with cash also because you want to avoid leaving a paper trail, and also keep your real life separate from your mongering life.

A burner phone is very important, for many of those looking for a cheaper alternative using google voice is a great alternative. For those unaware, using your personal phone simply puts you at higher risk for you to later be connected to this possible illegal activity. There have also been horror stories of people getting calls or texts at random times in the day often causing an issue with their personal lives. The worst story I saw is someone posted their phone number and the provider found their LinkedIn account and tried to blackmail them into getting them fired and letting his wife know.

For me personally, taking a picture of my I'd and sending it is a big Red Flag for me not to partake. I know it's safe for some, but I personally never feel comfortable with what can possibly be done with my information. At this point you are at their Mercy and are possibly providing all the evidence needed to prosecute you. I know some agency's do it for their protection and it might be fine, but at some point it can come back to haunt you especially if they get investigated and they don't destroy their data collection which I doubt they do.

[AngelBravo]

Thank you for sharing your thoughts on this thread. That was very informative and I agreed with it entirely. Truth be told the only avenue I didn't venture was sugar babies, personally I'm more of a whim kind of guy and didn't want someone on a monthly allowance as I am not always available due to my work schedule.

I especially enjoyed reading your topic on the fact that in conclusion you will always find something deeply wrong or damaging that's happened to the provider. The surface of what they offer is never all that's there and I would advise not to dig too deep if you aren't ready to deal with the consequences or guilt of knowing the full story. I only wanted to inform newbies of this personality trait because like myself when I started, my only other reference was talking to normal women, and full on relationships. Believe it or not for you to be aroused you need to mentally connect on some level, even if the girl was hot, if she's got kind a shitty attitude you're going to have a bad time. I wanted to warn those newbies that this behavior is somewhat to be expected so don't be surprised.

Thank you all for the additional comments on this thread, as you can imagine, I took a long time to write it and I don't feel it will ever be complete as it evolves with time; but it should be a great start for anyone looking for solid advice on need to know items of this hobby.

Hey, really great tips and definitely something beginners should read. A few other notes from my experiences:

Maybe its just how your personal experience with the hobby played out, but you omitted some big segments of the market between AMPs and structured agencies. There's also a huge pool of independents along with the Seeking Arrangement 'sugar baby' girls now. Indys would usually be considered several steps above streetwalkers, but without all of the overhead of an actual agency (although unfortunately you will find pimps and other 'handlers' Pros of these girls would be less personal verification required than an agency, more variety, and more negotiating room on prices. Main con is you really have to do your homework to ensure safety and some level of getting what you expect. The Arrangement side has its whole own thread. If things work well there its where you can find cleaner, less 'business oriented' girls. Cons are lots of scammers and time wasters, and it can be a very expensive way to do the hobby since most girls want to think in terms of a repeat allowance rather than one time payments, and you likely have additional costs of hotels, etc.

Agree with the other poster about preparing to protect your identity and secure communication methods. Set up a new email, get a burner phone or text app, and keep it all completely separate from your 'real' channels. If possible, use separate devices or at least browsers from anything shared with family. Browser and search histories are easy to clear, but with some apps and devices, cookies, caches, images, etc can be buried a lot deeper than they seem. Financially, its a huge plus if you can have accounts and cards that are completely under your control. Large withdrawals at strange times that are visible to SOs can obviously be huge trouble.

Stings and LE busts are a risk of the hobby, but smaller than the alarmists would have you think. These things are set up periodically to make headlines, but they're not happening constantly, and most cops don't really like participating in them. Avoid brand new ads or unreviewed girls, and be wary of low end motels near highways, especially the ones with outside doors to each room. Cops aren't necessarily doing constant stings there, but they do watch those places carefully in general as other types of crimes are very common and they've been known to randomly stop cars leaving those motels. Unless you're single with nothing to lose in your personal or professional life, I'd ignore the occasional advice you'll see on here that 'they can't prove anything', etc. In most cases, if you answer an ad, agree to a price, and show up in a room where they're running a sting, they've got you. Yes, maybe after court appearances and expensive legal fees you could end up getting the charge tossed, but that will be after having your arrest reported, car impounded, etc. On the other hand, the stories about girls being 'turned' and working with LE to bust men are almost all urban legends. So long story short, stick with previously reviewed long time posters and you should be quite safe from LE issues.

Similar point on health risks. They're there, but they are very well mitigated if you use condoms. Unfortunately, BBFS seems to be an explosively growing area of the hobby, which makes things more risky than they used to be. It wasn't that long ago that girls would be pretty much blacklisted if someone reviewed them giving bare services (even though I'm sure it happened sometimes), and now there are whole threads devoted to it and mongers seem to expect it on the menu. There will be strong disagreements, but to me this is unfortunate. There were plenty of studies from Nevada brothels and countries where providing was legal and regulated that showed that STD incidence was not much higher than the general population if the women used condoms regularly. But a lot of this topic comes down to personal risk tolerance. The killer disease HIV is very well documented to be well prevented by condoms, and statistically is difficult to transmit through non greek sex. But if you have a SO, it doesn't have to be the worst case scenario. Getting one of the easily cured bacterial STDs or even something like mono could be a huge risk, so everyone has to decide where they draw the line for acceptable risks.

Other things you mentioned are more subjective. Maybe its because I played more in the indy and sugar baby parts of the world, but I don't think the experience is always cold, detatched, and fleeting. There are several providers I've known for many years, obviously after seeing them many times, and they've opened up about their real lives, and in some cases there were at least some levels of feelings between us. I'm certainly not saying to go out looking for that, as you'll be very disappointed, but it does happen. The other side of it, and what's become my cold truth about the hobby, is that almost all of these girls have big problems. No matter what image you see when they're providing, whether its the fun loving nympho, hard working girl trying to pay for school, or whatever, under the surface there's usually some kind of abuse, addiction, abandonement, etc that's a big part of her psyche. I'm not saying it should stop you from partaking, and I still do sometimes, but unfortunately its always there under the surface.

But thanks again for sharing all your experiences and I think your post and this thread will put some valuable advice out there.

[Ron M]

Great points posted so far.

Never pay upfront before playtime. You might get ripped off, limited time, or your menu item (s) won't be satisfied.

If the ad pic of the girl isn't the girl you meet in person walk out.

[FafaFooey]

Hey, really great tips and definitely something beginners should read. A few other notes from my experiences:

Maybe its just how your personal experience with the hobby played out, but you omitted some big segments of the market between AMPs and structured agencies. There's also a huge pool of independents along with the Seeking Arrangement 'sugar baby' girls now. Indys would usually be considered several steps above streetwalkers, but without all of the overhead of an actual agency (although unfortunately you will find pimps and other 'handlers' Pros of these girls would be less personal verification required than an agency, more variety, and more negotiating room on prices. Main con is you really have to do your homework to ensure safety and some level of getting what you expect. The Arrangement side has its whole own thread. If things work well there its where you can find cleaner, less 'business oriented' girls. Cons are lots of scammers and time wasters, and it can be a very expensive way to do the hobby since most girls want to think in terms of a repeat allowance rather than one time payments, and you likely have additional costs of hotels, etc.

Agree with the other poster about preparing to protect your identity and secure communication methods. Set up a new email, get a burner phone or text app, and keep it all completely separate from your 'real' channels. If possible, use separate devices or at least browsers from anything shared with family. Browser and search histories are easy to clear, but with some apps and devices, cookies, caches, images, etc can be buried a lot deeper than they seem. Financially, its a huge plus if you can have accounts and cards that are completely under your control. Large withdrawals at strange times that are visible to SOs can obviously be huge trouble.

Stings and LE busts are a risk of the hobby, but smaller than the alarmists would have you think. These things are set up periodically to make headlines, but they're not happening constantly, and most cops don't really like participating in them. Avoid brand new ads or unreviewed girls, and be wary of low end motels near highways, especially the ones with outside doors to each room. Cops aren't necessarily doing constant stings there, but they do watch those places carefully in general as other types of crimes are very common and they've been known to randomly stop cars leaving those motels. Unless you're single with nothing to lose in your personal or professional life, I'd ignore the occasional advice you'll see on here that 'they can't prove anything', etc. In most cases, if you answer an ad, agree to a price, and show up in a room where they're running a sting, they've got you. Yes, maybe after court appearances and expensive legal fees you could end up getting the charge tossed, but that will be after having your arrest reported, car impounded, etc. On the other hand, the stories about girls being 'turned' and working with LE to bust men are almost all urban legends. So long story short, stick with previously reviewed long time posters and you should be quite safe from LE issues.

Similar point on health risks. They're there, but they are very well mitigated if you use condoms. Unfortunately, BBFS seems to be an explosively growing area of the hobby, which makes things more risky than they used to be. It wasn't that long ago that girls would be pretty much blacklisted if someone reviewed them giving bare services (even though I'm sure it happened sometimes), and now there are whole threads devoted to it and mongers seem to expect it on the menu. There will be strong disagreements, but to me this is unfortunate. There were plenty of studies from Nevada brothels and countries where providing was legal and regulated that showed that STD incidence was not much higher than the general population if the women used condoms regularly. But a lot of this topic comes down to personal risk tolerance. The killer disease HIV is very well documented to be well prevented by condoms, and statistically is difficult to transmit through non greek sex. But if you have a SO, it doesn't have to be the worst case scenario. Getting one of the easily cured bacterial STDs or even something like mono could be a huge risk, so everyone has to decide where they draw the line for acceptable risks.

Other things you mentioned are more subjective. Maybe its because I played more in the indy and sugar baby parts of the world, but I don't think the experience is always cold, detatched, and fleeting. There are several providers I've known for many years, obviously after seeing them many times, and they've opened up about their real lives, and in some cases there were at least some levels of feelings between us. I'm certainly not saying to go out looking for that, as you'll be very disappointed, but it does happen. The other side of it, and what's become my cold truth about the hobby, is that almost all of these girls have big problems. No matter what image you see when they're providing, whether its the fun loving nympho, hard working girl trying to pay for school, or whatever, under the surface there's usually some kind of abuse, addiction, abandonement, etc that's a big part of her psyche. I'm not saying it should stop you from partaking, and I still do sometimes, but unfortunately its always there under the surface.

But thanks again for sharing all your experiences and I think your post and this thread will put some valuable advice out there.

[Wenger]

Great post. The only thing I can think of is adding a bit about deposits and burners.

When searching for a companion and they are requesting a deposit the majority of the time it will be a scam. This would be whether it's through a financial app or sometimes a request for a gift card. For the card they will ask for the number and then most likely you will either never get another response, or they will have you drive around giving you fake addresses before they finally stop. Sending cash through an app also leaves your personal information available to be compromised, in addition to the fact that you will get ghosted.

When you decide to start partaking in this hobby the first thing you should do is get a burner phone. There are many options available depending on what level of contact you want to have, from basic text up to communication apps. Buy with cash and register with fake information if you need to. Refill cards should be bought with cash also because you want to avoid leaving a paper trail, and also keep your real life separate from your mongering life.

[JustAMonger]

It was a good read and very informative. I wish I could have read this when I first started out.

Yeah, the whole street walker thing gives me the creeps. So many horror stories. Car dates where the girl you pick up is taking care of you with one hand and reaching under the seat with the other hand trying to find your wallet. Toothless girls with bad hygiene. There's a reason they only charge you 30 or 40 bucks.

As far as the spa scene, you can't always circle the lot looking for signs of Uncle LEO. And then there's the guys who park down the street and walk all the way past the neighbors houses to get to the spa. If it's already a suspected "fun Spa", it just adds to their suspicions. Myself, I park right in front of the spa, walk right in, because I'm going in for a legit massage. As far as anybody knows.

I was recently at a local spa. I was walking in, monger was walking out. I made eye contact and gave him the friendly head nod. He looked away. There's so much street parking it's ridiculous. Yet the guy parks in the parking lot of a business across the street, so he pulls the jacket hood up over his face does the Walk of Shame all the way, steps through and over the snow barrier in the other parking lot, gets in his car drives away with the headlights off. If that doesn't look suspicious, I don't know what does. I just stood there shaking my head because this is actually a spa in a residential neighborhood.

I'm sure he was a local guy who is afraid somebody will spot his car and that's good that he's being careful, but what do the spas neighbors think?

A week later at the same spa I see a guy park purposely 7 spaces down the road in front of a residential house, get out of his car and walked 1/2 block past all the empty parking spaces. My point is you can make yourself look more suspicious than you really are. I always walk-in like I'm going in for a massage. What's wrong with that? If your local guy and don't want to get spotted, you need monger in a different town I'm sorry to say.

I know it isn't completely staying with your subject but does apply. If you look suspicious people will think you're suspicious. Just try to act natural. That goes for when you're in the room with the girl. Just try to be relaxed. If you don't smile at the girl and introduce yourself she may be suspicious of you. I'm nice to a fault. They really appreciate it.

[AngelBravo]

Hello, I've been meaning to post this as I wish someone posted these tips and thoughts when I started so here we go.

Mongering which is the term for this hobby can be a fun. You get to meet many women and honestly take it as far as your comfortable. I think biologically getting a hand massage by a beautiful woman (Known as Level 1, getting a BJ (L2) or having full sex (Full-Service) is engrained in every man's biological satisfaction list. There have been many days where I wasn't thinking about meeting a Masseuse at all and then I see a sexy picture of them on the site and my juices start flowing and I just have to book her.

There are many abbreviations to Sex terms in this hobby that you will find, Here are the most common that you should be aware of: BBBJ (Bare Back Blow Job), BBFS (Bare Back Full-Service), CBJ (Condom Blow Job), CFS (Condom Full-Service), DATY (Dine at the why. Which means eating her out), HJ (Hand Job), Greek (Anal Sex), In-call (You visit them at their location), Out-Call (They come to visit you at your location), QV (Quick Visit), GFE (Girlfriend Experience), PSE (Porn-Start Experience), YMMV (Your Mileage May Vary. This means she may treat you differently depending on how you treat her and if she likes you), LEO (Law Enforcement Officer), TOFTT (Take One For The Team. Means nobody has any information and you should be the first and report back with intel).

Finding Service. There are many websites and location types which this site covers very well in which you can meet a Sex Worker. I won't discuss them individually but but I will cover the type of places you will most commonly visit and discuss the Pro's and Con's of each based on my experience.

Massage Parlors - (Often abbreviated as AMP for Asian Massage Parlor, or EMP for European Massage Parlor etc.) These location are your typical Massage places that you find throughout the city. They can often be simple massage places that offer extra services.

If your looking for a location that offers Sex work watch out for these flags.

1. They open late.

2. They mention a Table Shower or bath in their services.

3. When you arrive they don't give you a menu and may only ask you if you want 30 minutes or 60 minutes.

Pros: They are cheap, and easily accessible ($60-180 $). On top of Sex Work, you may find you get a decent massage at these locations in comparison to other options.

Cons: You often don't always get to choose the girl of your choice, the girl on the website is almost 100% never them, the women at these location are much older often in their 30's and 40's. Customers walk in on a whim, there is often more background noise and you are in a small room. The masseuse might seem rushed if another customer is waiting. There is a slightly higher Risk that the place might get busted by a LEO at any moment. Not common, but there is a chance as these places are targeted by police in comparison to other options. If you are caught your best bet is to plead ignorance and don't say another word until you speak to a lawyer if necessary.

Agency's. These are often run by one person where they promote their girls on a website. Chances are the pictures on the website are legit but mostly likely photoshopped a bit, outdated, or simply taken at very good angles to positively promote the girls. The faces are almost always blurred for the girls protection, but if you research on this site and with google, you will find solid information on the girl that interests you. When you visit these girls at the hotel you will want to try to keep it private. Wear a hat, Covid mask, and sunglasses as you will be walking in a hotel with other patrons and employees, Never speak to anyone at the hotel simply arrive at the time agreed upon with the Agency booker and you will receive the room number and when to go up when she's ready.

Pros: The women are typically much more beautiful. You get to pick the girl of your choosing 100% of the time. The locations are almost always in nicer Hotel's and private rented apartments. It's very private, quiet and much more personal. You don't have to worry about someone walking in or the girl trying to juggle other customers that may walk through the front door. There is still a Risk always of the place getting busted but that would be more if the girl you are trying to see is the LEO and you didn't do the proper research to find out.

Cons: Much more expensive ($180-$500), There is always a risk that the person you saw on the site is not the girl you visited, considering the upcharge in cost I advise you to walk away if your not happy. Locations vary depending on the hotel they booked so you may have to travel farther from your home. LEO Risk is much more minimal, nobody is going to bust through the door unless the girl your seeing is a LEO and you didn't put enough research in the Agency that it was legit.

Street Walkers. While I myself never partook in these services so I can't comment much, here is what I know about these service type. It's super cheap, we are talking $30-$100 for Full Service, you get to pick the girl on the spot as you pick her up in your car. You don't need to rent a hotel or wait long to arrive. The biggest Con for me is that they are typically not as attractive and they are much more open to Bare Back Service which often means there is higher Risk involved.

Tips for beginner Mongers:

Before you arrive, circle the building for any possible LEO's Staking out the location. When you walk through the door request to use the bathroom immediately. You want to ensure there are no LEO's hiding in the bathroom. If this is a hotel look at the bathroom and see her personal belongings. It should look like she's taken a bath recently or put her personal items somewhere in the bathroom. If you see these things it's a good sign it's legit and not a stake out.

The Term YMMV (Your Mileage May Vary) is not respected enough. Please keep in mind that these women see men constantly throughout the day, if you treat her with any disrespect don't expect to get the same service as another reviewer. Also please shower before you arrive, clean yourself up and come dressed well. You should be shocked how much better service you'll have if you visit them like if you where going on a hot date instead of just bumming around the house.

The Cold Truth about the girls you will be visiting -.

In my experience no matter how nice and respectful I was, I learned quite a few things about the female psychology with these women. In summary, you are simply a job and pile of quick cash for her. The longer a girl works in this business the more cold her personality will be and in order to protect herself from feeling ok with herself she will be a bit mechanical in her approach. Some women find peace with themselves and their job and truly do enjoy the Sex, but you will find that the majority of the women you meet will be very cold. Even if you pay for GFE, you are never going to substitute the feelings you get with your actual Girlfriend. Women don't work this way and the faster you learn to expect this to be the norm the better you'll adjust to the reality that you're just fast money to them and nothing more.

Often I see Mongers go through an agency, girl by girl looking for a more personal and emotional connection; And while these things can happen in small doses they'll keep bouncing around because they will never be able to fill that true void of real intimacy that none of these girls can provide. These girls provide physical sexual satisfaction and nothing more, the ones that truly care don't last very long and quite or disappear. This is also one of the reasons I prefer to meet newbies into this Sex Work. Anyone working longer than 1 year will be very different and distant.

I also want to cover that seeing these type of girls can be detrimental to your other relationships. If you are a married man or have a Girlfriend and aren't getting the sex from her that you seek. You will quickly feel the difference when the kisses feel empty, and there is no cuddling at all afterwards. As long as you understand that this type of sex is different and don't expect anymore more than your physical body will being satisfied you'll be fine. However if you go in expecting a more emotional and intimate relationship you are going to be disappointed; If you do this hobby too long you may forget what a real relationship with a women might be, so please heed this warning.

THIS IS THE MOST IMPORTANT THING ABOUT MONGERING THAT CAN BE LIFE CHANGING. PLEASE READ.

Like some hobbies, please keep in mind that as amazing as I've now written about my mongering experience; The absolute worst part about mongering is the inherent RISK of an STD that can lead to serious Illness or Death.

I am not going to sugar coat things and not cover that sleeping with someone always carries it's inherent sexual risks. I know many Monger's will try to tell you that sleeping with a girl you met at a club is just as risky, but the facts remain that someone that has sex with around 6-8 men per day will always be riskier in comparison to a girl that sleeps around once a week. Sure they can both be risky, but this is simply a numbers game and every partner they have sex with is just rolling the dice more often on the chance of getting infected.

Yes, there are many STD (Sexually Transmitted Diseases) that you can still get even if you use a condom. There are positions like Cowgirl that are riskier because gravity will drip her juices down your condom shaft onto your unprotected Pubic Area. The condom also has the risk of breaking, exposing you entirely to that person. There is also this myth that Bare Back BlowJob is not as risky, that's just bullshit. If she's infected, your penis opening (Urethra) will get infected from her throat if the person before you was infected and jizzed in her mouth.

I really don't want to be a Debbie Downer but there is serious risk in this Hobby and I couldn't possibly write this Tips and Tricks without covering this most important topic in detail.

Truth be told, because of these risks I only did FS once and then decided from a scare that it just wasn't worth it. I was panicking for weeks when I noticed a rash near my groin only to be told weeks later that it was just a bad in-grown hair that had gotten infected. It may be funny to think about it now since I panicked for weeks for apparently nothing, but the fear I felt during those weeks worked great as a wake-up call, to what may be and what I definitely don't want in my life. If you don't think this can't happen to you, then I urge you to google HIV patients who felt the same way until it happened to them. For this reason alone, I only partake in L1 (HJ) now and feel satisfied with this decision for both my mental sanity, comfort and overall life health. I advise you to please be aware of the risks and tread carefully for your very life depends on it.

Thank you for taking the time to read my long post, I hope it helps you in this hobby and most important I hope it possibly saves someone's life by just being aware of the risks. I'd love if the mods stickie this post and directed all newbies here. This post would also be great if it grew with your suggestions or experiences for others to learn. Have a wonderful day;.