War Stories

[Jadedone]

I was visiting a beautiful Asian spinner who was touring Chicago in 2016 at her River North hotel suite. It was late winter, the sky was a bit cloudy so she had her drapes open to let in a little light. I didn't care, hell we were on the seventh floor, who could even see us? The session was great, as usual, starting with some of the world's best head and eventually moving to mish and my favorite, doggy style. I was enjoying pounding her delicious little ass when suddenly the window washer guy swung down on his harness and began cleaning her windows. She kept going but I had to stop although he did his best to keep cleaning those windows. Fortunately there was a private corner in her suite where we could finish in a bit of privacy. After we finished satisfying each other, we had a good laugh while we were dressing, a one of a kind experience for sure.

LOL LOL LOL!

This happened to me once about 15 years ago. Only it wasn't with a provider, it was a girl I worked with. We were at bar and decided to get a room at one of those cheap hotels on Ogden. (both married at the time, now both divorced).

Fast forward. I'm balls deep, and I see something move out of the corner of my eye. Yep. Dude was out cleaning the windows. He did his best to act like he didn't notice.

Also, these stories are great! Keep them coming.

[HanginBalls]

This was not a pro when I met her. She eventually became one due to hard times:

A while back I picked up a 30 something yr old broad from a meat market bar. Average height, skinny with small boobs, but a great ass and legs! Naked her ass was untoned. Great kisser and phenomenal BBBJ! Huge pussy lips and a clit that would make some guys envious! Fucked her doggie and her ass puckered and gaped! Finished in her puss and basically took off. On the way out I did notice a collection of big toys. She called me the next night and asked 4 a repeat performance. Walked around the back of her building to go thru patio door. Saw that bedroom light was on and shade slightly open, so I peeked through the window. There she was! Laying naked on the bed with two huge dildos in her! One in her puss and the other up her ass!! Watched for a few till she bucked in orgasm! Pulled the big dildo from her puss and deep throat it clean! Threw it on the floor, then pulled the huge dildo out of her ass (It must've been 14"'s long)! Then the inevitable happened! She deep throated her shit-ladened dildo so deep you could see her throat bulge from the head! She sucked on it for a few minutes and then I heard her say, " Where the f*ck is that guy".

Needless to say, I did not enter her premises!

[Randolph]

I had a similar and horrible time with her. I couldn't even cum she so turned me off.

On a more pleasant note. Several years ago I see this ad for a massage and she looked good. I wind up going to her house and she takes me to the bedroom and I then spent the next 90 minutes having the time of my life. She was very attractive and sexy. Short with a good body and nips that just made me nuts. Within ten minutes we went from massage to defk, daty, BBBJ and BBFS. I was in love. I used to see her on and off over a year or two. Over time, she tells me hubby is in jail and 5 year old is with her sister. Ok. Soon we are talking a lot and I learn that hubby was in some immunity discussions with feds. Over this period of time she moves two times. Our sessions become three holer. Finally she complains one day that some reporter wrote about her. She gives me the web site and turns our hubby was in one of the mob gangs that the feds have been busting up over the last several years. She was references as a mob princess. The thought that while I was blasting inside her one of the boys might be wiring up my car outside gave me a perverse thrill. I always asked her if he was still in jail before I went over there. I found out later that daughter, who was then 7 or 8 was actually in her bedroom while I was doing mama. Finally about a year or two ago, she wants to meet, which she would notify me of such intention by sending me a nude photo of herself, and I reply that I was short of cash. She gets pissed and throws up that I had gone on vacation with my wife a few weeks ago. I just said in another week or two. A few days later, my cell (burner line) rings in the middle of the night. I just reach over and click to cancel. It was her number. I tell wife it was a junk caller. Next morning check the message and she is clearly drunk and spewing that I am a cheap jew bastard and she is going to call my wife and I don't. Blah blah blah. I text her and gently ask her what is wrong with her. She sends me a rambling text basically reiterating the rambling call. So with a sigh of giving up great pussy I block her from my cell and can add her number to my home line block list and never heard back from her. I haven't see any of her ads in about a year or more. This just reinforces the concept that pussy always comes with a price. I dodged the bullet. Both figuratively as well as literally. Really. Hubby was in with the big time bent nose boys.

[HanginBalls]

First, back in 2007 I am working in Elk Grove. On my drive home I find Higgins Spa. I got out of work late one night and decided to give it a try. As usual with me, once I'm committed to walking in the door I don't turn back. That's my problem. The place was a dump. The staff wasn't even trying to fix it up with a plastic plant or artwork on the walls. Mammasan greeted me? No, it was the MT. Did I mention I was committed? Massage was just OK, but the room was just as bad as the lobby, the music was Asian but speaker system made it sound like it was coming from a bug. Worst yet, the florescent lighting kept flickering and making a crackling sound. At this point dim lights would have been appreciated. MT rubs my crotch from behind, flips me over and proceeds to give me the most mechanical HJ I ever got. As I was leaving I asked myself how they could possibly stay in business. Remarkably they did for at least another 2 years.

Second horror story. Last fall I'm on Listcrawler, in the 40 up section. I come across Missy. Pictures showed a plump but pleasant looking woman who sounded as if she would give me a nice, relaxing experience. I called, she screened me. She didn't sound "Euro" at all, but plain midwestern American. We agree to meet at an address in Mt. Prospect..

Met her at her incall in Mt. Pros probably 2013. A bit of a plumper so she must've lost some weight. Answered door in crotchless panties and bra with a hole exposing her nipples. In her defense, I will say she is attractive. The downside: Closed lip kissing, told me not to suck to hard on her nipples. Told me to lay down on mattress in living room and undress. No massage, just wrapped me up for an uninspiring CBJ. No play on her hairy pussy! Ten minute h / j and asked me if I was ready to cum! Humphed when I asked 4 ass play. Puton glove and roughly dug in. She got frustrated after a few minutes, so I forced my orgasm! Pulled the kitchen glove off and threw it in disgust!

1 x 8 for hour. Gone in 20 minutes. Asked her for more. She said,"One pop per visit"! No way in hell I would repeat!

[LittleMan65]

Twenty years ago (or so). I had a business trip to Calgary and thought I'd treat myself to one of the local strip clubs after a longs days work.

As an interesting aside--the Canadians really seemed to love those Loonies ($1 coin). So for the shoe show, instead of showering the girls in dollar bills, the goal was to try to land one of those coins on the girls titties. I thought it was odd--but, followed along. Now, I'm thinking about a bunch of drunk guys tossing large coins at the talent.

Anyway, as I left the establishment, I was approached by a couple of professionals and agreed to take one to my room for $xxx (don't remember the exact amount). Once to the room I handed over the cash to the girl and she proceeded to run down the menu and upcharges! The $xxx was only to get her to my room. My biggest lesson learned from the start of my mongering days--always negotiate the services / costs BEFORE giving over the cash. Oh, well. At least I had enough left in my wallet to get a decent BJ out of the deal--she was even kind enough to pull out her Canadian Mountains for me to view as she sucks the cum from my prick.

[Sam Spade]

First, back in 2007 I am working in Elk Grove. On my drive home I find Higgins Spa. I got out of work late one night and decided to give it a try. As usual with me, once I'm committed to walking in the door I don't turn back. That's my problem. The place was a dump. The staff wasn't even trying to fix it up with a plastic plant or artwork on the walls. Mammasan greeted me? No, it was the MT. Did I mention I was committed? Massage was just OK, but the room was just as bad as the lobby, the music was Asian but speaker system made it sound like it was coming from a bug. Worst yet, the florescent lighting kept flickering and making a crackling sound. At this point dim lights would have been appreciated. MT rubs my crotch from behind, flips me over and proceeds to give me the most mechanical HJ I ever got. As I was leaving I asked myself how they could possibly stay in business. Remarkably they did for at least another 2 years.

Second horror story. Last fall I'm on Listcrawler, in the 40 up section. I come across Missy. Pictures showed a plump but pleasant looking woman who sounded as if she would give me a nice, relaxing experience. I called, she screened me. She didn't sound "Euro" at all, but plain midwestern American. We agree to meet at an address in Mt. Prospect. Turned out to be a tiny little office building with tiny little offices. She sees me pull up through the window and calls, making sure I park in a certain spot only. I go to the door and it opens a crack, I walk in. Surprise! Not plump, but outright bordering on obese. Office is a total, total dump with a dumpy little cot to go with it. She makes small talk, tells me to get undressed and lie down. She puts on a pair of medical gloves and proceeds to oil up my dick, then proceeds to try, and fail, to get me off by talking dirty. First, I hate dirty talk. Second, it wasn't even good. She's sitting between my legs and giving orders like a drill sergeant. "Put your leg over here! Now bend it. No, not like that. Let me tell you what I did with my lesbo girlfriend. I'm going in now. Do you feel that? Why didn't you cum when I stuck my finger up your ass? I'll make you cum this time! Ready? Here we go. ".

Did I mention I was committed?

Never, ever again.

[HanginBalls]

Mary slid her tongue around her lips and lowered her robe showing enormous cleavage! Her wink sealed the deal and we were sipping wine at the coffee table. She knew about my situation and I asked about hers. She said she has been married 38 years to an account rep. He was very successful. She is an account rep and was on trip to close a deal. She seemed successful as well with her perfectly done mani / pedi. I inquired about her sex life and she said it was fine in the beginning, but has been waning off lately. I asked her if she ever cheated before and she said," Well, outside of my vibrators, no"! She said hubby was a good lover but lacked length. He had the girth but sometimes wanted more depth. I asked her why she was dressed in lingerie (was she expecting somebody? She said she was planning on going to sleep with a little "assistance"! She nodded towards the bed and I noticed a collection of toys! One was particularly large with plenty of length (10 "s) and girth! I asked her which one was her favorite and she walked over and brought back a five inch, slim vibby. She sauntered back grazing her soft hands on my neck. She straddled the chair exposing her Amazonian Bush through her panties. She pulled the chair closer and straddled her legs onto my shoulders. She then began the ascent with her vibrator through her panties. She asked me if I wouldn't mind kissing her feet. She placed her petite (size 5) feet on my face and I began suckling her soles. The small but powerful disappeared inside her fiery, red Bush! She massaged my dick through my pants with one foot while I worshipped the other. Mary's left hand found her breast and was vigorously pinching her nipple through the fabric! Her foot was now gliding UP my shaft as she squealed in delight! She was in ecstacy and was demanding something larger! She withdrew the cream drenched vibby and reached for a seven inch and fairly thick dildo! She ripped off her panties and screamed, " G-d. I need a big cock now" She replaced her feet in my mouth and cock and slowly entered the dilly inside her. She was having trouble getting in a good position so she asked me to join her in the bed. She disrobed entirely and what a sight of her glorious breasts! They must've been a DDD and on such a small frame even bigger!! Her nipples were short butt thick and stood proud from her brown, silver dollar size areolas! She laid on her back with dilly in hand and asked me if I wud do her a favor. She looked at my groin and I took the cue. I teasingly pulled down my trousers. Mary looked in anticipation as I lowered them to her satisfaction. I stopped half-way and Mary smiled said,"More" I nodded no and Mary slid the dilly back in her as she glared at my swollen cock dying to release itself! She gripped my partially exposed cock with one hand while furiously fucking herself with the dildo! She begged for more cock as she bucked in ecstacy experiencing an explosive orgasm!!

Mary was still in ecstacy as she grabbed her oversize dildo (9 inches and quite thick)! She slid the dildo in her mouth preparing for entry into her love canal! Mary had cheated and pulled my cock from my trousers. "Holy lawd", she cried "You definitely ddnt get cheated in the endowment dept"! "How big are you" How big do you think I am" I quipped. Don't play with me young man? She barked I still teased till she placed the dilly along side my rod. It towered over the dilly! She extended her middle finger above the dilly to meet the tip of my cock. She kept her middle finger exended flicking me off in jest. "Dawling, give me the pleasure" as she spread her legs pushing my body between them. "I want to fuck, but I also want to be made love too"! Mary pulled me in closer aswe entwined in a DFK. Her tongue though small was silky smooth and talented. I swelled fully and my rod gently caressed her inner folds. She flinched as her tongue explored my mouth fervently! She then reached underneath and guided the tip of my cock between her moist labias! She moaned as she rubbed the tip along and around her clitoris! She arched her back and moaned feverishly as she slid my throbber deep inside her! I was a good seven inches inside when she started biting my tongue, shoulders, neck and nipples! She begged me to pinch her nipples as she let out a loud moan and a massive orgasm!! Her nails dug into my back, her mouth still clamped to my shoulders Mary was convulsing continuously!! I was at the point and Mary propped her hands on my chest and told me to cum inside her! I trusted hard. Mary stopped me from going much deeper than 8"'s but I kept the pace! She kept pace with me and warned me of another orgasm! "My G-d! I've never been so filled in my life! You're stretching me out" I was a good ten inches inside her and I warned Mary "I was cumming"! She said," One more minute baby! Let me join you".

2 b cont.

[PghTraveler]

I went to the famed Market Street Cinema in SF in 2001, which I had read all sorts of things about. If you don't know about it, it was just a brothel in an old-fashioned movie house in what was then a super sketchy area that is now totally gentrified. They famously paid off everyone in the city, and it's kind of amazing that it lasted as long as it did. Same with Mitchell Bros Theater.

I was totally new to the hobby and had no sense. So of course I went with the first girl who hit me up, who in all fairness was a cute petite Latina. We went into the back and did the $20 lapdance followed by "do you want a little more" plus the trip to the ATM and paying off the bouncer. But the thing I'll always remember is that when she pulled my pants down, she took a large sheet of paper towel, ripped a hole in it, and put it on my lap and pulled my covered dick through the hole. It was the most unerotic experience I've ever had, and I've fucked mamasans in MPs with the smell of kimchi burning my nose. Haunts me to this day.

[Chicago Istp]

So this happened not too long ago actually.

I saw an agency girl (who is still active, but I won't disclose who she is and have not reviewed her either) based on her good looking pictures and good reviews. When I walked in, she did what they usually do when they stand behind the door as they open it. I turn to look at her, and we both immedately recognize each other. Our families are friends, and while we've never really spoken too much, I've seen her at a lot of weddings, funerals, etc. I'm in my mid-20's, and she's between 30-31. So growing up as a kid and in my teens, she was always in the age group that didn't interact much with "the kids. ".

The weird thing is, I never thought much of her in terms of looks, since she was pretty plain in person. But seeing her in this lingerie and how great het body was. Man.

It was definitely awkward for us, and we both made sure we'll never speak of it to anyone, and agreed to proceed.

I was single at the time, and I became enamoured with her. I saw her every chance I could. Eventually, I got a girlfriend, but I was still active in the hobby, and saw her mostly. One day, there was another wedding, and my gf tagged along. The escort walks up to introduce herself to my gf at some point in the night.

That became too real for me, and I haven't seen her since. My then GF (we've broken up since for unrealated reasons) didn't catch on, but I didn't appreciate the escort doing that.

[Shorty58]

I was visiting a beautiful Asian spinner who was touring Chicago in 2016 at her River North hotel suite. It was late winter, the sky was a bit cloudy so she had her drapes open to let in a little light. I didn't care, hell we were on the seventh floor, who could even see us? The session was great, as usual, starting with some of the world's best head and eventually moving to mish and my favorite, doggy style. I was enjoying pounding her delicious little ass when suddenly the window washer guy swung down on his harness and began cleaning her windows. She kept going but I had to stop although he did his best to keep cleaning those windows. Fortunately there was a private corner in her suite where we could finish in a bit of privacy. After we finished satisfying each other, we had a good laugh while we were dressing, a one of a kind experience for sure.

[HanginBalls]

A while back I was to meet this 20 sumhin thru an agency. I hadn't been laid in a week and was to busy with work to even jack off! I had some free time and wanted to bang a buxom blonde!! Called UP, dressed UP set up and went to meet UP. Knuckled her door and a no-show UP! Rattled the door a few more times and I was fed UP! Banged on the door angrily because I thought I was set UP! I was about to leave when a diminutive middle-aged lady opened the door and said,"What's UP"I yelped," This is fucked UP"! She asked discerningly," Why are you banging on my door and why are you UPset" I decided to fess UP and told her I had a date with an Upscale escort and I guess this night was a fuck UP! She UPologized then asked," You are a good looking guy. (she glanced at my crotch) and added," and you've got a nice bod! Why the hell do you need an escort" I replied, " I caught my wife another guy (actually two) and at that point we decided to have an open marriage (well somewhat)"! Again, I caught this Gilf scanning me. Let me describe this lady to you (Mary). She's about 5 foot tall, maybe 95 #'s with short, red hair, blue eyes. She has lost some tone in her legs, and through her robe she seemed to have breasts seemed natural, large and voluptuous (definitely out of proportion to the rest of her body). She asked me how I felt about her cheating on me. I took a deep breath and anwered," Actually, it's kinda relieving! Our sessions took 2-3 hours and she wouldn't reach her first orgasm until the first hour"! Mary yelped," Two. Three hours?? I'm lucky if I get 20 minutes!! Why so long" I replied," My wife likes oral sex, LOT'S of it" She stared at me curiously and uttered "oral sex, huh? She kept staring at me so I parted my lips and slowly exhibited my tongue. She said, I can see why your wife would enjoy it. "! At this point, we were still standing, but I was inside her room. I also noticed her robe had slightly opened and yes, her breasts were well rounded and ample! My phone rang. It was the agency asking me where I was at? I told them I was on the third floor of the Hilton Suites. They told me I was supposed to be at the Hilton Garden! I told them I'd be on my way. I looked at Mary and Mary discouraged looked at me. I shrugged my shoulders when Mary said, Well, you can go see your escort or you can stay with me"!

2 b cont.

[DPark80]

Are these over in Schaumburg? If yes, I know exactly which ones you're talking about. I've been to both and more than one person has told me that people get these two mixed up all the time. Luckily it hasn't happened to me yet!

Last Fall I decided it was time to get my fat ass down to a reasonable weight, so I started the Keto diet. There's one thing that happens a few days after you go keto called the "keto flu. " Basically you get stupid as fuck, so I thought it was the perfect time to meet with one of the 530 girls.

Confirmed time and length of appointment, and location, or so I thought, at a Hyatt.

So, I leave the office, Head swimming from keto flu and blood deprivation, and head to the Hyatt. Zip past the front desk nose in phone and empty computer bag over my shoulder. Get up to the room and knock, no answer. Knock again, still no answer. WTF? Text booker mad as hell, I'm here, she's not answering. I get text back she doesn't see you through spy hole. WTF, she blind? I finally pull a thought together and ask for address again.

Booker sends address and full name. Oh. Shit. I went to the Hyatt House, incall was a Hyatt Place 5 minutes away. Shit.

So I spent 5 minutes knocking on the door of a (luckily) empty room in the wrong hotel.

But, I did zip over to correct place, apologized profusely to the lovely trashy Eastern Euro who happily dispensed with the lame massage and went straight to a nice BBBJ 69. One of the better nuts I had in a while.

But what a way to get there!

[PyroPreach]

Last Fall I decided it was time to get my fat ass down to a reasonable weight, so I started the Keto diet. There's one thing that happens a few days after you go keto called the "keto flu. " Basically you get stupid as fuck, so I thought it was the perfect time to meet with one of the 530 girls.

Confirmed time and length of appointment, and location, or so I thought, at a Hyatt.

So, I leave the office, Head swimming from keto flu and blood deprivation, and head to the Hyatt. Zip past the front desk nose in phone and empty computer bag over my shoulder. Get up to the room and knock, no answer. Knock again, still no answer. WTF? Text booker mad as hell, I'm here, she's not answering. I get text back she doesn't see you through spy hole. WTF, she blind? I finally pull a thought together and ask for address again.

Booker sends address and full name. Oh. Shit. I went to the Hyatt House, incall was a Hyatt Place 5 minutes away. Shit.

So I spent 5 minutes knocking on the door of a (luckily) empty room in the wrong hotel.

But, I did zip over to correct place, apologized profusely to the lovely trashy Eastern Euro who happily dispensed with the lame massage and went straight to a nice BBBJ 69. One of the better nuts I had in a while.

But what a way to get there!

Although I was not on Keto at the time and it was out of state- and the two different hyatts where across the street from each other. I had this exact experience. I managed to pick the wrong hotel and basically spent 10 minutes awkwardly in the wrong hotel. Ended up across the street finally and got an amazing blowjob as the chick was laughing at me about it all and ended up way more relaxed and playful then I think would have otherwise.

[Call Me Slappy]

Last Fall I decided it was time to get my fat ass down to a reasonable weight, so I started the Keto diet. There's one thing that happens a few days after you go keto called the "keto flu. " Basically you get stupid as fuck, so I thought it was the perfect time to meet with one of the 530 girls.

Confirmed time and length of appointment, and location, or so I thought, at a Hyatt.

So, I leave the office, Head swimming from keto flu and blood deprivation, and head to the Hyatt. Zip past the front desk nose in phone and empty computer bag over my shoulder. Get up to the room and knock, no answer. Knock again, still no answer. WTF? Text booker mad as hell, I'm here, she's not answering. I get text back she doesn't see you through spy hole. WTF, she blind? I finally pull a thought together and ask for address again.

Booker sends address and full name. Oh. Shit. I went to the Hyatt House, incall was a Hyatt Place 5 minutes away. Shit.

So I spent 5 minutes knocking on the door of a (luckily) empty room in the wrong hotel.

But, I did zip over to correct place, apologized profusely to the lovely trashy Eastern Euro who happily dispensed with the lame massage and went straight to a nice BBBJ 69. One of the better nuts I had in a while.

But what a way to get there!

[Chicago41]

I should have called this thread Penthouse Forum LOL.