Massage Parlor Reports

[Monsignor]

I've finally found it. After more than 300 massages, I've found a reason to stop looking. First some background.

My first 150 massages were all with LMTs. Most were part of my physical therapy, some were just to work the knots out. Each was highly skilled and professional. No hint of any extras and I always kept at least my underwear on. All of them were quite attractive too, with the exception of Bob. He wasn't attractive to me.

Then I entered the AMP world. I've now had non-LMT massages in 3 states and 3 foreign countries. The masseues varied in looks from "you don't need to touch me, just smile and I'll nut", to Chinese Granny Clampett. The massages have varied in quality and we all know how the endings vary. Last night I found one end of the total AMP experience scale.

Last night I was finishing late and wanted to squeeze in massage with at least a possibility of something beyond standard. With getting out of work after 9 and needing to get to an ATM, my options were somewhat limited. Too many places close at 9:30. I settled on the Firehouse, 86th Street, west of Michigan road.

Pulled in the empty lot at 9:15 and was greeted by an unattractive 40 something. She was stocky, but not really fat. Imagine a 3/4 scale shotputter. Or imagine Odd Job from the James Bond film, minus the hat and mustache.

I'll get to the pluses first. The place seemed clean, a full menu is available and she didn't use any oil.

I've had some bad massages. I've had a few terrible massages. At least I could call them massages. This was something like the "he's touching me" game played by kids, crossed with trying to get boogers off all your fingers simultaneously. You could get a better massage by posing as a piata at a kids birthday party.

Fortunately, it didn't last long and she was unable to cause lasting damage. The flip came after 12 minutes. The menu was presented and I chose the CFS option. I figured, if I'm going to have a terrible experience, I might as well make it as bad as possible.

CBJ was actually decent. CFS was full starfish mode with occasional light, fake moans. At least there was no odor issue. I finished as quick as possible, got cleaned up and suffered through 2 minutes of what she probably calls a facial massage. I didn't complain when she told me I was done with a full 20 minutes remaining of my hour.

On a scale of 1-10 I'd rate the whole thing as a 1. 3, with 0. 8 being for the piece of candy I picked up on my way out.

LOL well said!

On the other hand, You wouldn't have to worry if granny were to accidentally bite when she should have spit (assuming she took her teeth out).

[Monsignor]

Isn't it more more enjoyable going to the places where FS isn't on the standard menu, and you have to work a little bit for said service? It's always seemed to me that going to places where you know a complete menu is openly available to anyone with the cash is a little bit like shooting fish in a barrel. You get the fish, but it doesn't taste as good when you eat it. There's just something more alluring about the provider who isn't giving it up to every swinging dick that walks in the door. Not to mention the fact that when you fuck a sure thing, you know it was a sure thing for the 5 guys who came in before you (that day).

Of course, That's not to say that I never follow you thru the door LOL.

[Monsignor]

Anyone fill me in on TTFTT? I've seen it used here a few times. I know I'm new here, but I've been on RM about a year, (verifiable) with plenty of reviews under a similar name. Also about this Phoenix place. Isn't anywhere on RM which like I said is what I typically use. I just found this forum today.

Thanks for reading friends.

Note the "abbreviations tab at the top of the site. It'll tell you what the acronyms mean. FYI, it's TOFTT. Take One For The Team.

[Theo Guderian]

Classic.

Chinese Granny Clampett.

Another classic.

3/4 scale shotputter.

Classic, but in that "Oh Dear God, you made me think of THAT" kind of way.

Or imagine Odd Job from the James Bond film, minus the hat and mustache.

Classic.

You could get a better massage by posing as a pinata at a kids birthday party.

I commend you for going through with the AMP equivalent of bagging the fat chick at the end of the spin the bottle party when you're a kid. Your service is commendable sir.

Fortunately, it didn't last long and she was unable to cause lasting damage. The flip came after 12 minutes. The menu was presented and I chose the CFS option. I figured, if I'm going to have a terrible experience, I might as well make it as bad as possible.

[Jrandon3]

Anyone fill me in on TTFTT? I've seen it used here a few times. I know I'm new here, but I've been on RM about a year, (verifiable) with plenty of reviews under a similar name. Also about this Phoenix place. Isn't anywhere on RM which like I said is what I typically use. I just found this forum today.

Thanks for reading friends.

[IndyGolfer60]

Hadn't been in a few months so decided to stop by there on my way home from running errands. Took hhr with LULU, Long hair probaly a 7/10 and spoke little english other tahn a nough to get you what you need. Massage was actually perrty good and she actually did my legs front an back. HE was decent as well would repeat. After the HE she did my front Thighs and legs and actually felt good. Standard Rates and tip.

[RubGuy80]

WOW. I thought the place was totally shut down. I stopped by early a Saturday morning about a week after there was word they were raided and my fave Angela was gone. I was met at the front door by a 40 ish overweight guy with a big big set of keys. He was locking it up. Had a gray Lexus SUV. He said he was the owner, and it was permanently shut down.

Any "Angela" fans know what she's up to?

I too wish that I knew how to reach her, but if she's smart she's gone, as she was originally from LA. She was great the one time I was her before they were shut down. GFE type and she enjoyed her profession. A shame.

[Indiguy]

I've finally found it. After more than 300 massages, I've found a reason to stop looking. First some background.

My first 150 massages were all with LMTs. Most were part of my physical therapy, some were just to work the knots out. Each was highly skilled and professional. No hint of any extras and I always kept at least my underwear on. All of them were quite attractive too, with the exception of Bob. He wasn't attractive to me.

Then I entered the AMP world. I've now had non-LMT massages in 3 states and 3 foreign countries. The masseues varied in looks from "you don't need to touch me, just smile and I'll nut", to Chinese Granny Clampett. The massages have varied in quality and we all know how the endings vary. Last night I found one end of the total AMP experience scale.

Last night I was finishing late and wanted to squeeze in massage with at least a possibility of something beyond standard. With getting out of work after 9 and needing to get to an ATM, my options were somewhat limited. Too many places close at 9:30. I settled on the Firehouse, 86th Street, west of Michigan road.

Pulled in the empty lot at 9:15 and was greeted by an unattractive 40 something. She was stocky, but not really fat. Imagine a 3/4 scale shotputter. Or imagine Odd Job from the James Bond film, minus the hat and mustache.

I'll get to the pluses first. The place seemed clean, a full menu is available and she didn't use any oil.

I've had some bad massages. I've had a few terrible massages. At least I could call them massages. This was something like the "he's touching me" game played by kids, crossed with trying to get boogers off all your fingers simultaneously. You could get a better massage by posing as a piata at a kids birthday party.

Fortunately, it didn't last long and she was unable to cause lasting damage. The flip came after 12 minutes. The menu was presented and I chose the CFS option. I figured, if I'm going to have a terrible experience, I might as well make it as bad as possible.

CBJ was actually decent. CFS was full starfish mode with occasional light, fake moans. At least there was no odor issue. I finished as quick as possible, got cleaned up and suffered through 2 minutes of what she probably calls a facial massage. I didn't complain when she told me I was done with a full 20 minutes remaining of my hour.

On a scale of 1-10 I'd rate the whole thing as a 1. 3, with 0. 8 being for the piece of candy I picked up on my way out.

This is why I renewed my annual membership in this social club.

[Jjbee62]

I've finally found it. After more than 300 massages, I've found a reason to stop looking. First some background.

My first 150 massages were all with LMTs. Most were part of my physical therapy, some were just to work the knots out. Each was highly skilled and professional. No hint of any extras and I always kept at least my underwear on. All of them were quite attractive too, with the exception of Bob. He wasn't attractive to me.

Then I entered the AMP world. I've now had non-LMT massages in 3 states and 3 foreign countries. The masseues varied in looks from "you don't need to touch me, just smile and I'll nut", to Chinese Granny Clampett. The massages have varied in quality and we all know how the endings vary. Last night I found one end of the total AMP experience scale.

Last night I was finishing late and wanted to squeeze in massage with at least a possibility of something beyond standard. With getting out of work after 9 and needing to get to an ATM, my options were somewhat limited. Too many places close at 9:30. I settled on the Firehouse, 86th Street, west of Michigan road.

Pulled in the empty lot at 9:15 and was greeted by an unattractive 40 something. She was stocky, but not really fat. Imagine a 3/4 scale shotputter. Or imagine Odd Job from the James Bond film, minus the hat and mustache.

I'll get to the pluses first. The place seemed clean, a full menu is available and she didn't use any oil.

I've had some bad massages. I've had a few terrible massages. At least I could call them massages. This was something like the "he's touching me" game played by kids, crossed with trying to get boogers off all your fingers simultaneously. You could get a better massage by posing as a piñata at a kids birthday party.

Fortunately, it didn't last long and she was unable to cause lasting damage. The flip came after 12 minutes. The menu was presented and I chose the CFS option. I figured, if I'm going to have a terrible experience, I might as well make it as bad as possible.

CBJ was actually decent. CFS was full starfish mode with occasional light, fake moans. At least there was no odor issue. I finished as quick as possible, got cleaned up and suffered through 2 minutes of what she probably calls a facial massage. I didn't complain when she told me I was done with a full 20 minutes remaining of my hour.

On a scale of 1-10 I'd rate the whole thing as a 1. 3, with 0. 8 being for the piece of candy I picked up on my way out.

[Karma74]

This 5* for sure, they open at 9 am and was there at 9:06 and had to knock on door to get in. Place is very clean and she is a looker and her tits are like perfect. Massage was the best I ever had she worked out the knots I have had for the last couple of months. Her Hpapy ending was awesome and had my toes curling, she said no to BJ sign but who knows what might come later. She was happy with tip I left her and was nice she didn't negioate first to ruin the moment. On leaving she said Merry Christmas and gave me a big hug. She did say she would be there Christmas Day as well.

Thank you sir for the most excellent post. Best post I've seen in a minute in regards to an AMP.

[Karma74]

I guess TTFTT might be more appropriate here? Anyway:

A-Spa: As mentioned before, this place is just north of 31 & Stop 12, in a strip mall on the east side of the road. I visited on its second or third day open, earlier this month. Solo mddle-aged gal working, 6/10. I like taking an hour and she made good use of the time whose name I can't remember now. She gave a respectably good massage while I roamed as freely as I pleased. I didn't push for extra services, but I suspect they'd have been available. Standard house, standard finish, standard tip. I'll definitely be back.

8916: I don't think this place has a nickname, but I wouldn't worry about giving it one. It's in the strip mall behind CVS at County Line & 135. Solo worker, younger, 5/10. Took the hour here also. "Please silence your cell phone" sign didn't stop hers from going off three times, with another interruption for someone at the front door. Heated oil was nice and massage was decent. Room was lit by an unshaded nightlight that was distractingly bright even through closed eyes. She gave me a rather pointed 10-minute warning, and nudged me toward a self-service finish. I wasn't feeling it at all and declined. Standard house, no finish, $. 2 tip for the decent massage. Won't be back.

I don't tip at all without at least a HJ. We all should deny a tip when we get nada. IMO.

[Karma74]

I'm not sure what one it is either Tucson or Phoenix but it's the one in the back. There is a new girl there her name is Nicole and she looks like a China doll. Massage was ok and the happy ending was even better. She got completely naked with multiple positions. Will repeat. Total fee 140.

Damn bruh. Which one was it? LOL.

[Mil Explorer]

There used to be a few, but I believe Pizza Hut and 7000 have both closed. Went to the one behind BP on Perry Crossing when it first opened. Good massage, a few kisses, a little teasing, but no extras. Have not been back.

Visited the one across from Walmartin Plainfield a few times. Decent massage, OTC, and Sandard finish.

My last visit to Q spa was different from the norm. I didn't get much of a massage. She started with a kiss then climbed up on the bed with me. I believe there are 2 women there, but my last 3 visits paired me with the older of the 2. Still want to try the younger one!

The one by the Thortons. Didn't realize there was more than one on west Washington.

[Monsignor]

I'm not sure what one it is either Tucson or Phoenix but it's the one in the back. There is a new girl there her name is Nicole and she looks like a China doll. Massage was ok and the happy ending was even better. She got completely naked with multiple positions. Will repeat. Total fee 140.

The one in back is Phoenix.

[Monsignor]

Dunno why this lady gets stuck in my head so much. Suite G on Madison avenue was a long time ago but my search continues. If anyone has seen Cindy with the bonsai tree tattoo on her belly let me know.

My experiences.

Madison and Stop 11 - 3 time with 3 different ladies. All standard all clean and easy on the eyes. Nothing special but probably the best I've had recently.

Other places where it was just standard and wouldn't repeat.

Indy Massage on 10th.

Spring foot massage in Columbus / Edinburgh.

Hong Kong in Franklin.

Sweet Spa on Franklin.

Luna on East Washington.

Phoenix on National.

I've stopped into a few places to see if the lady that answered the door was my white whale but no luck.

Are you saying you didn't try for anything more, or you were unable to get more? The service level does change over time from place to place, but Indy, Sweet and Phoenix are established full service places.