"Sugarbabies" / "Arrangements" Amateurs or Not?

[Roxoff801]

Is it just me, or has SA changed the way they present messages? The old trick to read after your membership expires doesn't seem to work anymore.

This trick has been working for me on a Mac using Chrome. It worked as of this afternoon 6/11/19, but when I went to use it tonight, it no longer works. I go thru the same procedure as before, but now when it says upgrade to read, it just says approved and that is now as far as it goes. Did they finally close the loop hole?

[JoyDrop]

But lets say you're 41 and she 21; The example you gave. You can still keep up now, but in 10-15 years from now, you really aren't going to anymore. That is just the sad reality of aging. She will still be a young, hot, early 30's thing and you will be the old man. She will stray and you'll be left holding the bag.

That is the risk for sure. 20 years of separation is the very upper limit for me. I take good care of myself and am often told I look much younger than my 46 years. I think I'm going to hold up pretty well. Even so, it would definitely have its challenges, and my case, the only reason I would have even considered it is because of how fantastic my specific experience was with my long term girlfriend. She was naturally attracted to older men and regularly commented favorably on guys in their 50's and 60's. I felt like she would have been a pretty safe bet. It couldn't have worked out any worse than my current wife LOL. That said, my grandfather left my grandmother after 20 years of marriage for a secretary 20 years his junior, and sure enough, as he approached 75 she found herself a guy closer to her own age for extracurricular fun after work. So I'm well aware of the risks. Let me put it this way. If I'm on match, I am looking in the 10-12 year range. So long as I'm on seeking, bring on the hot twenty somethings.

Most of the girls I've developed feelings with, or opened up to, get attached. And I mean seriously attached. They are needing something in their lives, or to be able to understand something about their lives and I gave them that.

I'll cosign on this. This has absolutely been true in my experience as well.

This was some eight years back now, when I started in the bowl. But as I've aged in the past eight years, I've realized those days needed to end. (..) I've accepted the reality that this is a fantasy, maybe just for me, maybe for her as well, but it's not going anywhere.

I was where you are now. Early 40's new to the bowl, going out on real dates, making out in public, having sex in the bathroom with these girls, in my car in the downtown parking garage, getting shit faced drunk at the college bars, her showing me off to her friends, etc. I got to do the thing sI never did in my twenties and it was amazing. But those times are behind me as I've gotten older. So if you're able to still be in that zone with your babies? Enjoy it man, cause it don't last forever. Now, for me? I'm still the different SD to most of the girls I hang with. They open up to me, we snuggle, we fuck we might have dinner, but the idea that she views me as, "maybe this guy could really be something?" Well, those days are now passing me by.

This is exactly the transition I'm dealing with now as I come to the same realization as well. The long term relationship I described in my original post was the last one I'll ever have where I could entertain plausible thoughts of a future with a college aged girl. I am seeing a new girl now, she's 25 years younger than me and we've been together for 4 months. The relationship is great, she is officially my girlfriend and she gives me all of the attention I want and need. She's a constant presence in my life and our dates are fantastic. But there is absolutely zero chance of a future together. She's 100% OK with that as she's tired of college boys and seems very happy to have a mature guy in her life that treats her well. She's told me she could easily see us staying together until she gets out of college. That's not necessarily a bad thing, but for me, it's never going to be as fulfilling as a relationship with potential. I know I'm just borrowing her for a little while, and that's going to be the case with any girl 20+ years younger than me. I guess there are worse things in life than having a super hot 21 year old that wants to give you all of her time, attention and affection, right? #sugardaddyproblems.

[JoyDrop]

We recently split because she was pushing for marriage and kids. I've already been there and done that so it's not something I'm ready for. We still talk daily and see each other occasionally.

I remain friends and talk to several girls from SA and strip clubs that I've known for 9+ years.

That's always going to be an issue with the vast majority of girls in their 20's. I think had I been more eager to have another child, my girlfriend and I would have made it work. At the end she told me that if I was already divorced there was no question we would have settled down and gotten married. So timing was an issue, but I have had a vasectomy, so that was another obstacle. Although truth be told after 4+ years together, I'm 100% sure that vasectomy saved me more than once LOL.

Like you, I am still in contact with most of the girls I've seen for any length of time over the years. I've been fortunate to have some great experiences in the bowl and I've made some very good friends as a result.

[JoyDrop]

for the first four years of our five-year relationship, it was an absolutely out-of-this-world experience. Everything from the sex, to the teamwork, the effortless companionship, the mutual emotional support.

This. "Out of this world" is definitely one way to describe it. I called it magic, because for me, that's exactly how it felt. Everyone should experience a relationship like that at least once in their life.

I do not regret the relationship, it was pivotal in my life. I only regret not having the perspective to have made different choices at various inflection points late in the game.

That is exactly how I feel as well. My relationship has certainly informed my perspective in ways I could have never imagined or anticipated. I am still dealing with these realizations now, and it's giving me a lot to think about with respect to what I want out of life and what I need to be willing to do to find it.

I'm now with a new SB (...) I feel safe in the assumption that our parting will be bittersweet but amicable.

Experience is certainly the best teacher, isn't it? I'm glad you've found yourself in a better situation, and when the end does come, I hope it goes as well as you expect!

[RavensFan2012]

If you never actually met her, how do you know her pics are real?

Because I met her for a M&G.

[HollywoodGuy]

You can still keep up now, but in 10-15 years from now, you really aren't going to anymore. That is just the sad reality of aging. She will still be a young, hot, early 30's thing and you will be the old man. She will stray and you'll be left holding the bag. The sad reality of sugar dating is while it allows us to revisit our youth, or in my case, have the youth I never experienced when I was younger, it will end. It will somehow, someway always end.

I was where you are now. Early 40's new to the bowl, going out on real dates, making out in public, having sex in the bathroom with these girls, in my car in the downtown parking garage, getting shit faced drunk at the college bars, her showing me off to her friends, etc. I got to do the thing sI never did in my twenties and it was amazing. But those times are behind me as I've gotten older.

Woah there. I'm 65 and my current ATF is 19. At a minimum I am going to be 3 times the age of any girl I bang, as I almost never date anyone over 21. Have my abilities gone down? Sure. Being the over sexed perve that I was in my forties, I was good to go marathon style. But today with a little help from some V & C I can still get in a good hour if any girl can last that long. And lets face it, most girls don't even want to fuck for that long. Of course I keep the weight off as well. And sometimes I wonder where will I be at 70. Hopefully still banging away.

And staying with some girl till she is in her 30's? Who is doing that? Not me, thats for sure. If you can get a year or two out of any SB thats a home run in my book. Any girl that you take to the FC more than 50 times.. another home run. I like variety so no matter how many I love you's come out of my mouth, I am never that emotionally invested to the point where another hot young girl couldn't fix the loss of an ATF. I have dated the loyal types and the totally wild party girls. I prefer the party girls as they are usually less emotionally dependent. But not always.

And even when the sex really goes down or becomes impossible (which is really only intercourse, because nothing else is off the menu), there is still the joy of knowing you can have a beautiful, attentive, cuddly girl by your side that will let you make out and fondle her. I have encountered a couple of disabled SD's and they still had some game (one was 85). I imagine that they were like me... meaning this hobby is their only hobby. So why give it up. It's actually very comforting to know I will always be able to have a cute girl at any age. And def makes getting older a lot more palatable.

I don't visit this thread too often, but it seems to have gotten a little more interesting as of late. But I read all the SD threads as I like to see the differences across the country. And as usual, just my 2 cents.

[Ernest Ll]

She is not fake. But she does have massive GPS. I almost pulled the trigger once but after me agreeing to 7 she told me she would only hang for 30-45 min AND wanted to Uber her to the hotel lmao. At that point I said F this.

If you never actually met her, how do you know her pics are real?

[JustLonely]

Seems a little blunt but fun, Anyone?. https://www.seeking.com/member/1f1cd...7-0b45be96f605.

She has been around for a couple of years under various names.

A little too GPS when I contacted her last year.

[BStreet]

Seems a little blunt but fun, Anyone?. https://www.seeking.com/member/1f1cd...7-0b45be96f605.

[DirtyDeeds38]

Sure, I'll bite.

Let me start by saying this: Contrary to popular belief, not every girl on SA is on the site to get paid for sex. There are a lot of young women out there who are tired of dating immature guys their own age who don't have a clue how to treat a woman. For many of these girls, the idea of a "sugardaddy" is more about having an older, successful boyfriend that treats them well, mentors them, helps them figure life out, etc. Much more than it is the pay-to-play scenario so many of you assume. These are the girls I look for.

For context, I am married and locked in at home until my kids are older. I signed up for SA because I want the attention and affection of a part time girlfriend. I'm not interested in a pay-to-play transactional arrangement, I actually want a real relationship, or something very close to it. I've been lucky to have some extremely good experiences over the years.

My most recent relationship was with a girl I met on SA, I was 41 and she was 21. She was new to the site and I was the first guy she met. She disliked the term "sugarbaby" and didn't want money or any type of arrangement per se. She just wanted an older guy in her life that would help her and guide her. On our first date she told me she could never be exclusive to a married man, and for my part I told her I wouldn't get divorced until my kids were older. 4 weeks later she changed her mind. 4 years later, I changed mine.

We had incredible chemistry and an amazing connection right from the beginning. It was the type of effortless first date we all dream of, everything just fell into place and it just got better from there. The first year or so we kept everything very simple, casual and fun. I remember thinking how impressed I was that she didn't lose her perspective, we were exclusive to each other but she didn't get too emotionally attached. She honestly had a very mature outlook on it all. We both knew our relationship was never going to have a happy ending, but we were both happy and content to enjoy the ride as long as it lasted. She was an absolute go-getter, she worked very hard and soaked up the advice and guidance I gave her like a sponge. I taught her how to budget, I helped her pay off her credit card debt, I helped her with academic decisions and school projects, I helped her put herself in position for promotions at work and advance her career. All of which I found very rewarding, and she was always very good about expressing her appreciation of my efforts in ways that were very meaningful to me. Now just because we didn't have an "arrangement" doesn't mean I didn't contribute funds, because I most certainly did when times were tough for her. But in the grand scheme of things, it really wasn't much.

She lived about 2 hours from me, which was just about perfect. Not too close, not too far away. I would visit her for overnights when I was meeting with clients in her area, and it wasn't uncommon for us to meet halfway whenever we wanted to see each other outside of our regular weekly overnight dates. Over the course of our 4+ years together we spent the night together at least once a week for the entire stretch.

As far as the relationship goes, the first year was very casual. In our second year we started to get more emotionally involved, but we talked about it often and helped each other keep everything in check. We agreed that when the end did come, we would handle it with care and respect. As time went on I was concerned that I was keeping her off the market too long during the prime years of her life, but she always assured me that she was very happy and didn't want to be with anyone else. She promised she'd let me know if that changed. Two years turned into three and we continued to get more serious, we spent more time together and took several vacations together. In our fourth year everything changed. We were both extremely happy and started talking about what a life together might look like. By this time she was 25, we were very close, very much a team together and constantly motivating each other to be our best. She was young and vivacious, had an amazing spirit and took great care of me. From the beginning she gave me the best sex of my life, and right up to the end it kept getting better and better. It was honestly the best relationship I had ever been in, bar none. And I say that having enjoyed some really good relationships over the years.

Alas, all good things must come to an end. Eventually, after much discussion, she decided that it would be best if she found someone closer to her own age that could give her the more traditional life she had always dreamed of. She left the door open to something down the road, but said she knew she'd regret it if she didn't try. I couldn't blame her, and honestly, it was the right decision for her. I was still married after all. So toward the end of our fourth year together we spent several months working on our bucket list, doing those things we had always talked about but never gotten around to. I even took her to Paris for a week to celebrate our relationship, which was absolutely the trip of a lifetime. About a month after we got back we made plans for our last date; we went to the same restaurant where we had our first date and sat at the same table. It was bittersweet for sure. Afterwards we spent one last amazing night together and said our goodbyes in the morning. That was 7 months ago. We're still in touch, in fact we recently met for lunch to catch up. I do wish things were different. In another life we would have been extremely good together. But I admire her resolve. I don't think there are many girls her age who would be able to walk away from what we had together. I really respect that.

Some of you will ridicule the idea of getting seriously involved with a girl you meet on SA. For most girls on there, and certainly those offering pay-per-date arrangements, I would absolutely agree. It should be obvious that this was a very different situation, and even then my girl was the rarest of unicorns. But going back to the original question, my experience is proof positive that real relationships can and do happen. I found an amazing woman and had a better experience than I ever thought would have been possible. My bowl brother and I talk often about the importance of making great memories. I've been very fortunate to make more than my fair share.

I've been exactly where you are and done that. The first SB was over two years and turned real relationship. However, you have to keep in mind, the reality is, that when we are say under maybe age 55, we can still perform, keep up and revisit long lost things from our youth through these girls. But lets say you're 41 and she 21; The example you gave. You can still keep up now, but in 10-15 years from now, you really aren't going to anymore. That is just the sad reality of aging. She will still be a young, hot, early 30's thing and you will be the old man. She will stray and you'll be left holding the bag. The sad reality of sugar dating is while it allows us to revisit our youth, or in my case, have the youth I never experienced when I was younger, it will end. It will somehow, someway always end. Most of the girls I've developed feelings with, or opened up to, get attached. And I mean seriously attached. They are needing something in their lives, or to be able to understand something about their lives and I gave them that. This was some eight years back now, when I started in the bowl. But as I've aged in the past eight years, I've realized those days needed to end. I do not open up and get close to any of them anymore. I'm standoffish as I've accepted the reality that this is a fantasy, maybe just for me, maybe for her as well, but it's not going anywhere.

I was where you are now. Early 40's new to the bowl, going out on real dates, making out in public, having sex in the bathroom with these girls, in my car in the downtown parking garage, getting shit faced drunk at the college bars, her showing me off to her friends, etc. I got to do the thing sI never did in my twenties and it was amazing. But those times are behind me as I've gotten older. So if you're able to still be in that zone with your babies? Enjoy it man, cause it don't last forever. Now, for me? I'm still the different SD to most of the girls I hang with. They open up to me, we snuggle, we fuck we might have dinner, but the idea that she views me as, "maybe this guy could really be something?" Well, those days are now passing me by.

[PartyTimeGuy]

I have found video is my favorite keep sake. Is that something you do as well?

Yes. I take vids as well as still pics.

[Sterling44]

She is not fake. But she does have massive GPS. I almost pulled the trigger once but after me agreeing to 7 she told me she would only hang for 30-45 min AND wanted to Uber her to the hotel lmao. At that point I said F this.

She's definitely not a fake, but she is expensive.

[Truncated]

Why don't you just send money from your regular PayPal account to your sugar account?

If you do that often enough, you'll get both PP accounts suspended.

[RavensFan2012]

Fake, fake fake fake.

She is not fake. But she does have massive GPS. I almost pulled the trigger once but after me agreeing to 7 she told me she would only hang for 30-45 min AND wanted to Uber her to the hotel lmao. At that point I said F this.

[HabsBurg]

How do you mean that? I have been on the PayPal site, I don't see Bitcoin as one of the methods of payment taken. The SB doesn't have bitcoin, she has PayPal, I really do need to get the $ onto my sugar PayPal account, as I said.

Why don't you just send money from your regular PayPal account to your sugar account?