"Sugarbabies" / "Arrangements" Amateurs or Not?

[DogBert77]

I presume, like me, all of you SDs have a 'life list' that you are updating with each score of a SB. Please dish, exactly how are you saving up those memories? And doing it safely, away from prying eyes? FFA.

Gee, I feel sort of like a slacker that I don't. I've only been in the bowl six months and I'm already forgetting some of the girls. I certainly don't have anything that lists every score in my LIFE. That's inconceivable. I do have a few photos of memorable SB's I would like to keep. I am really low tech about it. I just email them to myself using my monger email, then save them in a folder. There is probably something wrong with that approach, but I'm not sure what it is.

[Walruscl]

I presume, like me, all of you SDs have a 'life list' that you are updating with each score of a SB. Please dish, exactly how are you saving up those memories? And doing it safely, away from prying eyes? FFA.

I'm not compiling the equivalent of notches in my belt, but I do I have Aegis secure USB stick, which has some photos and video that I would not want anyone else to see. For my own sake, and more importantly, my former SB's sake. I also use it to make snapshots of financial and other important data that I would want disaster-proof but also inaccessible to only me.

[FarFarAway]

I presume, like me, all of you SDs have a 'life list' that you are updating with each score of a SB. Please dish, exactly how are you saving up those memories? And doing it safely, away from prying eyes? FFA.

[Skidxxx]

I will be traveling to your state this Thursday. Staying in Reston VA. I'm looking for advice on what towns to search on SA. Also if anyone knows any babies that are traveler friendly in that area?

[TomDickNHarry]

Agree, many of the sob stories are true, it's usually why they're doing this. But yes, falling for it as a reason you should provide something over and above the agreement / norm or an advance is literally insane. If it's an advance, she'll ghost, and if it's extra sugar the stories will keep on coming and if you don't continue the additional help, then she ghosts in search of the next sucker.

I say no always, and almost always they keep seeing me (though sometimes the request turns me off and I move on). But the reality is usually they are seeing more than one guy and I suspect the others are not saying no, even had one tell me as much after one of our 2+ hour FC visits for 200. The way she talked about the other daddy was almost contemptuous BTW, wasn't even a hint of gratitude. My guess is that they on some level look at guys who fall for it the same way I do, as a sucker or a mark.

I would say yes and no.

Yes, I actually do believe that a lot of these girls have pretty crazy lives, are irresponsible, and have a lot of bad shit happen to them. No, I don't let my belief or disbelief affect the amount or timing of what I give them. I give them a modest donation AFTER I have had sex with them. I don't mind whether they use the whole amount to get their nails done at the most expensive salon in town, or to bail their deadbeat dad out of jail, or whatever. If they need more, we need to schedule another visit, assuming their performance warrants it. I don't pay more per visit, and I don't pay in advance. If my donation can help them with their run of bad luck, great, everybody is happy. If their misfortunes are so monumental that incremental donations are of no use? Next!

My take on the whole thing is that at the end of the day, of course it's a financial transaction. If you met the same girl behind the counter of your local coffee shop, are you going to give her $400 for a $4 latte because her car got towed that morning? I do everything I can not to rub their noses in the financial realities, in the hope and expectation that they will provide an experience that doesn't feel transactional, but none of that changes how much or when they get paid.

[TomDickNHarry]

Congrats on getting that far.

I agree with the advice of the others on here mentioned on two fronts, one you can't sign for it or anything like that, and the no roomie thing is a red flag. She's either got issues, or just as likely playing you as really not in all that bad a situation, more looking for sort of a perfect situation if she can get it. If you'll take care of getting her own place, why not? But if she has to risk a shitty roomie, forget it, she'll stick where she is.

I probably wouldn't quite move on, if only just b / c I hadn't hit it tbh, and the BJ tells you that she's going to get there imo. I'd say this is something you'd like to help with, and probably could figure out a way to do so if this was going to be an ongoing arrangement (partially true). But you haven't established that there is the type of chemistry that you can both be confident that it would make sense (I. E. Need to do a full FC or two). Don't make any promises, but still provide her generous sugar for those meetings. If she blows your socks off, an don't want to lose her, look on CL for sublets or the like where she can do it personally and you just put up the cash.

Good news, and unexpected twist.

Week 6: She agreed to go to a movie again on a Monday. Again, no one else in the theater for that show (lucky me). This time, one more step ahead. She gave me a blow job (showed inexperience, but a good experience nevertheless). She allowed me touching her under the panties while we was working on my jr. Didn't swallow, spit it out. All good and happy. I upped the allowance to 150.

Week 7: Here is the twist. Two days after the movie date, she texted me asking if I could help her renting an apartment. Either I have to get it on my name or co-sign the lease. She has no credit rating and has no one to co-sign. She told me earlier when we first met that she doesn't like the situation at home and trying to find her own place. According to her, her dad is an asshole. He does contracting, building, construction type of work. He expects her and her brothers to do all the work related to his construction (carpentry etc) at home and pays nothing. And she doesn't have time to do a job. Also her dad seems to be bitching about that she is 19 and not paying rent to him. Her mom is not in a capacity to help her out either. She told me at least twice before that she was looking for places to move out, but never asked my help. In fact she has never asked any help or told me any sob stories. It is possible she planned this all along and waiting for the right time to tell me. I asked her other options like moving in with a friend etc. She is not keen to have a roommate. She has found this apartment very close to her nursing school and reasonable rent etc, The rent per month is well below 1000 which is fine with me given the allowance I would give someone for about 4 meet per month. But, I am not comfortable with getting into such situation where I am connected to her with a paper trail and this is too early to reveal my identity. I have not committed to her yet although I didn't say no either. We haven't met after that. I see the frequency of texts from her is going down. I think I am at a crossroads here and tell her what I choose. I will most likely let this go. Yes, I like her and she could be a great SB if I help her out here. But, still out of my comfort zone.

Stay Safe.

Dr. S.

[PartyTimeGuy]

Its the sob stories that separate the ass worth having from the crazy chaff.

I think I have heard almost everything, but there is always a new sob story that tops the previous.

One SB was getting divorced, couldn't stand being with her hubby even one more day and needed a place to stay. Like semi-permanently. She was willing to clean and cook and let me have my way with her any time I wanted. I thought better of that and all the potential problems, so I alternatively suggested 100 a meet to help with expenses. She jumped at it and I had the best times with her for several months before I moved on to the inevitable variety of pussy out there for hire.

[Ernest Ll]

I follow the same. Almost all the girls you find on SA are financially irresponsible. I do try to advise them, but I have no huge expectation they are going to change. Whether I give an allowance or how much is solely dependent on what she delivers (only after the delivery is done). I have done "monthly allowance", but it is just a guarantee from me that how many meets per month from my end, but not advancing money beforehand for the month. Whatever the sob stories they tell (some may actually be true), I try to help them with advice, but not advancing money.

I've met several college grads who have been laid off or under-employed or just in low paying work (I guess you can consider going into debt for a Masters to become a teacher as being financially irresponsible, but so it going to a private college for a liberal arts degree, so the entire generation is financially irresponsible).

Its the sob stories that separate the ass worth having from the crazy chaff.

As for advancing, I've only done it for two Long Term SBs and it was well worth it. Never more than one allowance -- and for one of the gals in particular, after about 6 months we stopped keeping track of allowances / orgasms. She'd just tell me what she needed help with -- pet deposit for new apartment, new tires -- and then we'd meet and she'd arrange for a pay the hotel and pretty much tie herself up for me to have my way with her. She liked that it did not feel transactional which really made her feel comfortable and totally uninhibited. She literally dripped with gratitude.

Granted such situations are quite rare -- takes time and a non-crazy SB to get there, but the pay off is pretty amazing.

But one thing Ill second -- giving advice on how not to be a financial train wreck can also be a strong aphrodisiac. These gals are looking for a father figure to help them navigate adulthood. Whether its helping them find renter's insurance, getting a better / cheaper cell plan, evaluating job options, reviewing grad school applications or feeding them job leads (the aforementioned gal now has a much higher paying, FT job she loves thanks to my finding a lead and encouraging her to apply) -- and it helps them see you in a non-monger light -- "he's helping me and I did not HAVE to blow him" -- which leads to some great thank you sex.

[Ernest Ll]

What's a good location to stay in RVA area if in town for a few days and want to meet some POTS?

(Hotels downtown seem expensive -- looking for nice rooms and things to do nearby but better value than downtown Richmond).

What is the price difference?

Depending on the kind of POTs you are targeting, the nicer digs can facilitate nakedness. I don't like seeing pros who stay at the No Tell Motels, so chances are an SB would rather be near a cool bar and then be banged in a nicer establishment. Plus they tend to have better furniture, bathrooms and other accoutrements for creativity.

[PartyTimeGuy]

Took her to a big basketball watching party for the games narrowing to the sweet 16. She dressed appropriately in a dress that looks uncannily like she's a sexy referee. A good time at the party and lots of alcohol led to the hotel room where she showed me how much she enjoyed herself by having me enjoy myself immensely. She can suck for hours when she is high on booze and so she did. Then we proceeded to try every position I know. Reverse cowgirl up the ass was the conclusion the third time and it was my favorite because her ass is awesome to watch bobbing up and down on me like a sensual merry go round.

Life IS good my brothers.

[DogBert77]

Answer is no. Not in your comfort zone and if she really wanted out, a roommate would be fine. That's your warning sign.

Second this. Always stay in your comforts zone. However, you have some time invested in this one and haven't made it to home plate yet. So maybe it's worth another try to find a living situation that will work for her. Look on Craigslist or someplace and show her the listings of people looking for room mates. Maybe there is something that will appeal. A lot of people who need a room mate are willing to forgo the security deposit and lease, etc. Not many would let her move in without the first month's rent in hand, so you are quite there yet, but I say invest a little more effort in trying to work something out that (1) keeps you in you comfort zone; and (2) get you in her pants.

[Walruscl]

Answer is no. Not in your comfort zone and if she really wanted out, a roommate would be fine. That's your warning sign.

As much as I adore and miss my former SB, she absolutely insisted she could not live with roommates. The one time she tried was with her best friend from HS (I was there to watch the slow motion train wreck), and to my knowledge she has still irrevocably wrecked that friendship. These sorts of personal limitations are fine as long as they remain NYP (Not Your Problem). But once they do (from firsthand experience), it is decidedly not a good thing. So it being out of your comfort zone (even apart from the co-signed lease) is a good instinct.

[LikItFun]

Was having a fantastic conversation by text with this one, and then she ghosted. Anyone have any luck with her?

https://www.seeking.com/member/08cbb...9-6aaf2f194a92

[Cabsauv1997]

She is not keen to have a roommate.

Answer is no. Not in your comfort zone and if she really wanted out, a roommate would be fine. That's your warning sign.

[DrSummer]

Good news, and unexpected twist.

Week 6: She agreed to go to a movie again on a Monday. Again, no one else in the theater for that show (lucky me). This time, one more step ahead. She gave me a blow job (showed inexperience, but a good experience nevertheless). She allowed me touching her under the panties while we was working on my jr. Didn't swallow, spit it out. All good and happy. I upped the allowance to 150.

Week 7: Here is the twist. Two days after the movie date, she texted me asking if I could help her renting an apartment. Either I have to get it on my name or co-sign the lease. She has no credit rating and has no one to co-sign. She told me earlier when we first met that she doesn't like the situation at home and trying to find her own place. According to her, her dad is an asshole. He does contracting, building, construction type of work. He expects her and her brothers to do all the work related to his construction (carpentry etc) at home and pays nothing. And she doesn't have time to do a job. Also her dad seems to be bitching about that she is 19 and not paying rent to him. Her mom is not in a capacity to help her out either. She told me at least twice before that she was looking for places to move out, but never asked my help. In fact she has never asked any help or told me any sob stories. It is possible she planned this all along and waiting for the right time to tell me. I asked her other options like moving in with a friend etc. She is not keen to have a roommate. She has found this apartment very close to her nursing school and reasonable rent etc, The rent per month is well below 1000 which is fine with me given the allowance I would give someone for about 4 meet per month. But, I am not comfortable with getting into such situation where I am connected to her with a paper trail and this is too early to reveal my identity. I have not committed to her yet although I didn't say no either. We haven't met after that. I see the frequency of texts from her is going down. I think I am at a crossroads here and tell her what I choose. I will most likely let this go. Yes, I like her and she could be a great SB if I help her out here. But, still out of my comfort zone.

Stay Safe.

Dr. S.

Few of you asked an update on my platonic girl experiment. Here is the update.

Background: 19 yes old cute girl who says platonic only and said "no sex" during chatting and at the first meet up (but open for some 'fooling around). I am trying this as an experiment to see if I can convert her to go to FC. Difficult task I know. But, I have 3 regular SB's in rotation, this is just a side project.

Week 1: First meet for a coffee. Good connection. Made plans for a date in a week.

Week 2: Made plans to go see a movie. Texts me about 2 hrs prior to the agreed time that she couldn't make it as she had to babysit her sister's kids. But, promised a date next week.

Week 3: Made plans for a movie. She showed up. I got last raw seats. But the place was crowded. In to about 10 min to movie, we started some fun. She allowed touching almost anywhere over the cloths. I actually felt she was wet. I didn't try going under the cloths. There were people on either side of our seats. We did lots of deep kissing. That's the extent I could go that day. Gift was 100.

Week 4: I proposed a dinner at her favorite restaurant. She showed up. Had nice dinner. After, the dinner I asked if we could spend about 10 to 20 min "alone time" in my car at a quiet place. She said she was in a hurry to get back home. I didn't push. Gift was 0 (I was testing her and sending a message), but of course paid for the dinner.

Week 5: Typically she texts right after she gets home. After the dinner, she didn't text me for about 2 days. May be she was not happy about the lack of allowance after the dinner. But, she texted to propose a movie again. Set for the Saturday. The morning on the date, she texts and postpones the date for Monday night. I was OK. She showed up Monday night. Two of us were the only people in the theater for that show. Things happened quicker than first time. Lots of deep kissing and cuddling. However, she didn't let me reach that area claiming she was on period (may be true, she let me touch last time). I was reaching to her boobs over the shirt, she pulled the shirt and bra up, let me touch and suck. I was trying to get her to touch my Jr. She was not that enthusiastic. After a while I jokingly told her a about the possibility of blue balls, and if she could help me out. She agreed to a hand job, but didn't want "stuff" on her hand as there was not place to wash. I pulled a condom from my pocket and she gave me hand job to completion. Asked about a blow job, she said not sure, may be next time. It was better than expected. The gift was 100.

We have been chatting after that and making plans for next meet. She has very desirable qualities I like from a SB. Very clean, and always smells great. No drama, no sob stories yet. Doesn't give the vibe of desperation or needy. Never complained about allowance or asked about it. But, I know she is in for the allowance as any other SB is. Now she knows that what I am after and she seems to be going along. I still am skeptical if I could hit the home run with her. May be not at least in the near future. But, want to keep it going.

You veterans, any suggestions what my next move should be? Am I going too fast or slow?

Stay safe guys, and I will update.

Dr. S.