"Sugarbabies" / "Arrangements" Amateurs or Not?

[Walruscl]

I try to steer clear of married ones. Too many things that can go wrong. If she says they are in an open relationship, ask her if she minds if you talk to him to confirm (if you don't mind cutting bait that is, because 99% of the time you won't hear from her after that).

Not that I haven't banged plenty of married women in the past, but they were usually civy bar finds and a lot of times I didn't know they were married until they took me back to their house while their hubby was away. I do sometimes meet married SBs but it is few and far between. They also tend to come with rules and restrictions that can annoy, like they can only meet in the morning etc. That doesn't start to take into consideration the possibility of things like the hubby finding out and putting up a website dedicated to ruining your professional reputation (for those of us that care about that sort of thing).

Hear ya, and will definitely factor that in. In this case I'm hearing things like her already having a steady BF, that her husband usually vets new play-partners, that sort of thing. So I think the polyamory is real and functional. Early on I was able to establish a lot of cred because my SB (I referred to her as my GF, which isn't all that far from the truth) is poly, so there was a lot of discussion about those dynamics and how I navigated them.

I have to say, even sugar-dating a poly when you have been indoctrinated in traditional monogamous relationships can be very challenging, and so far I've welcomed those challenges and seemed to fare well. The two poly women I've sugared seemed to think it was a slam-dunk win-win, but what I've personally found is that sex is just so extremely casual for them that it can totally lack spark and passion. If I weren't so enamored with the dating aspect of my current SB I would have given up awhile ago, as the sex side of things has been unusually challenging.

[JZLizard]

I don't have the problem of an SO to worry about, and in this specific case (and in general on civvie sites, if I can get my game up sufficiently well) I'm not looking for an SB. Already got one of those, don't feel like forking out even more $.

The relationship-mindedness problem in this specific instance is lessened by the fact that this is a married polyamorous woman, so unlikely she's going to get clingy. She's talking a really good game on the dating site's messaging, but I'm at a loss at how to move beyond talk-is-cheap. Don't get me wrong, the sexting is fun (no pics, just free-association playing out of dom / sub scenarios), and I'm willing to be patient. But I'm having trouble differentiating between two scenarios. One, someone who just isn't sure what they really want yet. Two, someone who's getting off on the sexting alone and keeps it more intense by not letting on that it's her end game rather than the path to a next step.

I try to steer clear of married ones. Too many things that can go wrong. If she says they are in an open relationship, ask her if she minds if you talk to him to confirm (if you don't mind cutting bait that is, because 99% of the time you won't hear from her after that).

Not that I haven't banged plenty of married women in the past, but they were usually civy bar finds and a lot of times I didn't know they were married until they took me back to their house while their hubby was away. I do sometimes meet married SBs but it is few and far between. They also tend to come with rules and restrictions that can annoy, like they can only meet in the morning etc. That doesn't start to take into consideration the possibility of things like the hubby finding out and putting up a website dedicated to ruining your professional reputation (for those of us that care about that sort of thing).

Married women tend to be VERY careless about their meetings and communications, too. Often texting their lover on the same phone her hubby pays the bill for. They figure if they get caught maybe their hubby will start appreciating them more and giving them attention again. They typically don't care if he buys a gun and stalks their ex-lover simultaneously while rekindling their marriage, their lover has served his purpose at that point.

If a hot chick wants to suck on my cock I typically don't over analyze the situation or worry about the above, but usually the married ones aren't as hot as the non-married and to me just aren't worth the extra risk. The risk is escalated in the civy-dating scene, because they have little to no motive to hide what they are doing. Mainstream media / society now fully supports the female in the above scenario, she is automatically assumed to be the victim of a husband that didn't try hard enough. She wins either way. The lover never really wins anything... free pussy maybe but in most cases, better free pussy was available from another non-married one.

Not to mention legal, physical, and emotional risks involved.

[JustLonely]

I have a person who favorited me with out actually viewing me. Is that possible?

Even if they view your profile don't assume they have read it thoroughly. I have had three dates with SB's who hadn't noticed I was married.

[Apothecary]

Yup, through search when SB / SD list appears, you can just click on "heart icon" and that person will be Favorited.

I have a person who favorited me with out actually viewing me. Is that possible?

[BobbyRichmond]

I have a person who favorited me with out actually viewing me. Is that possible?

[Walruscl]

Many good times to be found on civy sites, depending on how much time you have to put in it. It can also be a bit risky for a married man unless you find one that's okay with a traveling daddy, since a lot of civy finds tend to assume your local. The SA crowd by nature seems to be more location-agnostic. I've gotten some of my best pussy from civy sites, but the type of SD that wants to avoid involvement / emotional commitment at all costs (that's me) is going to find some issues there, because the SBs you find tend to be more relationship-minded, and in general more clingy. At least that was my experience.

I don't have the problem of an SO to worry about, and in this specific case (and in general on civvie sites, if I can get my game up sufficiently well) I'm not looking for an SB. Already got one of those, don't feel like forking out even more $.

The relationship-mindedness problem in this specific instance is lessened by the fact that this is a married polyamorous woman, so unlikely she's going to get clingy. She's talking a really good game on the dating site's messaging, but I'm at a loss at how to move beyond talk-is-cheap. Don't get me wrong, the sexting is fun (no pics, just free-association playing out of dom / sub scenarios), and I'm willing to be patient. But I'm having trouble differentiating between two scenarios. One, someone who just isn't sure what they really want yet. Two, someone who's getting off on the sexting alone and keeps it more intense by not letting on that it's her end game rather than the path to a next step.

[JohnRichard]

I'd say it's just a matter of brain development plus life experience. The executive function matures around 22-24, and then at that point the older SB's are gaining more life experience, and develop a different perspective. The 18-22's are still more impulsive, have very short time horizons, limited risk assessment, etc. So when you get a good one in the younger crowd, they are more likely to take your lead without applying a lot of analytical skills to the equation. Benefits / negatives to both dynamics, all depends on what you're looking for.

Usually the younger ones are willing to take on more risk with the expectation a payday. There was a recent study on teenage brain development that found teenagers are willing to take more risks than any other age group. The older ones have more to protect in their lives so they will be willing to take smaller risks.

Then you need to start figuring out how to manage this risk aversion so they get comfy with you, or identify the 'loco' ones who did not lose their ability to take risk.

[JZLizard]

Now that my game is leveled up a bit, I've branched out a bit into civvie dating. I've got this poly woman almost on the hook, who has a serious Daddy-Dom / Little-Girl thing going on. But holy crap, getting her over the threshold makes SA look like a walk in the park. Good practice I guess, and less $$, but just, wow.

Many good times to be found on civy sites, depending on how much time you have to put in it. It can also be a bit risky for a married man unless you find one that's okay with a traveling daddy, since a lot of civy finds tend to assume your local. The SA crowd by nature seems to be more location-agnostic. I've gotten some of my best pussy from civy sites, but the type of SD that wants to avoid involvement / emotional commitment at all costs (that's me) is going to find some issues there, because the SBs you find tend to be more relationship-minded, and in general more clingy. At least that was my experience.

[Walruscl]

Now that my game is leveled up a bit, I've branched out a bit into civvie dating. I've got this poly woman almost on the hook, who has a serious Daddy-Dom / Little-Girl thing going on. But holy crap, getting her over the threshold makes SA look like a walk in the park. Good practice I guess, and less $$, but just, wow.

[Walruscl]

Contrary to general consensus, I am having more success and less headache lately with younger SBs (18-22 yr) than older ones (25-35). Almost all my SBs that I hit FC in last 4 months are in 18-22 range. They are either extremely flaky and GPS or DTF. Nothing in between. Actually less drama than older SBs. When I hit FC with them it is always a blast. I can easily detect GPS, but flaky is hard to figure out, I guess I have to get better at detecting clues. My problem with older SBs (25-35), they over-analyze everything, they want to know all about me. It is more like a relationship than an arrangement. I really don't want to deal with that. With younger girls, if you manage them to show up for the date, the rest is easy. Are you guys having the same experience, or I am wondering it is how I approach them?

Stay Safe.

Dr. S.

I'd say it's just a matter of brain development plus life experience. The executive function matures around 22-24, and then at that point the older SB's are gaining more life experience, and develop a different perspective. The 18-22's are still more impulsive, have very short time horizons, limited risk assessment, etc. So when you get a good one in the younger crowd, they are more likely to take your lead without applying a lot of analytical skills to the equation. Benefits / negatives to both dynamics, all depends on what you're looking for.

[DrSummer]

Contrary to general consensus, I am having more success and less headache lately with younger SBs (18-22 yr) than older ones (25-35). Almost all my SBs that I hit FC in last 4 months are in 18-22 range. They are either extremely flaky and GPS or DTF. Nothing in between. Actually less drama than older SBs. When I hit FC with them it is always a blast. I can easily detect GPS, but flaky is hard to figure out, I guess I have to get better at detecting clues. My problem with older SBs (25-35), they over-analyze everything, they want to know all about me. It is more like a relationship than an arrangement. I really don't want to deal with that. With younger girls, if you manage them to show up for the date, the rest is easy. Are you guys having the same experience, or I am wondering it is how I approach them?

Stay Safe.

Dr. S.

[DrSummer]

You are asking some good questions. Let me add my thoughts here. I have been using SA for just over a year (on and off). During that period, I have met well over 50 girls, and took about 30 girls to FC. I think my success rate is reasonable given that I am over 50. More than half the number of girls that I took to FC are in 18-22 yr range. Mostly college girls. I should say that sugar dating is not for the weak-hearted. If you want to score genuine SBs, you have to take some risks with out compromising your identity. My first SA profile had no photo, I was adamant not to send any photos to girls. All I attracted were escorts. No genuine SB is going to meet you without having an idea how you look like. Every time I renewed SA membership I corrected all my information in my profile as accurate as possible and added more photos (or sent photos via text or kik). I began to get response and interest from genuine SBs I am after and more and more FC visits with these girls. I firmly believe that having a profile photo makes the response rate go up. When I view girls on SA I immediately relate my thoughts to her profile photo. I am sure these girls do the same. These girls get lots of messages, you have to stand out and make them remember you. My public profile photo is a unique one at a unique angle without the face and without revealing my identity. In my profile, I say I expect discretion but happy to share more photos after chat. That way they get more confidence that I am genuine.

In my experience, when a girl favorited me without a message, it doesn't mean anything. So far I was not successful hitting FC with a girl who just favorited me without a message. I ignore them. I have my true income info on site, that way they know what I can afford and what I can't. Gold diggers are not going to come after me. Believe me or not, most of these genuine SBs appreciate honesty and straightforwardness.

Hope this helps. Everyone has his own way of approaching girls. Depends on what you are after. I am after college girl types with reasonable allowance, and my approach seems to be working so far as I am getting the desired results.

Good luck and play safe.

Dr. S.

I am relatively new to SA though I have had some limited success there.

Several things I have been thinking about and I am interested in others opinions or experiences based on what you have observed. So what are your thoughts on when a person favorites you? I am talking about local not someone from another country. I assume it means that person has read your profile and they have some interest in at least chatting. But then I think, why didn't they just message you and say hello, check out my profile and message me back if you want to chat. Just curious as to your thoughts on what message is it they are trying to convey.

If you favorite someone, what message are you trying to convey to that person?

I have chosen not to complete anything in regard to my annual income or net worth. The main reason is while I understand that is an important part of the deal, I don't really want that to be the main reason someone reaches out to you or responds to you. Interested to know if most people complete that, if so how honest about it are you and how important do you think it is as part of your profile.

I don't have any pictures posted on my profile because of discretion. Absolutely could not have pictures of my face floating around on line. I know that when I am looking at SA, I really don't pay much attention to profiles with no picture and I am wondering if that is the same situation with SB's. Just curious about peoples thoughts and opinions.

Hopefully this post will spark some good conversation that is helpful and informative for all.

[Walruscl]

Most of the local ones that favorite me have NOT read my profile. Most are UTR or escorts. Some are brand new and just click on those hearts for fun I think. I can't remember ever having one that favorited me ever lead to a M&G. I have seen a few that I have messaged and we have started a conversation that later favorite me. I assume that is because they have a lot of messages and need a way to track the ones they like the most.

I rarely favorite anyone as I prefer to just go ahead and message them. My best luck in December has been with women who have age range up to 60 listed as I am showing 57 on my current profile. I can pass for younger than that as I stay in shape and barely have any gray in my blonde hair. No public pic and the private one is long distance. They only get closeup if we are texting and headed to a meet up.

I'm about to flake / blow-off a M&G that only got to the point of semi-arranged (that I only had about 10% of her focus was one clue, hence "semi- The bigger clue and the commonality is that neither POT wanted access to my private photos, which have more informative face pics. So they want to meet without actually seeing me (my public one has my face obscured due to the composition of the shot)? Big red flag, one that's about to be a big filter for me.

[JustLonely]

I am relatively new to SA though I have had some limited success there.

Several things I have been thinking about and I am interested in others opinions or experiences based on what you have observed. So what are your thoughts on when a person favorites you? I am talking about local not someone from another country. I assume it means that person has read your profile and they have some interest in at least chatting. But then I think, why didn't they just message you and say hello, check out my profile and message me back if you want to chat. Just curious as to your thoughts on what message is it they are trying to convey.

If you favorite someone, what message are you trying to convey to that person?

I have chosen not to complete anything in regard to my annual income or net worth. The main reason is while I understand that is an important part of the deal, I don't really want that to be the main reason someone reaches out to you or responds to you. Interested to know if most people complete that, if so how honest about it are you and how important do you think it is as part of your profile.

I don't have any pictures posted on my profile because of discretion. Absolutely could not have pictures of my face floating around on line. I know that when I am looking at SA, I really don't pay much attention to profiles with no picture and I am wondering if that is the same situation with SB's. Just curious about peoples thoughts and opinions.

Hopefully this post will spark some good conversation that is helpful and informative for all.

Most of the local ones that favorite me have NOT read my profile. Most are UTR or escorts. Some are brand new and just click on those hearts for fun I think. I can't remember ever having one that favorited me ever lead to a M&G. I have seen a few that I have messaged and we have started a conversation that later favorite me. I assume that is because they have a lot of messages and need a way to track the ones they like the most.

I rarely favorite anyone as I prefer to just go ahead and message them. My best luck in December has been with women who have age range up to 60 listed as I am showing 57 on my current profile. I can pass for younger than that as I stay in shape and barely have any gray in my blonde hair. No public pic and the private one is long distance. They only get closeup if we are texting and headed to a meet up.

[RappaHannock]

I am relatively new to SA though I have had some limited success there.

Several things I have been thinking about and I am interested in others opinions or experiences based on what you have observed. So what are your thoughts on when a person favorites you? I am talking about local not someone from another country. I assume it means that person has read your profile and they have some interest in at least chatting. But then I think, why didn't they just message you and say hello, check out my profile and message me back if you want to chat. Just curious as to your thoughts on what message is it they are trying to convey.

If you favorite someone, what message are you trying to convey to that person?

I have chosen not to complete anything in regard to my annual income or net worth. The main reason is while I understand that is an important part of the deal, I don't really want that to be the main reason someone reaches out to you or responds to you. Interested to know if most people complete that, if so how honest about it are you and how important do you think it is as part of your profile.

I don't have any pictures posted on my profile because of discretion. Absolutely could not have pictures of my face floating around on line. I know that when I am looking at SA, I really don't pay much attention to profiles with no picture and I am wondering if that is the same situation with SB's. Just curious about peoples thoughts and opinions.

Hopefully this post will spark some good conversation that is helpful and informative for all.