"Sugarbabies" / "Arrangements" Amateurs or Not?

[BigTigger]

Using the SA App, if they swipe right, it will fav you without them looking at your profile.

I have a person who favorited me with out actually viewing me. Is that possible?

[JZLizard]

I don't assume all women in the bowl are scammers, rinsers, have GPS or are Pros but I know many of them are. I've learned how to filter them out. That education was gained thru experience and some expensive mistakes. Reading this forum has helped me shorten that education process. If I get taken now, I blame myself for not recognizing the Red flags.

Any girl that talks about "knowing my worth" is an immediate red flag for me.

I agree, I don't like to see "I know my worth" either -- I rarely even contact them when I see that. I think it takes experience in the bowl to understand what parts of the girls profile should be ignored, and what part should be considered an important clue.

For example, if they talk about platonic intentions / not in it for sex, etc... they really mean "unless I'm attracted to you". But, if they start describing themselves as sassy, bitchy, demanding etc. Then almost without fail it turns out to be true, and it's not something that is easily overcome, so adjectives like those should be taken under instant consideration.

[JZLizard]

Educate yourself about this ladies and watch what they think of men and how you are being use because you are being use or you willing to be go to youtube type sugardady tecnics or tips".

"Blanket thinking" is universally reached for first because it's human nature. It is easy to assume that the boundaries of life are confined to our own personal experiences, and it is much harder to widen our understanding to fully take into consideration the experiences of others. This is what leads to the symptoms of narrow-minded people, who believe people are very easily categorized (I. E. All SBs are this or that).

Guys with lots of game find it very hard to believe that any SD would give a girl thousands per month in cash and gifts (but they are out there). Guys without game who haven't had much luck getting pussy without paying for it, believe that all SBs are hookers.

The reality of it is that the range of personalities and human behaviors is beyond the comprehension of most people.

I think this syndrome has actually been made worse by the Internet, because now, the average person with the average IQ believes that all facts about life show up in the first couple of pages of a Google search on any given topic. They do not even take into consideration the fact that Google is fundamentally a marketing company, not an information company. This means that what shows up in Google, Youtube, etc. Search results is based on an algorithm which will always be maximized to support Google's business model. It is not optimized to produce the most valuable information.

Ergo, because it's the first to show up in search results does not necessarily mean it is the most correct representation of the truth.

The reality is that the spectrum of SBs can run the gamut from full-on escorts at one side of the extreme, to girls with very little sexual experience at the other end of the extreme. Anyone who doesn't understand that is not experienced enough in the lifestyle for their opinions to be taken seriously on any level.

They are simply content to believe what they want to believe; and it's a case of arrested development that they are unlikely to ever be able to move past. They will never learn the truth because they've already confined themselves to what they believe they already know. They have one foot nailed to the floor and are running around in circles complaining about their condition, when they are the ones who drove the nail themselves. Whether their unfortunate condition is "Nature vs. Nurture", genetics versus experience, I don't know, but until they grow a pair of balls and take the initiative to recognize and change their own misfortune, they are sentenced to a lifetime of never getting pussy unless they pay for it.

When you're fishing in the waters of multiple large metros across multiple states, and the total population of all CSAs that you can select girls from is in the 10-20 million range, you get a much clearer overall picture than SDs who are casting lines only in their own hometown or area and basing their opinions on a much smaller sample size.

My personal observation is that the SB population, without a doubt, has a relative high ratio of gold-diggers compared to other forms of dating. So yeah, it doesn't surprise me that you see lots of YouTuber SBs talking shit.

People post YouTube videos as a source of income and post as much click-bait as possible to increase their bounty. This means that the other side of the lifestyle, which is girls that are in it for non-monetary reasons (daddy issues, sexual preference for older men, etc) are not sitting around making YouTube videos about why they do what they do -- there's nothing to be gained from it unless you're in it for ad-click money, and have a lot of free time on your hands (i.e. because you're escorting or are just not getting called on dates from top-shelf SDs).

For this reason, YouTube is absolutely NOT the best place to "educate ourselves" on how the sugar lifestyle really works; far from it. That's not to say the content shouldn't be viewed or considered... I do consider it, but only as entertainment.

[Madaboutmax]

I don't assume all women in the bowl are scammers, rinsers, have GPS or are Pros but I know many of them are. I've learned how to filter them out. That education was gained thru experience and some expensive mistakes. Reading this forum has helped me shorten that education process. If I get taken now, I blame myself for not recognizing the Red flags.

Any girl that talks about "knowing my worth" is an immediate red flag for me.

Educate yourself about this ladies and watch what they think of men and how you are being use because you are being use or you willing to be go to youtube type sugardady tecnics or tips".

[TheMarto1]

Educate yourself about this ladies and watch what they think of men and how you are being use because you are being use or you willing to be go to youtube type sugardady tecnics or tips".

[Passport4]

Z,

Thanks for this! I can also attest that it works. Is there a way to use the same procedure, or a variation, to suss out the SB's email or contact info? I see that all my dirty laundry is on display, but not hers. If you could poke around a bit more and see what else you can find, I'm pretty sure we would elect you to the SD Clubhouse All-Time Hall of Fame!

Waiting with bated breath.

Scott.

I too can attest that this works, but my experience is that as a no longer current paying member, that the only messages I receive with either a phone number or an email is either from a scammer or a working girl. I too would love to know how to access more as this has been basically a tease. I have received some interesting messages, but that is as far as it can be taken without ponying up to the bar again.

[CandyMan555]

Now that my game is leveled up a bit, I've branched out a bit into civvie dating. I've got this poly woman almost on the hook, who has a serious Daddy-Dom / Little-Girl thing going on. But holy crap, getting her over the threshold makes SA look like a walk in the park. Good practice I guess, and less $$, but just, wow.

What civie sites are worth looking into? Thanks CM.

[Walruscl]

I try to steer clear of married ones. Too many things that can go wrong. If she says they are in an open relationship, ask her if she minds if you talk to him to confirm (if you don't mind cutting bait that is, because 99% of the time you won't hear from her after that).

Not that I haven't banged plenty of married women in the past, but they were usually civy bar finds and a lot of times I didn't know they were married until they took me back to their house while their hubby was away. I do sometimes meet married SBs but it is few and far between. They also tend to come with rules and restrictions that can annoy, like they can only meet in the morning etc. That doesn't start to take into consideration the possibility of things like the hubby finding out and putting up a website dedicated to ruining your professional reputation (for those of us that care about that sort of thing).

Hear ya, and will definitely factor that in. In this case I'm hearing things like her already having a steady BF, that her husband usually vets new play-partners, that sort of thing. So I think the polyamory is real and functional. Early on I was able to establish a lot of cred because my SB (I referred to her as my GF, which isn't all that far from the truth) is poly, so there was a lot of discussion about those dynamics and how I navigated them.

I have to say, even sugar-dating a poly when you have been indoctrinated in traditional monogamous relationships can be very challenging, and so far I've welcomed those challenges and seemed to fare well. The two poly women I've sugared seemed to think it was a slam-dunk win-win, but what I've personally found is that sex is just so extremely casual for them that it can totally lack spark and passion. If I weren't so enamored with the dating aspect of my current SB I would have given up awhile ago, as the sex side of things has been unusually challenging.

[JZLizard]

I don't have the problem of an SO to worry about, and in this specific case (and in general on civvie sites, if I can get my game up sufficiently well) I'm not looking for an SB. Already got one of those, don't feel like forking out even more $.

The relationship-mindedness problem in this specific instance is lessened by the fact that this is a married polyamorous woman, so unlikely she's going to get clingy. She's talking a really good game on the dating site's messaging, but I'm at a loss at how to move beyond talk-is-cheap. Don't get me wrong, the sexting is fun (no pics, just free-association playing out of dom / sub scenarios), and I'm willing to be patient. But I'm having trouble differentiating between two scenarios. One, someone who just isn't sure what they really want yet. Two, someone who's getting off on the sexting alone and keeps it more intense by not letting on that it's her end game rather than the path to a next step.

I try to steer clear of married ones. Too many things that can go wrong. If she says they are in an open relationship, ask her if she minds if you talk to him to confirm (if you don't mind cutting bait that is, because 99% of the time you won't hear from her after that).

Not that I haven't banged plenty of married women in the past, but they were usually civy bar finds and a lot of times I didn't know they were married until they took me back to their house while their hubby was away. I do sometimes meet married SBs but it is few and far between. They also tend to come with rules and restrictions that can annoy, like they can only meet in the morning etc. That doesn't start to take into consideration the possibility of things like the hubby finding out and putting up a website dedicated to ruining your professional reputation (for those of us that care about that sort of thing).

Married women tend to be VERY careless about their meetings and communications, too. Often texting their lover on the same phone her hubby pays the bill for. They figure if they get caught maybe their hubby will start appreciating them more and giving them attention again. They typically don't care if he buys a gun and stalks their ex-lover simultaneously while rekindling their marriage, their lover has served his purpose at that point.

If a hot chick wants to suck on my cock I typically don't over analyze the situation or worry about the above, but usually the married ones aren't as hot as the non-married and to me just aren't worth the extra risk. The risk is escalated in the civy-dating scene, because they have little to no motive to hide what they are doing. Mainstream media / society now fully supports the female in the above scenario, she is automatically assumed to be the victim of a husband that didn't try hard enough. She wins either way. The lover never really wins anything... free pussy maybe but in most cases, better free pussy was available from another non-married one.

Not to mention legal, physical, and emotional risks involved.

[JustLonely]

I have a person who favorited me with out actually viewing me. Is that possible?

Even if they view your profile don't assume they have read it thoroughly. I have had three dates with SB's who hadn't noticed I was married.

[Apothecary]

Yup, through search when SB / SD list appears, you can just click on "heart icon" and that person will be Favorited.

I have a person who favorited me with out actually viewing me. Is that possible?

[BobbyRichmond]

I have a person who favorited me with out actually viewing me. Is that possible?

[Walruscl]

Many good times to be found on civy sites, depending on how much time you have to put in it. It can also be a bit risky for a married man unless you find one that's okay with a traveling daddy, since a lot of civy finds tend to assume your local. The SA crowd by nature seems to be more location-agnostic. I've gotten some of my best pussy from civy sites, but the type of SD that wants to avoid involvement / emotional commitment at all costs (that's me) is going to find some issues there, because the SBs you find tend to be more relationship-minded, and in general more clingy. At least that was my experience.

I don't have the problem of an SO to worry about, and in this specific case (and in general on civvie sites, if I can get my game up sufficiently well) I'm not looking for an SB. Already got one of those, don't feel like forking out even more $.

The relationship-mindedness problem in this specific instance is lessened by the fact that this is a married polyamorous woman, so unlikely she's going to get clingy. She's talking a really good game on the dating site's messaging, but I'm at a loss at how to move beyond talk-is-cheap. Don't get me wrong, the sexting is fun (no pics, just free-association playing out of dom / sub scenarios), and I'm willing to be patient. But I'm having trouble differentiating between two scenarios. One, someone who just isn't sure what they really want yet. Two, someone who's getting off on the sexting alone and keeps it more intense by not letting on that it's her end game rather than the path to a next step.

[JohnRichard]

I'd say it's just a matter of brain development plus life experience. The executive function matures around 22-24, and then at that point the older SB's are gaining more life experience, and develop a different perspective. The 18-22's are still more impulsive, have very short time horizons, limited risk assessment, etc. So when you get a good one in the younger crowd, they are more likely to take your lead without applying a lot of analytical skills to the equation. Benefits / negatives to both dynamics, all depends on what you're looking for.

Usually the younger ones are willing to take on more risk with the expectation a payday. There was a recent study on teenage brain development that found teenagers are willing to take more risks than any other age group. The older ones have more to protect in their lives so they will be willing to take smaller risks.

Then you need to start figuring out how to manage this risk aversion so they get comfy with you, or identify the 'loco' ones who did not lose their ability to take risk.

[JZLizard]

Now that my game is leveled up a bit, I've branched out a bit into civvie dating. I've got this poly woman almost on the hook, who has a serious Daddy-Dom / Little-Girl thing going on. But holy crap, getting her over the threshold makes SA look like a walk in the park. Good practice I guess, and less $$, but just, wow.

Many good times to be found on civy sites, depending on how much time you have to put in it. It can also be a bit risky for a married man unless you find one that's okay with a traveling daddy, since a lot of civy finds tend to assume your local. The SA crowd by nature seems to be more location-agnostic. I've gotten some of my best pussy from civy sites, but the type of SD that wants to avoid involvement / emotional commitment at all costs (that's me) is going to find some issues there, because the SBs you find tend to be more relationship-minded, and in general more clingy. At least that was my experience.