Massage Parlor Reports

[Jack A Dogov]

I went to BVR yesterday as a walk-in and discovered that Nicki is back. Great to see her again. I hadn't had a massage for a couple of weeks and she delivered the solid massage and ending that she (and BVR) is known for. It wasn't busy at all and we went well over the hour. Nice hug from Kay as I was leaving and Nicki walked with me all the way to my car. A final hug and kiss from her and I was on my way.

[WorcGuy00]

A few mongers lately have been asking for opinions on AMPs to visit. This is my two cents. I've been to a few others in the area, but now I usually just make a visit to Envelope a couple of times a year. I'm am due for a visit now. While they won't win any beauty contests, you go there for one reason only, and the women there all seem to have a wide open menus, with very little haggling. I just pay the $. 60 for the hour and then when they come back in I give them a hug and a Benny and tell them I want to have fun. The last few times I was there I was with Lisa, who was just as ready and willing as Ying Ying used to be. I've never been with Linda. The last time I visited, afterwards Lisa told me I should try the new younger girl, CiCi, for the next visit, but haven't. I'm not sure if she is even there anymore. After a few initial reports on her, I haven't read anything since. Does anyone know if Lisa is even still there? If not, I guess I'll have to try the infamous Linda.

I saw Linda last week. She said she was going to New York beginning this Monday, and that 2 new girls were starting this past weekend. Not sure if this means brand new or not.

[Drewonhere]

I had a shitty day sexually, so I figured I could at least numb my misery with humor.

Plus I got a grape Fanta when I bought that lottery ticket. Then I got take out from Popeye's.

The day ended up eking out a passing grade.

I literally woke my wife out of a sound sleep from laughing out loud. Then started giggling like a kid 30 minutes later as I was trying to fall asleep.

Too fuckin much!

[Sounds]

A few mongers lately have been asking for opinions on AMPs to visit. This is my two cents. I've been to a few others in the area, but now I usually just make a visit to Envelope a couple of times a year. I'm am due for a visit now. While they won't win any beauty contests, you go there for one reason only, and the women there all seem to have a wide open menus, with very little haggling. I just pay the $. 60 for the hour and then when they come back in I give them a hug and a Benny and tell them I want to have fun. The last few times I was there I was with Lisa, who was just as ready and willing as Ying Ying used to be. I've never been with Linda. The last time I visited, afterwards Lisa told me I should try the new younger girl, CiCi, for the next visit, but haven't. I'm not sure if she is even there anymore. After a few initial reports on her, I haven't read anything since. Does anyone know if Lisa is even still there? If not, I guess I'll have to try the infamous Linda.

AFAIK current options are Linda and Lucy. Search forum for details.

[Wabbitt9]

Wabbit, you would make a cool mil writing a book about the fucked up things we mongers see, do and endure in the name of a simple nut.

You are hilarious. Sucks that it's all true tho.

I had a shitty day sexually, so I figured I could at least numb my misery with humor.

Plus I got a grape Fanta when I bought that lottery ticket. Then I got take out from Popeye's.

The day ended up eking out a passing grade.

[Drewonhere]

Paid a visit to can't today after being stood up by a higher end lady. Met at the door by a cute little thing who looked to be about in her mid thirties in a short pink dress. Usual house fee for the half hour, and got undressed while she went with the money. Laid down and got easily the lightest massage in history. Like. She was barely touching me. I went up the skirt and gave the butt a squeeze; a bit hard but not terrible. After a few minutes she had me flip and did the universal symbols for HE and mouth music. But being that I was already backed up from expecting coochie and not getting it, I told her everything. Offered $, she countered with $. 2, and since I didn't have any tens on me. It was a deal. She proceeded to get some baby wipes and spray them with what smelled like Lemon Pledge, then wiped down my cash and prizes.

That's when it went downhill.

Fast.

The dress came off and. It was kind of a mess. Saggy tits, a gunt, and a shitty tattoo along the lower stomach to seemingly emphasize said gunt. My hard on started to wilt. She put the cover on and did some mouth music to get me closer to full staff, then climbed aboard for Asian cowgirl. She rode me and did the standard "Ooh baby. Yes baby. " while I kept my eyes closed and tried to picture the girl I was supposed to see today. She kept leaning in to kiss and she stank of cigarettes.

Suffice to say I didn't nut. So she got off and we tried doggy. But by that point I was so soft I couldn't get it in. Tried mish. Still rocking a soft serve cone. So she asked if a handy was fine for the finish. I just wanted to get her clothes back on and get out of there, so I let her pull the cover off, douse me with more lemon Pledge scented lube, and commenced to jackhammer. After a couple of more minutes I managed to squeeze out a nut. She cleaned me up, we both got dressed, and I headed around the corner to buy a Mega Millions ticket in the hopes of winning the 1. 6 billion so I can afford to have the memory bleached from my brain.

She made a point of saying, "See you again soon. " As I'm like, "No. I'm not coming back until I hear you've left. ".

Wabbit, you would make a cool mil writing a book about the fucked up things we mongers see, do and endure in the name of a simple nut.

You are hilarious. Sucks that it's all true tho.

[WorldVV]

Feel sorry for you. Been in this is situation before. Has been mislead a few times. Any magical pill that could help maintain an erection?

Quality of the providers in this area is really hit or miss.

Paid a visit to can't today after being stood up by a higher end lady. Met at the door by a cute little thing who looked to be about in her mid thirties in a short pink dress. Usual house fee for the half hour, and got undressed while she went with the money. Laid down and got easily the lightest massage in history. Like. She was barely touching me. I went up the skirt and gave the butt a squeeze; a bit hard but not terrible. After a few minutes she had me flip and did the universal symbols for HE and mouth music. But being that I was already backed up from expecting coochie and not getting it, I told her everything. Offered $, she countered with $. 2, and since I didn't have any tens on me. It was a deal. She proceeded to get some baby wipes and spray them with what smelled like Lemon Pledge, then wiped down my cash and prizes.

That's when it went downhill.

Fast.

The dress came off and. It was kind of a mess. Saggy tits, a gunt, and a shitty tattoo along the lower stomach to seemingly emphasize said gunt. My hard on started to wilt. She put the cover on and did some mouth music to get me closer to full staff, then climbed aboard for Asian cowgirl. She rode me and did the standard "Ooh baby. Yes baby. " while I kept my eyes closed and tried to picture the girl I was supposed to see today. She kept leaning in to kiss and she stank of cigarettes.

Suffice to say I didn't nut. So she got off and we tried doggy. But by that point I was so soft I couldn't get it in. Tried mish. Still rocking a soft serve cone. So she asked if a handy was fine for the finish. I just wanted to get her clothes back on and get out of there, so I let her pull the cover off, douse me with more lemon Pledge scented lube, and commenced to jackhammer. After a couple of more minutes I managed to squeeze out a nut. She cleaned me up, we both got dressed, and I headed around the corner to buy a Mega Millions ticket in the hopes of winning the 1. 6 billion so I can afford to have the memory bleached from my brain.

She made a point of saying, "See you again soon. " As I'm like, "No. I'm not coming back until I hear you've left. ".

[EffYouTrump]

WTF with this place lately. That's why I'm almost exclusively Envelope for my needs. Granny Linda does the job. No smell. No drama. Only disadvantage is that alcohol stings man. I'd almost prefer the lemon pledge.

Paid a visit to can't today after being stood up by a higher end lady. Met at the door by a cute little thing who looked to be about in her mid thirties in a short pink dress. Usual house fee for the half hour, and got undressed while she went with the money. Laid down and got easily the lightest massage in history. Like. She was barely touching me. I went up the skirt and gave the butt a squeeze; a bit hard but not terrible. After a few minutes she had me flip and did the universal symbols for HE and mouth music. But being that I was already backed up from expecting coochie and not getting it, I told her everything. Offered $, she countered with $. 2, and since I didn't have any tens on me. It was a deal. She proceeded to get some baby wipes and spray them with what smelled like Lemon Pledge, then wiped down my cash and prizes.

That's when it went downhill.

Fast.

The dress came off and. It was kind of a mess. Saggy tits, a gunt, and a shitty tattoo along the lower stomach to seemingly emphasize said gunt. My hard on started to wilt. She put the cover on and did some mouth music to get me closer to full staff, then climbed aboard for Asian cowgirl. She rode me and did the standard "Ooh baby. Yes baby. " while I kept my eyes closed and tried to picture the girl I was supposed to see today. She kept leaning in to kiss and she stank of cigarettes.

Suffice to say I didn't nut. So she got off and we tried doggy. But by that point I was so soft I couldn't get it in. Tried mish. Still rocking a soft serve cone. So she asked if a handy was fine for the finish. I just wanted to get her clothes back on and get out of there, so I let her pull the cover off, douse me with more lemon Pledge scented lube, and commenced to jackhammer. After a couple of more minutes I managed to squeeze out a nut. She cleaned me up, we both got dressed, and I headed around the corner to buy a Mega Millions ticket in the hopes of winning the 1. 6 billion so I can afford to have the memory bleached from my brain.

She made a point of saying, "See you again soon. " As I'm like, "No. I'm not coming back until I hear you've left. ".

[MegaSean]

Paid a visit to can't today after being stood up by a higher end lady. Met at the door by a cute little thing who looked to be about in her mid thirties in a short pink dress. Usual house fee for the half hour, and got undressed while she went with the money. Laid down and got easily the lightest massage in history. Like. She was barely touching me. I went up the skirt and gave the butt a squeeze; a bit hard but not terrible. After a few minutes she had me flip and did the universal symbols for HE and mouth music. But being that I was already backed up from expecting coochie and not getting it, I told her everything. Offered $, she countered with $. 2, and since I didn't have any tens on me. It was a deal. She proceeded to get some baby wipes and spray them with what smelled like Lemon Pledge, then wiped down my cash and prizes.

That's when it went downhill.

Fast.

The dress came off and. It was kind of a mess. Saggy tits, a gunt, and a shitty tattoo along the lower stomach to seemingly emphasize said gunt. My hard on started to wilt. She put the cover on and did some mouth music to get me closer to full staff, then climbed aboard for Asian cowgirl. She rode me and did the standard "Ooh baby. Yes baby. " while I kept my eyes closed and tried to picture the girl I was supposed to see today. She kept leaning in to kiss and she stank of cigarettes.

Suffice to say I didn't nut. So she got off and we tried doggy. But by that point I was so soft I couldn't get it in. Tried mish. Still rocking a soft serve cone. So she asked if a handy was fine for the finish. I just wanted to get her clothes back on and get out of there, so I let her pull the cover off, douse me with more lemon Pledge scented lube, and commenced to jackhammer. After a couple of more minutes I managed to squeeze out a nut. She cleaned me up, we both got dressed, and I headed around the corner to buy a Mega Millions ticket in the hopes of winning the 1. 6 billion so I can afford to have the memory bleached from my brain.

She made a point of saying, "See you again soon. " As I'm like, "No. I'm not coming back until I hear you've left. ".

Thank you sir, you have made a great sacrifice this evening and I salute you for your service.

[Wabbitt9]

Paid a visit to can't today after being stood up by a higher end lady. Met at the door by a cute little thing who looked to be about in her mid thirties in a short pink dress. Usual house fee for the half hour, and got undressed while she went with the money. Laid down and got easily the lightest massage in history. Like. She was barely touching me. I went up the skirt and gave the butt a squeeze; a bit hard but not terrible. After a few minutes she had me flip and did the universal symbols for HE and mouth music. But being that I was already backed up from expecting coochie and not getting it, I told her everything. Offered $, she countered with $. 2, and since I didn't have any tens on me. It was a deal. She proceeded to get some baby wipes and spray them with what smelled like Lemon Pledge, then wiped down my cash and prizes.

That's when it went downhill.

Fast.

The dress came off and. It was kind of a mess. Saggy tits, a gunt, and a shitty tattoo along the lower stomach to seemingly emphasize said gunt. My hard on started to wilt. She put the cover on and did some mouth music to get me closer to full staff, then climbed aboard for Asian cowgirl. She rode me and did the standard "Ooh baby. Yes baby. " while I kept my eyes closed and tried to picture the girl I was supposed to see today. She kept leaning in to kiss and she stank of cigarettes.

Suffice to say I didn't nut. So she got off and we tried doggy. But by that point I was so soft I couldn't get it in. Tried mish. Still rocking a soft serve cone. So she asked if a handy was fine for the finish. I just wanted to get her clothes back on and get out of there, so I let her pull the cover off, douse me with more lemon Pledge scented lube, and commenced to jackhammer. After a couple of more minutes I managed to squeeze out a nut. She cleaned me up, we both got dressed, and I headed around the corner to buy a Mega Millions ticket in the hopes of winning the 1. 6 billion so I can afford to have the memory bleached from my brain.

She made a point of saying, "See you again soon. " As I'm like, "No. I'm not coming back until I hear you've left. ".

[Modern2018]

A few mongers lately have been asking for opinions on AMPs to visit. This is my two cents. I've been to a few others in the area, but now I usually just make a visit to Envelope a couple of times a year. I'm am due for a visit now. While they won't win any beauty contests, you go there for one reason only, and the women there all seem to have a wide open menus, with very little haggling. I just pay the $. 60 for the hour and then when they come back in I give them a hug and a Benny and tell them I want to have fun. The last few times I was there I was with Lisa, who was just as ready and willing as Ying Ying used to be. I've never been with Linda. The last time I visited, afterwards Lisa told me I should try the new younger girl, CiCi, for the next visit, but haven't. I'm not sure if she is even there anymore. After a few initial reports on her, I haven't read anything since. Does anyone know if Lisa is even still there? If not, I guess I'll have to try the infamous Linda.

[MarriedTom]

Always been curious about this place as it is close to home but on the main drag. Search had it as legit in April 2017. Any new intel?

Unless things have changed recently, average rub from a granny with DIY offered at end.

[RiskyBusines]

First time poster I've been reading this page for years never posted but figured I'd join in. I went to envelope few weeks back in the morning, think I was lindas first customer of the day. Hour visit standard massage at the flip I looked at the time had 30 minutes left she took a good 25 min pounding. She's ugly but can take a dick and will suck on your balls. I did have my finger in her ass at one point also. Happy hunting.

[ReadyToLear]

Always been curious about this place as it is close to home but on the main drag. Search had it as legit in April 2017. Any new intel?

[Wabbitt9]

Visited yesterday and she said she just got in that morning from Vegas. Not your typical AMP girl I'm used to around here, she is a little thicker, not fat but not the petite little asian either. Was wearing a skirt with no panties, can't for the life of me remember her name. The way she acted and talked you could tell she was Americanized. Massage kinda sucked, kettle but of rubbing and she had me flip and asked what I wanted, told her everything for $ she countered with $. 5 and I told her $. 2 and she agreed. Everything covered, she has nice big natural Ds maybe a large C, they were nice. No rushing and she took it like s champ. I'll go back to see her again before the switch.

Well, I'm certainly interested. I almost went to can't yesterday because the girl I had an appointment with cancelled at the last minute because of a visit from her Aunt Flo. Ended up taking a nap instead because I hadn't slept for shit the night before.