Massage Parlor Reports

[SpartanKY]

Went to a place near Fullerton and Western last night. Had a fat masseuse who seemed horny and eager to get down. I paid for an hour and she immediately started trying to play with the boys once I laid down. At 20 minutes in, she flipped me over and said prices were $50 L1, $100 L2, $200 L3. I wasn't interested, and so it kind of ended there. Her massage was above average, but she shorted me by 40 minutes.

[SpartanKY]

I went to Vida four weeks ago. I had some success there in the past. Met an MT named Lola. Lola gave a subpar massage with lots of teasing. The massage was mediocre, but it was made worse by her dry and scratchy hands. She had hard callouses that made it feel like I was getting exfoliated. Lots of questions from Lola, including "What's my name" and "Where do I work" which seemed like she was doing the cop test. There was lots of teasing, but then at 50 minutes in, she said she was done and left the room. She asked for a tip and I was like "Nah, sorry babe. ".

Lola looks to be in her 40's, but her body looked younger. It could be the yoga pants magic.

All in all, would not recommend. Bad massage with no extras? Yech.

[Karn Evil 9]

Did an outcall with her. This photo has to be 20 years old. Gave me a lame-ass massage with a hand release. Was complaining not to touch her boobs. Waste of time. Don't recommend. $200 for the hour.

https://chicago.rubratings.com/122296

[Casper27]

I've been out of the hobby since BP went under. Anyone have any recommendations in the west town area? (Ukrainian village, wicker park, etc).

[DiscreetlyLoud]

Wondering if anyone has seen this girl yet. I'm going to see her tomorrow.

https://chicago.rubratings.com/130422

[Bob521]

I deal with investment bankers every day. In many cases the truckers are cleaner. LOL.

You have the same sanitary issues if an investment banker was just in before you.

[Rm6969]

Hey everyone, there was a post from a few weeks back about April at Mercy Acupuncture on Michigan / Wacker that really sold me on it. I'm in town for about a half-day in the next few weeks and I was looking for a legit L1/ L2 place from a hot provider and I don't mind paying for it. Was thinking about hitting up div dolls or CBR even, just to make sure my needs are met but Mercy is so much closer to where I'll be. Has anyone else been to Mercy and hung out with April?

[Bryzzo]

Visited with Rio recently. Pics are real & accurate. Extras are available, though I felt they were on the pricey side. The place was very clean w / a full bathroom available, which was a very nice surprise. PM me if you want further color. I likely will not repeat at this price point (200 door fee).

[ReadyForRub]

Seriously dude? If she was using soap, you will be just fine. Relax. You worry too much.

You have the same sanitary issues if an investment banker was just in before you.

[Selforen11]

I got experience Amy. WOW! Sweet, Petite, & oh so Sweet. .

Best TS I have had in years. Great massage with just the right amount of pressure. On the flip she continues with the massage then delivers a Special Treat and then back to the rest of the massage. I LOVED that I got to continue to relax and have time to bask in the afterglow instead of just getting the wet towel treatment and being told "all done".

Guys this one is a treat. Just relax, let her do her thing, and enjoy the ride.

I visited Amy at Green again last week and received another well above average massage (for an AMP) with a slow, relaxed and thoroughly enjoyable HE on the flip. Amy is no stunner, but I think she is cute / sexy as heck with her tiny, slender frame and glasses. She also has a fun, playful personality (a major attraction as well). Most of all she knows why I am there and does not disappoint. I was a bit bolder with the roaming this time and acheived full access under the bra. I typically go there end of day and am the only customer in the spa, which is nice. The only hassle remains to be the parking as Green is in a very busy, congested area.

[Walker333]

So, I show up at oki doki after being away for a while. Two chicks at the front. A skinny older chick behind the desk (maybe late 30's or early 40's) with a decent body. A 6. 5 or 7. I guess you could say she's cute. Definitely good enough for massage and L1. Then there's probably an 8. Good body. Late 20's or early 30's. Wearing "fuck me pumps" peach color with a 4 or 5 inch heel. Hot / sexy.

I pay 70 and go back to the room. Take off all my clothes and lay on the table naked as usual. Screw the towel. Of course the older chick comes in. She is pretending like she is brand new. I tell her I want the table shower. She takes me back and asks me to lay on the table and starts doing the typical shower. Moving fast like she's doing a speed wash. I tell her to slow down. She does. She avoids the crack. I'm already disappointed. I give her plenty of signals that I am not a pig. I'm reaching for her tits. Trying to grab her ass. She pretends to be shy. On the flip she does the wash and avoids the dick. This is just getting ridiculous, but I've been to oki doki several times before so I know this is just a BS act.

I'm obviously disappointed by the table shower. The massage is even worse. She puts on the towel. I immediately throw it on the floor and tell her I'm hot and don't' want the towel. She starts massage without oil. But it wasn't a massage. She's just pressing on me. What the hell is this? I tell her to use oil. She does. It's better than whatever she was doing before but she is avoiding even inner thighs. No teasing at all! What the hell?

Eventually I flip over. She points to my dick and asks if I want massage there. I'm like. DUH! - I've been grabbing you ass and reaching for your tits for the past 30 minutes. WTF? I didn't even answer the question. I just asked her to take off her shirt. She says that's $100. I'm like damn. You don't even have a decent set of tits, why would I pay $100 to see them? She said, OK. Then give me 60. Fine. That's what I expected. She makes me get the 60 before continuing.

The only positive thing I can say about this woman is that her handjob felt wonderful. Although I don't know if that was because of her skill level or if it was just that I was horny AF. But whatever it was, the handjob felt great and I didn't feel as pissed off as I would have been otherwise. I blew a tremendous load. Got handed a water and left.

Oki has been good to me in the past so I'll eventually give them another chance. I just need to make sure I let them know I'm not a newbie and try to stick with the same therapist in the future.

Oki has always, from the day One, been a solid and reliable AMP. The talen rotates, therefore qualify of service changes. If you are not extremely pleased today, just come back tomorrow.

[Biliator]

Treated myself to 4-hands at Relax on Cermak yesterday aft. The massage was not half bad and the rest of the festivities were much better! PM for details.

[ZzTopSterZz]

Hey experienced AMP goers. I recently relocated to Chicago from another midwestern city south of here where I was extremely familiar with this scene. I have been doing my homework via this website and google but have one outstanding question. What is the typical door fee and tip at an AMP for a decent massage and L1. There is a place nearby I am thinking about trying but don't know the rates around these parts for this kind of service.

Thanks in advance!

Reacting to the title given by Royal. Sorry for the diversion outside of focused mongering but google John Mulaney's "new in town" skit. Funny as heck.

[SzForLife]

Tried to go to Pine this morning early but you mongers already had it packed by 10 am. LOL. Decent looking woman told me to come back later. I ended up in Lagrange at the place on Plainfield Rd and Lagrange Rd. Mamasan gave me a dirty look when I rang the bell, and asked what I wanted. I said if this is a bad time, forget it, ill go elsewhere. She said no come in. I Drew Cherry, not bad looking and very talkative. No teasing whatsoever, and the towel stayed on the enrire session. Very good massage though. May repeat.

Place is very small, and the walls don't go up to the ceiling. But it was clean and the MT was decent looking and pleasant to talk to.

[Datsurman]

So, I show up at oki doki after being away for a while. Two chicks at the front. A skinny older chick behind the desk (maybe late 30's or early 40's) with a decent body. A 6. 5 or 7. I guess you could say she's cute. Definitely good enough for massage and L1. Then there's probably an 8. Good body. Late 20's or early 30's. Wearing "fuck me pumps" peach color with a 4 or 5 inch heel. Hot / sexy.

I pay 70 and go back to the room. Take off all my clothes and lay on the table naked as usual. Screw the towel. Of course the older chick comes in. She is pretending like she is brand new. I tell her I want the table shower. She takes me back and asks me to lay on the table and starts doing the typical shower. Moving fast like she's doing a speed wash. I tell her to slow down. She does. She avoids the crack. I'm already disappointed. I give her plenty of signals that I am not a pig. I'm reaching for her tits. Trying to grab her ass. She pretends to be shy. On the flip she does the wash and avoids the dick. This is just getting ridiculous, but I've been to oki doki several times before so I know this is just a BS act.

I'm obviously disappointed by the table shower. The massage is even worse. She puts on the towel. I immediately throw it on the floor and tell her I'm hot and don't' want the towel. She starts massage without oil. But it wasn't a massage. She's just pressing on me. What the hell is this? I tell her to use oil. She does. It's better than whatever she was doing before but she is avoiding even inner thighs. No teasing at all! What the hell?

Eventually I flip over. She points to my dick and asks if I want massage there. I'm like. DUH! - I've been grabbing you ass and reaching for your tits for the past 30 minutes. WTF? I didn't even answer the question. I just asked her to take off her shirt. She says that's $100. I'm like damn. You don't even have a decent set of tits, why would I pay $100 to see them? She said, OK. Then give me 60. Fine. That's what I expected. She makes me get the 60 before continuing.

The only positive thing I can say about this woman is that her handjob felt wonderful. Although I don't know if that was because of her skill level or if it was just that I was horny AF. But whatever it was, the handjob felt great and I didn't feel as pissed off as I would have been otherwise. I blew a tremendous load. Got handed a water and left.

Oki has been good to me in the past so I'll eventually give them another chance. I just need to make sure I let them know I'm not a newbie and try to stick with the same therapist in the future.