Massage Parlor Reports

[ApplePiePussy]

Are pretty much the worst time to go to a spa. I learned that the hard way. The two worst experiences I've ever had were on Sunday nights. It's because they put out the new girls and the flunkies just to keep the doors open. None of the attractive experienced girls want to work weekends. They want to have fun like everyone else. They want to work 5 days and have weekends off. Most of them don't get 2 days off though. My main girl does but lately her massage has become non-existent and I went to see somebody else.

I went to Yun Ping based on recent reviews on RM. I knew right when she opened the door that it was probably going to be a bad time. The problem was that she was mildly attractive and in her 20's which is becoming increasingly rare in Chicago. So I rolled the dice.

The further out in the boonies of China these girls are from, the closer they are to semi-retardation. It's not their fault. It's simply a lack of education and manners. The country needs several more generations of advancement before we can expect the country girls to be anything but spazzes. There are exceptions but they are rare.

The massage was terrible. It was her spreading oil on my back the way you would spread a rub on a steak. At least a couple times I caught her watching her phone with one hand and sliming me with the other. Now this is the best part, on the flip, she tells me she's never done it before. And I believe her. I had to show her how to give a handy. And she was terrible. I mean absolutely an abomination. It was like she was working some mechanical pump, like she was expecting it to spurt after a couple pumps like a lawnmower.

The worst part was her attitude. It was somewhat authoritative yet completely silly at the same time. She is probably on the spectrum somewhere, sent to the US by frustrated family members who were thinking at least she wouldn't fuck up tugging dicks.

I gave her a twenty as a tip and walked out. She didn't protest. There are no redeeming qualities, unfortunately. It's okay to be new. It's not okay to have her personality and be new, because in a sense she will always be new.

The place is a shit-hole anyways. Nasty TS and nastier rooms. There was some kind of party out front too, in the fake ass hair salon. It was all older Chinese and they were huddled around a table.

[SaintChuck]

http://chicago.backpage.com/Therapeu...girls/81324797 During the week I was driving home from the city and traffic was horrible, so I decide to get off the highway and visit an AMP. I walk into this place and was greeted by a woman in her 40's and she was about a 3 on the AMP scale. When she smiled she became a 1 because her teeth were like burnt little match heads. We went to the room and I laid on my back, to let her know that I wasn't there for a massage. After a few minutes she sat on the table and started brushing her fingers over me. I started working my way up her legs and feeling her butt. She got more comfortable and it got to the point where she was laying on her side and it was like we were in 69 position. After a few minutes I removed the towel and she continued this light feather touch and she tickled my balls a few times. I finally guided her hand to the little guy and that's where things went downhill. She told me that she doesn't do that and that she only gives massage. I explained to her that this was part of the massage and that it was the most important part of the massage. She got this dumb look on her face like she was actually thinking about it. She finally said no. Kind of funny that she had no problem tickling my balls several times, but a hand job was out of the question. LOL. I got up off the table and got dressed and left. I figured that sitting in traffic was better than getting severe blue balls. If you are a Monger that likes to have your balls tickled, then this is the place for you. SaintChuck.

[Gentle Mist]

I just say she was recommended by a friend and usually that works. The only time it didn't was with emily from oki doki. She asked for my friend's name, gave a generic name. She then asked for a description of this friend and I gave a generic description. She kept prying so I gave in and told her it was from reviews online. Damn she was nosy!

I hope the massage was adequate enough for you after all that.

I usually don't ever bother asking for their name, because 1.) it's always going to be false; and, 2.) they probably give the same name to only a few guys (maybe a days' worth of guys) at a time.

[Crikiter]

Went to a West Lakeview spa a while ago and asked for a table shower. They said the table broke and all they had was a sprayer and a mat on the floor. Yuk. This place seems to be going downhill. Service was ok but not as good as in the past.

On another note visited 4112. When I got into the room some guy out in the hall was going on about how great she was. I myself thought it was very meh. Unenthusiastic and too much damn oil. To each their own I guess.

[VRooomBada]

Yes, she did ask me that and it was awkward. I just mumbled I knew her name and quickly got into doing something so it can be ignored. It was clear to her that I was visiting her first time but that's fine as she was not mad at it or anything. But there could be more on table that I may get in my next visit.

I just say she was recommended by a friend and usually that works. The only time it didn't was with emily from oki doki. She asked for my friend's name, gave a generic name. She then asked for a description of this friend and I gave a generic description. She kept prying so I gave in and told her it was from reviews online. Damn she was nosy!

[Hrodebert]

Are Coco's tatas real?

I visited this place today and I was invited by Maria. She was not so attractive. I insisted I want Coco and in came Coco who looked easy on eyes. She may be in her early 40's but very fit and sexy. As you said in your earlier review, she is open for all kinds of roaming (fiv. Etc). I think more is on table if we visit more.

[ArielDude28]

Did she question at all why you requested her without seeing her before? Always awkward when they grill you on that. I usually just go and roll the dice at these places.

Yes, she did ask me that and it was awkward. I just mumbled I knew her name and quickly got into doing something so it can be ignored. It was clear to her that I was visiting her first time but that's fine as she was not mad at it or anything. But there could be more on table that I may get in my next visit.

[Starks]

It would be much appreciated if somebody can point me in the direction of a MT with large cans.

[Robert Gou2]

I visited this place today and I was invited by Maria. She was not so attractive. I insisted I want Coco and in came Coco who looked easy on eyes. She may be in her early 40's but very fit and sexy. As you said in your earlier review, she is open for all kinds of roaming (fiv. Etc). I think more is on table if we visit more.

Did she question at all why you requested her without seeing her before? Always awkward when they grill you on that. I usually just go and roll the dice at these places.

[ArielDude28]

Can't say it was a complete fail, it was ok. Had "Maria" this time, she was thin, not very pretty but her body was decent. She allowed some roaming, not as much as Coco, but I supposed beggars can't be choosers. On the flip she didn't tease much and actually tried to get me to do a DIY-HE, I wasn't buying it, and instead guided her hand exactly where it needed to be, she obliged, and quite enthusiastically I must say. Same 60/40 handshake, again, not bad but had a better time with coco.

I visited this place today and I was invited by Maria. She was not so attractive. I insisted I want Coco and in came Coco who looked easy on eyes. She may be in her early 40's but very fit and sexy. As you said in your earlier review, she is open for all kinds of roaming (fiv. Etc). I think more is on table if we visit more.

[Ron M]

On Ashland and Addison. Just a few blocks west of Wrigley Field has officially closed. For rent sign on the window. I guess not offering extra play cost them business.

[DMichaels69]

I've never been but the website makes it clear it would be an upsell. I'll pass on that.

There is nothing special there, just clean. Mediocre therapist and massage. Funny up-selling. Starting point is 100, dropped to 50, and behaved as if she was during a huge favor.

Very expensive handshake.

[Walker333]

There is nothing special there, just clean. Mediocre therapist and massage. Funny up-selling. Starting point is 100, dropped to 50, and behaved as if she was during a huge favor.

[Jayp80]

Anybody tried this spot in DG? What's the deal? Too good to be true?

Very expensive handshake.

[LatinPoker]

Stopped in the other day on a whim, $. 6 at the door for the hour, got a cute Asian (Coco?) allowed loads of roaming and provided lots of teasing start to finish (HE), $. 4 for the tip at the end. I don't do this often but must admit I was pleasantly surprised, will repeat.

Can't say it was a complete fail, it was ok. Had "Maria" this time, she was thin, not very pretty but her body was decent. She allowed some roaming, not as much as Coco, but I supposed beggars can't be choosers. On the flip she didn't tease much and actually tried to get me to do a DIY-HE, I wasn't buying it, and instead guided her hand exactly where it needed to be, she obliged, and quite enthusiastically I must say. Same 60/40 handshake, again, not bad but had a better time with coco.