Massage Parlor Reports

[Member #5794]

Hundred.

You are one of the best posters anywhere on any board I've seen (keeping this audience in double gut busting hysterics).

Your keen wit and insight sustains all of us (which is about 10 hardcore guys).

You have repeated the investigation of the G-finger talent to the nth degree (and none of it sounds good).

So I ask you Sir, wight he utmost respect, "why the hell do you continue with this place aka Swamps of Degoba?

That being said, don't stop and carry on.

Son, I live on the westside, and there are no cinderblock perimeter fenced cumdumps in Alhambra, no streetwalkers, no "nonpros" (working out of hotels and fucking guys on Seeking Arrangements with nicknames like "church girl") and no 50 dollar all you can eat cum in pussy perfect 10's that are so prevalent in the SGV. No, I live in a world where providers are few and far between (cept for the Korean on city vibe with girls who have a knack for giving you a 15 minute shower in a west la trick pad until such time as your dick goes into crinkly finger mode), and those providers have to be patronized by men like me with small cocks.

Who's going to do it? You? You, Lieutenant Christophe?

I have a greater responsibility than you can possibly fathom. You weep for shitbag places like Kiku, VIP, Ocean, A-1, that fucken sauna place with those ridiculous ads on Backpage with latina girls with asses bigger than oprahs, and you curse Goldfinger.

You have that luxury. You have the luxury of not knowing what I know -- that my handjobs from women who should be modeling in the SGV, while tragic, probably saves the westside; and my existence, while grotesque and incomprehensible to you, saves mongers from having to drive to the inland empire to cum in the pussies of women in their 60's.

You don't want the truth because deep down in places you don't talk about at SGV RAMPS, you want me at templeofbliss, you need me at templeofbliss.

We use words like "tantra," "ass crack tickling," "more oil. " We use these words as the backbone of a life spent trying to get the perfect handjob without having to get on the 10 east. You use them as a punch line.

[BigBadNut]

Hundred.

You are one of the best posters anywhere on any board I've seen (keeping this audience in double gut busting hysterics).

Your keen wit and insight sustains all of us (which is about 10 hardcore guys).

You have repeated the investigation of the G-finger talent to the nth degree (and none of it sounds good).

So I ask you Sir, wight he utmost respect, "why the hell do you continue with this place aka Swamps of Degoba?

That being said, don't stop and carry on.

So, after so many years going to MPs, it finally happened. No, the bag did not break, I did not get anal, no LEO came in and asked me why I would ever get a massage at a place that has all the hygiene of a tuberculosis ward in medieval caclutta, and no mamasan came in to give me kimchi.

No, I walked in and there was another monger there in the waiting room. The MP waiting room is more uncomfortable than being a virgin at a jailhouse rodeo. I sort of stayed outside, but this guy was legendary. He fucken kissed and hugged the mamasan. I know this fucker must be a poster here. This was Tuesday 1. 9. 18 around 545 pm. Anyhow, he walked back all huggy and kissy with "jenny" this dragon from rowland high who jerked me off months ago.

She finally comes back from the soiree with this monger and greets me. I now opt for the full hour so the tech has to work her ass off to get me off. I give her 60 and while I am giving her the dough I am begging for another gal. She gets the clue and gets another masseuse ready and takes my dough.

In comes coco, a sort of fatty, almost latina / filipina looking gal who could be around 48. She was actually not bad. She was portly, had smallish proportionate tits. She had a face only a mother could love on pay day. All in all, if this girl was working at a stucco cum dump in SGV, there would be a line to the atlantic avenue exit to fuck her. She was a 3. 5.

She says you want soft, I guess she was told that I am fucken degenerate. She does soft which is just 10 minutes of tickling me and then finally getting to my crackety crack. She grabbed my hard dick from underneath and I pressed my dick against the pad and she complained I was breaking her hand. So I flipped over.

She had the oil at walking distance and she would jerk me for about 5 minutes, get oil and repeat. She attacked my cock from every angle. She took direction. I realized just how ugly of a pig she was and figured that the best thing was for me to close my eyes. After 25 minutes of cock work I blew and she did that annoying thing where she put her palm over my cock like I was a bottle of diet coke and mentos. I tipped her 50, so 50 for the house and 50 to be jerked off.

Oh this took place at an MP on a boulevard in WEST los angeles that has said direction in its name along with what you can buy alot of at home depot in sizes that are 2 by 4. The block on that boulevard is synonymous with the 19th VP of the US, William Wheeler. If you are sick of the code shit, this was at goldfinger massage at the 1900 block of westwood.

[BigBadNut]

Was cruising down Olympic thinking I might take a shot at someplace now. Stopped and took a look at bobby center. Wasn't quite sure what to make of it the ads are very overstated as usually are. Anyone have experience there?

[Member #5794]

So, after so many years going to MPs, it finally happened. No, the bag did not break, I did not get anal, no LEO came in and asked me why I would ever get a massage at a place that has all the hygiene of a tuberculosis ward in medieval caclutta, and no mamasan came in to give me kimchi.

No, I walked in and there was another monger there in the waiting room. The MP waiting room is more uncomfortable than being a virgin at a jailhouse rodeo. I sort of stayed outside, but this guy was legendary. He fucken kissed and hugged the mamasan. I know this fucker must be a poster here. This was Tuesday 1. 9. 18 around 545 pm. Anyhow, he walked back all huggy and kissy with "jenny" this dragon from rowland high who jerked me off months ago.

She finally comes back from the soiree with this monger and greets me. I now opt for the full hour so the tech has to work her ass off to get me off. I give her 60 and while I am giving her the dough I am begging for another gal. She gets the clue and gets another masseuse ready and takes my dough.

In comes coco, a sort of fatty, almost latina / filipina looking gal who could be around 48. She was actually not bad. She was portly, had smallish proportionate tits. She had a face only a mother could love on pay day. All in all, if this girl was working at a stucco cum dump in SGV, there would be a line to the atlantic avenue exit to fuck her. She was a 3. 5.

She says you want soft, I guess she was told that I am fucken degenerate. She does soft which is just 10 minutes of tickling me and then finally getting to my crackety crack. She grabbed my hard dick from underneath and I pressed my dick against the pad and she complained I was breaking her hand. So I flipped over.

She had the oil at walking distance and she would jerk me for about 5 minutes, get oil and repeat. She attacked my cock from every angle. She took direction. I realized just how ugly of a pig she was and figured that the best thing was for me to close my eyes. After 25 minutes of cock work I blew and she did that annoying thing where she put her palm over my cock like I was a bottle of diet coke and mentos. I tipped her 50, so 50 for the house and 50 to be jerked off.

Oh this took place at an MP on a boulevard in WEST los angeles that has said direction in its name along with what you can buy alot of at home depot in sizes that are 2 by 4. The block on that boulevard is synonymous with the 19th VP of the US, William Wheeler. If you are sick of the code shit, this was at goldfinger massage at the 1900 block of westwood.

[Ron Odalay]

In Lakewood, typical advertisements and a webpage. Any info?

[Willie23]

I went Thai, and now I can't go back to Korean or Chinese. Been frequenting a spot in Bevery Hills. The cleanest spot I ever been to, found my ATF who is now unfortunately leaving only after I've visited 3 times. No FS, but just gorgeous girls South of 40 that look south of 30 giving great massages and HE in a practically legit, super clean environment. After playing with some cute, young Thai girls, I don't want to take a chance with any other spots. Got some intel that I'd be happy to share for any Thai recommendations. Shoot me a PM.

Try for a phone number if your ATF is leaving. As you'll see if you scan any number of posts in this thread, it's full of regrets about losing contact with an ATF. Sometimes providers move on to another parlor or retire then "unretire" or might want occasional off-site dates.

[Thenobe]

I went Thai, and now I can't go back to Korean or Chinese. Been frequenting a spot in Bevery Hills. The cleanest spot I ever been to, found my ATF who is now unfortunately leaving only after I've visited 3 times. No FS, but just gorgeous girls South of 40 that look south of 30 giving great massages and HE in a practically legit, super clean environment. After playing with some cute, young Thai girls, I don't want to take a chance with any other spots. Got some intel that I'd be happy to share for any Thai recommendations. Shoot me a PM.

[MikeFandango]

I've realized that one man's 10 is another man's 6. I would say this provider gave a terrible massage, clearly no training, it was actually pretty uncomfortable. I also wouldn't classify her as a spinner, she's got some meat on her for sure and a flat ass, I would rate her body a 7. Also a butterface. Just wanted to throw this out there before a bunch of people got really high hopes for this one (I did).

Just Like RuffRuffRuff I got a nice session with the same lady, she was pleasant, good looking and I enjoy the makeout session (sorry no massage, I prefer spend my time kissing), I also believe in give them a fair amount, but then again I prefer the hot Koreans for two bills in koreatown than the 60 plus SGV gilfs for 60/80 all included.

[Mr Sixty]

Had a delectable experience tonight to close out 2017. That's right. I do not consider today to be part of the year 2018. Until Jan 2nd I adhere to absolutely zero new year's resolutions. So all forms of debauchery were performed today and that of course had to include an intense, illuminating sexual experience.

Mysteries or not, I enjoy reading all your posts. Great writing, and I like your gentility and "sense of pleasure," as it were.

[Member #5596]

[Deleted by Admin]

EDITOR'S NOTE: This report was redacted or deleted to remove sections of the report that were largely argumentative. Please read the Forum FAQ and the Forum's Posting Guidelines for more information. Thank You!

[AsianPussy]

Some places will tell you some won't. Some don't even speak English when they answer the phone. That's why if you find a keeper always ask her what days she works. Some FS girls only do 1 day a week. Average FS girl is 2-3 days. There's only so much pounding their sweet asian pussies can take!

If you know Betty works at HT. Why don't you call them and ask what days she works?

This thread shouldn't be FAQ for people not willing to put in bare minimum effort.

I point this out in an attempt to improve this thread to the greatest that it should be.

[Member #5596]

I had the unfortunate urge to get a burger for lunch today. Bad move. For the second time in a row this place disappoints and left me with a taste of "food poisoning" if you will.

Today I ask the mamasan to show me the line. She says ok no problem. Of course the worst of the bunch of girls comes right in and closes the door. I tell her I asked to see the lineup. She says she's the only girl available. She goes by Dakota. Wow I've never interacted with someone that I thought had just snorted a speedball, but pretty god damn sure she was on the hard stuff. Yabbering constantly thorughout the brief massage (which I will say for the standards of this place was better than usual). She did deploy oil which to me is just gross. Fine. After telling me all about her failed NYE and a myriad of seemily unrelated topics she finally said "do you want to filp or?" I said fine. It's sort of awkward. "How do you want to start" killing the mood instantly. She then goes on about how her miniscus is torn and that missionary would be best. That I would need to be on top. I completely respect people of the trade and am always kind and humorous (to disarm the situation). But her cracked out face ranting about some injury that made less and less sense as she went on put a bad taste in my mouth. Her body was average but her as was insanely soft and plump. I say K9 she says fine. As I enter I realize I may not have entered? Then wait. Oh she's that loose. As we're in K9 she fake moans and moans. I slow down and she immediately says "ok what's next" ahhh should I tell you or just do it? I don't know what to think at this point. I ask to be lazy and lay down, she obliges. We're now in cowgirl and wow the crack must have really hit right then. She starts moaning like crazy, her face goes into cum-mode and I can feel her cervix (for the first time at all LOL) start to quiver and go nuts. She crack-cums! She's in such ecstasy for a minute or two that I think she forgot I wasn't her main man. She is now licking and moaning and all this stuff. She's now soaking wet to the point I can feel her wetness on my inner thighs. She says she wants K9 again but I say no no just let me I'm close. I do my business and we clean up. She starts jammering again faster than a coked up college kid. Something about the whole thing just felt gross.

A few weeks back I had a different but equally lame experience with a Korean girl that works there. I immediately discarded her name from my memory as I vowed never to see her again. She was tiny and very pale, cute though. She was so negative the entire time that it was just odd. She too asked me out loud every time what position to go to next in an ultra clinical way. If I picked up steam in any position she got angered and told me to slow down. Always telling me to return to missionary, almost in a condescending way. She must have been new to the trade. It was so awkward that I then vowed not to eat a burger for a long time. But naturally my depraved instincts kicked in and I caught the urge to return today. Mistakes all around. Come to think of it I had a lame experience there a few weeks before the Korean. Ugh.

For you guys out there that want to make sure you have a good experience. Go elsewhere. If I had to rate them like LA County does for health standards at all restaurants (where they put the letter on a sign in the window) I'd have to give this place a C.

Looks like the burger joint needs to clean out the kitchen.

[Member #5596]

What days does Betty work and can anyone recommended places with white girls preferably FS.

If you know Betty works at HT. Why don't you call them and ask what days she works?

This thread shouldn't be FAQ for people not willing to put in bare minimum effort.

I point this out in an attempt to improve this thread to the greatest that it should be.

[James Pants]

What days does Betty work and can anyone recommended places with white girls preferably FS.

[James Pants]

When does she work? I've had Diana, definitely recommend.

Tried to up sell me to. 20 but was okay with just 100.

Does anyone else have a recommendation for a place with FS white girl.