Escort Reports

**BossHawg** · 04-02-16 21:58

If I told you that I had the worst experience in recent memory, it would not be an understatement. To quote the great Jon Bon Jovi, shot through the heart, and you're to blame. Darling you give mediocrity a bad name.

I mean, let's be honest. It is now clear that the Cowboys are not the only thing named Dallas to disappoint. This lady called Dallas was so hideously egregious that she makes JR Ewing look like Yoda.

All of the warning signs were there during the cold, dead hand conversation that we had, but little head outvoted bigger head, and I gave it a shot anyway. Welcome to Dallas.

And despite it all, she is actually a favorable looking lady, not really the lady in the pictures on her ad, but still kind of cute, and she does have a sexy, vanilla ass.

Her boobs are also a handful of joy to caress and lick; one of the few things I actually got a yes on.

But while I was smooching on her vanilla boobs like a drunk Dracula nibbling on the jugular, I looked up out of the corner of my eye and this chick had a mean-mug, stone-faced, lifeless look going on that was so bad that it almost seemed like she could stare at the sun and drop it about 50 degrees.

And talk about Miss Personality, her demeanor seemed like a Vietnam, swift-boat pit-bull that had been beaten like a government mule and then fed gunpowder sandwiches. It was like rubbing up next to a tombstone, like cuddling with Mr. Spock, not based on her looks, but based on her disposition.

She wasn't incapable. She was just spitefully unwilling, cold and very unresponsive.

About 5 minutes into it, she was already complaining about how it was taking too long and not worth it. Then she began throwing more flags than a NFL referee.

She wouldn't let me daty. There was no BBBJ, although her CBJ was not bad. She wouldn't let me touch her feet and legs. She checked out with no real intentions of ever checking in.

To quote the great Prince Rogers Nelson: I knew a girl named Dallas I guess you could say she was a sex fiend. I thought she was an eager young lady but all she was is just crappy and mean!

Hey, Dallas gave me a hard time, so now I am giving her a hard time. As much as l enjoy doing the good reviews, I also love to dissect the bad ones.

So if you decide to see her, my advice is; you had better be able to free the tadpoles rather quickly.

http://memphis.backpage.com/FemaleEs...scale/14805126

**OutdoorMan** · 04-02-16 09:36

I've seen Selena enough times I thought I should be a gent and share. She is a gem. She has been posting in Memphis for a while now. It was hard at first to communicate w her but that it 100 million percent better. She is a sweet young woman! Take care of her. Read her reviews from the link. They are right on target. I'm dreaming of getting her and Bea together one day. I'm going to have to eat a case of Wheaties first!!

http://eccie.net/providers.php?do=view&id=271087

**OutdoorMan** · 04-02-16 09:27

Originally Posted by Escritor77 [View Original Post]

Hi everybody. I was wondering if any of you know this girl. I just found her. I think she is been around like one week on BP but probably I'm wrong. Below is the link. Any info about her will be appreciated. Just want to know if she is legit.

http://memphis.backpage.com/FemaleEs...ll-23/16825456

Yes I have seen her and she is legit. She's a 100 lb. Spinner. She was sweet and GFE. I was seeing her friend Kristen and she found out about me, sent some pics, and I went for it. It was the girl in the pics. However, Kristen is hardcore jacked up on the stuff, and she has offered many times to meet w her beautiful friend who she sends pictures of. Three times it wasn't the girl in the pictures. So be careful of these girls and be safe with them as well. I'd stick w Baby Doll and stay away from Kristen.

**OutdoorMan** · 04-02-16 09:17

Originally Posted by BigBoiTerry [View Original Post]

http://memphis.backpage.com/FemaleEs...-6356/16812047

I assume this is the IcEE that you're talking about outdoorman.

Your link won't pull up for me. Try this, and yes this is the girl in the pics. Pictures are better than what you see.

http://memphis.backpage.com/FemaleEs...image=16717079

**Member #5253** · 04-02-16 01:24

Originally Posted by OutdoorMan [View Original Post]

Byhalia Lexie?

If why'all are talking about Byhalia Lexi, I've got some first hand info from a reliable source that she is currently a guest of the state of Mississippi.

**KinkyMemphism** · 04-01-16 08:41

Originally Posted by MemphisRed [View Original Post]

A www...you guys sure know how to make us gals start our day off with a big grin and an extra boost of self-esteem. Seriously it really makes my day. OutdoorMan- shall we start a game and watch them play "Guess Bea's Age?" No cheating guys! Might be a prize for the winner! LOL, I'm just messing with why'all. You all know I'm always trying to cut up. Speaking of which- Does anyone know where I can get a big box that's refrigerator-sized? Kinky, Outdoor, all my peeps. Don't say what its for!

Not fair I'm disqualified for prize cause I already know your age. And told you working on the box just not as easy as thought. Might just have to get a few boxes and duck tape and mcgiver it together. Your great at that anyway LOL.

**BadLuck** · 04-01-16 08:09

Originally Posted by BossHawg [View Original Post]

Bad Luck, you might be in for some bad luck. Being a reg member, I don't know if she will. Some of the other guys may be able to help with that.

Yeah, I kinda figured that but you never know unless you try. I didn't find this board until late in life. Still got to pay my dues.

**Mike1701** · 04-01-16 07:17

Originally Posted by MemphisRed [View Original Post]

A www...you guys sure know how to make us gals start our day off with a big grin and an extra boost of self-esteem. Seriously it really makes my day. OutdoorMan- shall we start a game and watch them play "Guess Bea's Age?" No cheating guys! Might be a prize for the winner! LOL, I'm just messing with why'all. You all know I'm always trying to cut up. Speaking of which- Does anyone know where I can get a big box that's refrigerator-sized? Kinky, Outdoor, all my peeps. Don't say what its for!

Guys, I did finally meet with Ms Red. I can't say anything that hasn't already been said before. Really had a great time.

Hey, I already know, Bea about a few things. Just keep being you.

**Memphis Red** · 04-01-16 00:38

Originally Posted by Glockman [View Original Post]

I know your age and you don't look anywhere near it. I am leaving the country until late April. Barely north of the equator. Might see a jaguar. The cat not the car. Keep it warm for me. We may still do that naked library shoot yet.

Yes! Caught in the stacks! I would love to do what we talked about with library. Don't worry about which library. While you're gone I'll go location scouting. Maybe Mr. BBT or Kink can escort me! We'll do some test shots and have it all sorted out for ya when you get back Glock. Be safe and have fun on your trip. And take some extra shots of sloths for me. Better yet, a SLEW of sloths!

**Memphis Tenn** · 04-01-16 00:20

Originally Posted by BossHawg [View Original Post]

Bad Luck, you might be in for some bad luck. Being a reg member, I don't know if she will. Some of the other guys may be able to help with that.

I've tried a few times to contact her via text, and haven't gotten a response. I even let her know I had several girls who could vouch for me, and even named my go to for her to contact if she'd like.

Still no response.

I'd normally just have given up after 3 attempts, but due to all the attention she's gotten on this board, I'm sure she's just being cautious, and I certainly don't blame her. Maybe when I make it to senior member status she will still be around. Also, maybe she just has plenty of money and doesn't need mine!

Good luck to you with getting a response.

**BossHawg** · 03-31-16 23:14

Originally Posted by BadLuck [View Original Post]

Hello fellow mongers. I'm thinking about slipping up to Memphis tomorrow (Friday). I can see from the pictures Glock posted not only is she beautiful, she also does what I'm looking for. Does she see non regular customers? Also, is the best way to contact her to message her on here? Please advise and thanks.

Bad Luck, you might be in for some bad luck. Being a reg member, I don't know if she will. Some of the other guys may be able to help with that.

**Glockman** · 03-31-16 23:08

Originally Posted by MemphisRed [View Original Post]

A www...you guys sure know how to make us gals start our day off with a big grin and an extra boost of self-esteem. Seriously it really makes my day. OutdoorMan- shall we start a game and watch them play "Guess Bea's Age?" No cheating guys! Might be a prize for the winner! LOL, I'm just messing with why'all. You all know I'm always trying to cut up. Speaking of which- Does anyone know where I can get a big box that's refrigerator-sized? Kinky, Outdoor, all my peeps. Don't say what its for!

I know your age and you don't look anywhere near it. I am leaving the country until late April. Barely north of the equator. Might see a jaguar. The cat not the car. Keep it warm for me. We may still do that naked library shoot yet.

**Escritor77** · 03-31-16 17:28

Hi everybody. I was wondering if any of you know this girl. I just found her. I think she is been around like one week on BP but probably I'm wrong. Below is the link. Any info about her will be appreciated. Just want to know if she is legit.

http://memphis.backpage.com/FemaleEs...ll-23/16825456

**Seven Inch** · 03-31-16 16:42

Originally Posted by BossHawg [View Original Post]

Is she actually the lady in the pictures, or is she just another poser scamming her way down the yellow brick road? Also, was the location bad too?

Icee tried the same game with me. She's got some fast, hard miles on her if she's new to the game! 😄 Whiny, wants to quit & upsell. She must not realize she is & looks like a junkie or daddy just training her to keep the turnstile spinning. Either way I would not repeat. BJ was decent, just too much unnecessary BS. She did get me off in a dream but service was just average. Was giving another monger directions before I even got out the door. I'm with Outdoorman. Avoid. 7.

**BadLuck** · 03-31-16 16:31

Hello fellow mongers. I'm thinking about slipping up to Memphis tomorrow (Friday). I can see from the pictures Glock posted not only is she beautiful, she also does what I'm looking for. Does she see non regular customers? Also, is the best way to contact her to message her on here? Please advise and thanks.