The Rat Trap

[Camera3]

Buff guy is an equal opportunity ass hole, and I an an equal opportunity dick. We get along just fine.

But Ashley is beautiful, sweet, perfect spinner body and a natural blonde. Mom would have kept her and thrown me out.

C3.

I damn near cried on the bring her home to mother part. Buffguy needs to ease up on you LOL.

[Exec Talent]

I just got back from Top Shelf and let me tell you the girls there are beautiful.

I'm new to this community and was afraid to go but these girls make you feel so relaxed.

Sophia and Kim were working today and you'll definitely have your choice in two beautiful girls.

I chose Sophia since she is new. She's a thicker European Princess. Gorgeous eyes and great personality. The Time flew by that's how much fun we were having.

If your interested in seeing her or Kim I would definitely recommend it.

- Mike.

http://orlando.backpage.com/BodyRubs...ot-21/11185678

Imagine that!

We know the drill by now Shill. The more you go the better the experience and be sure to tip generously because the more you tip, well need I say more.

BTW, didn't I see you on the corner the other day with a sign that said -- I Shill for Food.

[Member #4882]

See if you spent that time getting Pussy Dreams. You would not be so fucking angry.

This bullshit you posted below really contributes to the forum. What a load of CRAP! JAG is also a Butt Wipe just like you. Looks like your the one that needs to spend more time on trying to get some pussy!

Oh yea, I looked at all 177 of your post and you have about two reviews on girls you have posted. Boy you are real contributor to this forum. Must of your post are worthless! Go choke your chicken in a corner somewhere!

Good Day Sir!

Jazak.

[Member #4882]

I damn near cried on the bring her home to mother part. Buffguy needs to ease up on you LOL.

One of the finest ladies in O town is Ashley Monroe. She has been around a while, has hundreds of reviews on various sites. I think I have read one bad review and she remembers it well and who it was and why the moron wrote it. She is a legend. A genuine professional's professional. She has inspired quite a few other ladies who were also loved by some of us. If I had ever brought Ashley home to meet my mother, my mother would have loved her. She is that much a lady, like fine China or precious silver.

I received contact from her today that she is retiring. She did not go into details of what her new path will be, but I am sure she will be successful at anything she tries.

Ashley, you will be missed and it is doubtful anyone will be able to fill your shoes. I believe we will be remembering you for a long time as the best of the best. Wherever you go, please play safe.

C3.

[Sexifun]

Are you saying your Cindy my ex's ex because that's who I was taking about. Someone doesn't spend 2 hours texting trying to convince someone she is not yet has the pics on her phone to say different. I mean me I block the first text and go gack periodically and check my block history to see how pathetic they are when I see they are still texting. You 2 hours hnmm.

Swaganna.

You spent 2 hours texting me! I don't have a blocking feature on my plan. You texted me from 2 different numbers and YES I kept all the texts (especially where you said you were coming to my house and you gave the wrong address) . Your mentally unstable and I kept them for just this purpose. Again I don't have to send you pics, your not a client or a friend your just bat shit crazy but here's a photo I took with the computer. You still want to go on with this crazyness? Remember savanna I'll be happy to meet you in PUBLIC take the balls to call me (something you didn't do that night even though I called you so you could hear my voice!) Also may I suggest that you stop pissing off provider's,you didn't think that may be a bad idea? After harassing me for 2 hours and now on the bard do you think I would vet you? HELL NO! I would say stay away cause I have personally experienced your nutiness. Guys beware someday this one will snap on an innocent monger and will be far reaching repercussions. Oh and BTW why not back a REAL football team GO VOLS!

[Camera3]

One of the finest ladies in O town is Ashley Monroe. She has been around a while, has hundreds of positive reviews on various sites. I think I have read one bad review and she remembers it well and who it was and why the moron wrote it. She is a legend. A genuine professional's professional. She has inspired quite a few other ladies who were also loved by some of us. If I had ever brought Ashley home to meet my mother, my mother would have loved her. She is that much a lady, like fine China or precious silver.

I received contact from her today that she is retiring. She did not go into details of what her new path will be, but I am sure she will be successful at anything she tries.

Ashley, you will be missed and it is doubtful anyone will be able to fill your shoes. I believe we will be remembering you for a long time as the best of the best. Wherever you go, please play safe.

C3.

All these texts from about 8 different numbers yall can't stand it. Your life is run by stalking me, messaging me why haven't I post in the trap. I mean really I don't give a damn what you call me, think of me, want to be me so bad you're stalking me on the forum 24/7 texting me I mean how sad. I really feal sorry for all of you. As the famous words of a wise man once said " I ain't never been nothing but a winner" Paul Bear Bryant.

Swaganna.

[Dtfbigd]

Savanna vs. Summer.

Round 1.

Cat Fight.

[Member #4697]

It has came to my attention that everyone on USA thinks FLAKISSER is the jag. .

1.) jag is making his own idiotic site like USA.

2.) I know flakisser. He's a great regular of mine. I see him a couple times a week.

3.) why is everyone on the hunt for jag? Why are yall giving him thus satisfaction. He's probably sitting back and laughing at how much yall talk about him. I know I am.

4.) this site is to put a review so other guys can see if a girl is safe to see. You guys are poisoning it with your drama. Can you guys not just get along and keep it short and simple and leave it be. This isn't a contest of who's more macho.

5.) flakisser isn't jag. He's a very respected regular of mine.

Xoxoxo Mel.

This pretty much confirms that this flakisser is Jag. Jag used to go on at length about Mel and how great she was. Probably told her to talk down about Jag so nobody would suspect anything.

However. I've seen Mel several times and she is a great provider and super cute. And she is right. Let's get back to fucking!

KC.

[Dtfbigd]

Where the Gators are.

Roll Tide,

Swaganna.

Bet you weren't as confident when it was tied at 21 in the third quarter.

[Sexifun]

Shortly before midnight tonight I received a series of texts from savanna (which I verified by doing a reverse look up on her number and it came up on an old link of hers) she claimed to know me that I had messed around with her ex, she first claimed to be a nick ferbes. And accused me of being a girl named cindy. Which even my detractors know is pure bullshit. Quite a few of you know me and I have no idea what 's up with her. Just a head's up. She's completely lost in. Gentlemen here have reviewed me and I think she's drank the punch so beware.

[Jazak]

This bullshit you posted below really contributes to the forum. What a load of CRAP! JAG is also a Butt Wipe just like you. Looks like your the one that needs to spend more time on trying to get some pussy!

Oh yea, I looked at all 177 of your post and you have about two reviews on girls you have posted. Boy you are real contributor to this forum. Must of your post are worthless! Go choke your chicken in a corner somewhere!

Good Day Sir!

Jazak.

I am not the author but it reminded me of the Dearly Departed, Continually Reincarnated Individual, Car Driving Son of a Gun from this forum.

Seems like very board had some sort of review thread every week, usually about inflated scores or worse the fake reviews some unscrupulous folks submit in an effort to defraud the clueless hobbyist or boost a lady's average. Then ya have the only review that I feel is a laughing matter and which if I took the time to read my own submissions again I'd probally find myself guilty as the fellas I'm going to crack on here. Not naming anyone or do I have anyone either provider or hobbyist in mind as I write this, just have the urge to try and get a chuckle out of my unseen audience, so for the sake of fun let's take a satirical look at the typical "I'm a porn star" hobbyist review. Why'all know the kinds of reviews I'm talking about the ones that make the average American suburbanite sound like a Roman Love God worthy of having a constellation named for him. " look kids! To the left of the Big Dipper!! It's Schlongula the Roman God of the horizontal tango. " I've heard a few ladies comments on how us fellas write to make us seem John Holmes' and Peter North's man gravy was mixed in a lab before being inserted into 80's porn starlet Amber Lynn (got to give her props, first time I ever rubbed one out was one of her movies) to create a new breed of man a Robocop of the Kama Sutra. So here are 2 sides of a review of a fictional lady "Molly McBigguns".

His take:

I had been eyeing Molly's ads for a while and was excited to see she was going to be in my area so I sent her an introductory email, I could tell she was enjoying our back and forth emails that followed as we communicated for several days. I knew she was going to be into me. The evening before our date she sent me her number to text the following day, we started texting the morning of our date all day finally ending with the text with the room number. The door opens and she greets me with a look that says "this is better than I expected" a dfk that lingered long enough to let me know she was into me.

We chat for a bit and it's clear she is not going to rush this at all. We start to kiss and our clothes come off, she works her way down to my massive rock hard erection and pauses a second to appreciate the glorious sight of my swollen member. Finally she starts to work the head of my meat missle with her tongue and massaging my perfectly proportioned boys with her fingertips. She never actually deep throated me I guess she couldn't take it all it's not everyday a lady sees a trouser snake like this in person. I defied her mouth must be sore from the stretching I've gave it and lay her down and gently suckle her melons. I slowly work down to her snatch and slowly probe her musky sweetness with my tongue. While I'm doing this she cums at least 5 times as is evidenced by her cute girlish shrieks of pleasure. After giving her a minute to regain her composure after the through tongue lashing I gave her she applies the cover luckily I had brought my Magnums for the event. We start in CG and she takes a moment to work my love stick in her love pit. After getting used to my girth she slowly works her body in a circular motion that obviously pleased her as she had yet another O. She would stop every once in a while and slide off and look at my cock like she couldn't believe she was capable of taking such a magnificent tool. Decided to go to mish where I pounded her like no tommorrow our bodies working in perfect harmony, while we watched in the mirror by the bed, untill she screamed out in ecstasy letting me know I had fulfilled her to the point of no return as I emptied what seemed like a gallon into the Magnum cover. She got a washcloth and cleaned me up and we talked for a while really getting to know eachother and the mutual connection that only comes from the chemistry of two accomplished lovers who are totally fulfilled. She never watched the clock even though after as long as I stayed in the saddle and the time we spent talking we went way over. I would repeat and I only give her the 8 performance because she couldn't deep throat my massive meat whistle.

Damn this guy is a stud!! Let's hear Molly's take on the turn of events.

"John" sent me a message inquiring about my upcoming visit to his city. I nearly deleted his message the subject line read "can you take it" OMG what a douche but car payment was due so I figured what the hell? It took several emails to finally get what I needed from him for screening. Then I made the mistake of giving him my phone number too far ahead of time so he literally blew my phone up all fucking day! Every 10 minutes it was like "hey what ya doing" Jeez felt like middle school talking to this guy. He arrived 20 minutes early and I saw him making circles around the hotel, figured I'd let him in so he didn't attract more attention. Door opens and I stared dumbfounded he looked like that guy in the movie "Office Space", the annoying boss guy except he was wearing a leisure suit like Cousin Eddie in "Christmas Vacation". I just kept telling myself "damn I love my car" he leans in for a kiss and damn near swallows my head and I try and pull back I think the fucker bit my lip. He only booked an hour so I let him talk about his stamp collection and his expensive watch for a while hoping the actual physical part wouldn't last long, or maybe he would talk the whole time. Nope he ripped my dress off, had to get it repaired that dress cost more than twice what he paid me!! He lays on his back grinning at me like I'm supposed to be in awe of his crooked half flaccid penis. I start on the head (did I mention it was below average size I'm talking a 2 millimeter peter here) and I'm very gifted at oral but this odor like rancid cottage cheese was coming from his balls I just couldn't bring myself to go down there. Thankfully he finnaly wanted to go down on me, I thought " this won't be so bad, even the most ungifted partner can halfway do this right" WRONG! Mother fucker dove in like he was trying to win the pie eating contest at the state fair. I swear I think he bruised my damn labia!! Then he tried to stick a dry finger up my ass which made me scream. I just closed my eyes and went to my happy place like in "Happy Gilmore" only the midget was driving my BMW instead of riding a tricycle, don't know why but that always makes me laugh and gets me through a rough day at work. Then he whips out this wrinkled ass Magnum condom wrapper was sealed so figure hell let him keep his fantasy. He made a big production of "fitting" it over his semi erect penis. It was hanging off the end of him so much I kept stopping to make sure it hadn't came off. I rode him and had to keep moving side to side to create some sense of friction in the hopes he would finish, I'm often told how snug my vagina fits even an average cock but this was like throwing a hot dog down a hallway. After about 2 minutes he wanted to go mish. He would watch in the mirror and I did as well but all that came to mind was that creepy ass scene in "American Psycho" where Christian Bale hired those two poor girls. Thank God I don't have Huey Lewis on my playlist or I would have ran naked through the lobby to escape that image!! He started making sounds like the principal in "Forrest Gump" he let out one final squeal and I knew he had finished. I did the usal professional courtesy of cleaning him up and disposing of the evidence which was surprisingly little in volume for the noise he made. Then he just hung out and showed me pictures of his toy poodle on his phone. Finnaly he left a hour after he should have so I could spend an hour in the shower and light some candles to get rid of the smell of cheap cold cuts his sweat left in the room.

[No Alibis]

What's the spread for tommorow? LOL.

A dream is so much nicer when the bookie pays for it.

[BuffGuy111]

Roll Tide Baby

Are you serious?

[BlackPrince]

What's good with all the hobbyists tonight.

Leaning in my chair.

Man, listen I am the Roger Mayweather of this ho game. Let me tell you something most cats don't know sh&t about the hobby. I will give you an example, 1 of my hobbyist friend said some girl off USA sex guide is one of the baddest chicks in the game. I said " who is she"? He said something like thicknjuicy. I looked at him like thicknjuicy?? I'm like who reviewed her? He named some cats. I was like "she a nobody". WTF is going on, you don't know sh*t about hos my man. I am a historian on these damn [Deleted by Admin]. I know when Jersey girl was making pancakes at Dennys while giving some of sweet syrup on hobbyists on the side. I know when Cuban Melissa never dyed hair like she doing now and still getting her street medicine off colonial. I know when Savanna was at Lakeside talking to herself on the bus. Man I know all of that sh&t. Basically if I don't know who these [Deleted by Admin] are, she is a nobody in this game.

Signed.

Drewbruski.

[Jmoedb]

Alabama 34, Florida 18.

What's the spread for tommorow? LOL.