"Sugarbabies" / "Arrangements" Amateurs or Not?

[FyrGuy33]

Not sure of the Nando number -- but I would run from this one -- reeks of a woman wanting to get her hooks into you. Keep your personal info VERY secret. This type do not take rejection well!

I agree, RUN. One thing you need to understand is that we are in the SD / SB relationship because we do not want to settle for less. I am like you with the smoking thing. I never would have gotten past a couple of cocktails because of that. You need to cut her loose before you get too involved. While you did well value wise, if she is not meeting all of your expectations, just say "NEXT". There are far too many others in the sugar bowl. Since you have just started with this, I would suggest you spend the time enjoying every M&G you can. Remember, you are interviewing them, not the other way around. I personally make it a policy to not go to the FC on the first date. This gives me the opportunity to let the big head make the decision. Also, there is no reason to wine and dine them. Spend a pile of cash on the M&G and they get in their head you are an ATM. Good luck with your hunting, and be safe.

[HollywoodGuy]

Hollywood, I ask because I had one SB for about a month and realized we weren't a good fit afterall. When I told her that we were done She became sort of hostile and made noises like she was totally invested in the relationship and that I couldn't just walk away. The money I spent was too small to take care of all her bills so who knows what was going on.

So your relationship, despite her low expenses, makes me curious how an arrangement that long goes over with the SB.

Thank you as always for your time and wisdom.

We had many conversations over the months about picking it up in the bedroom, all to no avail. There were many magic moments but not enough to sustain the relationship. For me every time has to be an over the top experience or why am I there? She knew the handwriting was on the wall and I bonus-ed her at the end so she would have nothing to complain about. She said she was totally devoted to me during our time together, and that was true.

I knew from the beginning I was going to have to try to push her limits. I did try but failed. I was very clear that the break up was over sex. And most are either over sex or money. I always paid the agreed upon amount no matter how often we hooked up. It started out at 8 times a month and ended up at 4 times a month. Way over my budget. So there really was no mystery and I gave her every chance to get up to speed. She can easily find someone to pay more and she knows it. She is also debt free and fully employed, so there is really no need for any drama. And there isn't any.

In civi dating you sometimes have to take what you can get, but not in the sugar world.

[SpiceOfLife]

Not sure of the Nando number -- but I would run from this one -- reeks of a woman wanting to get her hooks into you. Keep your personal info VERY secret. This type do not take rejection well!

No, my sugar was $$. But with food / drinks / hotel / wine etc I actually spent close to $500. There are other costs to be factored in and I will have to learn to lessen those other costs. $$ a date I can handle, especially if we're together 5 hours + like we were, but I wanted to impress so I went over and above. My fault on that one, but as I was watching my funds diminish I realized I can't blow money like that on every date. She wasn't asking for more than drinks, and wasn't prepared to go to the FC either but I'm very charming.

SOL.

[Rouleur]

So after 18 months with my 20 year old princess I had to pull the plug. I had her on a 1 k a month allowance and she averaged 2 k a month on her job.

Since she lived at home and paid no rent her progress from having nothing when I met her to having all the basics is now complete.

She was my version of a 10/10 but never achieved the skill level in the FC to keep it going. Its too bad and a little sad, but the time and energy plus the funds just didn't add up anymore.

Since she was my professed GF, I am now officially single again so to speak. And like JL says someone has to be the boss, and I was definitely not in total control anymore so I had to give it up. Sb creep had settled in and my CPO was way off base. Every current girl I am seeing is at a strict $ per date or less (and this includes any all extras like rooms or food, excluding gas). This is going to make a big change in my ability to play and save for the rest of the year.

So yes, I do pay very little in cash but a lot in mentoring, emotional attachment, etc.

Hollywood, I ask because I had one SB for about a month and realized we weren't a good fit afterall. When I told her that we were done She became sort of hostile and made noises like she was totally invested in the relationship and that I couldn't just walk away. The money I spent was too small to take care of all her bills so who knows what was going on.

So your relationship, despite her low expenses, makes me curious how an arrangement that long goes over with the SB.

Thank you as always for your time and wisdom.

[WalkAwayJoe]

I've been looking every where for a sd, but no luck 423XXX327 zero, I can send pictures <3.

[Member #5055]

Not sure of the Nando number -- but I would run from this one -- reeks of a woman wanting to get her hooks into you. Keep your personal info VERY secret. This type do not take rejection well!

So my very first M&G went well IMO. Met my sexy blonde 30 y / o, we had drinks, flirted a lot and then I asked if she wanted to get a room. Neither of us were particularly expecting a trip to the FC but being a good boy scout I was prepared. She hadn't had sex in almost 2 years, was very sensitive and came easily and loudly. So I now have my first SB and we'll see where it goes from here. It's a first time experience for both of us and lots of fun. However, she was adamant about not getting naked until I committed to her as my only SB before the deed, which of course I did. She is my only SB "at this time" but I have another M&G set up for today that I don't expect to go to the FC and I'll make a decision on who I want to be with for now. I don't think she understands that this type of relationship is supposed to be transitional and isn't a long-term commitment. I'm just starting to have fun and I want to see what's out there. Next date I'm going to explain in further detail exactly how this works. I don't want her to feel like I used her and threw her to the side. I like her too much for that. But, there were some red flags last night, and I probably should have avoided the FC on the first date with this one but the call of the FC was too strong.

Red Flags: I only have ever dated non-smokers and picked her profile specifically because she didn't smoke, so imaging my surprise when she showed up with a cigarette hanging out of her mouth. The smell of it actually turns me off so much that I had a hard time keeping an erection, although I did manage 2 pops.

She has expensive tastes in jewelry, purses, etc. But had zero money on her even though she owns a legitimate small business.

She is already making long-term dating plans based on the fact that we did the deed. I came into this SD thing wanting to meet as many women as I could. I'm not looking for monogamy.

My starting budget is probably in the $1 k / month range, but with the date, some sugar, gas, hotel room, wine, etc. I racked up well over $400 which will mean 2-3 dates per month MAX and that doesn't allow for other M&Gs to bolster my future rotation. I still have half a dozen women that I'm interested in looking to meet me. I guess I'll commit to this one somewhat as I learn the ropes, set some rules and see what happens.

SOL.

[HollywoodGuy]

So after 18 months with my 20 year old princess I had to pull the plug. I had her on a 1 k a month allowance and she averaged 2 k a month on her job.

Since she lived at home and paid no rent her progress from having nothing when I met her to having all the basics is now complete.

She was my version of a 10/10 but never achieved the skill level in the FC to keep it going. Its too bad and a little sad, but the time and energy plus the funds just didn't add up anymore.

Since she was my professed GF, I am now officially single again so to speak. And like JL says someone has to be the boss, and I was definitely not in total control anymore so I had to give it up. Sb creep had settled in and my CPO was way off base. Every current girl I am seeing is at a strict $ per date or less (and this includes any all extras like rooms or food, excluding gas). This is going to make a big change in my ability to play and save for the rest of the year.

So yes, I do pay very little in cash but a lot in mentoring, emotional attachment, etc.

[RiverGriz]

Like SOL, I was intending to budget about $1 K / mo, but wound up spending $7 K the first month or so getting established and getting all the machinery moving in the same direction. Now it as settled in to about $1. 5 K / mo with about four, sometimes five good outings per month.

I'd be interested in hearing from some of the serious-old-times on this board what a monthly and per-event budget is running.

My starting budget is probably in the $1 k / month range, but with the date, some sugar, gas, hotel room, wine, etc. I racked up well over $400 which will mean 2-3 dates per month MAX and that doesn't allow for other M&Gs to bolster my future rotation. I still have half a dozen women that I'm interested in looking to meet me. I guess I'll commit to this one somewhat as I learn the ropes, set some rules and see what happens.

SOL.

[Nerd29]

I had been texting and emailing a POT for about a month as she was pretty nervous about meeting and seemed to be in and out of a bad relationship. I get a text with the standard "I really hate to ask you this but. " Well she needed a little bit of money and asked if I could help her out. I weighed the pros and cons and decided to meet her that afternoon and give her $. 6 as a down payment. She seemed super happy and we talked about meeting the next day. So fast forward a day and I send her a text letting her know I was in my way to our planned meeting spot. She texts back about 30 minutes later asking if I was there and she was trying to get another $. 4 from her uncle. Another 30 minutes go by and she sends another text saying she could not make it because she did not want to get pulled over for not having current insurance on her car. I tell her no worries and go silent. 2 days later she sends a text asking where I have been and why I have not talked to her. I send a simple response saying I was disappointed in her backing out of our meet and it gives me serious doubt I can trust her to keep her word especially since I already helped her out some with money. Never heard back. Oh well. I really did want to go FC with this one as I had a lot of time invested and she was super cute.

I will be visiting Manhattan for 11 days for work and if anyone has any leads in that area pm me with any information you are willing to provide.

Thanks! And happy hunting!

[JZLizard]

We all need different things. Some girls are Subs and want a Dom Daddy or SO. They do need constant validation that they are respected and needed, and special.

An SO should never have to feel insecure about your love for her.

But she should never take us for granted either.

And JL is correct in advice from those of us who are avoiding the hard relationship issues by escaping to the Bowl.

She doesn't have to feel insecure about my love for her, in fact really if I had my way she wouldn't. But everyone I've ever been with seems to feel threatened they will lose me to someone better -- the reality is that my dabbling in the bowl is very few and far between, and makes up a very small percentage of my life, and there is certainly nothing about any of these SBs that threatens to take me away from her, it's just something to cure my boredom when she's out of town.

And yes, mongerer forums are probably the worst place on the planet to seek advice on how to sustain a relationship. I'm the way I am because I was born this way -- I wear the pants in my personal relationships as well as business and that's mostly because it's not in my nature to be any other way. The likes of Dr. Phil and Oprah Winfrey would like society to believe whatever they are selling in their latest episode, but if I look at my own relatives and friends, at the relationships and marriages that have actually lasted, they fall into one of two categories:

1. The male is the clear leader of the family and takes no shit whatsoever off the female.

2. The female is the boss and the male is pussy whipped.

In other words there is a clear leader in every successful relationship I've ever witnessed in my lifetime. Everything else is only something I've heard about on TV. I wouldn't be able to force myself to become a #2 case if I wanted to.

[FredMoore]

Tip of the day: Never take relationship advice from anyone who hangs out on a forum like this.

I've already left her once in the past. If she fucks up I'll leave her again.

We all need different things. Some girls are Subs and want a Dom Daddy or SO. They do need constant validation that they are respected and needed, and special.

An SO should never have to feel insecure about your love for her.

But she should never take us for granted either.

And JL is correct in advice from those of us who are avoiding the hard relationship issues by escaping to the Bowl.

[SpiceOfLife]

So my very first M&G went well IMO. Met my sexy blonde 30 y / o, we had drinks, flirted a lot and then I asked if she wanted to get a room. Neither of us were particularly expecting a trip to the FC but being a good boy scout I was prepared. She hadn't had sex in almost 2 years, was very sensitive and came easily and loudly. So I now have my first SB and we'll see where it goes from here. It's a first time experience for both of us and lots of fun. However, she was adamant about not getting naked until I committed to her as my only SB before the deed, which of course I did. She is my only SB "at this time" but I have another M&G set up for today that I don't expect to go to the FC and I'll make a decision on who I want to be with for now. I don't think she understands that this type of relationship is supposed to be transitional and isn't a long-term commitment. I'm just starting to have fun and I want to see what's out there. Next date I'm going to explain in further detail exactly how this works. I don't want her to feel like I used her and threw her to the side. I like her too much for that. But, there were some red flags last night, and I probably should have avoided the FC on the first date with this one but the call of the FC was too strong.

Red Flags: I only have ever dated non-smokers and picked her profile specifically because she didn't smoke, so imaging my surprise when she showed up with a cigarette hanging out of her mouth. The smell of it actually turns me off so much that I had a hard time keeping an erection, although I did manage 2 pops.

She has expensive tastes in jewelry, purses, etc. But had zero money on her even though she owns a legitimate small business.

She is already making long-term dating plans based on the fact that we did the deed. I came into this SD thing wanting to meet as many women as I could. I'm not looking for monogamy.

My starting budget is probably in the $1 k / month range, but with the date, some sugar, gas, hotel room, wine, etc. I racked up well over $400 which will mean 2-3 dates per month MAX and that doesn't allow for other M&Gs to bolster my future rotation. I still have half a dozen women that I'm interested in looking to meet me. I guess I'll commit to this one somewhat as I learn the ropes, set some rules and see what happens.

SOL.

[JZLizard]

I don't think the upper hand works. Lasting relationships require a balance. Women are into the storybook of happily ever after and long for that. If she is not secure in a relationship she will stray and eventually leave.

Tip of the day: Never take relationship advice from anyone who hangs out on a forum like this.

I've already left her once in the past. If she fucks up I'll leave her again.

[Golfcart]

I don't think any woman has ever been secure with me in a relationship, but it's actually good to keep them a little jealous and worried -- I'd rather it be like that then the other way around. It gives me the upper hand in the relationship. But sometimes they need certain reaffirmations -- women have their games.

I don't think the upper hand works. Lasting relationships require a balance. Women are into the storybook of happily ever after and long for that. If she is not secure in a relationship she will stray and eventually leave.

[JZLizard]

The woman wouldn't pull that shyt if she was truly secure in the relationship. We're on the lookout for strange but still more secure than the women. We trust. Women don't trust.

I don't think any woman has ever been secure with me in a relationship, but it's actually good to keep them a little jealous and worried -- I'd rather it be like that then the other way around. It gives me the upper hand in the relationship. But sometimes they need certain reaffirmations -- women have their games.