"Sugarbabies" / "Arrangements" Amateurs or Not?

[BikeRider]

Great comments by Revvo and John. I plan to use GV and hoping there is no back tracing to your personal info.

I use GV for txting and calling. But I have only 1 cell which is used for business. So need to be careful. I fwd the txts from GV to my cell and try not to call using my cell. Calling is big problem. As my BB doesn't allow calling using Google voice. I may have to get a burner phone.

If you forward GV to phone registered to your name, Google can make the connection easily.

I use GV and a burner phone. I only forward to my phone prior to a meeting. I give my burner number to women whom I trust enough not to become stalkers or such. A rare few over the years have been given my personal number.

I like GV because I can also send and receive txt on my computer. To prevent Google from connecting the account to real me, I use a Virtual Machine (VM) that is used ONLY for mongering. The VM is encrypted on my laptop. I VPN (VPN account purchased via a gift card) from the virtual machine at boot. This way, hopefully, my mongering account cookies and IP's are never connected to the real me.

While the above seems pretty paranoid,"only the paranoid survive" as said by Andy Grove. The good of the above is that I think it does a reasonable job of keeping a wide moot between real me and monger me. The down side is I've noticed lately that making online purchases while VPN'd are often denied. In those cases, I usually am able to make the purchase from my burner phone.

I'd be curious to hear from any divorce lawyers on what and what can't be subpoenaed in a civil divorce case.

[Walruscl]

So, brothers, an unexpected twist in my journey. Pardon the novella.

Given that this pretty much violates all of the rules and collected wisdom here, I do not recommend that anyone follow in my footsteps. Although I would be interested to hear of those that did and had good outcomes.

I also apologize for how light on details I'm going to be. Perhaps I'm being excessively cautious (which will be laden with irony in a moment) , but the less identifiable the incident, the more comfortable I feel about mine and my SB's anonymity. I'll also ask that why'all give me some benefit of the doubt. I did think long and hard about doing what I did, and we had a very long heart-to-heart talk about where this was going to go before I took the leap.

So, without further ado.

Like most of you, I find "deep cover" to be an intense challenge. For me, also a source of stress. But when a thermonuclear event hangs in the balance, you do what you have to. And I've been doing a decent job of it, with the exception that if hotels suddenly started posting their nightly guest list to the Internet I'd be totally cooked.

But then, in the process of arranging a visit to the FC, I ran into a combination of logistic hurdles that had me over a barrel. This particular visit had been planned, cancelled, planned again, cancelled, and the ducks were finally in a row. So when things started to go awry, I was very motivated to keep things on track, which is partly how I ended up where I did.

The overall shape of the situation was that the initial logistic hurdle was pretty much going to guarantee a blown cover. Additionally, at least for this somewhat unique visit, there were some other sudden complications that were most easily solved by just dispensing with deep cover.

Which is exactly what I did.

I already knew where she worked, almost exactly where she lived, and it was clear that I could at least make life very complicated for her if I wanted to. During our heart-to-heart, I mentioned this and assured her that I had no desire to or interest in doing anything remotely like that. But the fact remained that I'd really only be comfortable if there were some "Mutually Assured Destruction" dynamic in place. So to her credit, my SB broke her cover first, before I even committed to doing so myself. She also told me some of her deeper secrets (which were verifiable later) , the nature of which made it even more clear that if I wanted to cause trouble, it would cut deep.

Of course, a young SB always has much less to lose than a SD in a stable family.

But as I've read time and again here, the odds of sustaining deep cover with a long-term SB go down over time. So in some ways this was just another point on the risk continuum, and was probably inevitable anyway. It helped that even though the MAD was still asymmetric, it wasn't as asymmetric as most.

While I've only known her for a couple of months, we've communicated every day. Her biggest fault seems to be that she suffered some unusually harsh consequences to what were fairly normal lapses in adolescent judgment. Yet despite it all she has a sweet disposition, and there isn't the faintest whiff of vindictiveness. Which in the end was what finally tipped me.

So we traded peeks at our ID's, and rather than a hotel I took her to my guaranteed-to-be-empty-for-the-duration house. This introduced new dimensions to deep cover-leaving no trace in the house, not attracting notice of neighbors, etc. Having her there was a weird mix of relief yet new stress. So future home visits will be very rare. But in this specific case it made it much easier for me to maintain appearances.

So here I am, in this very unexpected place. On one hand, it feels like a big weight off my shoulders: only one deception to manage now. My SB made it very clear she understood what a big deal this was, and was honored (her words) to be able to share in a piece of the world I inhabit. If my demeanor didn't make it obvious that I lead a comfortable if unglamorous life, seeing it in person certainly should have.

On the other hand, I'm keenly aware that I've potentially added another fuse to the time bomb. But the time bomb was there to begin with, and there's innumerable ways it could blow. From the war stories here it seems like it's usually the thing you *don't* see coming that sets it off.

One could argue that perhaps I shouldn't be in the bowl to begin with. My deep cover collapsed in a matter of months. I certainly wouldn't be able to multi-task like some of the superstars on here. I'm fortunate to have found one very nice situation, and I'm enjoying it while it lasts. It's unclear that once it inevitably passes that I would have the fortitude to do it again. With the mind-bending memories we're making in the meantime, I'm not sure I'll have the need.

Be more careful than me out there.

[BikeRider]

Greg,

Pay for everything you can with cash. Cash is your best friend. I've gotten discounts on hotel rooms when I show up and say I'm paying with Bennies. I've also gotten the clerk to erase my info from the computers. Look into Greendot cards, both for yourself and your babies. You can buy them with cash and refill them that way as well. Use them to book rooms online, pay for your meds (if you need them) , and use them when checking in for the "incidental charges." When you register the one for yourself, you will need to give them an address (I use my work one) and a valid SS. This is the one hole in the cloak of invisibility, but it is a small one unless your wife hires a lawyer, in which case your goose is cooked anyway. It won't be the point of first exposure if you've done everything else right as outlined in the clubhouse journal in past pages. And train yourself to throw away all receipts immediately, keep a "scrubbed" car, and clean out your pockets every day before you come home. Make it an inflexible routine and you lessen the chance of blowing your cover.

I forget if you told us, are you married?

Scott

F. Scott points out the MAJOR hole with Green Dot. You have to use a valid SSN. Years ago I was able to get one by saying to the rep I forgot my SSN. I ditched that card once I married. And I wish I hadn't. Since the Patriot Act. Trying to get a card without a SSN is a no-go now, or my social engineering skills aren't what they use to be.

If you ever need to get a credit report for a mortgage / refinance etc, the Green Dot is going to show up. Then, you have some splaining to do Lucy if your wife or SO looks at the credit report.

I put a fair amount of time in attempts to find a card that is renewable and you don't have to provide a SSN. Most of what I found were very sketchy cards for people to gamble online.

What I do now is reserve rooms with a personal card that has my office address, and pay in cash at check-in. Be careful that the type of reservation ISN'T pre-paid. Also be sure and pay at check-in. Some hotels now run your card at midnight.

There's a small risk with the above approach as the hotel does a card validity check. A private detective would have to be really good to get that info. If the info is even kept (I originally thought not. But now a days I think everything is kept).

[HollywoodGuy]

I am tired of all these detective stories. Lets see some pics.

[GeorgeRichmond]

Excellent points John G. Definitley play to your SO's weaknesses. Miine is not the thorough type. So this helps.

Since I use GV. I do not have a lot in my kit. Just condoms and Visa Gift Cards. So it is quite simple. I travel as light as I can. Little to keep track of.

Nothing is foolproof there will always be risk.

Revvo

Great comments by Revvo and John. I plan to use GV and hoping there is no back tracing to your personal info.

Scott: Yes, I am married. But my big problem is not getting my needs satisfied. My SO acknowledge that as well.

I am enjoying this world but one problem though.

SDs that I met. Are pro UTRs. They told me the allowance upfront and when I reduced my amount, they reduced their time and frequency. Like 2-3 hours per meet and only twice a month. All of you in same boat? This is local only. There are SBs who can meet all day but allowance is too high. The one in NJ, is otherway around. Allowance is secondary. Though I assume is required. She asked me 1 time and then. Never discussed. But spent all day with her. Outdoor followed by indoor activities.

At this time. Have 1 good local SB, but clock watcher. And pro. Like to get allowance first. Which kind of disappointing, even after 2 meets by now.

I use GV for txting and calling. But I have only 1 cell which is used for business. So need to be careful. I fwd the txts from GV to my cell and try not to call using my cell. Calling is big problem. As my BB doesn't allow calling using Google voice. I may have to get a burner phone.

[Revvo]

Excellent points John G. Definitley play to your SO's weaknesses. Miine is not the thorough type. So this helps.

Since I use GV. I do not have a lot in my kit. Just condoms and Visa Gift Cards. So it is quite simple. I travel as light as I can. Little to keep track of.

Nothing is foolproof there will always be risk.

Revvo

[John G Smith]

Revvo,

This is a great idea! Don't know why I didn't think of it before. Right now I have my "gear" scattered among several hiding places, which I sometimes change and then forget about, affording me a very Bracing shot of adrenaline until I find whatever it is, usually my phone. My one hesitation is that it brings all the incriminating evidence against you into one very convenient place, should it ever be found. Sort of like the "doomsday" packs the Bush administration was urging us to put together in case Bin Laden ever came calling, but in reverse. Instead of saving our lives, discovery of this kit would surely end it.

But I like the "grab and go" aspect. Out of curiosity, what all do you keep in there?

Scott

I agree with both points. Having a singular toolkit makes it easier for deployment and docking operations. But on the off chance you get interrupted on the way to the garage (maybe your SO happens to be outside when you come home) , you basically have a nuclear device strapped to your chest or sitting in the car. I also take the "scatter" approach with my gear. With this approach you probably run a higher risk of a single piece of a evidence getting exposed at some point but there's less risk of a catastrophic failure.

But to be honest, I've been trying to avoid having any "physical" gear to deal with around the house. I don't use a burner phone. I use a GV# which can be destroyed remotely within a few minutes if I have access to a computer. I don't keep any condoms, massage lotions, or toys around. If I buy them it's for a one-time use, then I toss them or let the SB store / keep them. Everything else of note is digital and I regularly do a "fire drill" to practice quickly scrubbing and locking accounts. If I ever sense there's a real danger of serious exposure or trouble, I can basically scrub my digital activities in 15 minutes via laptop or smartphone.

It's really just a matter of staying diligent and not getting too relaxed. You can have the greatest scrubbing / cleanup routine but it doesn't do any good if you get sloppy or complacent (which is exactly what happened to me). Your routine though should tailor your individual situation. Revvo said his SO is very short, so putting things in a high place in a room she never visits works well. For me, even though my SO is short she regularly uses foot-stools to reach high places and she goes through various parts of the house randomly, there's no "off-limits" zone for her. But when it comes to tech and computers, her knowledge is very minimal, so keeping things digital is safer for me than having a burner phone lying around somewhere. So your routine should really counteract your SO's strength and weaknesses.

[F Scott]

Gentlemen,

In perusing the journal as of late, it seems like many of us are winnowing our babies into one of three groups: keepers, one-offs and emergency-use-only.

With that in mind, I'd like to propose another acronym, BCB, or Booty Call Baby, for the latter category. I myself realize I have several of these, and they are usually hot-bodied little treasures, but will never make it into the realm of steady, regular rotation. They will never be ones that I deliberately make time for, but on the other hand I don't want to let them drift away.

Opinions?

Scott

Sorry, my brothers!
Did I miss the memo? I just read Fred's post, and it seems that this is already in play, at least by him. Bright minds and all that!

Carry on,

Scott

[F Scott]

Gentlemen,

In perusing the journal as of late, it seems like many of us are winnowing our babies into one of three groups: keepers, one-offs and emergency-use-only.

With that in mind, I'd like to propose another acronym, BCB, or Booty Call Baby, for the latter category. I myself realize I have several of these, and they are usually hot-bodied little treasures, but will never make it into the realm of steady, regular rotation. They will never be ones that I deliberately make time for, but on the other hand I don't want to let them drift away.

Just a thought, but I find very often that a name for something helps to define it, think about it, and makes it real. I realize our private list of terms is growing, and even I, who have been here pretty much from the start, sometimes have to think about what the heck some combination of three letters means.

Opinions?

Scott

[ChiGuy606]

One thing that's worked for me in the past is to register for a hotel online. Make sure you flub your name when you submit the form. If your real life name for instance is "Dick Longmember", then register as "R. Lingenbemer". Be sure to copy the confirmation # with you, this is your key to the room.

When you check in at the desk, say your real name (because sometimes they check I'd) , and they will not be able to find a "Mr. Longmember" registered. At this point use the web confirmation number & they will find your registration that way. You can both laugh at how the "Internet messed up your name". Say "don't' bother changing it, I'm only staying one night", and 9/10 times they will not change it & the room will actually stay registered in the wrong name.

Now if you have a nasty baby in the room & she tries to dig up intel on you, she'll only find the wrong name & that will send her out on the wrong path to finding you.

Again, if you can get away with cash & no name at all, thats obviously safest, but this technique has worked for me in places where I've had to use a real card & show real I'd.

YMMV.

-Chi

[F Scott]

How I do it. I have a small kit of my SD accessories. It is packed in a small zipper case like you use for storing thumbdrives. It is very discreet.

Then when I get home I immediately go to the garage. No one dares set foot in the garage because that is where work gets done. LOL So this is primarily my domain. The closest anyone in my family goes to the garage is to throw something out there through the back door. But there are really high shelves in there loaded with all kinds of boxes and junk.

No one especially my short wife could reach these shelves. But up on one shelf is a nondescript cardboard box which I put my kit, and I have to step on the riding mower seat to get to it. And then I can barely get to it. You could not ever put a ladder there because the mower is in the way. Which no one would dare touch also. Then on the mower seat is a small towel to indicate if anyone has touched the seat.

Anyway you get the idea. I can reach up there and grab my kit in less than five seconds and be gone. By the way it is the last thing I take in my car and the first thing I put away when I come home. Don't want it left in the car.

It is working so far.

Revvo

Revvo,

This is a great idea! Don't know why I didn't think of it before. Right now I have my "gear" scattered among several hiding places, which I sometimes change and then forget about, affording me a very bracing shot of adrenaline until I find whatever it is, usually my phone. My one hesitation is that it brings all the incriminating evidence against you into one very convenient place, should it ever be found. Sort of like the "doomsday" packs the Bush administration was urging us to put together in case Bin Laden ever came calling, but in reverse. Instead of saving our lives, discovery of this kit would surely end it.

But I like the "grab and go" aspect. Out of curiosity, what all do you keep in there?

Scott

[F Scott]

Get a prepaid phone and only use the top up cards. No name associated with it.

BT

Greg,

Pay for everything you can with cash. Cash is your best friend. I've gotten discounts on hotel rooms when I show up and say I'm paying with Bennies. I've also gotten the clerk to erase my info from the computers. Look into Greendot cards, both for yourself and your babies. You can buy them with cash and refill them that way as well. Use them to book rooms online, pay for your meds (if you need them) , and use them when checking in for the "incidental charges." When you register the one for yourself, you will need to give them an address (I use my work one) and a valid SS. This is the one hole in the cloak of invisibility, but it is a small one unless your wife hires a lawyer, in which case your goose is cooked anyway. It won't be the point of first exposure if you've done everything else right as outlined in the clubhouse journal in past pages. And train yourself to throw away all receipts immediately, keep a "scrubbed" car, and clean out your pockets every day before you come home. Make it an inflexible routine and you lessen the chance of blowing your cover.

I forget if you told us, are you married?

Scott

[FredMoore]

Well, my ATF #3 has returned to the scene!

She bailed on me because of? But claims I got too emotionally involved. But I think she had another IRL BF and wanted to work on him. Well he dumped her and called me about some other issues we were emailing about. I reminded her that I stand ready to serve when called, so she called. She needs money but I think she also got a case of the grass is greener and found out it isn't always. She is just what I like except for the lack of emotional involvement. She is a 10/10/9/8 (2 off for lack of emotional involvement) Her disclaimer is that she can't promise a regular weekly thing to keep me in my plae I guess.

SB #1 (smokin' smoker) is now a weekly appointment 9/9/8/7 3 off for heavy smoker, baby in the bedroom, no sleep. I might make her a booty call now that ATF is back and not spend the night. An escort would be cheaper and simpler but I don't like the high volume, lack of BB, and LE risk.

SB #2 (country girl) last night date was a lot of effort for a mediocre experience. She is 7/7/7/7 Not good enough for the effort and cost. She is now to become BC #1.

SB #3 (chubby) is on the bench and is going to be BC #2. She is 7/7/8/7

Pot #1 (college girl) totally flaked the day of appointment and went silent. She is history.

Pot #2 (hot MILF) Has family issues right now and might resurface but I have a full plate now that ATF has rejoined the lineup. If ATF doesn't perform every week I'll work her in to alternate weeks.

So Booty Calls (BC) are : SB's :

BC #1 country girl ATF #3.

BC # 2 chubby Smokin smoker

BC # 3 escort friend

And that is enough for my budget right now.

[Spitfire]

Get a prepaid phone and only use the top up cards. No name associated with it.

BT

And pay for the top up cards with cash.

[BigTime2]

Get a prepaid phone and only use the top up cards. No name associated with it.

BT

As BT said pre-paid is the way to go, buy the phone with CASH and refill cards with Cash. Don't use your CC to purchase, No trails equal Happy Happy Happy!