"Sugarbabies" / "Arrangements" Amateurs or Not?

[GeorgeRichmond]

Scott, Mandy and others thanks for all your guidance on this forum. This is a great forum and will be active member now. I joined a month back to SA based on you all's tips and then several hits but no luck. Several were either fake or not serious. About to give up on SA, still, everyday I came here to read you all's success and blogs. But as you said, keep looking don't give up. No local hits but most of them hour+ drive. #1SB. 2+ hour drive, was very exciting on phone (yes did share it) and then finally one evening decided to see her. It was late arrival, with dinner but she was mostly into TV. Well, night went well, it was short and quick but was good. So found my first one. Found #SB 2 but still travel. Love the way she prepared and presented herself. Will post how it goes on our next date.

Only thing, I kept wondering, how much one should share about personal life (like past girlfriend, marriage or kids, etc). Does it matter? Do SB care about it? If I like SB and should I tell her everything. What if she decides to not see me after that?

[Hernando]

" you may open a new door on possible SBs, wait staff general make very little and they will know you are nice and in the game."

VA Jimbo, This is a very good point. My SB and I frequent many of the same places and one in particular has HCB waitstaff who always take care of us. I often think that if my SB and I ever part ways I would definitely go back there for some sb shopping. Also I take her to a jewelry store in a large mall and the HCBs who wait on us give me THE EYE. I sense that one in particular would not mind being on the receiving end of my largesse.

Gents, ergo keep your eyes open while you are out with your Baby. SB material abounds. Having said that I would not hit on anyone else while I am involved with my SB since I am a Mono Man and not a MF at the moment.

[JoesParty]

The posts about "looks" in public about age and race, etc. are interesting, but I should probably reveal a little background so that my earlier remarks can be viewed in the context in which I meant them. I am in my early / mid-30s. My M&G partner just had a birthday and is barely above the age at which one can order a cocktail in a reputable establishment. I haven't dated anyone that age since, well, *I* was that age.

Now, one can certainly argue that age is just a number, or she's a HYCB (almost, except she's not in school), or 10 years isn't that far apart. But not having experience with the difference, I am concerned that we will not connect on many emotional (not physical) issues. Not that it is impossible, but I am just being cautious. She really wanted to impress on me how "mature" she is, a line that, quite frankly, I used in my younger, immature days. This is not to say she is not SB material or that I will let "looks" discourage me, but she may not be long term material. We shall see.

Anyway, thanks again for the anecdotes and perspectives.

Regards,

Joe

[SbabyBlog]

I think the first time I really experienced this was when The Doctor and I went a concert together – front row tickets and we arrived pretty late. I was dressed in a cute little dress and boots (it was country). It all added up to a bit of an unintentional dramatic arrival. As I stood there with his arms all wrapped around me I did notice a few stares from women. I learned then to laugh about them. It just made me giggle and kiss him more.

Now, there is a much more visibly significant age difference between Memories and I and while were affectionate towards each other in public, were not over the top. Again, I've noticed a couple stares from men and women at restaurants. Ultimately the men just wish they could have the means to do the same thing and well who cares what bitter mean women think. I don't waste a second on them and won't let them ruin my fun night out.

I guess it's a hard concept to teach a girl not to care about what people think and say. But, growing up as 'the awkward kid' I learned to fast. Help your sugar baby embrace it and turn it into something fun if it's making her uncomfortable.

[Castlerae]

In my admittedly limited experience, I haven't had anyone really pay any special attention to me and my date. Both meetings were in a good-quality restaurant, and we made no effort to get an isolated table. Wait staff and patrons treated us no different than anyone else. As for race, I'm white, both of the women I met were black, but the meets were in a large northern town where 'mixed race' couples aren't anything out of the ordinary. What would I do if there were an 'incident'? I don't know, and frankly, I hope I don't find out.

[VAJimbo]

Booth will get you the looks, just ignore them. Older women will give you dirty looks when you are with a young attractive girl and not acting / looking like her father, their men normally give you the grin / nod. Waiters will sometimes hit on them or flirt right in front of you. I have on occasion excused myself to use the facilities and said something to the young man or even the manager; this has always ended that issue.

We are in the South add the age issue and you will run into people that may even say something, if staff talk to the manger right away, if just some A-hole ask to be moved or ignore them. If at any time it looks like it could get out of hand leave, you do not want to find yourself in a police report. In about 10 years I only really had 1 issue, was out with a 20 yo black girl (I'm white) and a black guy made an ass of himself about it, I said something to the manager and he was asked to leave.

One way to avoid is to use the same recusants, treat the staff well and tip well, once they get to know you they will take care of you and you may open a new door on possible SBs, wait staff general make very little and they will know you are nice and in the game.

[F Scott]

She gives me the type of IRL GFE that I crave (while still acknowledging it's all fantasy).

Regards,

Joe

This is perhaps the most succinct description of the ideal SB / SD relationship, at least for me.

Scott

[F Scott]

She is 10 years younger than I and a different race. The latter is not a problem for me (and neither is the age) , but I haven't much experience with either issue and am not accustomed to some of the glances we received at the restaurant.

Regards,

Joe

My ATF is 30 years younger than I am, and there is no way anyone thinks we are father / daughter the way we behave in public, but I understand how you could feel uncomfortable if people are staring. This never happened to me until the last time we were together having lunch, and the waiter was giving off a totally shnarky vibe, so much so that I thought for a moment about calling him on it. I'm not sure what I would have said, but my baby noticed it too, and it cast an ever-so-slight chill on the occasion.

I guess this is something that comes with the territory, but I wonder how others deal with it. I would also like to hear from brothers who are dating outside their race on that whole issue. While I have yet to go there in my sugar life, I did, for a brief period, have a black girlfriend in college, and we both got shit for it to the point that we broke up because it was too much to deal with. She was so sweet, I often think of her and what might have been had we been at a less-conservative, less-uptight institution. She was, by far, the best kisser I have ever encountered to this very day, and she always smelled like lotion. Ah!

Still quiet,

Scott

[EuroInCincy]

Gee. 10 years. The ones I meet are usually 30 years younger.

What I did found out that last week there was a deluge of winks and emails on sa. Geee I limited myself to 4 m&g this week, and declined all the ones who wanted some sugar at the m&g. Th emost fun was a set of two, but one does not seem very interested while the other is. We will see on the 2nd date. Bowling and shopping.

[Hernando]

" 10 years younger " and " (I) am not accustomed to some of the glances we received at the restaurant."

Well Joe, my Baby is 40 (forty) yrs younger and I do not notice any critical glances at all. Of course I am not looking but perhaps people think we are father / daughter, but we make out in public places rather tackily at times, so that leaves little to the imagination. I sure don't care. I do find young men eyeballing my SB, because she's hot.

I am looking forward tonight to my second all nighter this week with my Baby. We manage to see each other about twice / week, so all is right in Sugar land for me. Sounds like Brother Scott has cranked up the multifucking behavior with 4 babes on the line although this week is lean. You will be saving up a lot of little Scotties for the next sperm bank donation to that lucky girl.

[JoesParty]

Almost too quiet. I've got nothing going on this week, unfortunately. Naughty Brit did finally resurface, but nothing is scheduled, and no explanation tendered. ATF still moving / settling in, and Polo is busy with kid-related stuff.

On the horizon, and I hesitate to mention this for fear of jinxing it, but I have no real expectation that anything will develop: my beautiful Irish Cherokee blended baby has been emailing me with assurances that she is getting her shit together finally and thinks she will soon be ready to meet for coffee again. Can it get any less committal?

Add to this the fact that work is a little quiet for me at the moment, and I might as well go back to bed.

Hopefully someone is doing something interesting! Tigg, we have not heard from you in a while. What's up, my brother?

Scott

It's been quiet here too, though not for lack of activity. Frankly, I've been a bit down this last week or so; my ATF announced she is moving out of state this coming Friday, much sooner than planned. She will return at regular intervals to see her kids, who are staying behind with dad. I hope things go well for her, but I will miss her terribly. Plus, we never got to have that wonderful night together she promised a few weeks ago. I shouldn't have let my hopes get so high on that, so live and learn.

On other fronts, though, things are humming along. My ATF's accelerated departure makes me glad I started investigating other options last month. I had a very nice M&G with a very attractive, flirtatious, and smart SB early this week. We had great conversation and a few good laughs. The only drawbacks are that we live a little farther apart than I'd like (for meeting purposes), and she, though not ditzy or immature, is 10 years younger than I and a different race. The latter is not a problem for me (and neither is the age), but I haven't much experience with either issue and am not accustomed to some of the glances we received at the restaurant. We'll see how things progress.

The relationship with the unemployed SB I spoke of last week is really heating up nicely. I've had to invest more time and money with her, but the return on those investments is coming along nicely. We've had a few intense dates at her place the last two weeks, and she asked last night when she gets to keep me overnight. I'm trying to make arrangements for next week. Add to all of this the fact that she is attentive, seems to genuinely enjoy my company, we're relatively close in age, and she gives me the type of IRL GFE that I crave (while still acknowledging it's all fantasy), she could turn out to be a keeper.

Here's to hoping no news from the others is mostly good news.

Regards,

Joe

[F Scott]

Almost too quiet. I've got nothing going on this week, unfortunately. Naughty Brit did finally resurface, but nothing is scheduled, and no explanation tendered. ATF still moving / settling in, and Polo is busy with kid-related stuff.

On the horizon, and I hesitate to mention this for fear of jinxing it, but I have no real expectation that anything will develop: my beautiful Irish Cherokee blended baby has been emailing me with assurances that she is getting her shit together finally and thinks she will soon be ready to meet for coffee again. Can it get any less committal?

Add to this the fact that work is a little quiet for me at the moment, and I might as well go back to bed.

Hopefully someone is doing something interesting! Tigg, we have not heard from you in a while. What's up, my brother?

Scott

[SbabyBlog]

Well, I think the best way to explain my weekend is to share what I tweeted Friday night:

Just got to say, yeah. My life is pretty good and I'm a happy girl! Headed to bed, off to see The Doctor tomorrow, can't wait!

I had just come from a school thing where I got to spend time with some great people and was excited about my trip to see The Doctor Saturday morning. Now that I'm back home I can say my anticipation was completely worth it. I simply adore our time together, no matter what were doing.

We're making plans for me to come visit again in two weeks and I can wait! All's right in my sugar bowl and I'm still a very happy baby!

Mandy

[JoesParty]

So now I'm back at my desk, Scottie's pouting, I'm trying not to think about what could have been, and I'm in a crabby mood. Thank the Lord for cocktail hour. Two hours and counting.

Please, someone post something positive to cheer me up.

Frustrated,

Scott

Shit happens, to put it bluntly. I've had some ups and downs the last few days, but it's all par for the course. I've been in this about a month and a half now, and I think I'm settling into a nice situation with a fun (though unemployed) SB. (I seem to have a knack for finding the girls without jobs, which can make the sugar negotiations delicate, given their lack of dedicated income.) I'm having trouble closing the deal, though. It seems that a decade of living under the same landlord has made me a little unsure of myself when trying to negotiate a new lease. But the new SB is giving me the attention I crave, and the conversation turned to dirty talk today, complete with a pic from her to my e-mail this morning. I'm hopeful I'll be able to get over the hump, so to speak, very soon. Wish me luck.

All we can do is keep on trying.

Here's to a happy and productive weekend in the sugar bowl.

Regards,

Joe

[F Scott]

Scott,

Brit was AWOL, you canceled on Polo, and ATF is setting up your own personal love chamber complete with key. And you want me to feel bad for ya? Yes, I'm sitting here crying into my keyboard while reading your story (NOT).

Brother, from my perspective you strike out more times than I even get up to bat. Like I tell all my friends: "There are worse problems to have."

LOL!

SubCmdr Out

Point taken LOL.